Baby Shower vent

[niccig]

I just need to vent. I helped organise a baby shower for a very good friend. As it's DS #2, she has all baby stuff and this child has special needs, everyone pitched in on a visa gift card thinking it could be for diapers or special needs toys or even medications. I call her telling her the amount of the gift card, she responds that the timing is great as it'll help pay for windows in their home renovation. I know that in the long run it doesn't matter where the money came from, that we have no control over how they spend the money, and we deliberately chose a gift card that can be used anywhere, but I still thought that it would be used for BABY items and not windows - she is very stressed over the renovation costs, but still. So, now I'm miffed about the whole thing and wished that I had just bought her a gift instead!
OK vent over.

[billysmommy]

That would bother me a little too. It is their money and can be used anyway they want but she didn't have to say that it would be used for windows or their renovation. I think that's what would bother me the most - just say thank you so much, this money will really help us.

(((hugs)))

[mariza]

I agree, they should have just said "thank you, that will help us a lot". BUT, if you look at it this way, maybe it will help you feel better. We are renting from my Mom and her windows are really old and energy inefficient, thus creating climate problems in the house (really cold in the winter and unbearably hot in the summer). I wish we had energy efficient windows!
It might be a stretch, but if you can re-program your thinking to beleive that new windows will make life more comfortable for the baby then you might feel better about the whole thing. My DS has Reactive Airway Disease and I'm nervous about the heavy humidity waiting us this summer, not to mention all the pollen that will be coming in with open windows. I don't know what your friends DC's needs are, but any baby that is uncomfortable is tough to live with and often times those with special needs have heightened sensitivities to their environment. HTH, you are a good friend for organizing the baby shower!

Mariza
Mommy to my "Thing 1" DD 1/05
and "Thing 2" DS 9/06

[niccig]

Thanks for giving the other point of view. I know she's under a lot of stress, and the renovations are becoming a nightmare. So, yes using the money for the house will help in the long run. I suppose I thought it would go towards baby items, and I know I'm not the only one that thought that. I'm not telling anyone else what she said to me, as I know someothers will be more annoyed than I am. We're giving it as a gift, which means they can do what the like with it. I don't always keep the gifts I get. I just need to get over it.
Thanks.
Nicci

[masha12]

With my second child, and my third, the best gifts anyone could give me would have been something that would improve the general state of my home.

I have reached the point that any baby gifts I get that have a gift receipt attached are all but guaranteed to be returned. I do not need any more bibs, stuffed animals, loveys, onesies, ornaments, photo albums or blankets.

Frankly, if I were you, I'd be thrilled that the money is going to something that will last a long time and that she will really appreciate. The best thing for a child is a happy well-rested mommy, and if new windows make her happy, that is exactly what her children need her to use the money for.