lmintzer
02-25-2003, 12:50 AM
Hi. I am a long-time lurker and infrequent poster on the Baby Bargains boards (my stroller-obsession keeps me reading even though I don't have a lot of time to write). I have been following the posts in this forum for a while and thought I should introduce myself.
My name is Lisa, and my ds, Jack, is 22 months. I am 30, and dh is 33. We live in the Chicago area. I was a full time SAHM for my son's first 18 months. I never planned to stay home quite that long, but we had a difficult first year with Jack which left me feeling too depleted to return to the type of work I do any sooner. I am a clinical psychology post-doc (defended my dissertation while I was 15 weeks pregnant) who was lucky enough to find a post-doc placement that would take me half-time for 2 years instead of full-time for 1. I am working with pediatric burn patients, which is a new populaton for me. You can imagine how rough this is (most people I tell either respond with "how can you do that?" or a blank look), and as a parent, it's even heavier. But, as I have a strong interest in researching and treating traumatic stress in medically ill/injured, I am determined to stick with this, at least for the time being. It really helps that my direct supervisor is also a daddy of a toddler. He and I talk often about the challenges of juggling family and career and about the impact of this kind of work on family life.
A little more about Jack, who is quite an interesting little guy. . . as a psychologist (who studied child development, etc.), I thought I was ready for parenthood. Well, I was ready, but I wasn't ready for our little whirlwind. From day one (born at 37 weeks via c-section), he was extra-alert and a poor sleeper. He then developed colick which lasted for 3+ miserable months, and his sleep suffered afterward, as does the sleep of many colicky babies. I didn't realize then just how off his sleep was--for ex., he didn't nap in the house at all, even as a newborn. He'd sleep in the stroller, in the car. I just kept getting more and more tired and frustrated at myself for not accomplishing even the simplest tasks at home. People would say "why don't you nap when the baby sleeps?" Ha. If I could sleep while driving or walking, I'd probably have done that. Jack didn't sleep through the night (even remotely) until 9-10 months, and even then, he was up nursing at 5:00 a.m. until around his first birthday. The sleep deprivation really took its toll on dh and me. We wound up going to the famous Dr. Weissbluth for a sleep consult, which was helpful in some ways. But it wasn't just sleep that was hard. Jack had serious nursing problems that lasted 4 1/2 months. I knew that establishing a good nursing relationship could take time, but I had no idea that it could take that long. We, thankfully, were living in Los Angeles for the first 10 weeks of his life, where we had access to some of the best nursing help I've come across--this amazing "breastfeeding Mecca" called "The Pump Station". The lactation consultant there really pulled us through. She was my cheerleader, my therapist, a shoulder to cry on, and gave us loads of good suggestions. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did at first--failure to regain birth weight, disorganized suck, latching problems, low milk supply. For 2 months, I pumped 7 times/day and bottle fed to get him enough milk. This was in addition to nursing which didn't provide ds with enough milk. I guess I have quite the stubborn streak, because our lactation consultant couldn't give us stats. on the odds of him learning to nurse that many months out--she told me that no one she had worked with for the past 18 years had ever tried for that long given similar troubles. At any rate, to make a long story a little shorter, he finally "learned" to nurse at 4 months, and I was able to basically give up pumping. I breastfed Jack until he self-weaned at 15 months.
So yes, a rough year. We also maxed out the life stress scale by moving cross country with a 10 week old, buying our first house, and dh started his first job as an attending physician.
Jack is now an active, very engaging toddler. DH and I call "personality precocious". We also have called him "high needs", "spirited". Other might call him "willful" and "difficult temperament". We try to avoid those negative labels.
At any rate, I resonate with a lot of the struggles people post about--especially those about sleep problems, feeding problems, loss of self issues, loss of free time. We've been there or are right there with you!
Sorry this is so long. I'm glad to join such a nice group of intelligent, kind women.
Best,
Lisa
& Jack, 22 months
My name is Lisa, and my ds, Jack, is 22 months. I am 30, and dh is 33. We live in the Chicago area. I was a full time SAHM for my son's first 18 months. I never planned to stay home quite that long, but we had a difficult first year with Jack which left me feeling too depleted to return to the type of work I do any sooner. I am a clinical psychology post-doc (defended my dissertation while I was 15 weeks pregnant) who was lucky enough to find a post-doc placement that would take me half-time for 2 years instead of full-time for 1. I am working with pediatric burn patients, which is a new populaton for me. You can imagine how rough this is (most people I tell either respond with "how can you do that?" or a blank look), and as a parent, it's even heavier. But, as I have a strong interest in researching and treating traumatic stress in medically ill/injured, I am determined to stick with this, at least for the time being. It really helps that my direct supervisor is also a daddy of a toddler. He and I talk often about the challenges of juggling family and career and about the impact of this kind of work on family life.
A little more about Jack, who is quite an interesting little guy. . . as a psychologist (who studied child development, etc.), I thought I was ready for parenthood. Well, I was ready, but I wasn't ready for our little whirlwind. From day one (born at 37 weeks via c-section), he was extra-alert and a poor sleeper. He then developed colick which lasted for 3+ miserable months, and his sleep suffered afterward, as does the sleep of many colicky babies. I didn't realize then just how off his sleep was--for ex., he didn't nap in the house at all, even as a newborn. He'd sleep in the stroller, in the car. I just kept getting more and more tired and frustrated at myself for not accomplishing even the simplest tasks at home. People would say "why don't you nap when the baby sleeps?" Ha. If I could sleep while driving or walking, I'd probably have done that. Jack didn't sleep through the night (even remotely) until 9-10 months, and even then, he was up nursing at 5:00 a.m. until around his first birthday. The sleep deprivation really took its toll on dh and me. We wound up going to the famous Dr. Weissbluth for a sleep consult, which was helpful in some ways. But it wasn't just sleep that was hard. Jack had serious nursing problems that lasted 4 1/2 months. I knew that establishing a good nursing relationship could take time, but I had no idea that it could take that long. We, thankfully, were living in Los Angeles for the first 10 weeks of his life, where we had access to some of the best nursing help I've come across--this amazing "breastfeeding Mecca" called "The Pump Station". The lactation consultant there really pulled us through. She was my cheerleader, my therapist, a shoulder to cry on, and gave us loads of good suggestions. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did at first--failure to regain birth weight, disorganized suck, latching problems, low milk supply. For 2 months, I pumped 7 times/day and bottle fed to get him enough milk. This was in addition to nursing which didn't provide ds with enough milk. I guess I have quite the stubborn streak, because our lactation consultant couldn't give us stats. on the odds of him learning to nurse that many months out--she told me that no one she had worked with for the past 18 years had ever tried for that long given similar troubles. At any rate, to make a long story a little shorter, he finally "learned" to nurse at 4 months, and I was able to basically give up pumping. I breastfed Jack until he self-weaned at 15 months.
So yes, a rough year. We also maxed out the life stress scale by moving cross country with a 10 week old, buying our first house, and dh started his first job as an attending physician.
Jack is now an active, very engaging toddler. DH and I call "personality precocious". We also have called him "high needs", "spirited". Other might call him "willful" and "difficult temperament". We try to avoid those negative labels.
At any rate, I resonate with a lot of the struggles people post about--especially those about sleep problems, feeding problems, loss of self issues, loss of free time. We've been there or are right there with you!
Sorry this is so long. I'm glad to join such a nice group of intelligent, kind women.
Best,
Lisa
& Jack, 22 months