I think I found my Doula :)...huge relief!!!

[mama2be]

JUst hung up the phone with a gal who I really liked. She is young Doula but so excited, peppy, warm and fuzzy...alittle gung-ho but I have to give into her passion and am very willing to do that. Steve and I will meet her Monday to officially interview her. She is a massage therapist too :)...

the strangest thing we spoke for about an hour and then it came out that she went to a "small women's college in Virginia"...we both went to Hollins College. this is a small school that produces only about 200 grads a year...and we both majored in Biology, and they produce only a handful of Bio majors a year...just blew my mind!!!

[Rachels]

That's great, Neve! Gung ho turns out to be really helpful during labor!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[gour0]

I'm so happy for you. Sounds like you really hit it off. :)

[etwahl]

It must be fate! I like the fact that she's a massage therapist. The woman we're interviewing Sunday is also a massage therapist, and I think I could get through anything with a good massage :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[mama2be]

Oh me too...she said after the birth she'll come out to the house and teach both Steve and me how to give the baby massage...

She is just starting out her Doulahood so she has offered her services for free...I am definitly going to pay her something and get her alittle gift though. She loved talking about books etc...etc...she even mentioned adopting one day from another country which has been on my mind for years too (I would like to adopt two children)...she was really excited about a water birth!!!!

She is a young gal, not a mom, and did worry that the gung-honess might be "scrappy doish" to me (you know Scooby's little "let me at em" side kick)...but I'd rather that than blah...and suprisingly I have been very very suprised in the midwives at my birth center and their blahness at times...in that they walk into the room and have not even opened my chart until they are in there...no reviewing minimal questions, seemed alittle more concerned that I bring food then discussing other things...I asked about the crockpot idea yesterday and she said, "we have a lot of wash cloths and our water is hot we don't need a crock pot"...just like that...so I think it will be a good thing to have soemone who is into it there...

Poor thing though she started in wanting to lecture me on my decison not to breast feed as if I hadn't heard the schpiel 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times. I do find it amazing that someone thinks they are shining some light on me that I have never heard before. And I did have to finally nip that in the bud. I pretty much told her that I understood if she did not want to doula for me based on this decision...but also told her I don't know why it is anyones else's business other than mine and DHs...and I don't. Again I gave my car seat lecture..."go and check folks car seats to make certain they are installed correctly vs wondering if I am going to breast feed..." again I have seen many many childhood deaths from lack of this when working at Fairfax's ER...and that DOES pertain to me (and all of us)because if I hit someone whose kid is not installed properly then I have to live wiht the consequences... anyway I am off on a tangent but must say I am sick of folks grasping on to this one thing and going on and on about it...

The MW at the birth center yesterday still advised me to go to a breast feeding class...and then literally said, "well I hope no one harrasses you about it here but you might hear some schpiels"...I qucikly said, "no I won't tolerate it...if they go down that path they will see a very ugly side of me and it will efffect my experience here"...I deserve to be treated better, I have done a lot of research on other things and have done eveything in my power to do what is right...and I DO organize safety car seat inspections for my neighborhood of 800 homes 4 times a year...so I can go to sleep at night knowing I am making a difference in the life or death of a child...

It's not that I am sensitive to the issue...I'm just sick of it, I mean sick of it to the point I can explode!!!

Anyway I'll knowmore after Monday...but so hope it works out I think it will :)

[nigele]

Hi Neve!

I hope the doula works out for you - let us know.

As for the breastfeeding class, the one we took at the hospital made nursing sound like a wonderful and easy experience. Well, I was bound and determined to nurse my child and when I ran into MAJOR difficulties the first few weeks, I felt like a failure (since all the women in the video at the class absolutely LOVED nursing.) The teacher didn't mention the gory side of the story! I continue to nurse DS but think they should have mentioned what could go wrong si I would have been prepared. Anyway, it is your decision so don't let anyone force you into listening to their opinion!

[nohomama]

I just wanted to recommend the book "Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents." I liked it both as a mother and a massage therapist.

I think both of you, Neve & Tammy, should take full advantage of your massage therapist doulas, both during labor and post partum. If they don't offer, ASK! A little reflexology/shiatsu foot massage can really get things moving during labor and post partum there's nothing like a foot rub while you're feeding/nursing your baby. I had worse edema in the few days after Lola was born than I did during pregnancy.

[JMarie]

I completely understand your reaction to the insistance on breastfeeding. I've was told I should just switch meds - THREE of them - in order to 'do what is best for my child.' What is best for my child is that I am healthy and able to care for him, not becoming a guinea pig for the drug companies. This pregnancy has been hard enough on my body since I have to regulate myself without medication; I have struggled with my diet, had to quit exercising, and gained extra weight, all in an effort to get through this without the medication that helps me but could hurt my child. Honestly, even if I could, I probably wouldn't breastfeed. I have had such negative response to my 'decision' - especially from mothers I know (none on this board - you've all been great) - that it's tarnished the whole idea for me. You have every right to decide how to raise your child, and there is no reason you should have to defend yourself again and again.

You would think there would be a note in your file with your wishes and that they would respect your decision. There's one in my file with my OBs, and I actually had a wonderful conversation today with the nursery coordinator at my hospital. She's already indicated in my pre-admission records that I will need immediate medication following the delivery and that I should not be approached about breastfeeding. The only contact the consultants will be allowed is to help me with minimizing engorgement, which I am more than willing to accept. I hope you are able to come to an understanding with your birthing center - and don't take the class if it's not what you want.

JMarie
EDD 2/23/03
Aidan Christopher

[mama2be]

Sarah, Thanks for the massage book rec I am heading to Barnes and Noble today and will look it up :)...just you describing it makes it enough for me to want to do it.
I started reading "birthing from within" and it mentions foot massage at the beginning and I was relaxed just reading about it :)...thank you!!!

JMarie, I am so glad that you have gotten that worked out...in all honesty mine isn't even that I feel so defensive with it I'm just sick of it, next time someone mentions it I am going to yawn in their face rudely...I just think it is amazing that these folks think they are telling me somehting that I have not heard before...it actually makes me question them as if this is the only knowledge they know. Next time soemone tries to make me feel bad I am going to ask them to compare their resume with mine on what they have done for the well being of society...and that should shut them up!!!

I've tutored the homeless, spent 75% of my adult Thanksgivings serving the homeless, helped build houses for HH, worked in local Emergency Room almost evey big Holiday for 15 years so employees with kids could have the HOlidays with them, coordinate safety inspection car seats for our huge community, did a seminar for kids on stranger danger for my neighborhood, did a seminar for kids on "hands off don't touch", doing a seminar for kids on how to avoid sexual predetaors via the internet, I started NEighborhood Watch in my community and chair it, and I started "safe houses" in my neighborhood, and volunteer for special olympics... AND THESE FOLKS ARE OBBSESSED OVER IF MY CHILD THAT THEY WILL NEVER EVER SEE AGAIN IS BREAST FED!!!!!!!!!! Next time I'm going to tell these folks to get a real hobby!!!