baby gifts for permie in icu

[cara1]

My friend just delivered her baby at 28 weeks. Baby is intubated in the NICU. I feel like it would be inappropriate to give a baby gift at this point. Should I just wait until he's out of the woods & give something after they bring him home? What do you all think? Any parents out there of premies like this?

[jojo2324]

I agree, it is a tough situation...I remember seeing someone shopping for a preemie, and she bought him a beanie baby to have in the hospital. I recall a few years ago something about NICUs putting them in incubators. I guess it's something to snuggle against? I don't know what hospital policy is about items in incubators. (They must allow small things, right?) Has anyone else heard about this?

[Momof3Labs]

I have a friend who delivered twins at 24w. They are 9w old now and doing well, considering. Here are some suggestions that I received for gifts from other former NICU moms:

Preemie outfits (moms with babies in the NICU enjoy dressing them up when they can - make sure that the outfit snaps up, doesn't zip, for wires and tubes)

Blankets (hang over the isolette to give some privacy)

A book about preemies, to help mom and dad understand the medical jargon

Small stuffed animals (they can be used to guide wires and tubes around the baby)

Childrens' books to read to the baby, especially "classics" (my friend said that she felt like she was babbling all the time to the babies until she started to read to them)

They will spend a lot of time at the hospital for the next month or so - do they need any help with childcare (for older children) or errands, cooking, housecleaning, driving them to the hospital? I'm sure an offer to help would be greatly appreciated.

I think that it would be appropriate to give a gift now - after all, she did have a baby and that is cause for celebration, even if the baby didn't arrive as planned (I feel that the same goes for a baby with birth defects - I'd still give a gift to celebrate the new life). And at 28w, the baby has a 90-95% chance of surviving with no serious problems - although they do have a rough month or two ahead of them.

Oh, and my friend loved the clothes, handmade blankets and little toys I sent her!

If I remember any other gift suggestions, I'll come back and post them. Hope this helps!!

Lori
due 10/12 w/ #1

[Momof3Labs]

I went back to check on other suggestions, and here they are:

A journal for mom to keep

Disposable cameras to leave at the hospital - then, if mom and dad miss a Kodak moment, the nurses can snap the picture for them

The book "Your Premature Baby" by Frank Manginello

[twins r fun]

My twins were 33 weekers and stayed in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks and 5 weeks. I think it is appropriate to give a small gift now and then the "real" baby gift once the baby comes home. A special stuffed animal (very small, though) was nice and our hospital did allow us to put them in the isolette. I mostly dressed the boys in the preemie clothes that the hospital provided because they had a good selection-I could have used our own though. However, the babies are normally wrapped in so many blankets to help maintain body temp that you really don't get to see much of their outfits anyway. I really, really like the idea of the disposable camera to leave at the hospital and maybe a special picture frame too. Depending on your friend-the journal is a good idea-I wish I'd kept one. AS the time comes closer for the baby to come home you could get her some of the more useful gifts she will need later-for right now go with something sentimental. From my experience with a baby in the NICU, you're just thinking of getting through the next few weeks and not really thinking about or caring what you will need when the baby comes home.

[ScrapNancy]

Mom and Dad are probably really stressed out right now - probably don't feel like celebrating. So maybe a card with a note so they know you are thinking about them and maybe a small token if it's something they can use right now. Then I would wait until the baby comes home and you visit the baby for the first time. Then Mom and Dad are likely to be in a more celebratory mood and a gift would definitely add to the occasion! If you'd like to make another gesture perhaps if you are a very close friend there is something you can do to help them since they are spending so much time at the NICU I am sure. Perhaps you could mow their lawn, bring them a hot meal in the slow cooker, etc., something to take care of them so they can devote all their energy to their baby!

Nancy

[KathyO]

My folks had a baby who, after all the treatments available, still didn't live. They say that they appreciated those friends who did things to make life easier for them (cooking for them so they didn't have to live totally on hospital cafeteria food - uck!) and who treated their child like someone worth celebrating, even if it was likely that he wouldn't have as long a life as most others. I think the camera and journal ideas are excellent, the beanie babies too. I hope your friend and her baby do well. Thank heavens for modern medical technologies!

Best,

KathyO

[laura_winckler]

I have a friend who delivered her first child at 30 weeks. He was in NICU for a 6 weeks and then he died. She said that the best gift that they got was a prepaid phone card so that they could call their family long distance from the hospital. Her teacher buddies also took up a collection to help pay for hospital parking, which is very expensive in some big city hospitals. I second the idea of the disposable camera. She has a picture of her first child up on the mantle with the baby pictures of her second (healthy) child. Hold off on the baby items until you see what's going to happen. Then you can help out with preemie diapers and clothes.

Good luck to the family!
Laura
SAHM to Eric (9/5/00) and Robin (9/3/02)