Typical Day for a 3-4 month old?

[kclm]

Hello,

This is undoubtedly a silly question, so please bear with me. :) I am a first-time SAHM. DS is 3 1/2 months old. I'm wondering if I am stimulating him enough, interacting with him enough, etc. Typically, when he's not napping or feeding, he'll watch his mobile maybe 20-30 minutes, play with a kick-toy 20-30 minutes (Fisher-Price Kick N Drive gym, which he adores & I highly recommend it!), play on his activity mat about the same or a bit longer, and perhaps be in his swing for 15 minutes. The rest of the time, I read him books, walk around with him while I do my daily tasks or take him on errands, give him a bit of tummy time, or play some games like peekaboo with him or hold him propped up while he plays with toys like a large rattle that he likes but which I have to shake for him. Is this about right? What is a typical day like for this age? How much time should he spend "alone"--i.e., playing by himself on his mat or with his kick-toy or watching his mobile, etc., versus time spent interacting with me? What do all of you do with your babies all day? And how does this change as he will age--will it be the same when he's 5, 6, 7 months, etc.?

Thanks very much in advance!

Karen
Tad, 11/21/02

[Magda]

Karen,

It sounds to me like this is a great balence and range of activities for your son. I don't think there is any formula to decide how long to play certain games.

We do activities (eat, bathe, dress, play) when DS is awake, and when he is asleep I try to get things done in the house. I usually spend the mornings at home and if there are errands to run, I do them after DS's morning nap. So at least he gets in one good nap a day.

Elaine

[egoldber]

Other than tummy time, there is no "need" to actively stimulate a young infant. They get plenty of stimulation just from watching you go about your activities and being near you. If he likes to spend time alone, on a mat or blanket or in a bouncy, then great. If not, then I wouldn't sweat it.

Things change DRAMATICALLY as they get older. :) Once they start to roll over and get mobile, life is completely different. Again, there is no need to really provide stimulation, infants under one find plenty of stimulation in the average house with a parent that interacts with them (as opposed to leaving them in a crib or playpen all day). Your job will then be to keep him from hurting himself as he finds new things to do and explore.

You are doing great. :) If you haven't already, I would try to find a local playgroup to participate in. This playgroup is for your benefit, not your baby's. :) It will provide you with stimulation, a peer support group, and also give you new ideas about things to do with your baby. When your baby is much older (2 and up) then these babies will be a real playgroup for him.

HTH,

[emilyf]

Karen, Charlies was born just 3 days after Tad and our day is pretty similar, although I'm not sure we even get that much activity in. I find that he really needs to sleep a lot still- he can't take much more than an hour and a half of wake time, and he spends 20-30 minutes of that eating. So, he loves his mobile- watches that every day, and the rest of the time he just hangs out with me-we try to take a dog for a walk when it's not too cold, he spends some time in the swing and I try to sneak in a little tummy time here and there. I was visiting with friends yesterday who have a 5 month old and a 6 month old and boy was the difference astounding. They were sitting up, grabbing things, playing with toys. We took some pictures of the 3 of them and poor Charlie just sat there propped on the couch!

Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02

[juliasdad]

I agree with Beth... and I think that it's easy to fall into a trap of projecting our own feelings onto our babies. "She must be bored out of her skull", or "she never gets to see me, she must feel like I don't care". And these are nothing but projections, IMO.

It sounds to me, as others have said, as though you have a great balance of alone and together stimulus! I wouldn't try to actively give more. The time a baby spends on its own, just staring at whatever it happens to find interesting at the moment, is probably every bit as valuable as assisted playtime. And I think that not allowing a baby some space can lead to nighttime problems, where the baby, at its frequent night wakings, expects to be stimulated rather than learning to keep itself occupied until it can soothe itself back to sleep.

-dan