Question for Mom's who co-sleep

[dogmom]

I was hoping some Mom's out there that share/shared their bedroom with their baby could give me some advice. Right now I have an arms reach co-sleeper and also let my four week old son fall asleep with me in the bed and then move him to the co-sleeper. DH JUST got him to fall asleep in the cosleeper last night with no problem. I wasn't sure if I was going to use the co-sleeper or the bassinet before Harvey was born, but I had such success sharing a bed with him in the hospital, I decided to stick with it. It's working fine for all three of us now, he only wakes up once a night and sleeps in 3-4 hour stints.

DH is very supportive, and not making any noise about kicking the our son out of the room. I guess both of use don't feel strongly about moving him out before six months, but on the other hand we would rather not have a toddler sleeping regularly with us. We would like to resume our sex life at some point. (HA!HA!) I'm working on him falling to sleep in the co-sleeper instead of the bed. I'm realizing that he can do it, it's more weaning me from having him fall asleep in the crook of my arm than the other way around.

What I'd be interested in learning is how did you manage/find the transition to crib/nursery? Was is horrible? When did you start? Would you do anything differently? Oh, I am breast feeding. I love not having to get out of bed during the night to feed him and change him.

Thanks in advance,
J.M.

[Rachels]

We're still cosleeping here. Abigail did fine in her cradle for a number of months, and then went into her crib for the first part of the night. She did fine. Now she's teething, so she's with me all night. We get way more sleep that way! I do sometimes worry about how I will get her into her own bed, but I'm just trying to trust that she'll let me know when she's ready to sleep longer stretches without me there. I do wish I had concentrated more on putting her in the crib for naps when she was smaller-- it would be great to have that habit better established. But I don't stress too much over the nighttime thing. She does pretty well with me. There must be a reason for that. No other mammal sticks her baby in a separate cave or tree at nighttime, KWIM? Mothers and babies are designed to be together. Most cultures cosleep. I don't think you HAVE to do it, but if you WANT to do it, you're not breaking any rules.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Zansu]

DS slept in his ARCS until he was 5.5 months old. I don't remember when I started putting him in it to fall asleep, but I know we moved him to his own room/crib at 5.5 months b/c he had a cold and his snoring was driving me nuts.

HTH
Suzanne
W&P for Benjamin 5/1/02

[KathyO]

We transitioned from cosleeper to crib at 5 months, and it turned out to be no big deal. I agonized for weeks ahead of time (we were working towards the deadline of having to give up our bedroom for a visit by the in-laws) and when we moved her over to the crib at nights, I even camped out on her floor for the first night and a half... before I realized that she didn't really care at all, and went back to my own soft bed!!

I did notice that DD stopped waking quite so frequently - I think that without my constant physical presence, it didn't occur to her to ask to nurse quite so often.

HTH,

KathyO

[jojo2324]

We pretty much started co-sleeping in the hospital. And I do it now because I sleep much more, and much better, honestly. I wouldn't mind if he completely slept in his crib, but when he's not in bed with us I lie awake, aware of the absence. He does take naps in his cribs, but they are much shorter than the ones he takes with mommy.

We start him out in his crib every night, but when he wakes up to nurse we just bring him back to bed with us. It is much easier that way. I don't think if I were to keep putting him back in his crib after each nighttime session he would complain...It's just something I need to do on my end.

In the beginning it was also *much* easier to co-sleep because he refused to be put down. Anywhere. At all. So it was a sanity saver as well.

I agree with Rachel. Mommies have slept with their babies for gazillions of years before us; you needn't feel badly or stressed about it. Eventually your baby will be fine on his own.

[cara1]

Just curious, but I'm even worried when DS and I fall asleep together on the bed for a nap. He's already rolled off once a few months ago (I don't wanna talk abou it...). But now he's crawling, taking a few steps, and can climb off the bed. How do you cosleep safely when they are this mobile?

[Rachels]

Some people buy or build high bedrails. Others put the mattress on the floor and babyproof the room. Not entirely appealing, I guess, but temporary, and definitely safe.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[sparkeze]

We co-sleep and I haven't made any effort to do it any other way because that's how I get the most rest. There was a point when DS was waking up every 45 minutes all night so we tried putting him to sleep in the crib (which was next to our bed) and he did sleep better for awhile. But I find it more tiring to get out of bed 3 times a night than to wake up 5 or 6 times to nurse DS back to sleep in bed. So back to bed he came and we actually took down our crib a couple months ago. We're planning to co-sleep until DS is ready to transition to his own mattress in our room, then move him into his own room when he's ready. As far as sex life goes...there are plenty of other places to do it and if you're going to be interrupted by a baby waking up it could happen whether your baby is in your bed or not. We took our bed off the frame and put a futon mattress on the floor next to the bed because we were having a problem with DS falling off the bed. More like him propelling himself off the bed. So now he propels himself onto the futon mattress and can safely get on the floor from there. Our bedroom looks more like a fort now but I figure in another few months he'll be able to climb off the bed safely so we won't need all that. For our situation, DS is incredibly active and doesn't nurse a whole lot during the day so I think he really needs to nurse a lot at night. I don't have a problem falling right back to sleep after pulling up my shirt for DS to nurse so I feel well rested in the morning.

One mom I know transitioned her DD by having her sleep in a bassinet next to their bed, then moved the bassinet to the other side of the room, then down the hall to her own room, and then finally into her crib. She's about 5mo now and sleeps well in the crib. I'm not sure how long the process took, but I think doing it gradually is easier.

I think the best advice is to do whatever lets you feel well rested in the morning. That's the most important thing, I think. If I really couldn't get a good nights sleep with DS next to me I probably would try something else, but I think co-sleeping is the best situation for my family.

[gravymommy3]

J.M.,

I wish I could give you advice on how to get a child into a crib/nursery. I currently have three kids in the bed with DH and myself. UGH!

Here is how this happened. My first daughter - I could not bear the thought of her not being in bed with me (she actually slept in the arm's reach until she could sit up.) I cried for months at the idea of her having to sleep in her crib in another room. We decided to take one side off of her crib and have the crib as an extension of our bed. This worked wonderfully!. Then when #2 came along (see, you can have sex - you just have to be creative!), he went in the arm's reach and we moved the crib to DH's side. Then, with #3 (she never would sleep in the arm's reach, we just threw her in between Dh and myself (I am a very light sleeper so I never had a fear of smothering her, but if you sleep heavy, be careful). I didn't worry about her falling off because she is between DH and myself.

One day I will get them all in their own rooms, but to be honest, I really enjoy sleep sharing. My oldest will sleep on her toddler bed next to our bed most nights, which means I get some sleep on those nights.

Do what you feel is right for you. My pediatrician would have a duck if he knew the kids still slept with me. But I really don't care - we are all happy and that is what counts.

Good luck

Amy

[dogmom]

Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement. It's just what I needed to decide to relax about getting him out of the bed so I can continue to enjoy him in it. He is sleeping the second half of the night in the cosleeper, he usually needs to fall asleep in my arms at the beginning of the night. I belong to a new mom support group, but none of them sleep with their baby, so I couldn't really get a lot of advice.

Amy, my pediatrician would probably loose it too if he knew I was sleeping with the baby and two dogs. My husband and I have strictly enforced the "no Labs above the waist policy" when the baby is bed to prevent any dog/baby incidents. It works fine and I don't have to deal with the guilt of kicking my "other children" out of bed. I just wish they made a bigger mattress besides King size.

J.M.

[gravymommy3]

J.M.,

I won't tell if you won't :) We could invent the "Family King" bed designed to hold two adults, three rugrats and a couple of family pets. Bet we would make a fortune! Don't forget about doing the side-car crib thing when he gets too big for the cosleeper. That saved me a bunch on therapy alone.

Good luck

Amy