Baby honeymoon already over...

[KimberleyDawn]

Hello,
Congrats to all our Feb. and Mar. arrivals!!!!
William is fussy!!! As you already know William is just over 2 wks old and our baby honeymoon is over already!!! Gone are the days that he did nothing other than eat and sleep (how short that lasted)!!!!!! William still eats about every 3 1/2- 4 hours but I find that he seems upset all the time and hard to comfort for any length of time. Here are my questions:
-Is it okay to pick him up the second he starts to fuss and continue to hold him for 1-2 hours during the day for fear of upsetting him by putting him down? (he is sleeping from midnight to 3:45 am with no problem)
-How much is too much gripe water in a day (been giving it to him after his 4pm and 8pm feed because those are definitely his gassy times)?
-What if I'm giving him the gripe water and it isn't really gas? It seems like that is the problem based on the books but I have my doubts. (always doubting everything I do!!!!)
-Is it alright to not be doing tummy play right now? (he seems to hate it and actually flips himself onto his back when I try)
-Is it okay that the baby is more in our arms and bouncy chair (on vibrate mode) than in his bassinet or crib?
-Can you feed on demand with formula (more than every 3 1/2-4 hours)? If yes, how do you know when you are giving too many feedings and how much per feeding?
Sorry to bombard you with questions but I'm am really doubting my parenting skills at the moment and I'm finding it hard to make sense of all the info I have from my books. I also have become VERY VERY emotional lately which is making thinking on my own hard.
Hugs,
Kim

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[COElizabeth]

Kim,

I don't even know what gripe water is, so I can't help you there, but yes, it's perfectly fine to pick up William whenever he wants to be held and to hold him or have him in his bouncy more than in the crib right now. Some studies show the more you hold and comfort them now, the less they will cry later on, and it's impossible to "spoil" a baby so young. Does he really roll over already? Wow! You have a real acrobat on your hands! I don't think tummy time does much good right now. He needs to learn better head control so he can lift up his head when he is on his tummy. So you would be fine to hold off on tummy time for a few weeks, I think. And I don't know for sure about formula feedings, but I don't think you can over-feed a baby as young as he is. I wouldn't try to force him to finish a bottle, but if he genuinely seems hungry I think it's fine to feed on demand. And also, FWIW, you will probably get a "second honeymoon" when he outgrows the fussiness around 3 months or so. :)

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[egoldber]

I agree to feed on cue. Babies go through their first growth spurt at around 2 weeks, so you may need to start giving him a bit more formula at each feeding.

Studies have shown over and over that the MORE a child is comforted in their first months, the more secure they become and the less they cry later.

Do what your mommy instincts tell you to do and you'll be fine!

HTH,

[atlbaby]

Hi Kim,

First off, you are doing a wonderful job with William!! Whenever I think back to around the time Arielle turned 1 month I say to myself, "Why was I so tired? All newborns do is sleep and eat!" And then I remember, "Oh yes, she wouldn't be put down from 6pm-11pm!"

During that window, nothing helped but being held. So I think if that's what William wants, go ahead and hold him--he won't get spoiled! I'm also not sure what gripe water is, is it like Mylicon (for gassiness)?

As for number of feedings, while Arielle was fussy and wanted to be held she mostly wanted to nurse and it seemed to make her comfortable. Sometimes I could give her a pacifier, but not often during the evening.

Once she hit 3/3.5 months it got much better!

Hope you are able to get some rest! How does Christopher like his little brother?

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2:) EDD 10/24/03

[jojo2324]

Hi Kim!

Definitely pick that little guy up! My DS was the same way...The first two weeks were heavenly and I got really comfortable with my role as an awesome mother. Then WHAM!! He hit three weeks and colic set in. :D That'll show me!

There was very little I could do other than hold him. You cannot spoil a baby this young...Crying is their only means of communication at this point. And I think that babies are good at determining when they are full. If he has had enough milk, he will let you know by turning away from the bottle or by discontinuing to eat.

A friend brought me a bottle of gripe water back from England, but I never used it. We used Mylicon drops with limited success. People also recommend diluting camomile tea and using that to help relieve gas. Another thing I did (and this may be totally common practice, I don't know) was scoop the bubbles out of Gannon's bottles. Sometimes there would be an ounce of bubbles there! (We used powdered formula, so the shaking produced bubbles.)

If he refuses a pacifier (Gannon did, and still does 8 months later.), try giving him your pinky finger. Also, the one move that really worked for us was to hold him belly down along the arm, with his head kind of resting in the crook of the elbow. This was great because DH could handle this one. If we held him that way long enough, he would probably fall asleep, and would definitely reduce the cries to whimpers. I think the pressure on his tummy made him feel better.

Hang in there...It really does get better! Just follow your instincts. You're a wonderful mama! :D

[bnme]

If it makes you feel better, I recently went through a similar situation. My DS was a very contented baby when we first took him home. He then started having what we called his “fussy hour”. Usually a two hour period between 8 and midnight. He than started having shorter fussy times throughout the day. I never knew if it was gas or not. I used Mylicon and sometime it works sometimes not (maybe because sometimes it WASN’T gas). It ended miraculously around 6 weeks. It helped that I read prior that many babies go through this due to a heightened central nervous system during this time period. I thought it was too good to be true –but for us it was right on the mark!

To answer your questions:
-Yes, do whatever it takes to comfort him! For us it is his swing. He LOVES LOVES LOVES his FP Aquarium swing. I too was (and still am a bit) afraid of spoiling him by letting him nap in my lap or the swing but it hasn’t ruined the fact that he goes to sleep w/o a problem (mostly)in his crib every night.
-Don’t know about the Gripe water….what is it!
-I had the same problem w/ gas, never sure if it was. I got a better feel by using the Mylicon. I think it works very well and I was able to notice the slight differences in his behavior the times it doesn’t work vs the times it does. I can’t say for sure, but we hardly use the Mylicon now and when we do it works like a charm. The other times he is usually fussing when he is overtired –I think this was/is the hardest thing to pick up on.
-We didn’t start tummy time till about 4 wks and he isn’t a big fan. I am not religious about it. The best way for me to sorta sneak it in is by me reclining with him lying on my chest looking toward my face. He loves just looking at me if I am smiling and making faces and especially if I stick my tongue out at him.
I also discovered a new toy he loves…the Tummy Time picture show.
-My baby spends a lot of time in swing and boppy And he is very happy there – So I think whatever is working.
-My DS feeds (formula) every 2-3 hours during the day. Sometimes longer and longer at night. Usually has about 27-30 ounces a day. My ped says as long as his weight gain is consistent, not too rapid or too slow, not to worry. So I gauge it by that, I don’t obsess about how much he eats each day. It helped that my ped did several weight checks early on.

Hope that helped some! It really really does get easier. Know you are not the only one feeling stressed and that it is normal. I hvae to remind myself of that constantly.
:)
Oh, and I know some people are against it, but a pacifer really works for us. My DS just loves to suck--some babies do't take to it, but if they do I think they need it --at this early age anyway.

[kapow]

Hang in there Kim! You have an 11-year-old, so no doubt your parenting skills are just fine :)

[juliasdad]

Hi, Kim-

I remember frequently saying, during Julia's first two weeks, how amazingly lucky we were to have such an easy-to-deal-with baby.

Then week 3 hit! For no apparent reason, she got fussier and fussier... and it was impossible to put her down from 7pm to about midnight. Yes, I think it's ok at this age to do whatever feels right to try to comfort William. Feed on demand, hold him as much as he wants, etc. Gripe water is something you should probably talk with your pediatrician about; that said, as long as it's a nonalcoholic formulation (my understanding is that it's not uncommon abroad to find gripe waters with some alcohol), you're probably ok with a dose every 4 hours (I'm pretty sure the box we have says 3-4 hours, 6x/day).

For us, it was a tough time that was at its worse at about 5-6 weeks, and at 3 months we suddenly realized that it had been getting better so gradually that we forgot how tough it was at 5 weeks. Hang in there, and let life slide for a few weeks while you take care of William and yourself.

-dan

[KimberleyDawn]

I'm actually crying right now (omg and in a public library too)--THANK YOU FOR THE POSITIVE RESPONSES!! I feel so out of control emotionally and it's good to know that my problems with William are normal! Even though I've btdt with my 11 year old it's amazing how easily you DO forget what is normal newborn behavior.
Thanks again,
Kim

[Rachels]

Hang in there! It's TOTALLY normal for both you and your baby to have kind of a wild ride at first. I remember telling my mother through wild tears that I thought I had a little bit of the baby blues. (No kidding, she said.) It gets better.

Snuggle, snuggle, snuggle! If his tummy keeps bothering him, you might think about switching formulas. It's possible that dairy bothers him.

Let us know if we can help!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02