Out -of -practice mom needs help

[kathsmom]

Hi, everyone! This is a LONG post, but I have a few questions and need your advice please! It's been 6 years since I have had a newborn and I need a refresher course from all of you, especially if you have a boy, and your baby has older siblings.

1) How do you protect yourself during diaper changes with a boy so that you don't get "showered"? We are using a cloth diaper over the area, but he usually is kicking his legs and screaming like a banshee, so it is difficult to keep the cloth covering that vital area.

2) I am considering switching to disposable bottles - DS is formula-fed. Is there a difference in the Playtex nursers? I saw the regular kind that's been around for years, and a newer looking one (can't remember what it is called - maybe Playtex Premium?). I had used Avent (donated by my SIL), but the bottle leaked and DS had leakage around his mouth with the nipple, plus he curls his upper lip in when he sucks and was getting a red, irritated spot due to it rubbing against the dome of the nipple. We have also tried the evenflo classic with sensitive response nipple, and he does better with that, as far as leaking.

3)Are there supposed to be bubbles in the bottle when he sucks? Avent website says that bubbles in the bottle mean that the nipple is working properly. I sometimes saw bubbles, and sometimes I didn't. I almost always see bubbles with the evenflo. I thought bubbles meant that the baby could get gassy! DS does not burp well - he holds it in and may not burp until after a nap. Sometimes I hear his little stomach rolling and he has had some bouts of passing gas lately. He also gets the hiccups when he eats - is that a sign of too much gas? The ped. said that some babies are just hiccup babies and that it would pass - he did hiccup a lot when he was in me!

4) For disposable bottles - if I use powdered formula - he takes RTF right now - can I go ahead and put the water in the bag when we go out for errands/trips and have it ready to add the powder? Or do I need to carry the water separately and assemble the bottle, put in water, and add the powder?

5) For those of you who have older children, how did you help them adjust? DD loves her little brother, but I feel that I am seriously neglecting her. DH and I are trying to spend some time with her by herself, but it is a little difficult right now. DH is starting to travel with his job again - he couldn't travel for about 6 weeks due to my being on bedrest before DS was born - and I will be left with a newborn and a 6 year old to take care of. I don't want her to feel neglected.

6) Does anyone have experience with the book "On Becoming Babywise"? I have several friends who have used the book and highly recommend it for getting the baby on a schedule and sleeping through the night. Any opinions on other books that you can recommend for getting him scheduled/sleeping through the night?

Sorry this is SO long, but I really need some advice. Thanks in advance for any help you can give!

Toni - mom to Katherine (5/10/96) and Andrew (9/23/02)

[candybomiller]

I can answer #4. When we're going out, I put the water in the bottle (we use playtex disposables) and when I'm ready to feed him, just add the powdered formula. Much easier than worrying about keeping the bottle cold.

Sorry I can't answer more of your questions.

Candy
-SAHM to Matthew Nicholas, born 5/22/02

[mama2be]

Kathy,

I really shouldn't comment since I have no experience YET...but wanted to say that I was at a party the other evening with about 25 gals in the neighborhood and three of them swore by the "babywise" book. One was a grandmother who got upset at her daughter at first for waking the baby and doing stuff out of the norm, and now grandma was praising her daughter and the book for its outcome.

ONe of my girlfriends recommended "The baby whisperer" which I think is similiar but nt as drastic. I personally saw the writter of The baby whisperer on TV and liked her a lot...I will probably buy both and pick and choose. I hope others answer so I too can learn from them.

Regarding gas and bottles...have you looked at the Dr Brown's bottles...I am taking such notes from these boards and it appears to me from feed back that these are great bottles, tho still am curious which nipple is best for them.

I look forward to the answers from your questions...

[Shirale]

Hello!
You sound like you are doing just great! I am not a major expert when it comes to formula, but I have always given my DD at least one bottle(now we are up to 3 with a total of 12 ounces)a day and I started out with the disposables....we used the playtex, they gave her major gas. We switched to Avent (we have never had a leaking problem) and use the newborn nipples in the 4 oz bottles (she holds them nicely and never (still) takes more than 4 oz at a time. She has always been a pretty gassy kid, although it has gotten much much better- and in terms of some kids just being hiccupers- it is the truth!! She always hiccuped in me (which I loved!) and still does! Almost every time she laughs! I don't hink it bothers her and when I give her something to drink (bottle or nurse) it goes right away. Anyhow, each baby is so different, just experiment with bottles and you'll find one that he likes! My dd also curled her lip when drnking...Avent has disposables, btw.
Good luck!!!! HtH,

[suzska]

Toni, I'll do my best to answer some of these.

1) I use the pad on a dresser for diaper changes, so I'm standing to Evan's side, and not by his feet. I can't remember what kind of set-up you have. Evan's head is on my left-side and his feet are to the right. I place the cloth diaper (folded in half 3 times) across his waist. I grab his feet with my left-hand (keeping a finger between his ankles so that they don't smack each other). I change the diaper with my right hand. There is a strap on the changing pad, but I've never found it effective at keeping him in place.

2) Can't help you much with the disposbale bottles. When we did use a disposable system while on vacation, I used the Playtex bottles and liners, with the Evenflo adaptor so that I could use the Gerber NUK nipples Evan was used to. All I can say is keep trying one of each until you find something that works for him and you.

3) We used Similac RTF for the first 10 months or so. There were always a few bubbles in the bottles. You have to shake up the formula, so there are always bubbles, IMO. We used the standard Gerber bottles with the silicone ortho nipples. Evan had hiccups all the time when I was pregnant, and for quite a while after he was born. They could last 20 minutes or better. Eventually they just went away. It's not something you notice when it stops happening--just one day you realize it isn't happening. Evan did have reflux for the first 6 months or so. I think it was just Evan, and not necessarily air in the bottles. Once they can sit-up and their digestive systems have developed more, the reflux-type stuff usually stops (except in the most severe cases that require medication, etc.). Evan also would never burp--I tried all the different burping positions, and he just wouldn't burp for me. I would try to keep him upright for 15 minutes or so after a feeding before putting him in his crib.

4) When we were using powder formula, we've done both. When we were on vacation, I would carry a 24oz. bottle of water, all the disposable stuff, and formula measured out in one of those containers. I then measured out the water and added the powder. I always had trouble getting it to mix completely, but since this was about 2 weeks before we were switching to whole milk, I wasn't too concerned with Evan's formula intake for the week we were on vacation. Up until the time we were ready to go on vacation, we were still using the RTF. When we came back home, and had formula leftover, I would measure the water into the Gerber bottles (non-disposable) we had always used, and carry how many of those I needed with me (with the formula measured in the container).

5) Can't help you with #5. Evan's still an only child. :-)

6) There was a discussion a few months ago on this forum about the Babywise book (http://www.windsorpeak.com/dcforum/DCForumID30/31.html and http://www.windsorpeak.com/dcforum/DCForumID30/77.html). Some people are very against it. Some people love it. Like everything else, you take away from it what you want, I think. I personally have never seen the book. Evan has always been on his own schedule--he would pretty much eat every 3 hours like clockwork. Maybe it was every 2 at first, but I know for a long time it was every 3. We never did anything special to get him to sleep through the night. He did it on his own around 10 weeks. I woke up at 2 o'clock one morning to realize that Evan was still sleeping. I of course then lay awake the rest of the time waiting for him to get up! When Evan was hungry, we fed him. When he was tired, he slept. I'm not very good at rigid schedules. And just when I think I have Evan's schedule figured out, he changes it!

Hope I've helped a little! (Edited to add a few links to previous discussions.)

[ct]

I haven't had my little boy yet (due 11/8), but most of my girlfriends have boys and they all do as you are doing, TRY to hold a cloth diaper over while making the change. Also, they suggested making sure to 'point him down' to prevent leaks. I too used the Avent bottles and had the bubbles on occasion. I'm sure it is just the evening out of the pressure - as baby sucks the bottle, he's creating a mini-vacuum and since the non-disposable bottles can't 'collapse' like the disposable inserts, the bubbles come when the suction is broken and the pressure inside the bottle must adjust to match the pressure outside (thus the bubbles). I'm no physicist though :)!! I don't believe that the bubbles themselves will cause any gas problems. I did not have any leaking problems with the bottles, though I have heard that you can over-tighten them and that can cause leaking. You just want to tighten them until they are snug, not until they don't move anymore (I also think this helps with the bubbles - I believe that the pressure that builds up in the bottle as baby sucks should be relieved through the cap itself, thus not so many bubbles - jeez maybe I should check out Avent's website before DS arrives so I can refamiliarize myself with these bottles :)!). Regarding the burping, I RARELY burped DD after the first couple of weeks. I tried at first, but she just didn't burp. One of the books I have stated that it is unnecessary to burp a baby (I'm sure that it isn't true for ALL babies though), so I stopped burping her and she never had any problems. I think some little ones just 'relieve' their pressure on their own time in their own way. She was also a major hiccupper (sp?)! For my DD (she's only 2YO though) I plan on getting her some books about being a 'big sister' and trying to have her 'help' me with the baby(even if it almost kills me like her 'helping' usually does!). Anyway, I hope some of that may help - sorry for the length. Best of luck to you...

ct

[luvbeinmama]

Okay, here's my two cents:

1) Try using baby washcloths. They are not as big as the diapers and don't get kicked off much. I used them with DS all the time and they worked great.

2) Sorry, can't help you with this one.

3) Don't worry about the bubbles. Unless you have the Playtex VentAire the air has to get back into the bottle through the nipple, which means... through the formula, thus making bubbles. DS had a hard time burping (although, I was nursing him for the first 8 months), and I would go through a routine of 4-5 burping positions after each feeding. Sometimes he would burp, sometimes he wouldn't. You can help gas move through by laying him on his back & moving his legs up & down (bicycle style, or together).

4) Sorry, can't help with this one either.

5) Oh, that's a tough one. I'm having my 2nd next Tuesday, and although DS knows sister is coming soon, I don't know how things are going to go yet. I would love to see other opinions on this one.

6) Yes, I did use the Christian version of the Babywise book, and it worked really well for DS. I have to say this, though: I have seen many articles (supplied by my SIL's lactation consultant) that really bash this book. But, as I was reading the articles, I noticed that each of the mothers who had real problems with this method had babies that just would not adjust to a strict 3-hour schedule (perhaps they needed a 2-hour schedule, or whatever), and the moms would not listen to their babies cues. They just tried to "tough it out", be legalistically regimented to the schedule, and ended up with malnourished babies. When I read the book, I remember seeing several times where they specifically said, feed the baby if he/she is hungry, and you CAN be flexible. If you decide to use this book (and, again, it worked WONDERFULLY for me, and I will be using the same method with DD), look for the underlying principles in the book, and if your son does not do well on the 3 hour schedule, try a different time-span, be flexible, and most of all, listen to your baby's cues. If you do this, I think you will do well with the scheduled method. If you cannot (or will not) adjust the schedule to meet the situation, this is the wrong method for you.

Hope this helps you! Good luck! :)

[egoldber]

Hmm, here's my 2 cents.

1) I have a girl, so no help there!

2) I used the Healthflow disposables and loved them. I used them with the Playtex drop-in liners. I LOVE those drop-ins. They are so convenient. Target, Safeway and other stores also make generic versions of these as well.

3) If your son is sleeping well and isn't irritated by the gas, then I wouldn't worry about bubbles or no bubbles. If he gets gassy, try adding Mylicon drops (or a generic version) to the bottle before feeding.

4) I always had difficulty mixing formula directly in a disposable bottle. I used the the free cooler bag that came with the free diaper bag from the hospital. I would just put a pre-made bottle in there with the icepack. It kept a bottle cool all day. I also never warmed bottles, so I never had to worry about warming them up either.

5) This is my first, so no help there.

6) I hope I don't offend anyone here, but I guess it's probably no secret on these boards that I am NOT a Babywise fan. Ezzo and his advice is considered very controversial, even in mainstream parenting literature. Much of his advice on feeding young infants is directly contrary to American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations. Now, in reality, most people who read his books do so with a grain of salt and use good judgment. I have many friends who swear by his book and have happy healthy well-adjusted kids. But there have been documented cases of infants with "failure to thrive" because their very well-intentioned parents were following the Babywise book. Ezzo is not a trained medical professional nor a trained child development expert. Personally, I think there are far better books out there written by qualified people or organizations. Three books that really helped me were Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child", Burton White's "The First Three Years of Life" and "What to Expect the First Year".

But to be honest, I haven't followed the advice in ANY book word for word. No one does. You pick and choose what suits you and your personal philosophy. It was through no direct action on my part that Sarah started sleeping through the night (12-6) at about 8 weeks. I have tried to follow a routine with Sarah, but have found it almost impossible to maintain a "schedule". When I tried (using the Baby Whisperer, sorry, not a fan of her either) we were miserable, so I stopped and just followed my heart. Babies sleep through the night when they are developmentally ready to. Some are ready earlier than others. Where I thought that the books I mentioned above were helpful was to teach me how to NOT create bad habits or sleep issues.

Just my 2 cents,

[kathsmom]

Ladies,

Thank you so much for taking the time to post and answer my questions. I really appreciate it!

We have still been switching between the Evenflo classic bottles and the 4 oz. Avent bottles. It seems that one day DS does better with one and the next day he does better with the other. A friend of mine loaned me her Playtex nursers and I bought new nipples the other day, but haven't tried it out yet. I also bought one of the Healthflow reusable bottles, but haven't tried it out either. I used those with DD with no problems. I could not find them during my pregnancy with DS, but they have re-emerged recently at Publix grocery store (now they are made by Munchkin Inc.). Beth, I had no idea that Healthflow made disposables - where did you find them?

I am getting the hang of the diaper changing with a boy now!! :)

DH is going to keep DS on Saturday so that DD and I can spend some "girl time" together. We will be getting her costume and picking out one for her little brother too. She is very excited about spending time together.

I have started reading the Babywise book. A friend loaned it to me with another program that Ezzo wrote called "Preparation for Parenting". Luvbeinmama, is this the Christian version that you used? Or did you use the "Growing Kids God's Way" program? I have some friends from church who used the Growing Kids program and loved it. I have also started re-reading my "What to Expect the First Year" book.

Thanks for all the ideas, suggestions, advice.

Toni - mom to Katherine (5/19/96) and Andrew (9/23/02)

[egoldber]

I bought my Healthflow disposable bottles this past spring at BRU and Baby Depot. They were being clearanced out along with the rest of the J&J branded Healthflow stuff (I assume in preparation for the new Munchkin line-up). I have seen new resuable Healthflow, but I have yet to see new disposables. That would be too bad, because I think these are great bottles.

HTH,

[luvbeinmama]

Yes, "Preparation for Parenting" was what we used. We got it from a friend at church. As far as I can tell, it is exactly the same method as the Babywise book, but they try to reference the bible and biblical principals in it. The Babywise book removed all the biblical references in order to appeal to a wider market. Do keep in mind that you need to be able to be flexible with this system. I generally agree with their ideas and their approach, but they are NOT baby experts beyond their own experience. They wrote the book at the urging of their own children who wanted advice from them. And as far as I know the bible doesn't say how to raise your children. I'm not trying to discourage you from reading the book or using their program... far from it. Just wanted you to be totally informed. Lactation consultants, the AAP, and other demand-feeding advocates are totally against this program. But it does work for a lot of people. Personally, I don't think I could handle some of the demand feeding or co-sleeping issues I've seen my friends go through that this program headed off early. And I think CIO is a perfectly reasonable thing. I know a lot of people on this board disagree with me, and that's fine. I figure, it's best to go with what is best for you and your family and what is comfortable and works for you and your family. Also, I just recently glanced through the Ezzo's toddler program and thought some of their methods to be too harsh. I stopped the Ezzo program after his nap schedule changed and he no longer would fit into that nice neat schedule. Now I just wing it.

Sorry this was so long, hope all that helped you somewhat. If you have any questions, just ask. I will be off the board for a while after Monday as I'm having DD on Tuesday via c/s, but I'll be back as soon as I can. Good Luck!