I'm going to do something drastic

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

It seems like Dh just doesn't notice me anymore. He's always too tired for much of anything. He comes home and we have dinner,then spend a little time with the children and get them off to bed and come downstairs and then....he falls asleep. Every night. There's rarely conversation,or getting to watch a movie together.
If we try to watch a show together he falls asleep during it. He goes on and on about how he's convinced the world will end before the century is over blah,blah,blah. But he just doesn't realize how lucky and blessed we are,it's like it just totally goes over his head. He complains about his job even though it's a great one and says he wants to do something else and if it wasn't for me and the kids he'd have left this company by now (yeah,that makes me feel great hun).
Let's not even go into grownup activities because I've forgotten what they are. I feel unattractive,and worse still-that my husband just doesn't need me or notice me anymore. I swear I could go up the street and get my freak on with the mechanic that always flirts with me and he wouldn't care at all.
I know that's probobly not true,but it sure feels like it these days.

[kozachka]

(((Hugs))). It's not you. Sounds like you husband is too tired from work and is possibly sick. Maybe even depressed. I feel very tired most nights, working 75-80 these past 4-5 weeks, so I can relate. Anything other than sleep sounds like a waste of time. DH let me know he is unhappy so I am making a real effort to compensate whenever I can including week-ends. You need to have the talk with your DH.

And why not get yourself a pedi-mani and/or go shopping for a new outfit and go out dancing with your girlfriends to steal glances from other guys? Makes you instantly feel attractive.

[gatorsmom]

Sounds like your DH is depressed. But really, I truly believe there is nothing YOU can do to make someone else happy. They have to pull themselves out of their funk.

As for you- YES! Absolutely do something drastic! Go get a pedicure and buy yourself a new top or outfit. It doesn't have to be expensive, just a little time spent by yourself and a little treat. Or go out for a drink with your girlfriends. Or start a new activity (something that doesn't require homework). Usually, just a little me time perks me up enough to get me through the week.

And you know, I've noticed that when I'm feeling good and confident about myself, my DH notices that. I don't do it for him, but it seems to get his attention anyway.

Lisa
Mom to Gator July 2003
And Cha-Cha July 2005
and surprise! twins due 11/07!

[megs4413]

i'm so sorry. have you talked to him about this? could he be depressed?

[marit]

I agree with PP that it sounds like he's depressed. I don't agree that a manicure or a new shirt is going to make you feel better (is that the most drastic thing people can think about?). I don't have any specific suggestion for you because I don't know what YOU really really want. There are other ways to feel fulfilled that do not include other men. Think what would make you really really happy.

I feel for you very much I was in a similar situation for a long time.