Suggestions for Mom's who will have two under two

[cricketnmatt]

My husband and I love your book! In fact it is very well-used from our first daughter who is now 13 months.

I am now expecting our second chid in August, and the two children will be 19 months apart. I was thinking- "Wow it would be great if the book covered a small section on what is necessary to have if you have two under two, or even a place here on the message boards." Just suggestions for even more money saving tips.

They say you save 27% when you have the second child, because you have most of the stuff. However, we would love to save even more than that. We would love to know is it absolutely necessary to buy a the huge honking double stroller, or could we get buy with a Baby Bjorn (for the youngest), and a lightweight stroller for the oldest? Should you buy a second crib? etc.

Crystal
EDD 08-03

[brubeck]

Just some thoughts from my end. I just had a baby in December, and he is 25 months younger than my daughter.

I don't know about your older child, but my daughter is quite tall. She will likely be over the 35 pound limit most strollers have before my new son is 6 months old. Therefore she physically will not be able to use the stroller when he outgrows the Baby Bjorn. So by then I would have to transition her to walkiong alongside me anyhow. I am also looking into one of those things that hooks onto the back of the stroller so the older child can stand.

I have been doing one in the stroller/shopping cart and one in the Baby Bjorn for a few weeks now and it works pretty well. The only problem is lifting my toddler in and out of carsetas and shopping carts while wearing the Bjorn, but it's not that much more difficult than doing these things while 8 months pregnant!

We did get a 'loaner' used double stroller from a friend, but we have not yet used it. The BB and old stroller are just more convenient right now.

I was (and am) super worried about my daughter being jealous towards the new baby, so we made an effort to phase her out of things we knew the baby would need a couple of months before the birth. When I was 4 months pregnant we switched her to a big girl bed. When I was 5 months pregnant we bought her a forward facing carseat and took the Roundabout out of the car. When I was 6 months pregnant I took away a bunch of the smaller, more baby appropriate toys she never played with anymore. When the baby is 2 months (in a couple of weeks) we are going to take away the high chair. This way the items are gone for a few months before the baby uses them and she forgets that they used to be 'hers'. This has saved us from buying another crib or high chair (or set of toys).

The one thing we did have to buy was (as stated above) another carseat. This can't be avoided if children have to be in carseats until age 3 or 4. We will have to get a second booster too since our state requires children to be in boosters until age 7.

Clothes can be re-used too, except where a gender change makes a difference. I am also re-using my breast pump, and the bottles, etc. that came with it, although I will probably 'splurge' on new Baby Bjorn bibs and Avent sippy cups for the younger child since the old ones are pretty beaten up from their stint with my daughter. Spoons, dishes, etc. could also be re-used on the younger child if necessary. And of course I am still using the same diaper bag!

We moved the changing table into the new baby's room at about the same time we took the crib out of my daughter's room. So even though it's the baby's room, my daughter was used to going in there for diaper changes for months before the baby even showed up. But this way we didn't have to set up a new changing table area.

That's all I can think of right now, any other items you want to know about?

[cricketnmatt]

Thank you for your post! I love picking the brains of mothers who have two under two and finding out what worked for them.

My daughter is quite petite (25% for height, and 40% for weight), she managed to actually fit in her infant car seat for the entire 12 months. I for sure thought she would outgrow it at 6 months like the rest of children I knew.

You must be in Washington St?! That's where we live, and they are the only state right now that requires by law that children 7 and under be in some type of child restraint system. We went ahead and turned Emma to forward facing after her 12 mos appt- she was screaming for it. We found a seat that acts as a 5 pt harness restraint and then when the child outgrows that converts to a booster belt positioner. We are going to try and reuse the infant seat (but leave it in the car), if it doesn't fit in the outboard position then we are going to get a convertible car seat, as it will be hard for me to carry an infant seat and chase my daughter. :) I stopped carrying the infant seat when she was almost 2 months old- just too much to manage (except from our house to the car and back), and used the BB exclusively (up until she was about 10 months old).

Because it would not have been economical for us to buy a house in Seattle, as we will only be here for 3 years, we are renting an apartment. So our dd and #2 will share a room- it is a very large room. When my hubby finishes his training at UW and we get settled in a house somewhere down the road, the children will have their own room.

We are going to buy new nipples, and even though I will be breastfeeding, we will probably do the "occasional" bottle a bit more often with this one. I have a double electric that I will use again. We have quite a bit of gender neutral clothes, so those will get reused. As far as sippy cups, utensils, and the sort, we will probably buy a couple more and/or replace the Avent sippy nipples we have.

Our biggest dilemma right now is whether or not to do the double stroller or not. I hear so many people with two kids who have one, but you are the first mom I have run into that has done the BB and single stroller combo to start. I was happy to hear that it worked! Our main concern is our huge stroller now has a hard time fitting into the trunk of our car, what makes us think a double stroller will fit any better- I like the compact Peg Perego, but it's a bit out of our price range. :)

Thank you so much for your advice even if it was some of the same things I was thinking of. It was great to see that the ideas I am having work for someone else.

Crystal
EDD#2 08-03

[brubeck]

Actually I'm in California, and they also require the booster seats to age 7. But you're right, most states do not require booster seats at all.

You're right, the double stroller is a big cash expenditure, and in our case because my daughter is so tall we might never get the use out of it that the $200 to $300 outlay would demand. I have been to the grocery store a few times now with one in the Bjorn and one in the cart and that has worked for me too. My husband also helps me when we are out together.

Our neighbors did lend us an OLD Combi Twinstar (stadium style) and let me tell you, it's like pushing a bus in comparison to my lightweight single stroller. We tried it out this weekend just walking to the park and it was awful. My newborn cried in the bassinet back part and my daughter wanted to sit in the back once she saw the baby there. Of course the back wasn't big enough for her, so we ended up carrying her home on Daddy's shoulders and I used the BB for my son. Sigh. Just goes to show you what a waste it would have been for us to buy something like that.

I suppose that if you really decided you wanted a double stroller you could look around the used and consignment stores. Or on EBay. But don't spend a lot unless you're SURE you want it. But my advice would still be to try the single stroller and BB and if it isn't working for you THEN buy the double. It's worth waiting to save that much money.

[wendy03060]

I totally agree! I am very experienced in early childhood and yet was suprised by how taxing two so close in age can be. And how different it is going from one to two children. I know this thread is a couple months old, but here is our experience.

Cribs--Bought a second one. Liked the idea of having both kids confined for safety reasons. Also as a 'last resort' in emergency situations. (Gotta plan ahead when you're outnumbered by the babies!) Allowed me to rest more soundly, as well. Even had to use a crib tent for safety for the older one, but it was well worth it.

Transportation--Our oldest was a very late walker (First step at 15 months, but she still an amature at 20 months), so I could have not survived without the Easy Comfort Plus Carrier by Evenflo. Liked it much better than the Baby Bjorn we had borrowed from a friend. We also invested in a Graco Duo Glider tandem stroller. Still using it at times and we are at ages two and four! (Our oldest is pretty light-weight.) Also keep an unbrella stroller handy, just in case we need it.

Extra Accessories--We ended up purchasing an exer-saucer, second bouncy seat (so I didn't have to drag the one I had up and down stairs) and a playpen. Used the playpen quite a bit. (Found that the Pack and Play that we borrowed from a friend just wasn't as roomy.) I guess we ended up purchasing all of these extras because I had to leave the second one to play on his own a little more often at a younger age. Not only did he need someplace to 'be' but had to be protected from a sibling who was still pretty much a baby herself.

Jealousy--I think it was much less than if they had been three or more years apart. Our oldest definitely knew things were different and even rebelled a bit, but never seemed to be able to connect her unhappy feelings to the baby.

Baby Gates--Never used one with the first, but with two they were a must. Once the younger one can move around, they can go opposite directions. If there's nothing to stop them, you're sunk!

All in all, two in less than two years is definately a handfull but, as Hubby said, "We've got a system, let's just go with it!" So we did. Not easy, but certainly an adventure. Now that my oldest's friends are getting little brothers and sisters, I am especially glad that we are past all of that and ready to move on to the preschool years.