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View Full Version : Feel like I fell for the friendship bait and switch



Ceepa
09-05-2007, 03:09 PM
I talked with a woman on several occasions when our DC were in a class together in the fall/winter last year. We ran into each other again at an event in the spring. I gave her my number and said we should get the kids together some time.

Fast forward to today: She called, said she ran across my number and reintroduced herself. She and I talked for a good while about this and that (nap schedules, school for DC, etc.). We talked about getting the kids together in general, nothing concrete.

Then she mentions her home business and next thing I know she's in full-blown sell mode and wants to set up an appointment to discuss how her business can improve the quality of life for my family. My mouth fell open, literally.

I was so shocked that I dodged an in-home consultation but she's supposed to call back next week. I have her phone number and e-mail and will cancel my "phone appointment."

WTH.

I really felt like a fool afterwards. And I'm so irritated.

-Ceepa

gatorsmom
09-05-2007, 03:57 PM
That's happened to me a couple of times. I HATE that. So, don't think you are the only one.

I think it's sneaky and dishonest. Clearly, that woman doesn't believe in kharma or she'd be very afraid.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

nov04
09-05-2007, 05:31 PM
nasty!!!!! karma will get her.

deborah_r
09-05-2007, 05:44 PM
Yep, been there, done that. I felt the same way as you. Sorry it happened to you!

ha98ed14
09-05-2007, 06:24 PM
The fact that she was NOT eager to set a firm time/ place for your kids' play date, but WAS willing to set a firm time and date for her to sell you her home based business product is PROOF that she doesn't want to be your friend, she wants to be your sales rep! If I were you, I would send her an email saying that, after thinking about it, you are happy with the quality of your life and are not interested in her sales pitch or her product. I'm sure she will never bother you again!

As an aside, I can testify to knowing a home-based business person who does sell to her friends, but doesn't (at least so far) push it on you. There is a lady who goes to my church, another young mom, who sells Arbonne (sp?) and really believes in their products. She put a little "sample pak" in my baby shower gift and said she really liked their stuff and I should try their baby line (the sample pak) and if I liked it, I could get it from her. That was 6 months ago. I never asked to buy some and she has never mentioned it. I talk to her almost every Sunday in the Church nursery/ baby feeding room as we are feeding and diapering our kids. I think home-based business people can sell with being tacky, unlike the lady who called you!

sidmand
09-05-2007, 06:36 PM
That's happened to me too. I thought it was because I was so gullible (and desperate for a friend!). I'm sorry it happened to you, but hopefully knowing you're not alone makes you feel a bit better. I guess it's better to be trusting (as long as you don't get taken for too much) than to be too cynical. In my case I did not dodge the in-home consultation though. And now I'm technically an Arbonne distributor as well....I do like their products, but I don't really think I needed to buy them...or to sell them! Ah well, live and learn, right?


Debbie
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crAbbymom
09-06-2007, 12:20 AM
Get a load of this... My brother hadn't called me but ONCE (to say he was getting married 2 days before my 1st anniversary) since I had been married (I had been married about 4 yrs!)

The second time he called. Was to sell me something. I kid you not. Some people have no class.

That woman is sooooo not worth thinking about again!

supercalifragilous
09-06-2007, 11:04 AM
I've had women join moms groups just to get the phone list/group directory and start soliciting stuff. They even have the nerve to walk into a church (MOPS group) and do this too!

They've gotten really sly about doing their advertising - the latest ploy has been waiting a couple meetings and then throwing frequent scrapbooking parties, candle parties, makeover parties etc., at first making you think that she is just hosting one (when really she is the consultant!). When you get to her house, she is pushing everyone to host parties of their own, of course!

And also you see that everyone and their dog is on the mailing list - in alphabetical order of the directory, no less - and some of the other moms have even asked me, "Who is this so-and-so - she sent me an invitation... Do you know her?"

I say if you're going to do that as a consultant, at least offer the moms in the group a freakin' discount to make it worthwhile!

GlindaGoodWitch
09-06-2007, 04:31 PM
I totally know how you feel. I was invited to a neighborhood ladies lunch which turned out to be Hi-C, stale oreos and a LOT of pressure to buy candles and gift wrap.

I went because I was new to the neighborhood and wanted to be polite. The funny thing is that had those women been honest about their intentions, I probably would have bought something.

It's just the deceptive nature to all that stuff that I hate.

At least you found out BEFORE you had a playdate because if your kids became pals, you'd have to deal with her all the time.

Ceepa
09-07-2007, 07:23 AM
Thank you for the feedback.

I guess I'm so accustomed to awesome moms like the ones here and my friends IRL that I was surprised and annoyed by the strongarm approach.

I'm sorry it's happened to others of you. But we didn't do anything wrong: Just because someone else acted poorly doesn't mean we were misguided to trust in their legitimacy from the start.

Love me some BBB Board!

Globetrotter
09-07-2007, 12:03 PM
This has happened to me twice. The first time we were in a kid's store and this couple was really friendly. I thought it was weird but didn't think much of it. They got our numbers and called later, and that's when we figured it out. The funny thing is, the SAME woman approached me again two years later!!! I just walked the other way asap :) The other time, I was in the mall food court and this woman next to us was really friendly, chit chatting the whole time. I was suspicious, but she said she had moved from somewhere in the midwest and wanted to meet new people (we are in CA) so I figured that's just how it must be out there LOL so I gave her the benefit of the doubt as I didn't want to be rude. There was another woman with her - they gave an elaborate story of how they were alone and the kids were with their aunt, or something like that. She gave me her card at the end, to keep in touch, and that's when I knew something was up. I hate the deceptiveness.

The sad part is, whenever someone is friendly like that, I get suspicious!!! I met another mom (I even asked her if she wanted to join our playgroup as we hit it off) who wanted to meet for coffee. My Amway radar went up big time at that point, but I had already invited her to the playgroup! Anyway, she turned out to be a great friend and I feel really bad for suspecting her motives!

Kris

katydid1971
09-07-2007, 10:24 PM
I'm a member of a service organization, last christmas time one of the other members had this "great idea" to give gifts to a local nursing home. If we all gave $10 everyone could get this great gift. It turned out the gift was Mary Kay products that she sells and she didn't give us a break on the price. I was really mad that she used us that way and so were many other people in the group. I have other stories of being invited to "parties" where they sell products that I can get a lot cheaper at Target, but that one really made me angry.
Sarah

PS to the people out there that have these parties, FYI sitting eating chips and dip and having some one tell me why I need to buy their stuff ISN'T a PARTY!!!!!!!

Melanie
09-07-2007, 10:51 PM
Oh ICK. I would be upset and feel used after a phone call like that.

I think they just get in over their heads or indoctrinated into the "cult" so quickly, they don't know what they're doing. Suddenly they're calling everyone they've ever met. I'm one of those people they don't like b/c all I like to do is go to the parties and *gasp* buy the items. No thank you, I don't want to host a party and no thank you, I don't want to be a consultant and make tons of money. I think that is what upsets me, when I feel like I'm letting them down yet I've "bought" into whatever the product is enough to want to use it. Like that is not enough.

Corie
09-09-2007, 09:50 PM
I knew I should not have tried to sell you that encyclopedia set!!

maddyzmommy
09-12-2007, 02:07 AM
Been there, done that. I got roped into the Arbonne nonsense, but with NO intention to ever sell. My so-called friend said I'd have to give her my SSN to buy the products. WTF? I trusted her and gave it to her and what do you know, I was a freaking ARbonne rep. Yuck. My membership ran out and she had the nerve to call me out of the blue a year later and send two invitations to the retarded parties that are not really parties all because she wanted me to pay the freaking fifty dollar membership fee again. Uh, go to hell. Seriously. Don't come out of the woodwork for fifty dollars and be so sacrin sweet. I ran into her the other day and it was all I could do not to mention the fact that she could forget me falling for her crap twice. I was oh-so-nice, which felt fake, since inside I'm thinking about how she's dying to ask me to write her the check on the spot. Kind thought? No. Glad I'm on the Bitching Board and relatively anonymous? You betcha!

A

KBecks
09-12-2007, 09:40 AM
You're not a fool. You had no idea this was coming, and now you just need to tell her no and move on. I'm sorry she turned out to be the equivalent of a cell phone hawker at the mall when you were set up to expect friendship.

Hugs,
Karen