Best information re newborn (prevention of SIDS and other...)

[etwahl]

I realized this weekend I need to prepare some brief literature for my mother before I have the baby and she comes to visit, otherwise I'm afraid I might kill her...seriously :)

Can anyone point me towards the best location for information on caring for a newborn, specifically:

- SIDS prevention
- their weakened immune systems
- other important information regarding a newborn

The reason this has come up is because in talking to her, and telling her how I was concerned about anyone touching my child without washing their hands, or strangers in public just touching her, she thought I was crazy. I told her that a newborn has a weakened immune system and needs to be protected. She said "Actually, they don't..."

Also, in talking to my SIL, she said that my mom used to tell her to put her babies on their stomachs to sleep. She said no, she put them on their backs to sleep. I don't think she happened to specifically mention SIDS to my mother at the time, but she said that every time my mother cared for them, she would find them asleep on their stomachs.

I have no problem whatsoever setting out rules when she gets here, but I would also like to have the literature to back me. I don't want to buy a "grandmother's book" at this time for this purpose, because I want it to be a quick read for now. I just want to head her off with accurate information, since we all know how things have changed since she was a mother to a newborn. I just know that since I will be exhausted, I won't have the energy to "babysit" her and need to give her very specific rules when she gets here about my child. Also, if you can think of any other good "rules" I should set out at this time, that would be extremely helpful as well.

Thanks everyone.

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[egoldber]

Tammy, when I delivered the hospital sent me home with a HUGE stack of info, including pamphlets on SIDS and newborn care. For SIDS stuff, also look here: http://www.sidsalliance.org/index/default.asp

And here's my bad mommy confession of the day: I was not a compulsive hand washer around my newborn. I asked my ped about this and about the common wisdom of not taking your baby out before 30 days. He told me there was no science to back that up and that breastfed babies were getting mom's antibodies and to not worry about it. Wash your hands after diaper changes, of course, but I was told there was no need to wash hands before picking up the baby every time.

There are of course exceptions to this. Preemie babies, babies in the NICU and those with compromised immune systems need special care. And if someone is sick, they should certainly wash their hands. But there is actually more and more evidence that says that overcleanliness with a child as they are growing up is NOT a healthy thing and may be part of what is causing the astronomical increase in asthma and allergies that we are seeing today. It is interesting to note that in countries with generally poor hygeine, these diseases (asthma and allergies) are virtually unheard of, whereas they have become rampant in western, industrialized nations.

HTH,

[jojo2324]

Thirty days!! I took Gannon out after 10! Am I horrible? I was just dying to get out of the house! Actually, my MIL went to KMart the other day with her TWO day old! It was all I could do to stop myself from saying, "Are you crazy?!?!" That seemed a little early to me.

I was the same as Beth...Didn't go overboard with the hand washing. I had a few bottles of Purell around the house too. But I found that people outside the family were pretty consistent in respecting the hand washing rule. Of course, when I did go out, everybody and their dog wanted to come up and touch him. One woman said to me once, "Oh, you probably don't want me to do that." I said I didn't really mind, babies need to get a little dirty every once in a while. She said that she was a microbiologist and I had the right idea...

But I would definitely check out the SIDS Alliance page...THAT is something that is of utmost importance. And since she is your mother, you might not feel the need to bite your tongue if you catch her putting your little one on her belly. I certainly didn't...:D

[Rachels]

I'l scout around for some additional info, but meanwhile, keep in mind that you're offering your baby a ton of protection by breastfeeding. Every time she eats, she'll be stocking up on antibodies. She'll be fine!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[egoldber]

Well, I was discharged at 4 days (C section) and we were at Target the next day! And while I may not have been compulsive about my own family washing their hands, the way TOTAL STRANGERS want to touch your baby is VERY bizarre to me. I mean, hygeine aside, isn't it just RUDE to poke at someone else's baby without at least ASKING?????

[mamahill]

We went out at 8 days on a diaper run to BRU. Hey, when you need diapers RIGHT NOW, whateryagonnado? We kept her hands covered in public for the first few weeks - for some reason people always go for the itty bitty hands. And when people came over to our house, we politely asked them to wash their hands before picking her up for the first month. We did't know where they had been! But I appreciated how many people just walked in and said, "Oooh, where's the soap? I want to hold her!"

[mama2be]

I would still take precautions breast feeding or not...

My neighbors child was born 10 days before Tristan and is breastfed and he is BY FAR more healthy than hers was from The get go and she was a week late...

SO THE BREASTFEEDING THING DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY BUY YOU A FREE TICKET NOT TO WORRY ABOUT THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Andrea S]

I must have been the only first time mom nerotic one here!! I did not take Andrew out for the first month except to Dr.'s appt and latation consultant then when I took him grocery shopping I had someone I work with say I can not believe you are taking him out I did not take my baby out for 3 months. I do not think it necessary to stay in for the first month it just made me feel better. I did make everyone wash their hands before they held him especially when they first came in the door like it was said above you never know where they have been. DH and I did not wash our hands everytime we picked him up. I am a PICU nurse so everyone excepted me to be a germ fobic. I was also fortunate my mother or MIL did not challenge me on any of my care decisions.

I think it is a good idea to have everything ready so your wishes are known ahead of time. I bet the Academy of Pediatrics has some stuff on SIDS.

Good luck!!

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[jojo2324]

Well, how do you like this? The same MIL who went to KMart with her four day old (sorry, forgot to add on the two day stay in the hospital) doesn't want us coming over to the house!!

Basically, last Tuesday DH mentioned to her that he felt like he could be coming down with something because his throat felt a little scratchy. Cut to Friday, and DH telling his father that we might pop over on Saturday. "OH NO!! You can't do that! (His wife) said that you had a cold!" DH let him know what had actually been said, and also that the scratchiness had gone away, and he didn't feel sick at all. "Well, you can't come over, it would make her too nervous."

Now, we are NOT going to go over there if we have colds. We know better than that. I just thought it was weird that she would be nervous about that and not traipsing through a public place. But it's her baby and her comfort level, so I respect her wishes.

[ddmarsh]

I have dealt with this with my mother for such a long time and now I look at it like I'm never going to actually convince her that I am "right." Over time I have learned to just keep repeating my standards of safety and the things that I do with my children and state that they are how I would like things done.

I have said to my mother that she doesn't have to believe or not believe the things I state, but she does have to respect that that is how things are going to be done. I guess because it seems in the past I was trying so hard to convince her and it seemed I went blue in the face, that I finally realized that it was time to try a new approach.

Another thing is that it's ok if they get angry that you are not doing it "their" way or they think you are being overly cautious. What matters most is that you continue to do what is best for your child. My M AND FIL were not pleased with my husband recently over an incident involving seat belts and my husband just simply told them that they could not drive the children and he did it himself.

Good luck - it's tough b/c you constantly wonder how on earth they can NOT get it!

Debbie

[KathyO]

No, it doesn't, but the more I read, the more I think that the "hygiene hypothesis" is quite true, and that babies actually require germ exposure to get their "immune system starter kit" functioning the way it's intended to. There was a huge European study (I can dig up the URL on Medscape if anyone's interested) that demonstrated that the more colds babies have in the first few years, the lower their chances of developing asthma later on. The interesting part was that colds in the first year seemed to "count more" towards counteracting asthma than colds in later years. Collateral studies of children who live in germ-laden environments (farms, daycares, families with multiple sibs) corroborate this finding. It's really fascinating.

FWIW, Tammy, we were out and about with DD at five days old. I was just too tired to go anywhere before that! But by all means, make sure Ma reads the stats on backsleeping and SIDS. You'll spend enough time worrying about whether the wee thing is still breathing (I was galloping in to check every fifteen minutes, the first couple of weeks) without worrying about that as well.

Best,

KathyO

[flagger]

Honestly is better NOT to have Purelle around the house. All you need is just plain soap (not antibacterial) and warm water. Wash your hands and forearm 1/3 to the elbow and between the fingers. If you want to know how long, just sing your ABC's or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

There is evidence which suggests that anitbacterial soap wipes away the good bacteria from our hands. I know you want to err on the side of caution, but babies do get sick and they start to build their own immunities. (This of course assumes a healthy baby at birth).

As far as coming into the room and finding your baby to be on his stomach, just turn him or her over. Your MIL did manage to raise DH after all. It would bring peace to the house just to state your case but not argue over it after the fact.

That's just my $.02 FWIW.

[parkersmama]

I wasn't very cautious about the staying home thing either. I know with Wesley, he was born on Thursday, I was discharged on Friday, and on Saturday my mom & I took the kids to the mall! Of course, he was my second and I don't remember how long we stayed in with Parker (I was in the hospital 4 days...c-section). I do think that putting the little mittens on them in public is a good idea. Even very young babies put their hands in their mouths and you don't want germy people touching their hands if you can help it. Otherwise, we weren't too worried about germs. A lot of people who had colds just called and said "congrats and I'll see you when my cold goes away" which I really appreciated. And like someone else mentioned, a lot of people volunteer right off to wash their hands.

As far as SIDS and back-sleeping go, you're going to just have to hand her the info you can get on SIDS and put your foot down about it. You can do this nicely by saying, "Mom, I know that babies used to be put to sleep on their backs but research has proven that back-sleeping has reduced the number of SIDS deaths in this country significantly. It's very important to me that you put the baby down on her back so please help me out by doing that. It will really make this new mommy less nervous!" If you make it sound like "I know I'm nervous but this'll help" it may make her more open to doing it your way. Otherwise, if you don't think she'll do it, just make sure that you check on the baby whenever she puts her down or do it yourself. Not the best way but you've got to protect that child. :-)

As for general baby care, I think you'll find that everyone and their cousin has advice for you and thinks they know the best way...even people whose children were born back in the 40s!! I found that for the most part just smiling and nodding and then doing it my way worked the best. If it's someone close to me (my mother, grandmother, or MIL) I did have to occasionally put my foot down. It's not easy but believe me you'll get used to it quickly and it'll get lots easier when it's your baby that you're protecting.

Sorry that I don't have any sites for you to try really but I'd think that www.askdrsears.com probably has good info on these items.

good luck!

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[Karenn]

Hi Tammy,
I did a bunch of research on "safety" for my MIL for the same reason you're wanting to get research for your mom. "The Danny Foundation" had a bunch of good information about crib safety, including SIDS. I also refered to the the American Academy of Pediatrics frequently. I got very familliar with their recommendations on what I knew were going to be "hot topics" so that I could just say, "Well, the AAP recommends..." and that usually ended most disputes pretty quickly.

[http://www.dannyfoundation.org/safety.html]
[http://www.aap.org/]

Good luck.

[C99]

Well, I have a preemie and I stopped being psycho about the washing of the hands thing after he had been home for 2 weeks. Now, granted, Nate was only a preemie by 2 weeks and he was in the hospital for 8 days, but I stopped asking people to wash their hands to hold him a few weeks ago. And we've been fortunate; no one in public has EVER touched him. I went out w/ him for the first time when he was nearly 2 weeks old b/c I was going stir-crazy. Everything I've read says that as long as baby is with you, you're both ok.

[dogmom]

I can really sympathize with your situation. My MIL keeps asking questions and saying things that make my DH wonder how he survived his childhood. (Maybe there is a reason he is an only child.) She is probably wondering why at 6 weeks we haven't taken her up on any of her numerous babysitting offers. We decided to make her take a infant CPR class before she can watch the baby alone. All the other people on our "approved" list know infant CPR. I'm almost positive they mention the SID/sleep connection in the classes also.

I can offer you another suggestion. If the literature isn't enough, I'm sure the pediatrician's office would be happy to talk to your mother and insist that the baby be put to sleep on his or her back.

Good luck!

Jeanne
Mother of Harvey