Happiest Mom on the Block!

[akc]

Hi all -

For those expecting or have a baby under 3 months, I love, love, love (and loved now, in past tense, I guess) the Happiest Baby on the Block! I am by far the Happiest Mom on our Block. Now, all this may have been coincidence, but I doubt and anyway, I don't care b/c we felt happy in control the whole first three months of my daughter's, Maeve, life! :) :)

His theory that the baby needs a fourth trimester once born because he/she is not fully developed made a lot of sense to me! He recommends the 5 S's:
Swaddling
Sucking
Shushing
Swinging (or jiggling or bouncing)
and Side/Stomach (just for calming, not for sleeping)

We tried it the first night our daughter had a 4 pm crying spell and she stopped crying in - literally - 2 seconds! We NEVER had an uncontrollable crying spell after that in her entire first 3 months! And, the best part was that my hubby was an expert at the technique, so he could calm my daughter if she was worked up which meant they were more bonded and also meant that if I had a tough day and was exhausted, he could handle her. The most important thing we learned was to stay consistent with your soothing technique - most people panic and try different things - bouncing, the swing, rocking, etc. - when you've got to stick with one thing and they will calm. ;)

Anyway, it's not just about the "soothing" reflex - the sleeping part worked for us as well. His theory on this is that babies are all snuggly and warm in utero and hear your blood rushing through your viens and you talking, etc. Once they are born, we try to keep really quiet and stop swaddling too early so they feel vulnerable and too exposed. He also recommends a white noise machine or something that makes a continuous sound. Well, it worked so well for us. Maeve sleeps soundly for 12 hours at night since 3 months - 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. and takes three naps a day for a total of 4-5 hours (one a.m., one midday, one late afternoon). Now she is 4 months and is still swaddled when she sleeps. That sounds crazy, but she loves it and knows as soon as we wrap her that it's sleepytime. She can't roll, can't pull her pacifier out, and we don't have to worry about her winter temperature while sleeping (summer baby - had no idea that it would be so much more work when it got cold!) - all things that can make sleeping a challenge. It was like a whole other world when she started sleeping through the night at 3 mos and I really think the book helped.

Finally, we had the opportunity to meet Dr. Karp in Washington D.C. in September. He needed a baby for a tv segment on Fox and emailed us to see if he could take Maeve, my daughter, on the segment with him. (Hopefully, this is not her 15 minutes of fame.) But, Dr. Karp is a very nice, gentle pediatrician who has this innate sense of baby temperments. He showed us the correct swaddling technique (ours was getting loose) and really recommended the video which is great (we only read the book).

He also helped us b/c Maeve was still waking up for a 4 a.m. bottle at that point; he advised us to start to water it down and use only 3 oz of powder for 4 oz water, and then 2 oz for 4 oz, etc. because eventually she'd probably decide that it wasn't worth it to wake up. You'll never believe it, but within 4 days, she dropped that bottle.

I highly recommend this book over others for a newborn. It actually tells you what to do, instead of telling you what the problem is but NOT what to do (a la the Baby Whisperer). I promise - it sounds like a lot of things to do and some that are odd, but the technique really works, can be shared by both parents, and will really help you feel in control. He's coming out with the Happiest Toddler on the Block and said he'd email me when it's coming, so I'll let those other fans know!

Whew - hard to believe I'm at 4 months and that is experience! I was all over these boards for advice before Maeve was born! :)

Cheers!
Alexa
Mother of Maeve Mullady
DD born 7/6/02

[akc]

Hi - I just figured out how to do the picture thing, so here is my happiest baby on the block, Maeve, on Halloween! :)

[jojo2324]

I don't see your little girl!

[jojo2324]

Weird, as soon as my post showed up so did she! Beautiful :)

[akc]

Thank you, Gannon is adorable too! He looks like a jolly one! Isn't amazing how much joy they bring to your life?!

[akc]

Annette posted this on another topic, so I decided to put it here and keep the conversation going:

Alexa,
I'm so jealous! Sabrina is about 2 weeks older than Maeve and she's still waking up 2 to 4 times at night! What I can't understand is that she slept through the night since she was born but we had to wake her at night to feed her (our ped was very strict about that!).
At about 3.5 months, she began fussing during the night. Growth spurt, teething, time to add solids, all these thoughts went through our minds. We started her on cereal and at 4 mo. vegetables and fruits. She still would fuss! Then she got her first cold and couldn't breathe very well. Now, at almost 5 months, she's still not sleeping straight through the night!

What is your DD's feeding schedule? And, is she on solids yet? I found that Sabrina is drinking less formula when she has her solid food (which is at midday and evening). She eats 5 times a day: early morning, midday w/fruit or veg, afternoon, evening, and 11pm or 12 midnight.

We haven't eliminated the late night feeding yet because our ped said the baby needs over 30oz of formula a day. We still have to wake her up to feed her so late but she goes right back to sleep at that time.
The problems start at around 3 am, then 4, then 5, and so on! She goes back to sleep every time but we don't!
I have to add that she goes to sleep at around 9 pm at night and naps 3 to 4 times a day for about 30 min. to an hour each time.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Annette

[akc]

OK - Now it's weird that I'm answering, but hopefuly everyone will catch that the last post wasn't from me.

Well, to start, I think it's deadly to compare babies, right? B/c my daughter may be a great sleeper but she's shown little or no interest in rolling or sitting and she's well past time. She likes to stand (can actually push herself up from her knees) but not sit or roll. But, I'm not worried, so you shouldn't pull your hair out.

I guess that's tough with a lack of sleep. Here's my NON-PEDIATRICIAN, absolutely IMO thoughts. Remember to check other sources before you do anything. Also, did you read Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It is really informative (we saw it in action w/our neighbor's kids) and we really got the point that we should put Maeve down earlier (and know the signs of an overtired child). It's worth reading.

Anyway, Maeve is not on solids yet - still Similac Advance. She's really shown no interest in solids either and still has a very strong tongue "ejection" instinct (hubby's word for it). She eats 4 - 5 times a day, bottles between 6-8 oz: after she wakes, mid morning (usually after her morning nap, mid-day (before or after her big nap), mid-afternoon, and before bed (she goes for bath at 6:30 and is down and out by 7 or 7:30 at the latest). Sometimes, depending on her nap schedule she consolidates the morning and mid-day bottle. I'm amazed your daughter was on solids at 4 months (although I have a lot of friends who did start then), we'll probably hold out until 5-6 months if she shows no interest. So, unfortunately, I can't give you advice on the formula v. solids.

BUT, your pediatrician advice (which is from a much better source than me) that Sabrina has to have 30 oz of formula a day + solids sounds really strange to me! Even with her solids? That's a tremendous amount of calories a day! My daughter often doesn't make it to 30 oz a day on formula and that's all she's eating. And, she's at 100th percentile of height and weight, so it's not like she's not getting enough. It isn't that strange that originally you had to wake her up to feed her (we had to as well) b/c then they must get a certain number of calories to thrive, but my pediatrician has told us that at this point, they know how much they want to eat and will let you know. So, don't force them to eat (b/c they probably will and then it becomes habit.)

The habit part is what I'm wondering about with your sleep things. First of all, if ped ok'ed or you decided, I would absolutely eliminate the late night feeding. Sabrina's got to be ready to sleep for more than 6 hours at a time (that's what 9 to 3 is) with the amount of calories she's consumed during the day and especially if she's going right back to sleep. You can move up the amount of her last bottle and decrease the amount of that late night feeding. OR, if you want to keep the late night and try to get the 3 am to go first (which might be easier on your sleeping), do the same - bring down the amount of formula or try Dr. Karp's suggested method which was to put more water to formula powder and gradually decrease it. Eventually, Sabrina may (like Maeve did) decide it's just not worth waking up for.

It sounds like their might be a habit thing going on though. For about 2 weeks, Maeve would go to sleep for 8 hours but it was from 7:30 to 3:30 a.m. and then have that little bottle and then go back to sleep until 7:30 p.m. Obviously, we were exhausted by that (and annoyed). Dr.Karp advised us that he thought it sounded like a habit wake up. She woke up to find herself in her room, knew that she could get a little yummy food, and a snuggle if she got us up. So, first we worked on watering down the bottle and then we went to just giving her the pacifier if she woke up. Just pat her tummy and give her the pacifier, but don't pick her up. You're up anyway at this point, so if it doesn't work, you can still feed her, but it is a way to try to break the habit. If she's really hungry, you'll know and then can pick her up and feed her. If it's a habit, eventually she gets the idea that you're not going to pick her up and give her food, so she'll stay sleeping.

We diluted the bottle for about 4-5 days, then went to the pacifier and pats and after 2 weeks she slept through the night and hasn't broken from it since (that was at 3 mos.) Ironically, she slept through the night the first time the night we were shooting this little "A Day in the Life of Maeve" video and had hyped the 3:30 encounter - we awoke at 7 am all confused (which is caught on video!) ;)

Gosh, I am not authorized to be an expert, but I think my pediatrician would say that your daughter is getting more than enough calories with solids & formula that you shouldn't be waking her up to eat. (He told us that AFTER 6 weeks - let her sleep, she'll let you know when she wakes up). I would see if some of these are habit snacks instead of hunger snacks.

It also sounds to me (IMO) like your daughter might be a little overtired - read the Dr. W book b/c it is so informative, but I know from the sleep phases that 30-40 minute naps often mean that Sabrina never gets to active sleep during the day (would if she went an hour, but the active - or deep - sleep is only for a flash), so her body is not getting the rejuvenating sleep she needs. Then, when she gets to night, she's going to bed pretty late and may be overtired (Dr. W is a big advocate of the early bed time, says that kids will wake up at the same time no matter what so they should go when they are just getting tired and not when they are overtired). When she does the 3, 4, 5 thing that's also classic overtired behavior (Maeve does this exactly when she's blown a nap or something - up and down, up and down, and, again, Sabrina's waking up right when she should be tranfering to deep sleep). So, it's possible that she's even starting the day tired. Some babies are ok on this, but it might be worth a shot to see if she's having trouble transitioning from light sleep to deep sleep (which usually happens about 40 minutes in depending on the child) - we used to think Maeve wanted to get up then, but we soon realized she just was having trouble transitioning - if we gave her the pacifier or she still had it to suck on, she'd go right back to sleep.

Dr. W and Healthy Sleep Habits was where we learned all this. (I also know all this because we had the video monitor by Safety 1st - the Childview - so we were able to really study her sleeping habits and know all her patterns, but that's another topic). Does she cry when she wakes up or talk happily to herself and play? The latter is a sign of a well-rested child - they'll cry after a while when they realized they're being ignored, but b/c they are rested they (Maeve) usually wake up happy.

Anyway, those are just MY thoughts, nothing expert about them. I recommend Dr. W (and of course Happiest Baby, but you are past the time to start it - I'll look in the book and see if he has some tips on sleeping habits that I can pass on.)

HTH - :) :)
Alexa

[egoldber]

I absolutely agree that it is deadly to compare babies. But I will say eating 5 times a day (or even 6-7 times) sounds average for a 4 month old. We didn't start solids until 5 1/2 months, but even when we did, Sarah was taking around 30 ounces in addition to her solids until she was 7-8 months olds. It was only around 8 months (and started protein foods) that I noticed solids were replacing formula in her diet.

Many babies are sleeping through at 4 months, but many aren't. It wasn't clear to me from you post, do you feed her at 3 am? If you do and she stil does this waking up hourly thing, it sounds like something different from hunger though. Is she cold? Is she hot? Is there a streetlight outside her window? Have you tried providing white noise in some way? Babies do not develop the demand cry (crying because they know you will respond to it rather than for a need) until about 6 months. I could actually see it happening with Sarah. It was like one day a light bulb went off and she "knew" that I would come if she cried. My point there is, until that time, when they cry, they have a need. Our job is to try and figure it out since the little buggers can't tell us yet!!! If you are NOT feeding her at 3 am, it would not be unusual for a baby her age to still need a second night feeding. You may want to try it.

As far as bedtimes go, Sarah has never been a Weissbluth 7 - 7 baby. Her bedtime has always been between 8 and 9, sleeping to between 8 and 9. But I also agree with a lot of Weissbluth. I found him very helpful and 4 to 6 months is a good time to start implementing many of his ideas.

HTH,

[Annette_C]

Thank you Alexa and Beth for your helpful replies.
Sorry it took me so long to reply but Sabrina (and my 5,000 sf house) won't allow me free time during the day.
Anyway, first thing I did this afternoon was to go buy the Healthy Sleep Habits book....didn't have a chance to read it yet but I'm hoping I will tonight.
To answer the 3 am question, no, I don't feed her. Usually, DH or I will give her the pacifier and/or hold her hand, gently rock her and she goes back to sleep....to do it over again in an hour or so.
We do feed her at around midnight and we get her up for that feeding (maybe we should stop doing that). Our thinking was that if she's full at midnight, she'll be all set for the night. Well, she's proving us wrong! Plus, she's not eating much in the morning (only about 4-5 oz as compared to her usual 7-8 oz).
I think she's comfortable temperature wise (I try feeling her skin, legs, hands, feet). We keep the temp at 70 and she has a one pc pj plus a sleeper bag (I don't use blankets yet) and our house is set back from the street so it's quite dark at night. We haven't tried white noise, although we have the option on a radio we recently purchased. BTW, do you play white noise all night or just to quiet the baby down?
One other problem is that, if we don't hold Sabrina while she takes her naps during the day, she will wake up after only 30-45 min. She seems to have a problem with startling. In fact, she will wake herself up by doing that. She used to do it in utero also. I used to get so scared when she did that and it would make me jump too!
Of course, we don't want her to get used to being held so we know that she's getting overtired. The confusing part is that she wakes up from her short naps and in the morning with a big smile and very calm.
I have to add that Sabrina's personality, so far, is very mellow. She very seldom cries and is a good baby, smiling and being pleasant.
I think I covered pretty much everything....sorry about the long message and thank you again for all your help.

Annette :)
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

Edited to say: I had posted this msg last night and I wanted to update it since this past night DH and I were up the majority of the night! It started with Sabrina being extremely agitated last night....not crying, just couldn't settle down to go to sleep. It took us from 9 pm to midnight to finally get her in deep sleep. She even skipped her late night feeding. Unfortunately, though, she's been agitated all night long fussing every 30 minutes! Finally, at 4am we gave her a bottle and some tylenol (just in case she had a discomfort of some sort). We even tried the white noise but she only slept less than 2 hrs. Needless to say, DH and I look like zombies(sp?) today (and he had to go to work poor guy)and Sabrina's dead tired! HELP!

[egoldber]

Could she be teething? If she continues to do this, I would call your ped.

HTH,

[akc]

That's a good thought - or maybe is this typical of growth spurt behavior? My daughter was a little like that when she t 1 ! had a bout of diarrhea a week or so ago, but you would know if she had any kind of stomach bug. Ditto on calling the ped - unfortunately, this is never the time to try new things like dropping feedings etc. It's just getting them back to some sort of routine!

Hang in there -
alexa