I'm not prepared for this! Don't know what to do with my one year old *o* (long, sorry)

[Kate888]

No kidding, ever since Maya had her first birthday, she is like a totally different baby! The change is like overnight. Now she always plays with her food and refuses most of the food that we offered. We've been trying our best to think of food that she might like. She even hates her favorite bananas and Gerber baby food (Stage 3). I know this is normal, but her weight is on the low percentile and she looks little for her age (28", 18 3/4 lbs).

Her sleep schdule is totally disrupted, too. She used to sleep from 9:30 p.m. to around 5:30 in the morning, nurse, then sleep some more till 8:00. She only fussed a little when we put her to bed. But now, she tries her best NOT to sleep. She keeps crying and crying, standing in her crib, holding on to the rails and won't fall asleep on her own. Last night she didn't give up until 11:00 and finally got exhausted, but woke up at one, then three, then six o'clock and refused to go back to bed after that. I had to nurse her when she woke up. Although I know this is probably not a good idea, but for the past two night, she cried for at least 30 mins demanding to be nursed. CIO doesn't seem to work any more (she used to fuss for about 10-15 minutes during the night, then fell back asleep). She usually had good naps during the day, too. Not anymore!! Is it teething, seperation anxiety or something else?

I ordered some books from Amazon today, hoping to find an answer. How long will this "adjusting" period last? How do I get her to get some more sleep???

Thanks!

Kate
Mom to Maya 2-17-02

[Tondi G]

Oooh my vote would be with Teething!!!! My son had so much trouble with his Molars... which come in after they turn 1!!! I found that anytime he was teething he had broken sleep.... sometimes for months at a time.... I felt like I had a newborn all over again! All we could do was give him Motrin/Advil at bed time and maybe some teething gell if there was an area that looked swollen/red! He was the same way with the nursing too... he just cried and carried on to be nursed till I gave in... we both needed to sleep!Nursing in the ultimate Comfort thing for my son and I figure it really isn't hurting anyone to let him nurse a little at night when he's going through a rough patch! It lasted for a while but he went back to his 2 hour afternoon nap and sleeping through the night (most nights!) though I think his cuspids (fangs) are on their way so I'm gearing myself up for possible sleepless nights!

Good Luck.... this will soon pass!

~Tondi and Mason 7/8/01!

[Kate888]

Thanks Tondi! It's a relief to know that there is a reason behind all this. DH and I are so stressed out due to lack of sleep. Maya only has four teeth on top and three on the bottom so far. I'm just afraid that nursing in the middle of the night will make her wake up regularly like when she was little. She is just so much persistant than before. This afternoon she was exhausted but wouldn't calm down and cried for an hour and a half! She finally fell asleep in her daddy's arms but woke up as soon as he put her in the crib. Guess she is getting smarter, too...

Kate

[egoldber]

Wow. That's a lot going on all at once.

It is TOTALLY normal for their appetites to fall off DRAMATICALLY around 12 months. They are no longer growing at the same rate as they were previously, so their appetites diminish. So I would really try not to worry about the quantity of food that she is eating. She will not starve herself. And as you move into the toddler phase, making a battle out of meals is not something you want to start! If you are still giving her baby food, she may be indicating by refusing her food that she is ready for more challenging foods and textures. But it is very common for toddlers to start refusing foods that were favorites. Many toddlers go in cycles with foods. Over time as long as you continue to offer her a variety of nutritious foods to eat, she will do just fine.

The sleep issues could be teeth. An easy way to see if that's the case is to dose her with Motrin before bed. If that helps, then it's probably teeth. If it's not teeth, then here are some more ideas. Is she is still taking two naps a day? If so, she may be ready to drop the morning nap and that could be affecting her night time sleep.

If she is only taking one nap, try giving her a snack before bed. While toodler food consumption does diminish sometimes thay get so busy during the day that they don't eat enough and need a bedtime snack. Sometimes when my DD doesn't eat well during the day, she will refuse to sleep until she gets a snack. If you don't want to do a bedtime snack, try timing dinner to be closer to bedtime.

Hope something here helps! Hang in there!

[egoldber]

Oh that sounds like she is REALLY overtired. It's the strangest thing, but when they don't get enough sleep, they have a hard time going to sleep. Weird.

[cara1]

My DS also just turned 1 (2/4), and we all think he is different, too. More a little boy. (I feel so sad about him not really being a baby anymore, but that's another story). In the past week, he's really been "spreading his wings" , so to speak, with respect to walking. At the same time, he seems to be much more clingy. He holds on to me for dear life sometimes. He's been much more shy when we go visiting. And sometimes when I put him in his crib, he not only screams (which he's done before), but he reaches up and GRABS on to me and won't let go.

I sort of feel like in some ways, he's growing up and moving on, and so go compensate, he's also becoming more clingy.

Could this be why it's harder to get Maya to go to sleep?

[Kate888]

Oh, Maya is definately more clingy recently, too. When we went to the gym's child center, she wouldn't let go of me. Everytime other babies or the sitter came close, she just grabbed on to me, which didn't happen before. Your suggestion makes sense. How come I didn't notice it :)

One reason that I was worried about Maya's sleep problem was that during the 1 yr check up, the nurse said to me "she is NOT sleeping through the night?" like it shouldn't happen. The look on her face made me feel guilty of something. Even my mom said baby this age should sleep through the night. These incidents made me question myself "did I do something wrong?"

I really appreciate everyone's help here. I've learned a lot everyday. People here are just so kind and knowledgeable.

Thanks a lot!

Kate

[Kate888]

Beth, I never thought of dropping one of the naps, because she used to nap beautifully twice a day. But today she protested against being put to bed in the afternoon even though she was tired. Fortunately, she fell asleep at 9:00 p.m. I'll observe more closely tomorrow morning to see if she really needs to nap.

She usually has dinner at about six and I'll nurse her at around eight or nine (she'll ask for it). Is that enough? What's a good bedtime snack?

Thank you Beth for being so helpful and comforting. "She will not starve herself". Oh, I think I can sleep better tonight (if Maya allows me :))

Kate

[LisaS]

Kate,

My DD turned 1 a month ago and is definitely changing her sleeping patterns too. Used to have 2 naps (1 hr in the a.m. followed by 2 hrs in the p.m./midday) but just started fighting the a.m. nap - takes her longer and longer to get to sleep. But, I find that most mornings, she still needs at least a "rest" even if just for 20 minutes - so I put her in her crib and let her talk to herself for a while...if she falls asleep, great, if not, not. I just call it quits after she's been in there for close to an hour and then nap her earlier for the afternoon - she usually has a better and longer afternoon nap when she skips the morning nap. Its so frustrating how their schedules change just when you think you've got it under control.

DD also used to go to bed at 7 and wake up at 7/7:30...but lately, she is going to sleep and waking up abt an hour later. Which I shouldn't complain, except that DH works late - never home before 9/10 at night and the only time during the week he sees DD is in the a.m.....so now he wakes her in the a.m. so he can see her for a few minutes.

She is also definitely more opinionated abt food and less hungry, but a LOT more thirsty...she probably drinks at least 20 oz of water /day in addition to 15oz milk.

You might want to try giving her more to drink...maybe even a cup of water at bedtime too would help if not a snack. B/c as great as milk is, sometimes, IMO, babies just want their thirst quenched...not necessarily something as filling as milk.

Good luck.

[egoldber]

She may not be ready to drop a nap, I was just trying to throw out ideas. But one clue is to evaluate the quality of her naps. If she is taking two poor naps instead of two good ones, she may be ready to drop down to one good, longer nap. You may want to try not giving her a morning nap one day and see how it goes. Probably most babies drop the morning nap sometime between 12 and 18 months. Sarah still takes a morning nap most days if we are home, but if we are out she doesn't need one, so we are still in the transition process.

As far as a bedtime snack, I guess I personally don't make a distinction between snack food and meal foods. Last night for her snack, Sarah had yogurt and green beans. Sometimes it's cheese and crackers. Sometimes, a fig newton and grapes, etc. Sometimes she's really hungry at snack and sometimes she doesn't want it. One night at "snack" she ate a yogurt, a whole serving of baby cereal, 2 fig newtons and some crackers! I really just follow her lead. If she still seems hungry I give her more, if she doesn't want it, I take it away. Left to their own devices, babies learn to self-regulate their calorie intake.

HTH,

[atlbaby]

Coming into this a little late...

Well, I've been *itching about Arielle's naps for a while now--she's taking a morning nap right now though--YAY!!--and like others have said, the biggest problem for me is that *just* when you think you've got it figured out, BAM! they'll change it up!

Arielle was napping 2 times a day beautifully and sleeping from about 8:30-7:45 until last week...Now she's getting up at 6:45 and refusing her AM nap for some reason, until today that is--so maybe I'll just blame it on teething or getting a cold, or both! :)

I find I feel much better when I have a reason (however far-fetched it may be!) to attribute poor sleeping/crankiness to...

As for the food issues, I've also found it *much* harder to feed Arielle the past month or so. Our problem seems to be that she can't tell me what she wants and just whines or points randomly indicating she wants *something* and it's my job to guess! Fun fun fun! It's very frustrating for her (and me!)

Because she doesn't always eat a lot at mealtimes nowadays, I have begun giving her a snack before her afternoon nap and before bed. She'll let me know if she wants it by standing under her high chair and pulling on the tray! I also usually give her meal foods (cheese, pasta, crackers, GRAPES!, etc)...

I hope this has been somewhat helpful--let us know how things are going!


-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01

[Kate888]

Thanks guys!! I did have a better day today. She woke up once at 4 a.m. I nursed her and she went right back to sleep, then up at six o'clock . She napped twice during the day and had a better appetite. Just like Arielle, she points randomly indicating she wants "something" on the island to play with :)

Once I accept the fact that she is changing, I feel less frustrated. From your experiences, I learned to pay more attention to what she is "telling" me. It helps a lot.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts :) I love reading stories about your babies!

Kate
Mom to Maya 2-17-02

[JulieL]

My DS is 11 months old, he has 8 teeth and teethed very early at 4 months. By 6 1/2 months they were all in most of the way. Now my little guy also has been sleeping worse. I am sure his molars are moving. But his front middle teeth took much longer than the others to come through so I figure the molars may take a while. And eating has been well frustrating and interesting all at once. He swats his food away. Spits the meat out and general takes forever to eat. I have read and been told that with new foods , as I have been giving him gerber graduate foods, that it takes 16 tries for them to accept an individual food, great! I figure one day I'll sleep through the night. He has probably slept through the night about 5 times, ever. He is on a schedule but I guess he just is needy. Stick in there, I know I am trying too!!!

[Kate888]

And eating has been well
>frustrating and interesting all at once. He swats his food
>away. Spits the meat out and general takes forever to eat.

I thought you were talking about Maya LOL! She likes to spit food out and squeeze it with her hands :) DH and I have to take turns feeding her (only at dinner when he is off work) to keep our sanity :)

I got a white-noise machine from BRU and it helps Maya to fall asleep better. She likes the "gentle rain". And you're right, one day we'll sleep through the night...(last time I slept through the night was before my labor began) ;)

Kate
Mom to Maya 2-17-02