Starting the baby in its own crib or our bedroom?

[etwahl]

I always thought we'd put the baby in its own crib right from the beginning, but since DH will be gone, I'm wondering whether I should consider our bedroom for a while. We are getting a pack 'n play (our bed is too high for a co-sleeper), but I'm just not sure. I'd have to go back to the baby's room to at least diaper anyway (which is right beside ours) so I'm wondering what would be the major benefits of having her (or him) in our room. Thoughts? Also, I remember reading about the pack 'n play being pretty noisy for the baby to sleep on. I guess I'm just wondering if I should alter the original sleeping plan.

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[egoldber]

We had the crib AND changing table in our bedroom for the first few months. I found it very handy for those every two hour feedings. And I was just more comfortable having her in our room.

But in your situation, I wouldn't set up the crib in the bedroom, because it will likely need to be disassembled and re-assembled to move it (which is what we had to do). The changing table just rolls down the hall, but the crib is another story.

Many babies sleep just fine in the PNP. Sarah never really did. When we have another baby, I will probably buy a cheap bassinet to keep in our bedroom for the first few months.

The major benefit is being able to nurse/feed in your bed. Some people prefer to go to the nursery and nurse, but I prefered having her in bed with me to nurse.

Again, in your situation, I would probably pick up some kind of bassinet to use for awhile.

HTH,

[etwahl]

The other problem is our room is quite small, so not much room for a changing area in there. We are getting the carry cot with the mountain buggy, and I understand it can be used as a portable bassinet, but I'm not sure if it's suitable, since I haven't seen it IRL. Btw, what is the typical nursing schedule? I think I remember every two or three hours? How long does this last?

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[sweetbasil]

I think since it'll just be you and sweet baby, your room would be SO convenient. We had a family-heirloom bassinet for DS for his first month, and have already gotten it out for baby #2. Really, I don't think the PNP is that loud- as long as you've got a sheet covering the mattress. I don't really remember how often I nursed DS at the beginning (should've written down THAT little detail!), but it seemed like it was every 2-3 hours for the first 2 mo? HTH :)

[egoldber]

I hate so say this, but Sarah ALWAYS nursed every 1 1/2 - 2 hours for the 6 months that I nursed her. To be honest, that's why I stopped at 6 months, I just couldn't handle it any more, throwing all my extended breastfeeding good intentions out the window! And remember that the two hours is start to start of feedings. So your baby may start to nurse at 2, nurse for 30-40 minutes (in the early days), then poop, then sleep, then wake up again at 4 ready to do it all again. And they do this around the clock. That's why I had the crib and changing table in the bedroom.

But (guestimating based on my memory of other people's babies in my playgoup) typically, babies go to every 3-4 hours by around 4 months or so. By about 6-8 months many babies are down to 4-5 nursing sessions per day.

Just a thought, but you COULD set up a changing area in your bedroom by just putting one of those changing pads on DH's side of the bed and using a basket or something to hold supplies. I found this SO helpful initially I can't even tell you.

I also remember now that one of the main reasons we set things up this way, at least initially, is that I had a (unexpected) C section. In the early days it was almost impossible for me to walk all the way down the hall to the nursery 3-5 times a night.

HTH,

[egoldber]

I just wanted to add, that even though Sarah nursed every 1 1/2 to 2 hours for a long time, that was during the day. She started going 5-6 hours a night around 8 weeks working up to 10-12 hours a night around 12 weeks.

HTH,

[etwahl]

Yikes, this is some scary business. I can see my first few months being a zombie!

I also forgot to mention that our pack 'n play has a bassinet.

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[MartiesMom2B]

Does your pack 'n play have a changing area on it too? That would alleviate your problem.

Thanks for putting this topic up, I just realized I have no changing area in my bedroom for the baby. Hmmm this gives me something new to think about!

Sonia
EDD 4/14/03

[etwahl]

Actually, I'm not sure. I know it's a 5 in 1. We haven't actually received it yet, but I know it's been purchased from my registry because I had to make a change so I saw that.

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[MartiesMom2B]

I was looking at Pack N Plays at BRU yesterday. The 5 in 1's have a changing table on it and also I believe a little pouch on the side to organize everything. So I hope this will take care of both the sleeping arrangements and the changing table.

Also just to let you know that I found an all purpose matress pad for my cradle (they are good for bassinets too)if you want to have something in between the matress and the sheet. It's not waterproof though, I guess that's what sheetsavers are for!

Good luck with everything. I notice that you are about a week ahead of me on your due date. I can't believe this pregnancy is going by so fast.

Sonia
EDD 4/14/03

[Momof3Labs]

We had the PNP in our room, but Colin didn't like it. Too big and scary, I guess. So we used a Moses basket that we put on our king-sized bed either between us or at the foot (we have a footboard so it wouldn't fall off). Colin slept very well in his basket, but he was so tall that he outgrew it at 4-6 weeks. So we transitioned him to the crib.

Colin nursed at least every 3-4 hours at night until he was about 4 weeks old, then he started going 5-6 hours at night. That stretched to 9-10 hours by 3 months, then he got sick and last night he was up every 3 hours doing some catch-up nursing.

I would recommend planning on having the baby in your room (including a changing station - we used the PNP) for at least the first month. By then you may be ready to move him/her down the hall - sleeping babies are not peaceful with all of their wiggling and grunting!

Hope this helps!

Lori & Colin 9/28/02

[COElizabeth]

We initially planned to have DS sleep in his crib in his own room from the beginning, too, and ended up with him sleeping in his car seat on the floor of our room for about 2 months! I would at least plan an option for having the baby in your room in case that turns out to work better for you. I think the newer PNPs are not as noisy, especially the bassinets, so that would probably work fine for you in the beginning. You can always change the baby on the bed. And to be honest, when my DH is out of town, I often skip the nighttime changes (unless we have a diaper emergency) and just nurse DS at night. DS doesn't care - all he really wants is the food!

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[stillplayswithbarbies]

has anyone used the Snuggle Nest? I am thinking about using that in our bed between us. But I assume I will have to take baby out of it to nurse? (I can't just hang over the edge of it, can I?)

We don't have room in our room for a pack n play or a bassinet. (we have a big bed with just room to walk around on all sides between the bed and the dressers)

I will just change the baby on the bed. We have a tall bed so that should not be a problem.

...Karen
EDD March 21

[egoldber]

I also had the 5 way PNP with the bassinet and changing table. I used that as my downstairs set up, so I needed something else upstairs. Many people use the PNP bassinet, but Sarah just didn't sleep very well in the PNP bassinet. She slept much better in the crib.

My PNP also has the "pockets" on the outside to organize stuff. Personally, I have found those to be absolutely useless for anything except storing extra PNP sheets, the canopy and the travel bag.

And yes, you will be a zombie for the first few months! Everyone is!

If you have room in your bedroom for a PNP, you probably have room for a bassinet and small changing table. If you can put them right next to each other, they wouldn't take up any more room than a PNP. Or you could get something like this (http://store.babycenter.com/product/nursery/furniture/bassinets_and_cradles/6136), store changing supplies in the bottom and just change baby in the bassinet.

I guess a Moses basket would work. We couldn't do that because our dog sleeps in our bedroom with us and I wanted Sarah out of the reach of the dog!

HTH,

[etwahl]

You're right. Something that small would totally work. Do you have recommendations for a particular bassinet in case I decide to go that route? I totally haven't been even considering bassinets until now. We have two cats who like to cuddle :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[egoldber]

Sorry, we didn't have one. But I have been asking myself all day now WHY we didn't!!!

But I know that bassinets have been discussed tons. I would do a search on bassinets here.

I just went to babycenter.com and found that one in 30 seconds. It seems like a deal for $38! I know I also see them at consignment stores all the time.

HTH,

[sweetbasil]

After using the wooden family hand-me-down one (it was my husband's, 30 years ago) for DS, I think it would be nice to have one that's either lightweight or on wheels. We kept it in our room with us at night for the first month, and during the day, I'd move it into the living room so he could sleep out there while I got things done. I had a c-section, so something lighter weight to lift might've been more comfortable/manageable. After a month, we went ahead and moved him into the crib in the nursery. But two of my friends have used the bassinet since for up to three months (or until baby could roll more) and it worked nicely. Good luck!

[Rachels]

I find that with baby-having, quite a few of my well-laid plans have gone out the window as I've learned who Abigail is and what she needs, and also who I am as a mother. So I think in whatever arena, it's good to allow yourself a little flexibility. I also think that, DH or no DH, tiny babies usually want and need to be near their moms. He or she is used to your sounds, movements, smell, warmth, etc. You'll probably find that the baby will sleep better with or near you, at least in the beginning. It's DEFINITELY easier to handle nursing at night in your own bed. We have a tiny bedroom, too, so we got a cradle, which I loved. Abigail would start the night in her cradle and usually end up in bed with us. It worked really well for us. (Get an LC to help you learn side-lying nursing. It saves my tired soul.)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[nohomama]

You may already know this so it may not be a solution, but Arm's Reach makes leg extenders for their co-sleepers (http://www.armsreach.com/access_lego.asp). They raise the co-sleeper in 2" increments from 24" to 30" (the height of a pillow top matress).

The new Mini Co-sleeper (http://www.armsreach.com/product_mini.asp) can be used as either a bassinet and/or a changing table and it has storage underneath for diapers and wipes, extra receiving blankets, or whatever. It also has wheels on one side and is small enough to fit through doorways, making it easy to move from room to room.

We have a really small bedroom as well and were able to wedge the Original Co-sleeper between the bed and a wall. Things were tight in there, but it worked. If the mini had existed before Lola was born, we definitely would have bought it instead. Regardless, we really loved ours.

[etwahl]

Beth, do you think a moses basket ON the bed would be okay considering we have a kitty who likes to sleep at the foot of the bed? Actually, I'm thinking that since I will probably have the baby sleep with me for a while, that I may have to shut the bedroom door at night, just like I would have with the baby's room. I'm just not sure what to do with regards to the cats. I love our kitties so much, but don't want to compromise the baby. Just not sure.

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[Mayan]

We started baby in a bassinet in our own room, because it seemed more convenient for feedings. Plus it seemed baby was so lonely in his own room.
After about 4 weeks we moved baby to his own room and crib - he seems happier there (more space to move - he is a big baby, the bassinet is cramped), but one of us sleeps on a bed in his room for now - we take turns doing shifts - this way, the person sleeping in our bedroom can really sleep deeply for at least a few hours.

BTW - here is an idea we came up with - We hooked a small bicycle side mirror (one you can buy at Target for a few bucks) on the bassinet and set it so we could see baby's face while we were in bed (this way we could see if he was spitting, lost his pacifier, etc.) without getting up unless he really needed us. Pretty soon, baby would look up in the mirror and see us (we think), because he would be agitated, look up and then calm down. It is a much cheaper solution than a co-sleeper, and when you are this tired and baby makes a strange noise, you can just open your eyes and see what's going on without moving (much easier to go back to sleep).

[mamahill]

Going against the grain here. Initially I was convinced Ainsleigh would sleep in our room with us. I don't know if I became more paranoid in my sleep, and if I had an unusually loud baby, but I woke up every 20 minutes with her in my room. I heard EVERY grunt, moan, burp, wheeze, etc. We also slept Ainsleigh in her car seat for the first couple months because she had gas issues and her nervous system wasn't fully developed (per the doc's recommendation). So the next night home I moved her into her room (right next to ours) and got the monitor. After a couple hours, I had turned down the monitor so low that I could hear her through the vent better than through the monitor!

Ainsleigh never slept in our room and it helped me sleep better. As it was, DH and I both would have dreams that she was in bed but was lost in the sheets. It helped with my peace of mind if I started to dream that to say, "Wait a minute, she's never in bed with us!" I did sleep with her on my chest for the two nights in the hospital, and although she slept well, I had visions of her sliding off.

Ainsleigh was small to begin with (5-14) so the doc said to feed every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. So I set my alarm. After a couple weeks she began waking up and I quit setting the alarm. The baby will ease into his/her own schedule and who knows, maybe you'll have a 4-hour schedule. Once she hit about 2 months, we were on a 3-hour schedule and sleeping through the night. Of course, that has all changed as of late (night waking, once again), but I think it's a new developmental phase and have the best intentions of regulating sleep.

I know a lot of people have success sleeping with (or in the same room as) their babies. For me, my sanity would have left. Sleep has always been the biggest factor in determining my mood. And I wanted to avoid as much PPD, since I knew I had a high likelihood of having it.

Oh, one last thing (sorry for so long!). Babies often grunt and moan, but aren't awake and mothers often just get them up and feed them. If the baby isn't fully awake, he/she won't eat as well/much and then be hungry again sooner. Once they're awake enough to really cry out, they're awake enough to eat and will sleep better/longer. This is what my doc told me and made sense. Another reason why Ainsleigh was in another room. By the time she was loud enough to be heard (with our walls, it wasn't that loud!), I knew she would eat well. Good luck!

[luvbeinmama]

With DS we had him in an old stroller (laid flat w/ a stiff padded bottom put in) for the 1st 3 weeks 'til he outgrew it. I would have been a wreck if we hadn't done that because I kept freaking out when I couldn't hear him and he was close so we could check him. He was a very quiet sleeper. DD we had in a bassinett for 2 mos. She's outgrown it, and we are very happy to have her in her own room now (she's a noisier sleeper than DS ever was). I've always nursed in my glider, so which room to nurse in didn't matter to me. Although, I still have that in my room (she's 3 mos on the 15th). I never did get the hang of nursing laying down! I have to say hat I really liked having the bassinett. Your PNP will probably suffice for that, though. Anyway, leave your options open and see how you feel when the baby arrives! HTH!

[danielleh]

We also had our DS sleeping in a stroller laid flat (PP Venezia) for the first few weeks. I liked being able to roll him around with me to different rooms in the house. Now we have him in the PNP bassinet at night in our room and in his crib for daytime naps since our bedroom is on a different floor than his and we are not quite ready to be that far away from him at night.

Danielle
mom to Jimmy born 8/29/02

[sntm]

what a cool idea! i'll have to keep that in mind.

shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03

[newbelly2002]

We had Dante in the PNP for the first 6 weeks because we were moving adn thus, well, he didn't HAVE a room. The PNP bassinet wasn't particularly loud, and because he was small I think it was less overwhelming than a large crib. He stayed in the PNP most of the night until the 4 or 6 AM feeding at which point I would take him into bed with us to grab a few more hours sleep. Once we got to Germany we kept him with us in our room in the PNP while my sister stayed with us for 3 weeks. He would still often end up the night in our bed, but like Sarah, both DH and I ended up having dreams about rolling on him, him falling off, etc. At 2 months we moved him to his own room (with a monitor, my own neurosises showing through--it's a small apartment).

I think we all--him, DH, and I--sleep better with this arrangement. It was hard at first, but in the end I'm a better mom if I sleep well. I also think it helped Dante learn to soothe himself back to sleep if he knew that we weren't right there to answer every sleep-sound.

This works best once baby is no longer nursing at night--or infrequently at least. Dante still often naps on my chest, so long as I've got a good book. I like maintaining that closeness and since I'm sleeping at night I don't need to nap as often with him, just relax and enjoy him.

We had only planned on having Dante sleep with us for the first 6 weeks but it lasted much longer. Be willing to be flexible; everyone finds their own way once the baby comes.

Speaking of baby. . .he's awake, gotta run!

Paula

[brubeck]

I will also put in a word for letting the baby sleep in his own crib in his own room (especially if it's next to yours anyhow). I did this with my daughter and had tremendous success and never had the issue of 'how do we get the child out of our room?' everyone else does at 3 or 6 months. I am the sort of person that once I am awake to feed the baby it doesn't matter, I am AWAKE. So walking to the next room wasn't a big deal. I am currently doing this with my son.

I also agree with the previous poster who said that the baby noises keep you awake. They do! Especially when the colicy phase starts at about 3 weeks your baby will be grunting and squealing and passing gas all night (as my son is right now!) you will be awake the entire time listening to him if he is not separate from you. My husband and I cannot have a baby monitor on at night because the noise keeps us up. Instead we keep all the doors open in the hallway. This is enough for me to wake up if he cries, but not enough to hear his other noises.

Lastly, think about long-term sleep for your baby. He will be learning to put himself to sleep. One of the key strategies is that he learns that the crib is a sleep place. If he is in there from the beginning then he should hopefully come to realize that when he is there it is sleeptime and he should do just that. We NEVER let any toys or mobiles in the crib because we wanted to make it a sleep-inducing (not stimulating) place that the baby was comforted in, not excited in.

Anyhow, just my 2 cents. I know lots of people don't agree with these theories.