flagger
01-22-2003, 03:35 PM
I have been in the planning stages for this baby for all of my married life. Going to the OB in May after she had been spotting and being told, “I’m sorry her uterus is empty” and the miscarriage starting later that day hit me in ways I haven’t been able to verbalize.
The excitement in late September when we saw that positive pregnancy test and the anticipation for the first OB visit was just agonizing. It was worry for naught. We could see that 10-week old heartbeat. It is a moment I will never forget. I look at my wife differently now. She is just glowing and radiant. I have a picture I took over thanksgiving and she hasn’t looked that peaceful since our wedding day. She just glows.
However, it hit me this weekend, in between the crib fiasco and the three hours spent at BRU registering for overpriced stuff that they hope others or I will buy. There comes a time when you have to learn to trust your intuition about raising a baby. You can read all the books and all of the websites, but IMHO one day it will hit you. You have become over stimulated. It is exactly what they warned you NOT to do to your child. Message boards like this are wonderful in the fact they provide just a sounding board to find that others are going through the same sort of emotions you are.
It doesn’t take long however before one is overloaded. You can find opinions on vaccinations, natural childbirth, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, crib sleeping, bassinette sleeping, sleeping in the doghouse (oh wait that is for the husbands for daring to ask for sex during the pregnancy). I see on this board and on others, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Easy for them to say when they are not going through the HUGE stuff, that is actually really small in perspective.
For me, information is key and advanced planning is important, but there comes a point where you have to do what is best for your own sanity. No one opinion, no one post, no one book (sorry Alan and Denise ;)) is the gospel. The camps on all fronts are pretty strong and persuasive, but somehow our parents did it and their parents did it too. And they did it without baby monitors, and video monitors, electrical outlet covers, bumper guards for the fireplace, etc.
I won’t defend my wife for wanting to breastfeed or wanting to have the baby in the hospital with an epidural. Nor will I let anyone else fondle my wife to feel the baby. “But it’s just for luck.” When did I become a carnival barker? “Feel the woman’s stomach for a buck, five if you want to look…” Now that’s an idea. Everything we registered for is pretty expensive…
The excitement in late September when we saw that positive pregnancy test and the anticipation for the first OB visit was just agonizing. It was worry for naught. We could see that 10-week old heartbeat. It is a moment I will never forget. I look at my wife differently now. She is just glowing and radiant. I have a picture I took over thanksgiving and she hasn’t looked that peaceful since our wedding day. She just glows.
However, it hit me this weekend, in between the crib fiasco and the three hours spent at BRU registering for overpriced stuff that they hope others or I will buy. There comes a time when you have to learn to trust your intuition about raising a baby. You can read all the books and all of the websites, but IMHO one day it will hit you. You have become over stimulated. It is exactly what they warned you NOT to do to your child. Message boards like this are wonderful in the fact they provide just a sounding board to find that others are going through the same sort of emotions you are.
It doesn’t take long however before one is overloaded. You can find opinions on vaccinations, natural childbirth, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, crib sleeping, bassinette sleeping, sleeping in the doghouse (oh wait that is for the husbands for daring to ask for sex during the pregnancy). I see on this board and on others, “don’t sweat the small stuff.” Easy for them to say when they are not going through the HUGE stuff, that is actually really small in perspective.
For me, information is key and advanced planning is important, but there comes a point where you have to do what is best for your own sanity. No one opinion, no one post, no one book (sorry Alan and Denise ;)) is the gospel. The camps on all fronts are pretty strong and persuasive, but somehow our parents did it and their parents did it too. And they did it without baby monitors, and video monitors, electrical outlet covers, bumper guards for the fireplace, etc.
I won’t defend my wife for wanting to breastfeed or wanting to have the baby in the hospital with an epidural. Nor will I let anyone else fondle my wife to feel the baby. “But it’s just for luck.” When did I become a carnival barker? “Feel the woman’s stomach for a buck, five if you want to look…” Now that’s an idea. Everything we registered for is pretty expensive…