Flying vs. Driving

[dogmom]

I need to get from Boston to Pittsburgh as soon as possible after my first child is born in January. My 92 y.o. grandfather is basically hanging on to see his great-grandchild and I'd really like that to happen. By husband and I our currently have a disagreement how to travel. A car trip normally takes about 10-11 hours at best (600 miles) with stops, and it will take longer with a newborn for stops with feedings. I had a co-worker who just did the same run in the summer with a newborn for the same reason. They drove and split the trip up into to days each way. A flight takes 1 1/2 hours + airport time + to and from, but still faster.

My husband is voting on the car because:
(1) he doesn't want to drag all our baby stuff through the airport
(2) he hates dealing with lots of people in airports
(3) he thinks we can drive straight trough in 15 hours with breaks and thats just fine with him.
(4) he admits part of his decision is that he doesn't want people staring at him on the plain because of a screaming baby. (Did I mention is our first child? He's just not used to it yet.)

I was going to drive, but now I'm considering flying. Because my husband's work is only giving him one week off as it for paternaty leave, I'm thinking he won't get much time off later for this trip. It will shave more time off to fly, and I don't think I will want to sit for 15 hours in a car! I'm looking at getting a seat for the baby with an infant car seat or getting an FAA approved carrier that attaches to the seat belt to carry the baby on me. (The Right Start catalog has them.)

Has anyone had to travel with a newborn (0-2 months)? How did it go? What would you recommend? I'm not going to decided for sure until after the baby is born, but I'm considering my options now.

[Rachels]

I absolutely cannot imagine a drive of that length with a baby. I had a carseat-hater. She screamed in the carseat each and every time she was in it until she was four months old. Also, it's not healthy for a baby to be confined to an infant seat for that length of time-- bad for their backs. And you will be recovering from birth and will likely not feel up to sitting for that long, either. I just couldn't have done it. And your husband will also be tired, because birth and new parenthood are exhausting for men as well. Not a recipe for safe driving.

As for flying, no, it's not fun to lug baby stuff through the airport, but there are several of us on this board who travel a lot with our babies, and we can give you plenty of tips. It's vastly easier if there are two of you. I have flown a lot with my daughter, including when she was newborn, and she almost never cries. When she does, nursing her or giving her a pacifier usually helps. Your husband will probably feel differently about his own baby, too. If people are uncivilized enough to shoot you dirty looks when you have a child in distress, shame on them. You guys will be more preoccupied with soothing your little one than caring about the opinions of strangers, believe me. But I've actually found more people than not to be sympathetic and helpful.

As for seats, the Right Start thing actually isn't accepted by most airlines. They make you take the baby out of it for takeoff and landing. Go figure. I usually get my baby a seat, or if I can't, I take my sling. Frankly, I just drop it off my shoulder when the flight attendants come by, and it looks like a blanket. Once they're seated, I put it back on. I feel better with my baby pulled close than just lying in my arms.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Karenn]

Hi,
We drove from Seattle to Sacramento when Colin was 5 weeks old for a family reunion. I was surprised at how easy it was to travel. We stopped about every three hours to feed him, and he usually slept in between feedings. What's more, he started sleeping through the night on that trip! (Of course he hasn't really done it since... oh well.) We made sure that we had short travel days. No more than 5-6 hours in a day. It was surprisingly easy and really nice to be able to stick to his schedule. On the rare occassion that he was fussy, we could simply pull over and do what needed to be done. It was also nice to have privacy since I was still getting the hang of breastfeeding. In fact, Colin did so much better on the road that I was ready to keep traveling even after two weeks!

On the other hand, we recently had to fly back east to visit Colin's great grandmother before she passed away and that was pretty easy too. Of course he was 4.5 months then, but as we took this most recent trip, I realized that I could have easily handled the 1.5 hour flight to Sacramento when he was 5 weeks old. (My only worry might have been all those "airplane germs.")

Whichever way you go, be sure to do a search on this board for "travel." I'm certain both trips would have been far more unpleasant without the advice I got here.

Good luck!
Karen

[KathyO]

On the screaming-baby-on-a-plane front, if your baby is that small when you travel, the screaming will be a LOT quieter (if, indeed, there is any) than from an older baby. People will be much more likely just to think it's cute! To my toddler-accustomed ear, newborn crying sounds so... tiny - like a little kitty! And when my older toddler screamed on our last flight, I took her back to the tail section where the white-noise from the engines both soothed her and dampened out the noise she was making, so it wasn't all that bad.

If I were in your position, I'd opt for the plane too. And best wishes on your grandfather.

Best,

KathyO

[megsmom]

Big fan of flying here. I also had a car seat hater and we only recently are starting to tolerate the car (she's 16 months). She might tolerate a longer drive now, but I think we'd definitely have to time it around a sleep time and invest in a portable dvd. DD has done quite well flying though on several trips at several different stages. I think flying with a newborn would almost be easiest because they sleep the most, aren't as scheduled with naps, trying to squirm out of the stroller, etc.

I don't know if you know this, but some of the breaks that you take for feedings may be 30-45 min. depending on how long your baby takes to feed, burp, get changed, calm down, etc. You might even be taking these breaks every 1 1/2-2 hours or so depending how often your baby eats. This could significantly lengthen the trip. Also, you really have no idea how exhausted both of you will be after having this baby and riding in a car that long...well I just couldn't imagine it. Some women I know had really bad hemorrhoids after delivery and couldn't sit that long either.

Just some thoughts:

If your airport has curbside check-in this saves lugging stuff through airports/waiting in line. With a newborn, you don't need a stroller, unless you wanted to ride the car seat in it. All you would need to have in the airport itself is an infant carseat, a diaper bag, and a front carrier/sling. If you fly a less busy weekday and leave late morning/early afternoon around a non-holiday time the crowds aren't even that bad. I fly out of Dulles in Washington here and there are nutty times but you can avoid them. Another perk to traveling with a little one: sometimes this gets you to the front of the line at security and usually gets you first on the plane.

As far as crying on the plane, your baby may even sleep the whole time. Nursing/feeding during take off and landing helps the ears (my dd rarely has trouble with this) and our first flight we were sat next to the engine. All the white noise drowned out any crying and it actually put her right to sleep! I echo what an earlier poster said, most of the time you are so busy dealing with the baby and yourselves you fail to notice that other people are even on the plane. Besides, with a plane trip even if the baby fussed some, you know you're almost there!

As stated earlier, lots of people on the board here have travel experience with airports so we can give you all the tips to make it as easy as possible. (I've used lots of them and found them to be right on!) I'm sure we've had posters who've done both the drive and flight and can give you the pros/cons of both. I'm obviously very biased toward the plane. :)

Jen
mom to Meghan
born 7/13/01

[egoldber]

This is a tough one. If your baby would be a little older, like 5 or 6 weeks, I would say that the drive would be easy (unless you get a carseat screamer of a baby, which is rare but VERY distressing when it happens). We drove 12 hours with Sarah when she was about 10 weeks old and that was a very easy drive. But a flight would also be very doable. At that age, your baby is likely to sleep most of the time on the plane.

All in all, with a brand new newborn, I would be inclined to drive, espcially if you are breastfeeding. You can always pull over in a car and discreetly breastfeed, butit is hard to discreetly breastfeed on a plane, especially when you are just getting the hang of it. You will be exhausted, but I think I would rather be in a car than schlep my stuff through an airport. And by driving, you will at least be able to take all your stuff with you (feeding pillow, nursing stool, breast pump/bottles, bassinette, etc.). Just be prepared for the trip to take AT LEAST 15 hours. On a 10 hour drive, assuming baby wants to eat every 2 hours with a 45 minute stop or so each time, you can see how the hours add up pretty quickly!

This is a tough call and both trips will be difficult but doable. I don't envy you the decision.

Best of luck!

[mama2be]

I can't comment on what you should do for I have never traveled with a baby....

BUT wanted to remind you that gone are the days that we went to the airport parked, checked in and caught our "1 1/2 hour flight"...when making the decision to fly one must factor in all of the time at the airport now, when we flew to martha's vineyard over the summer we went from line to line to line, and parked in tim buck too...

Look at it this way (which is what I now do)...consider the second you leave your home to go to the airport....till you actually walk into the door at your destination. Compare those two times when you make your decision vs 1 1/2 hour flight compared to 10 hours of driving.

Does that make sense???

[newbelly2002]

I had to get my newborn (he was 3-4 weeks at the time) from VA to Boston because we were moving. It was hard but doable. Everyone told me, don't drive--that was my first choice. DS never made a peep; I nursed him up and down. The white noise of the engines was actually soothing to him. And as far as stuff goes, there's not that much at the very beginning. I breastfed (didn't pump then and so early, you might not e either), so those were already with me. Other than that, some clothes and diapers, and a baby bjorn we were ready to go.

I'd be happy to give you more details if you want it. Also, one note. It's a lot easier--I would think--to find a discreet place to nurse in an airport than it is on the road.

Paula

[egoldber]

I just assumed she would nurse in the car. :) I have done this many times.

[Shirale]

I would have to vote for the plane...aside form worrying about germs (which on a short flight are much less of an issue) I would say the faster the better! We drove from NY to Boston when dd was almost 1 month and a trip that normally takes 3 1/2 hours took 6 1/2 and not having anything to do with traffic...we had to stop 4 times, she hated the carseat, screamed, had to nurse every 45 min...it was anightmare. On the other hand we flew with her when she was 2 and some months from NY to Cleveland (about an hour flight) and even with the travel to and from the airport, and the waiting in the airport, it was totally fine. We took the stroller, car seat, and babybjorn. I nursed her when we took off, gave her her passie when we landed, and she slept the entire way. Newborns are so easy to calm down (usually!) as opposed to older babies who want to crawl, walk, etc and are much much louder! Newborn cries are so cute, I have to agree with Kathy! Also, keep in mind that you will have just given birth and a 15 hour car ride is exhasuting in the bets of times. I would just ask for a window seat (not bulkhead) and get the baby a seat as well, and he/she will prob sleep the whole way! Good Luck and best wishes to you grandfather.

[MichelleL]

I say fly! I flew with my DS when he was 8 weeks old and he did just great! Just like everyone has said they sleep most of the time so it is really easy. My advice to you would be to invest in a Snap n' Go type stroller. We used this in the airport and it made everything a breeze. You have a place for your carseat, carry on items or diaper bag and coats since the basket is such good size (and you're not breaking your back carrying the baby). You can check the stroller at the airplane door and the carseat too if you have too. Hopefully there will be an empty seat and you can bring it on for no extra charge! I recommend a good sized diaper bag that is a backpack too. This way you're not bumping into every seat as you go down the aisle. Oh! I also highly recommend having a pacifier, bottle or breast ready for takeoff and landing. Who knows, you might get lucky and he could sleep right thru it! My DS usually sleeps thru one of the two! Tell your husband that with good organization and planning flying will be so much easier on all of you. Just be sure to give yourself plenty of time to deal with all the lines, security, etc. No need to create any stress by being pressed for time. So, again my recommendations...
Snap n'Go (or similar)
Backpack Diaper Bag
Bottled water (for you)
Pacifier, bottle or breast

As mentioned by someone earlier read some old posts about traveling there seems to be a lot of experts here with GREAT tips!

Good Luck!
Michelle :)