Ew. How does one...

[egfmba]

...go about politely telling one's MIL that she really shouldn't wash one's dishes?

MIL comes over to watch DSs while I'm at bar exam classes. She uses my food and dishes to prepare meals for herself. Not at all a problem. But then she 'washes' them. And leaves food on them. Ew. Gross.

It's as much a petty b*tch as a quest for advice, so I thought I'd put it here.

eva

[kijip]

Yuck! That is super annoying. The way I see it you have 3 choices:

#1- ignore the issue and use the dishes anyways. Not really an option but it is technically possible.

#2- don't mention it to her but re-wash everything that she "washes".

#3- mention it to her, telling her to leave them for you to wash.

I think #3 would cause hurt feelings. And it still means you are washing the dishes. #2 leaves you washing the dishes but not hurting her feelings. Since you are going to be washing anyways I would pick #2 and consider her partial wash to be a prerinse of sorts. :)

[AddiesMom]

Put out paper plates & cups! :)

When MIL watches my daughter I have to dress her in her worst clothes. Otherwise I am stain-treating things until the wee hours of the morning! I just finally accepted that my DD will be covered in food and just deal with it instead of getting upset that a brand new shirt is stained in sweet potato!

[nupe]

Definitely number 2 above. That is what I would do.

I think anyone who eats out is exposed to #1 anyway. Not to make your post sound silly, but...
There was an interview on NPR yesterday with a guy who tried to wash dishes at restaurants in all 50 states. One of his bosses disallowed him to wash dishes well, and sometimes at all. Like a soup pot his boss just kept reusing. Boss also insisted on NOT washing water glasses. And Oprah (rerun? last week) recently cultured a bunch of stuff in public places--they found 3 different salivas on a drink glass, and sperm in a soda fountain soda!! I think the list goes on.

[buddyleebaby]

Ew. never drinking soda again.

[Mommy Of A Little Angel]

Eww that sucks. I am crazy about clean dishes. I can't understand why people don't look at what they clean. Or better, what they pull out of the dishwasher. Just because it's "supposed" to be clean doesn't mean it is! I would just rewash. But, if she puts stuff away, good luck finding it all! Sorry!

[gatorsmom]

Before I read your post and had only read your subject line, I thought you were going to say "because she breaks them." I had that problem once with some good friends of ours who are in their 50's and so certainly old enough to know better. Whenever we had them over for dinner, I liked to use our good dishes (this was before the children were born). Our families both enjoy wine and would definitely try several bottles over the course of the night. But at the end of the meal never fail, Carol would INSIST on helping me clean up. So off to the kitchen she would go carrying my good dishes, stumbling and tripping all the way. I tried using our daily dishes when they came to dinner but I really didn't want them broken either.

Finally, when she was drunk one time after dinner and we were all in a jolly mood, I just told her laughingly that I didn't want her to break my dishes and she'd had a lot to drink. We all laughed about it and she never did it again. Must have got the point.

Sorry about the long story. Just felt like sharing today. I'd choose option #2.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

Is it possible that you're mil's eyesight is worsening with age and that she simply doesn't see the food that's left on the plate?
My mother had that problem with my her mil. Every time we went to her home she'd clean my grandmothers kitchen while she was doing the dinner dishes for her. I don't know if my grandmother noticed that she was doing it or not but it always needed to be done because she simply couldn't see all that well anymore.

[Bean606]

I would just not say anything and rewash them, but that's because my MIL is such a martyr that it would cause a family feud if I said anything. Good luck!

[egfmba]

First, thanks for the sympathy. It was needed. She's been doing this for days and I wanted to politely tell her, "You do so much already, don't worry about the dishes." It's not like she cleans any other part of the house!

But, instead of saying anything, I have simply been finding and rewashing them, as advised.

It was nice to be able to vent here, though. Thanks for that, more than anything, ladies.

eva