Brother deployed, I'm going nuts

[maddyzmommy]

My brother deployed to Afghanistan last weekend. I can't sleep. I cry at random times with nothing apparent prompting it. I'm going out of my mind. I can only imagine how his wife feels. I've emailed her but I can't call her because I don't think I can trust myself to be perky and upbeat. I'm afraid I'll cry. Which is stupid. He's a grown man, an officer, a great guy who chose his career and does not feel even remotely victimized. But that's the thing. The families left behind checking cnn.com each morning for an inkling of what their loved ones are experiencing are kinda victimized, though. And I can't sleep. I just cry when I'm alone. I cried in an empty waiting room the other day, shocking the crap out of my daughter's speech path. It's like I'm losing my mind. I'm not a drama girl and I didn't tell most of my friends when he left because there's nothing to say about it, really. What are they supposed to say? "That sucks," is the most satisfying response I get - from my DH who gets that there really is no other response. 15 months of this.

Thanks for hearing me.

Andi

[denna]

Hey Andi,

First I wanted to say ((hugs)). I know how tough this must be, my husband is active duty Air Force, though our deployments are not nearly as long I know what you are going through. It is very scary but Afghanistan is one of the better places to be from what I understand. I know the media latches on to any story they can get but really statistically wise it is not too horrible over there. Im not trying to minimalize your concerns just hoping this makes you feel better. 15 months will go by faster then you think and he will be home soon. Just send him lots of love and care packages and keep in touch! An important thing I find is to send letters but not always expect a letter in return, sometimes it gets very hard to write with working long shifts, etc. But I know from experience that the letters are greatly appreciated.

I would definitely call his wife, even if you have to cry. Crying together is much better then crying alone. Does she live too far away for you to visit? Im sure any outreach of support from her husband's family would be greatly appreciated.

Huge ((hugs)),

[buddyleebaby]

Andi,

I cry sometimes, and I don't even know anyone over there.

Your brother is doing a very brave thing, of which I am sure you are proud. It must be incredibly difficult to not know where he is, and if he is ok. If you need to cry, that's ok.

I will keep your brother in my thoughts, and pray that he comes home safely.

((HUGS)).

[JBaxter]

Hugs to you
My brother is sitting in the middle of Bagdad right now on his second tour. His wife and 2 sons are stying with her parents in Okinawa until he returns. 3yrs ago both my brothers were there at the same time. Its hard but just keep praying and emailing. DB #1 is a Major and a career soldier. DB2 is was a combat medic but is now out of the military working as an RN.
I also have a cousin who is serving in Afghanistan. Lots of prayers here.

[maddyzmommy]

Thanks for your responses, Ladies! He CALLED us today for the first time. I was right in the middle of dealing with a painter and I just dumped everything I was doing and talked to him. I am so thankful that he called. It was hard not knowing how he was doing - I feel loads better now. Thank you for your kindness to me. I pray for all our soldiers but I'll pray for yours in particular.

Thanks,
Andi

[eliasmom]

Andi-

I'm so glad you heard from him - it is the waiting to hear something that is the worst. My husband deployed for 11 months back in 2004 and it was the worst year of my life. I cried all the time (and I was a soldier too, by the way, that didn't help at all). Every time I heard about something happening to someone else's soldier, I really felt their pain and the added guilt that we had made it one more day. It is a terrible terrible thing to go through.

That being said, don't be afraid to call his wife and tell her how much you miss him and that you're thinking about him and praying for him all the time.

Deployed service members live for mail, so I also encourage you to send lots of letters and care packages.

Hugs to you and hang in there! I'll be praying for your brother,

[kcimato]

As a mom of 2 soldiers amd mother in law to another, I feel your pain. I will encourage you to call your SIL and don't feel like you need to be perky. Go ahead and cry( most likely right along with her. My boys and SIL were deployed in 2003. I got up early every morning and watched CNN. They were with the unit where one of their own soldiers threw a grenade into the officers tent and killed 2 of them. It was the worst 2 nights of my life, waiting to hear some news. I couldn't go to work for a few days.

The best advice I can reccomend is to find a yahoo site for your brothers unit. That's what I did and it sure helped.