Finding childcare

[Rachels]

Hello again. I have been ridiculously sick for a week, which has convinced me that I need to have a few competent babysitters in reserve. It would have been really helpful to have someone to call so that I could take a nap! However, I don't have family in the area and all the moms I know also have little babies. None of us has ventured out, and I've been reluctant to leave Abigail with anyone. How do I even begin to find someone to help out from time to time? I see plenty of ads in the paper, but I'm afraid I'd wake up from my nap to find her missing or covered in hickeys. Yikes. I've thought about contacting the student aid offices of local colleges. Any other ideas for me? I don't want someone here every day, but once in a while some backup would be nice.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[KathyO]

All those moms you know must, between them, have a couple of tried-and-tested babysitters. Start canvassing them (although I suppose a really ruthless mother wouldn't want competition for a good one. Still, it never hurts to ask!)

If they're as desperate as you are, maybe one or another would be interested in trading some babysitting hours?

Another approach might be to get in a teenager and have them mind the baby while you are in the house doing other stuff. There's unlikely to be any rannygazoo when you're known to be in earshot! Once you're comfortable that babe and teen are getting along well, and that teen understands how you like things done, you can start using the time to go for naps and stuff. You could locate the teen through local babysitter training courses. That's how I got my "on the job training" as a babysitter (lo these MANY years ago... I lived in a child-heavy neighbourhood, and I was a bookish, responsible, Sunday-school-teaching teen, so I did *bumper* business...)

It's a start!

Cheers,

KathyO

[nohomama]

Rachel,

In our neighborhood we have a childcare coop. Our currency is magnets and each magnet is worth an hour. When a family joins the coop they get twenty magnets. If I need a few hours of childcare I call one of my neighbors to see if they can take Lola. When I pick her up all I have to fork over is a few magnets. I swap kids with my neighbor Lilly at least twice a week for 3-4 hours at a stretch. I cannot tell you what a godsend this has been for me. Daniel and I have started looking for homes to buy and I'm insisting on looking only in the general vicinity we live in now so I don't have to leave the coop.

Though this may not be a solution for you now, I wholeheartedly encourage you to talk to other parents you know and organize something like this for the not-so-distant future.

HTH someday,

[mama2be]

Rachel,

I want to start a mommy (babysitting) co-op...keep in mind no child yet so I don't know how it will feel to "turn over/leave" my little one. For some reason I am not stressing over that...but ask me the last week of February :):):)

From what I have heard these co-ops are with others with kids of your childrens age. Folks keep track of the hours and actually kinda like "play money" they get that many hours to cash in on themselves for services...

I have only heard of this but it can save on money and gives you another "family" atmosphere to have your baby in while you are gone. They will, I would assume, treat your baby grand becasue they know you will be taking care of theirs too...

I live in a large neighborhood, and have several neighborhoods around that are similiar...I think I will put an "ad" in the neighborhood newsletter for those interested...

Does that sound like an option where you live. I would love to hear how other folks think about his kind of arrangement.

[nohomama]

Neve,

I think we must have been writing our posts at the same time. We coop in our neighborhood and I HIGHLY recommend it. If you have questions about how ours works, let me know.

[ddmarsh]

I have always found my sitters through people I know. Although at first glance you might not think you know anyone that can be helpful, sometimes if you listen (or even ask outright) they might mention a niece, a cousin, etc. I just never felt comfortable running an ad or asking somewhere (i.e. school), although I'm sure people have found quality sitters this way, I tend to be overly cautious. You really do usually get a good feel for someone and we've had really good luck in general. The ironic thing is now that my children are a bit older we just don't get out as much because of school and activites :).

Debbie

[Rachels]

Thanks! I wound up in the ER last night, and as it turns out, I have pneumonia. I can't believe it. Hopefully this will never happen again, but I've got to get some help in reserve just in case! I talked to the neighbor who took me to the ER (DH was out of town!), and he recommended someone. Also, I have talked with friends about a coop. We're kind of spread out, but I think it will work when our babies get a little bigger.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[mama2be]

UGhhh...pneumonia...you poor thing, get some rest and take care of yourself...

Sarah, I am certain as time goes on I will have several questions regarding your co-op...but did wonder how do you handle a family with "one child" as oppossed to two childrens is the "payment" (magnets) different???

Any advice on how to get started...do you think children have to be close in age, should I only target baby mothers?

I have a friend who pays a girl (about 19 years old) $8 an hour to watch her two children...childcare expenses blow my mind!!!! I know for a fact this young girl works at a child care center and probably get $7 an hour and it is taxed...and she is not in a comfort of a home...I know around here for somereason parents pay out the ying yang for child care, and their paying this to young adults...not mothers with experience...

Thank you for sharing!!!

[Shirale]

Childcare is ridiculous- in NYC it is at least $10 an hour for one little (very good!!) baby! pretty amazing...gigh school girls get between $6-9....we ended up deciding that for now it doesn't even make sense for me to work, b/c most of the money would be going to babysitting and taxes anyway! A co-op is a really great idea...

[jojo2324]

Tell me about it! I used to be one of those baby-sitters getting $10 an hour, and some people were telling me I was charging too little! Now I can't even fathom spending that much. We're lucky that Grampa lives down the road or else I wouldn't be able to work. But they're having a baby in March, so what do we do then? I've considered a nanny, something I NEVER NEVER thought I would do, but I need to work! Of course DH is all into the French or Swedish girl living here for the summer, scoundrel! :) A co-op is an interesting idea...Wonder if I could pull it off?

[Caroline99]

My mom was in one of these when I was little. It worked well for her for a few years, but make sure that the other mommies in the co-op have similar parenting styles or it could be bad news. Also make sure that your child can handle being left with a stranger (to him/her). I still remember one kid crying in our front hall for 2 hours when his mom left him.

[nohomama]

Neve,

I imagine every coop situation is different but in ours an hour is an hour, is an hour. It doesn't matter whether a member is taking care of one or two kids from a single family, payment is still a magnet an hour (this ISN"T the case if one of us takes care of mutiple kids from mutiple families).

The beauty of the magnet "currency" is that you never owe or are owed by any single person/family. Essentially you're paid and can spend your magnet with ANY member in the coop.

In terms of age ranges for kids, our coop has kids ranging from 7 months to 3 years. I think its a good idea to mix things up. I would probably feel daunted taking care of two 3 month olds at the same time, but a 3 month old and a 3 year old seems doable.

To get things started, it helps if you have a outgoing personality. The woman who started ours was new to the area and literally walked up to people with children in the neighborhood as asked them if they'd be interested in participating in a childcare coop. She asked me within 5 minutes of meeting me.

The whole childcare thing is a real puzzle. On the one hand the people who do childcare are doing important work and they should be paid a living wage. People with degrees in childhood development routinely get paid $6 an hour. For that, I'd rather be behind a cash register or flipping burgers. On the other hand, it's essential for childcare to be affordable for parents to be able to feed, cloth, and house their children. I pay $12 an hour to a terrific woman and she deserves every penny (she's flexible if I have a last minute cancelation in my schedule, she's multilingual and has a degree in education, she plays several instruments, and she's an exceptional human being...) Unfortunately, I can only afford to pay her when I'm working and charging $55 an hour for a massage. In the end with the added time it takes to get to and from my studio and time in between each appointment, I pay 25-30% of what I make to her. And that doesn't take into account business expenses like rent. I don't know what the answer is but a coop is one way of tackling the problem.

HTH,

[mama2be]

the way I look at it you're no worse off then hiring your friends daughter to come over and watch them...they certaintly don't have your "parenting style"...and I have sat for many a kids who cried in the hall for hours way back when.

I actually ate food, watched TV and talked to friends on the phone and got paid!!!!

I guess eithere scenerio is not with mom and dad...

[mama2be]

How funny...my hubby will joke about the "swedish au pair"...I counter with I want "a cuban pool boy"...:):):)

I swear this is an honest story...I used to work with a nurse who left her husband (bad marriage to begin with) BUT left HER husabnd for a German nanny (GUY) who came and took care of their kids for a year.

They eventually broke up, she helped put him thru school etc...he still resides in the states...but certaintly a twist to the saga we hear about.

[mama2be]

I hear you regarding the pay in the "center" "child care" environment. But this gal who makes like $6 an hour working for one of these centers (by day) charges my friend $10 to watch her kids in her home with totally differnt greater luxeries than the "work atmosphere"...and isn't paying taxes on that...

I just think child care in the home...for quick dates where I live is out of control!!!

Thanks for sharing your experience I am going tor esearch it more and fel good about starting such a program!!! Still curious how other co-ops handle the 1 kid vs 2 or 3 thing...

Thanks tons!!!!

[kathsmom]

Hi, Neve!

I am a member of a babysitting co-op. We use the hours system. If you babysit one child, you get the actual number of hours. For example, when Katherine was an only child, and I would leave her with someone for 4 hours, they got 4 hours credit and I got 4 hours deducted. For 2 children, we would multiply the actual number of hours by 1.5 and that number was deducted/credited. For 3 children, we multiplied the hours by 2. It went up by 0.5 for every extra child.

I joined this co-op after it was well established. We have a president and vice president. Each member takes a month to be secretary.

As far as parenting styles, we all are pretty much of the same philosophy in our group. The only difference that I can think of is that some things I let my DD watch, other parents may not let their kids watch and vice/versa. We have by-laws in our group and it is stated that you should work these things out before leaving your child. No one takes offense if someone asks that their child not play a certain game or watch a certain show.

We have get togethers each quarter, with either just the moms or with the families so the children can get to know the other mommies and kids.

Let me know if you have any questions, and I'll try to answer them.

I would definitely check out local colleges and universities, when I was at Queens College in Charlotte, NC, our student union had a babysitting registry. We would sign up if we were interested in babysitting for people in the community. When people called the college to get names of girls to babysit, our student union would screen them to make sure that we were not going to some psycopath's home. My roommate and I got to be so popular (i.e., we had no dates!!) that you had to book us 2-4 weeks out for weekend night or holidays.

HTH and good luck to everyone!

Toni - mom to Katherine (5/19/96) and Andrew (9/23/02)