Ok, on to my next question!

[atlbaby]

For all of you out there with 2 or more children already, #2 on the way, (or if you just happen to know!) I'm wondering if you read any books during pregnancy to prepare for becoming a family of 4? I've done some research on amazon and barnes&nobles etc and found a few books, but the reviews are all mixed and so I'd love to hear if there's something that anyone has found to be helpful overall?

Thanks!

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01

[brubeck]

I mostly read the chapters on having older siblings for your new baby in my AAP book (Your Child Birth to Age 5) and the Vicki Iovine books. There was also a really good article in Parenting on this a few months ago. I didn't buy any special books just on the topic though.

What I did find useful was buying a couple of books for my older daughter to help prepare her for the baby's arrival. She was only 25 months when he came so many of these books were a little too sophisticated in language for her (I think they're geared towards 3 or 4 year olds) but the pictures were terrific. I would describe what was going on in the pictures to her and I think it helped her prepare (as much as is possible for a 2 year old). The two best ones I found were Our New Baby and I'm A Big Sister (there's a corresponding I'm A Big Brother book too). I got these both on Amazon for a few dollars each.

[parkersmama]

Okay, I'll admit that I was obsessed with this when I was expecting Wesley. For some reason I was really worked up about adding another child to the family. Funny though, this time I've hardly given it a thought at all! Weird how you get so accustomed to the madness! LOL!

I looked at bunches and these are the ones that I actually purchased:

Welcoming Your Second Baby, by Vicki Lansky...this is a *very* slim book that is pretty straight forward. It is in a bullet type format...sort of a "just the facts, ma'am" type book. It is pretty much centered around preparing your first child for the arrival of a sibling. I liked it pretty well but it wasn't anything earth shattering.

And Baby Makes Four: Welcoming a Second Child into the Family, by Hilory Wagner...I liked this one better. It's longer and has more detail. This book has a lot of sibling advice but also advice for you on handling a new addition without losing your mind and on becoming a family of 4.

Your 2nd Pregnancy: What to Expect This Time, by Katie Tamony...I thought this book was really helpful at addressing issues that seem to arise more in 2nd pregnancies. What's different, what's the same. It also addresses some of the emotional issues involved in adding another child, sibling stuff, becoming a family of 4, etc. All in all a very helpful book (I have even re-read some of it this time around!).

I also recommend books to prepare your little one for having a new sibling. I second the vote for "I'm a Big Sister". We have the brother version and my kids love it (they are 5 1/2 and almost 3 but my first was only 2 when we were reading it to him). Another book that I really like is "Hey, Little Baby!". It's all about the big sibling showing the little one what he/she can do and then offering to teach the baby when it gets older. Another good one is "Peter's Chair" by Ezra Jack Keats. It's about the big brother being possessive about his baby chair and not wanting the new baby to use it (of course he warms up in the end!). We also have one called "Waiting for Baby" that I really like. It's about delivery day drawing near and how the older child feels. We have one about the Berenstain Bear's new baby but I don't really care for it. It has an irritating quality for some reason and is very unrealistic!

Sorry this got so long...I love to read so I've got lots of opinions. :-) HTH!

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[atlbaby]

Thanks for the ideas!! I ordered 'I'm a Big Sister' and I already have the Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers (I think that's the title). I'll check out the other ones too!

I hope Arielle can get *something* out of the Big Sister book, even though it's geared towards older children.

Denise, since you like to read :) I'm wondering if you've heard of 'Twice Blessed: Everything You Need to Know About Having a Second Child-Preparing Yourself, Your Marriage, and Your Firstborn for a New Family of Four' by Joan Leonard, and also 'Loving Each One Best: A Caring and Practical Approach to Raising Siblings,' by Nancy Samalin? I've been looking at those two titles as well. I fully admit to being obsessed with the 1-->2 issue!!

Thanks again for the help!

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01

[parkersmama]

I haven't heard of "Twice Blessed"...maybe it's new since I was pregnant with #2? It sounds good, though! I often read reviews on Amazon for help (of course, the opinions hit all over the place!). I actually have "Loving Each One Best" and have read part of it so far. I really want to get back to it because it seems like a really good book! I have read "Siblings Without Rivalry" and I really liked it pretty well. Lots of my friends recommend it and have used it with their children. The format of it is slightly annoying to me (he uses these hypothetical groups of parents that are based on real groups he's worked with) but also includes summaries at the end of the chapters which I thought were great. It has lots of tips on how to deal with children of all ages and their interactions with each other. Check it out on Amazon and see what you think.

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[brubeck]

I actually think the Our New Baby book was even better than I'm A Big SIster because it had real photos of babies and toddlers together. My daughter still loves to look at these photos and my son is 2 months old now! I especially like that it has a (discreet) photo of Mom breastfeeding the baby while big brother looks on. My daughter didn't pay this any more attention than the other photos before, but since my son arrived she really looks at it a lot. I just tell her 'babies eat from Mommy's chest' and I think the photograph confirms for her that that's just the way it is; the baby isn't necessarily receiving special treatment.

Okay, enough on this book.

I haven't seen the Berenstain Bears book, but we have the Barney one and I agree that this character book is lame too!