Morning schedules

[californiagirl]

My pre-baby morning schedule:
7:00 am: clock radio came on.
7:30 am: get up, possibly shower, get dressed, maybe read some
8:00 am: leave for work
8:30 am: arrive at work, have coffee and breakfast

DH's current schedule:
8:00 am: wife wakes him
8:05 am: shower
8:20 am: offer to finish fixing child's lunch, possibly pour milk or find fruit. Get on computer if child not ready to leave yet.
8:30 am: leave for work
8:45 am: arrive at work, eat breakfast

My current schedule:
6:45 am: Child yells "Mom-my! Waaake up! It's mor-ning!" I tell her to be polite. She comes in, leans on me, says angelically "Mama, it's morning. Could you read me a book?"
Tell her not until first number is a 7. She climbs into bed and fidgets.
6:55-7:00 am: Give up, read 2 books.
7:15-7:30 am: Announce that we are done reading and I need to pee. Child howls in outrage, tries to physically confine me to bed. Outcome varies. (I always get to go pee, sometimes while child howls heartbrokenly outside locked bathroom door.)
7:30 am: Take shower if necessary, with small child.
7:45 am: Put clean clothes away (yes, every stinking morning!) Because when I lived alone I just left them in the clean clothes basket, but now I put them away. All of them. Except the ones I get DD to put away. And once every few months, DH puts a whole laundry basket of clothes away.
7:50 am: Get DD breakfast. Start working on her lunch.
8:00 am: Wake up husband. Eat my breakfast, pack my lunch.
8:25 am: Inform world at large that it is time to get in the car.
8:30 am: Inform husband that DD and I are ready and will be waiting in the car.

There is some variation here. For instances, many mornings I also wash some dishes (although DH does the majority of the dishwashing and cooking).

I take the newspaper to work. I read it there. One of my colleagues said to me "It's your newspaper, you know; you could read it at home." I looked at him for a moment, and he thought. "Oh, you have a three-year old, don't you. I guess maybe you couldn't."

I want my life back! I don't want to fix anybody's lunch! I don't want to eat breakfast, much less make it for two people! I want to drink coffee (DH: That smells disgusting), at home, with soy milk (DH: Ick.)! I don't care what we eat for dinner! I want to sit on the couch, watch junk TV (DH: TV will rot your brain, we don't have a TV) and do my art, and eat instant indian meals with yogurt, or other hackish dinners that take one pot, 10 minutes, no thought and that DH thinks are disgusting! I want a BATH! WITH BATH SALTS, A BAD MURDER MYSTERY, A POINTLESS CANDLE, AND A CUP OF TEA! CAFFEINATED TEA! WITH BRANDY!!! (DH thinks this is silly, but wouldn't mind. Alas, our only bathtub is tiny and spider-ridden, and DD would want to join me. I can lock her out, but I can't do anything about the stupid shower enclosure that gouges your arms if you try to read and the inability to submerge more than a third of my body at one time.)

And if DH has a dust mite allergy, why can't he put his own clothes away? Or buy a dehumidifier, already?

I'm just venting. DH is mostly a reasonable human being. And it's only a little true that there are three people in the household and he does his full third of the work; it's the 3-year old who isn't pulling her weight. Maybe more than a little true.

[trentsmom]

What a morning! Though the one thing that hit me is, "Your DH sleeps through the 6:45 wake up call and then the fidgeting in bed?" But maybe he wakes up for that part, and then gets to take an early morning nap.

Also, what's an instant indian meal?

[ha98ed14]

Girlfriend, I hear you! I want my life back too! And my kid ain't 3 years, she's only 3 mos! So you get way more points than I do for sticking it out this long. But I am SO ready to go back to work. I read this board hoping to feel inspired by all the other SAHMs and truth be told, I'm not. I still wanna go back to work. (Maybe the problem is that I am reading the bitching post! Ha!) I am seriously considering making this baby an only child. She is going through her I am going to wake up screaming from my nap phase and I am ready to scream! I would, but she is already screaming! What I wouldn't give for an uninterrupted morning of a good latte and the NY Times unbroken by blood curtling screams. I swear the neighbors must thing we beat her regularly!

Long live the single days of instant tikka masala, aloo mater, saag paneer and rogon josh! (Its just like instant/ frozen weight watchers or uncle ben's but just indian food! SO YUMMY!) I ate a ton of it when I was single and working. My husband is also the cook in our house because, well, I don't cook. He is also very reasonable and probably does more than his fair share because he is the only one working right now. He's a teacher and school started last week. I am so jealous watching him go back to work. Baby was born end of May, so we were off together all summer, and split baby duty 50/50. Now he is going back and I am SAHM and I want out! I want to go to work because at least I know at a job the boss will not scream at me endlessly for reasons I cannot understand or interpret, which my current 3 month old "boss" does. Infact, she screams as I write this! (My husband is tending...)

Take heart, you are not alone.

Liz, sometimes reluctant mom to Nora, May 2007

[ha98ed14]

P.S. Where in California are you? We're in Fullerton, north O.C. (No I am not rich; I live in a tiny apartment with no dishwasher. Thank God for portables!) Maybe we can get together and commiserate! Misery loves company!

[californiagirl]

DH sleeps through anything (almost; this morning he did wake up after the 6:45 wakeup call and the fidgeting and reading her 3 books in our bed, because she was on the other side of the room, watching me put away clothes and going "meow meow meow" which I had frankly tuned out, but, ever vigilant in his quest to teach her politeness, he yelled "Stop that noise!") He is famous among our friends for being the guy who can not only sleep through a baby crying next to his head, he can sleep through a baby *throwing up* next to his head -- it's a wonder his ancestors weren't eaten in their sleep, I tell you.

Oh, and have I mentioned that my schedule is the same ALL SEVEN DAYS of the week? Whereas DH gets to sleep in on Sundays. Not on Saturdays. On Saturdays I wake him whenever I feel like. Sometimes as early as 9. Usually no later than 10. Why do I not wake him at 6:45? Because oddly, once DD has woken me and I have woken him and he has dozed off for 10 minutes and then showered so that he can maintain consciousness for more than 10 seconds at a time, I am already awake, because personally, I can't sleep through half an hour of having a small child bounce on me and try to pry my eyelids open. Or for that matter through half an hour of having a small child scream incosolably from having been inexplicably exiled. I have tried this many times, most notably the time I had the stomach flu and woke him up to let him know he needed to take her. And then I fell back asleep. So of course, so did he; why should he get up when DD wasn't up yet? Of course, DD and I were the only people awake the next time I needed to throw up. Big time fun, I tell you. I've tried being gone, too. It's amazing you know, if you're asleep for THREE HOURS while the toddler is awake, she gets into things. She broke her piggy bank! And the noise didn't wake him! He had the gall to complain that she'd colored on the wall. I think after my lecture on how lucky he was that nothing involved blood, poison, or fire, he has learned to USE AN ALARM CLOCK when alone with the child. But I'll be setting it personally next time I'm away. *And* arranging for a single parent friend of ours to call...

[C99]

OMG - this post cracked me up. I can so relate! (Only they are 4, 2 and 4 months and my work is fixing everyone's lunch, etc.)

[californiagirl]

Alas, I live in the SF bay area, on the peninsula. So we'll have to commiserate from afar.

[kozachka]

>DH is famous among our friends for being the guy who can not
>only sleep through a baby crying next to his head, he can
>sleep through a baby *throwing up* next to his head -- it's a
>wonder his ancestors weren't eaten in their sleep, I tell
>you.

LOL! While your post made me laugh, I can sooo relate, unfortunate as it is. My DH is one of those people who 'needs' 12 hours of sleep or more. And even more unfortunate, DS really wants me rather than DH in the morning. Even if DH is taking care of DS in the morning, the most extra sleep I get is 30-40 mins. The last time I got to sleep as much as I wanted (that would be till almost noon) was when DH was gone out of town and I had to have an unexpected surgical procedure so sent DS to stay with a trusted babysitter overnight. Also whenever I visit my mom, which happens once or twice a year, I can also expect to sleep in till 10AM or so... She gets it what it means to have a small child. And she knows I used to be one of those people who needed 10-12 hours of sleep a night.