Obnoxious new members

[Marisa6826]

Any rules here about common courtesy? I can't remember if we all agreed to a basic code of ethics/values.

There's a new member here who's sole purpose seems to write obnoxious/nasty responses to peoples' threads.

Just wondering

-m

[Dcclerk]

Marisa,

Did you get any answer on this? Not_a_Nice_Person might want to review that code. I hate that some of the nicest people on this board feel that they have to defend themselves to the rudeness of this person.

[alandenisefields]

Just an FYI: We have updated the acceptable usage policy for the boards to reflect a new "no flame" policy. Here it is:

NO FLAMING POLICY: We created these boards so parents could discuss baby products, issues and other parenting topics. Please keep these discussions CIVIL. That means treating other users with respect . . . debating the issue, not the person. Any user who personally attacks another user (name calling, etc) will result in their posts deleted and account terminated. Let's all just get along!

--
Alan & Denise Fields, authors
BABY BARGAINS * BABY 411 * TODDLER BARGAINS * BRIDAL BARGAINS * CYBERBRIDE * YOUR NEW HOUSE
Web: www.windsorpeak.com.
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 303-442-8792
Address: Windsor Peak Press, 436 Pine Street, Boulder, CO 80302

--
The readers speak! Check out our new message boards for our books at:
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php

--
We have a brand new book for parents! It's called Baby 411---think of it as the ultimate FAQ for new moms and dads! Check it out here: http://www.Baby411.com

[deborah_r]

I sure hope this doesn't mean that the people who responded to the obnoxious poster have been locked out!!! There are 3 people in the baby shower thread with deleted messages who are regular posters and wonderful people, and I'm sure they were only trying to defend against this person who was posting only to insult someone.

[egoldber]

For whatever bizarre reason, there are people who get a kick out of being "trolls", joining message boards for the sole reason of being hateful and stirring up controversy. When these obvious troublemakers show up, the best thing to do is ignore them and send an e-mail to Alan and Denise. By responding to their posts, you're giving them exactly what they want.

Please don't feed the trolls! :)

[Momof3Labs]

I'm not locked out! My message, in fact, was to just ignore that post - that I had already reported it to A&D.

[alandenisefields]

No one has had their account deleted as a result of that post; we just warned the poster to not do it again!

Alan & Denise

[McQ]

Thanks Deborah. I'm not locked out. But my message was deleted. And I was sticking up for Kathryn (SeekerMage). But like Beth suggests, I'll do better to ignore next time. And hopefully there's not a next time!

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[deborah_r]

Whew!!!!

That's very good to know!

[Rachels]

I saw a refrain on MDC that I like:

Troll, troll, go away
No one here is going to play.

Too bad we don't have a basic eyeroll emoticon. :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Not a Bobblehead]

How about "warning" those who posted mean and spite filled responses to the deleted post? Or deleting those posts? If you want to have a board for "Bitching" and complain about your family and friends - why is it flaming to say I disagree? Can we only agree with the endles diatribes against in-laws? I understand the urge to complain about the in-laws, but I thought the baby shower post was out of line. I will try to be more delicate in my criticism, but am shocked by the attitude and response of the board members. All I can think is sometimes the truth hurts.

[KathyO]

You were harshly critical and judgemental to another poster; some folks were harshly critical and judgemental back. It seems a bit late to complain that you were not nicely treated. To call someone else's post "out of line", and yours "the truth" doesn't do a lot to encourage thoughtful discussion between equals. Which is what we are, in theory, here for. I look forward to getting to know you better as a fellow imperfect parent. I have other sources for harsh criticism when I feel the need.

Best,

KathyO

[jojo2324]

Completely abandoning my theory to leave well (or bad) enough alone, I find it ironic you think the truth hurts. Why bother to try and defend yourself then?

And perhaps another problem people are facing with your posts is that you seem to only want to provide criticism, as in, "I will be more delicate in my..." We're here primarily to contribute and support, not criticize. Introducing yourself to a community in that fashion ain't gonna win you many allies.

[jojo2324]

LOL, can we add that to the list?? Right after my pig-faced, chubby cheeked emoticon, for all the cravings I fall prey to. :9

[liya]

See i never got to read the Baby Shower post completely so i cant talk about that...What i can say is some coments were out of line..Like the one about someones daughter escaping from Sesame Street..Im sorry but with all the compliments the post had THAT in particular was a WTF comment in my opinion. I dont like anyone offending my tastes nor do i like anyone critizing my child or how my child looks. As far as i can tell NO ONE does. So why go to these extremes?..I mean if you THOUGHT it looked like a Sesame Street outfit(which to me it didnt but thats just me) and you SAW that the poster was obviously HURT by a similar comment from a family memeber why not just KEEP IT TO YOURSELF and not post THAT SENTENCE in particular...

This "I let you know I'm an attorney so you can vent away at how evil lawyers are and provide you another outlet." Is another comment i found particularly hysterical. Your an attorney great, excellent...As an trial attorney you decided to base your defense on your proffesion to explain the tone of your coments and why they were judged or might have been judged as FLAMY by ppl who DO NOT have "thick skin". To me that is just completely irrelevant to the matter. There are many attorney's(and yes some are trial attorney's) here I am great friends with atleast 3 of them and IRL know plenty of them(I am a Law Student)...NONE has responded to a post like you have.

We come here for advice and support. Not to be offended or critisized or embarassed by other members..I think this all lies between lines of respect we all should have for each other, each others children and family. If you dont agree with a particular poster, great post you opinoin a little more delicately..Opinions that dont cross the line and become disrespecfull are more than welcome.

I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you didnt mean your posts to come out that way..Aside from everything a coordial introduction. I look foward to getting to know you and welcome to the boards...

[Not a Bobblehead]

In case you didn't notice, I also complimented the poster on her very cute child. In stating the obvious(that the cute kid looked like they were from Sesame Street), (to which you apparently agree) I thought the original poster might not take her in-laws' comments as insults and see instead that the outfit did indeed resemble Ernie's clothing and that maybe her in-laws were just using humor. Your concept that poster are just seeking support are discounted by how mean spirited and bitter many of these posts are - generally railing against in-laws and saying terrible things about them. Sure, in-laws can be annoying and be hurtful. But they can also be harmless or clueless and just be stating the obvious (Ernie).

And to answer some other posters, I am not a troll but did join (not to get my kicks) because of what an awful and I feel selfish attitude the original baby shower poster had about a shower being held in her honor. I was also appalled that no one seemed to have a problem with the me, me, me attitude and so I posted my opinion. Yes, it was sarcastic and I could have been more diplomatic - but I felt strongly that the attitude was wrong and shouldn't be condoned or supported.

[Marisa6826]

Again, it's not necessarily about you making your opinions known, but the manner in which you did it.

You jump in, make comments about old threads (without any concern for the thread owner's previous history that you may be unaware of) and then disappear again - without introductions, without mention of your family or children. Our first encounter with you is a negative one. How do you expect a cordial welcome with that attitude? The other members here have no experience with you and don't know that it was just sarcasm. Instead it came off as a newbie with a nasty attitude.

This is not the way to win friends and influence people.

If you are who you indeed claim to be, then you are welcome. If you've come here to do nothing other than make waves and ruffle feathers, then perhaps you should reconsider your motivations and future postings.

I certainly hope that it is only a simple case of stepping off on the wrong foot.

-m