Christening/Baptisms...questions about them...

[mama2be]

I am going to appear very ignorant on this point...so will confess that up front.

I was brought up with parents of two differnt religions, and who were liberal to all cultures and religions. Thus I have been exposed and appreciate so many diverse customs. Having grown up in this environment and over seas we never went to church and I know little about religious ceremonies due to that.

We had a destination wedding in my favorite part of the world Bucks County PA and assumed a Mayor of the town would have to marry us. We lucked out when in a round about way we were introduced to a Reverend from the sweetest little church (a one room school house at one time), who took us and treated us like he knew us our whole lives. My thought process is to return up there and have Tristan baptised there. IT is of major comfort to us there and so very special. Our readings at our wedding were not religious, and in fact we are asked all of the time for a copy of them so people can use them for their wedding, even the minister at the last wedding where they were read said they were perfect and wanted them to share with future brides and grooms he married.

With that said...what do I need to prepare a baptism/christening. Are poems read...I don't know anything about them. I remmber going to a few (one actually) as a child but of course didn't notice what was going on...I am from a very small family so no experience there.

After seeing Annette's gorgeous Sabrina in her pretty dress I am motivated to start planning this...any ideas or even a run down as to what is done would be greatly appreciated!!!

[juliasdad]

We're about 50 minutes from Buck's County and also like it quite a bit; in fact, we spent our wedding night and the night after at an inn there before heading off on our "official" honeymoon.

Baptisms/christening services are as varied as the churches that have them. I think that the first step in planning would be to contact the current minister of that church and find out what the service is usually like, what the requirements are, etc. Some religions and churches will require that the parents be a member of the church; some will require godparents of the same religion; and so on.

-dan

[Rachels]

We are an interfaith couple ourselves, so we designed our own ceremony performed by the unitarian minister who married us. Basically, we included annointing her with holy water, a service to sort of charge her godparents with their task as such and to thank them for taking on that role, two readings that we picked, and we asked our friends and family to read a welcoming blessing in unison to Abigail. (We wrote that part.) It was a beautiful service. If I had thought that my in-laws would be comfortable, I would have liked to go around and let everybody express a wish for her life or a blessing of their own. Instead, we had a book for that, and people wrote messages to her.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[parkersmama]

Hmmm. We are United Methodist (a fairly liberal denomination as these things go) and had both our boys baptized at church during the Sunday morning worship service. We used the baptism service out of the hymnal (the only service ever used at our church that I know of). Following that, we had a luncheon type reception at our house with friends and family. We don't designate godparents so that wasn't an important part of it for us. I do wonder...what is important to you about baptizing Tristan? In our tradition, baptism of infants is an outward symbol of the parents promising to raise the child in our faith. Is there any other reason to do it since it truly is a Christian ceremony? If you don't plan to raise him in the church, maybe it would be better to have a party or reception to welcome him to the world and skip the baptism part. Of course, I know that part of this is introducing him in the place where you were married so maybe I'm missing the boat. Sorry! Whatever you decide, it will be a special time to share him with family & friends!

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[mama2be]

Denise,

HMMMM????????

I thought it a time to honor not only him but for the god parents...and he will have god parents. I guess that is what my question was. I thought this is where they get introduced and honored as well. But no we will not be attending church there it is a good 8 hours from our home. Yet we go there every year with our closest friends it is a retreat of sorts. AND we honor our Anniversary with a monetary gift to that church and always will...

[mama2be]

OH Dan I am so jealous that you live there. I have been fortunate to have lived all over and to have traveled a lot...but Imust say Bucks county and NEW HOPE warm my heart as much as any place on this earth. I love New Hope...the food, the shops everything!!! It is so European up there...flowers don't get any prettier than up there in the summer (except Europe and maybe Hawaii)...and tubing down the Delaware with a beer (or few) is heaven to me :)...

You have to help me figure out how to tube with a baby :)...

[mama2be]

Rachel,

That is what I imagine, a very personnal event that introduces the god parents and incorporates readings of sorts (I didn't know if that was normal or not). the good news is the Reverand is very liberal and I think he really liked Steve and me so I don't think he would have a problem with us not being members nor our god parents. He is a class act!!! After all he gladly marrried us there, and sat with us at OUR table during our reception and stayed the whole time!!!!! We even got a Christmas gift that year from him, one he gave to all of the members of his church. He always tells me I am the only bride who ever stayed intouch with him that he married.

I didn't understand Denise's post below...it has me reconsidering even baptising him at all...

[COElizabeth]

Neve,

I think all the baptisms I have been to have been of the type Denise describes, where it is just a part of the regular church service, and a short one at that. If there are godparents in that denomination, they stand up, too, but there aren't any readings or anything like that, just the minister or priest sprinkling the baby with water and saying a blessing after the parents and godparents commit to raising the child in the church (not necessarily that specific location, just "the church" in general). Having said that, if the minister who married you will do a special service for you and let you incorporate readings and more personal touches, I think that would be wonderful. Selecting readings and music was the part of wedding planning I enjoyed most (well, maybe tied with cake testing - LOL!), and I would much prefer that kind of personalized ceremony for my baby's baptism. It's not traditional in certain denominations, but I think it sounds wonderful. I'd love to hear how it works out and your ideas.

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[etwahl]

Just my two cents. I think this ceremony should be whatever YOU want it to be and to mean whatever you want it to mean. Kind of like your own wedding. Especially if the Reverend is flexible, I think this is your chance to introduce Tristan in your own special way. I think you have ideas of what you'd like it to be, so I just urge you to go with it! I think it will be wonderful and special, and something you will always remember. I think it's particularly special that it would be at the same church where you and Steve got married. Those are the details that will mean the most to you :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[Annette_C]

Neve,
I had replied to your question on where I got Sabrina's Christening gown under my posting "Sabrina got her first tooth". I hope you had a chance to read it.
We celebrated Sabrina's Christening in the traditional Catholic way. That is, we contacted our church to find out what the requirements were (yes, every church even in the same religion could have different requirements). We had to attend a class (watch a video and hear a talk about the importance of baptism and raising the baby in our faith) and we were given a decorated candle, a white little robe, a book and an album/keepsake for the baptism's pictures.
The ceremony itself was held during regular Sunday Mass. It consisted of us, the parents, and the godparents bringing Sabrina up to the baptismal fountain and the priest asking us traditional baptism questions and pouring water on Sabrina's head. He concluded with a special prayer for her (and a comment that I must have had very bad heartburn while pregnant since Sabrina had so much hair!LOL). After the service, all the people present at Mass came over in the lobby to congratulate us and meet Sabrina.
Family and friends attended the ceremony and we all went to an Italian Country Club where I had planned the reception.
Sorry about the long reply but I wanted to answer in detail since you admitted to not knowing much about Baptisms/Christenings.
If you have any more questions or I can help in any way, please don't hesitate to ask.
Hugs,

Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

[alkagift]

Neve,
I've been a Methodist, converted to Catholic, and just went to our best friends' Unitarian baptism last weekend as the godparents!

Sabrina and Denise are right, in that for some churches, the point of the thing is to baptize the child in that faith and some are obviously more structured than others. My church doesn't baptize during Mass, but has a special event on Saturdays instead.

The unitarian service, however, incorporated more of what you say you want--and the reverend's statement said that the parents (and godparents) would help the child see that faith was important to him/her and help the child make a decision, if asked. The reverend did baptize with a bit of water in the name of the trinity, although it was expressed differently. I think it was beautiful and meaningful--especially when, at the end of the baptism, the reverend invited the entire congregation up to the front to put their hand on the shoulders of the parents and godparents, then the ones further back put their hands on the backs of those people, and so on until the entire congregation was connected. Then he had a blessing that blessed the child, the family, and the entire congregation. It was different for me, coming from a pretty structured religious background, but it was very neat for everyone.

Allison
EDD 5/27/03

[parkersmama]

"Hmmmmm" was meant to be like the sound.....you know...hummm, I'm thinking of an answer. Sorry...confusing with all the internet abbreviations out there!

Anyway, I hope I didn't offend you. I don't have a lot of experience with the godparent issue since our denomination doesn't do that. I do think it is a nice tradition, though. And, like someone else said, I meant "church" in general rather than the specific one you'll be having the ceremony in. Our baptism service involves the parents promising to raise the child as a Christian. If the minister at this church is open to different types of baptisms (sounds like he is!) that is great and hopefully you guys will be able to come up with a ceremony that suits your needs as a family and honors both your son and the godparents. It will be really nice to have him baptized there where it is so special to you and you can visit again and again. I love places in our life like that. They hold so many fond memories and each visit back is special. :-)

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003