Working moms and dads, how long did you take for maternity leave

[flagger]

HR is starting to want to know how long Ms. Flagger will be out for maternity leave. She is in a unique situation in that she gets a per diem salary on top of her normal salary because our domicile is in Houston and we live in Charlotte. We get an alottment for food and for housing. They just made the determination that she will get her housing per diem but not food. Better than nothing of course.

Anyway she is thinking about taking 8 weeks. (Her company does not offer paid maternity, but with STD and her bank of earned time off it will still be full salary). With a doctor's permission she can return before the time she is telling them she will take off. However, that time gives us more than enough time for pedi visits and we are driving 17 hours with a six week old to visit my mom and her parents in Texas.

I just wanted to do a quick survey of those working moms and dads here on how long you took off after the birth of your baby. Her NOT going back to work is not an option at this time. Though she might be working from home a good deal of the time before returning to the office full time.

TIA

[juliasdad]

Well, staying at home wasn't an option for DW. At least, not that I was aware of. :-) But she really, really, really wanted to. As a teacher, her school was willing to hold her job for a school year. And Julia cooperated by being born the day before the school year started. End result: DW has taken a year off, and will return to her teaching job in Sept.

We need to start looking into daycare options at this point. I intend to work from home one day per week, and Julia's grandmother and/or aunt will look after her one or two days per week.

-dan

[jojo2324]

I took three months off, one before my due date and two after I delivered. I think most people go for three months PP, if they can swing it. That is what I've heard being out and about. I wish I could have taken more, but we thrive on a seasonal economy and I was hoping to catch the tail end of summer to make a bit of money after not working for three months. I hope that everything works out to your benefit!

[egoldber]

My company offered 6 paid weeks. I was able to privately negotiate 8 weeks with my boss. After that, I could still take the full 12 unpaid weeks of FMLA. My company also offered a "Balancing Work&Family Leave" policy. By this, you could take up to a year off work (unpaid, of course) and still be guaranteed a position at your same pay grade level at the end. I was in the middle of negotiating this leave when I was laid off.

After the first 8 weeks and before I was laid off, I worked from home part time for a few months. Personally, I thought that was awful. At least for me, it was the worst of both worlds (SAHM and WOHM) and none of the benefits. I really admire people who are able to be WAHMs and do really well at it.

HTH,

[trumansmom]

Not long enough! I took 6 weeks post delivery (I had to leave 3 weeks early as per doctor's orders.) and then worked from home for 2 weeks. I think with the next one, I will do everything possible to take 3 months. Before Truman was born 6 weeks seemed like an eternity. After, it felt like no time at all.

And I agree with Beth, working from home is a nightmare. I tried doing it occasionally when I just missed the little guy too much, but after he was 3 months old, it was VERY challenging and I stopped trying. I basically felt that I wasn't doing either very well when I tried to do both.

HTH,
Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01

[alkagift]

I wish I could take a year off--that would be great! No way, though, in my job unless I want to brand myself as "unnecessary overhead." x(My company offers 8 weeks PP at 2/3 pay. If I want to take the rest of FMLA off (another 4 weeks), I can do that without pay or use my vacation.

I plan to take the whole 3 months. I'm struggling with whether to make the last month part time--the deal is that the FMLA will allow you to take the time as full time or twice the time as 1/2 time. That means, hypothetically, that you could, if your company agrees, come back after 8 weeks 1/2 time--and spend your remaining FMLA over the course of two months. So, two months full time out and two months 1/2 time; OR 3 months full time out. Does that make sense? Flagger, I saw a good description of options and ideas out on Bluesuitmom.com the other day.


Allison
Expecting #1 5/27/03

[parkersmama]

With our first, I took about 7 weeks off. I had 6 paid weeks but I came in for about 1/2 per week during my leave (honestly, it made things easier when I went back FT) so I stretched it out to 7 total. With our second child, I was working PT. I still came in for a little each week during maternity leave and ended up taking somewhere between 7 & 8 weeks total and then went back to PT (20 or so hours per week). Honestly, neither of these was enough but it was much, much, much easier the 2nd time around. I'm not sure if that's because it was PT instead of FT or if it was because I knew that I would survive the separation. Probably a combination of both. I think that unless your dw is really gungho about her work, no amount of time will ever seem like enough. I know lots of people who took a year and still felt like they couldn't bear to go back. I know it's hard on dads, too, but I think something in us moms makes it pure torture. She will probably feel a lot better knowing that the baby will be with you while she's working...a definite plus!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I am working from home now until the baby is born. Then I am taking 6 weeks of STD, which is 2 weeks at full pay and 4 weeks at 70% pay. Then I am working from home for 6 more weeks and going in to the office one day a week. My husband will work from home that one day.

So we won't have to have daycare until the baby is 3 months old. I hope at that point that my husband and I can each work from home one day a week and have the baby in daycare just 3 days a week. But we will have to see how things are going at that point.

I went to talk to my boss about leave, expecting to say, basically, let me work from home or I will take Family Leave at no pay and not work at all for 3 months. But I didn't have to say that at all, he said to me "well you don't want to put a brand new baby in day care until it is 3 months old so you can work from home". Wow, do I have a great boss. :)

...Karen
Mom to Jake age 12 and expecting Logan Elizabeth or Garrett Logan, EDD March 21

[suzska]

Well, I wasn't planning on not returning to work....

The company I worked for offered 12 weeks of STD, which ran concurrently with the FMLA twelve weeks. I was planning to start my leave about 8 days before my due date, but Evan decided to come 16 days early--so I had the full 12 weeks PP. I was planning to return to work after the 12 weeks, and hoping to negotiate some kind of shortened hours or work-from-home part-time/in-the-office part-time after maybe a month of being back (I didn't have the guts to do it before hand). DH was planning to work four 10-hour days, and my parents were going to watch him the rest of the time. I just wasn't happy with the daycare facilities in the area.

I received a phone call on the last day of my maternity leave that I (and 15 others) had been laid off. Between severence pay and unemployment, and extended unemployment, twice, (because of post-9/11 laws) we've managed to get by. It's been 2 years and 9 days since I last worked! Now I can't imagine going back to work until DS is in school. And looking back, working from home probably wouldn't have worked.

[nitaghei]

I ended up with just over 6 weeks (thanks to snow storms) - much of it unpaid. Wish it had been longer. I really envy all of those who can stay home for 3 months or longer. I think 6 weeks is the absolute minimum. I didn't even feel physically fully recovered then (admittedly bad labor and delivery). 8 weeks is better - and 12 even more so, if possible.

As far as working from home goes - I tried it for a couple of days, and it just didn't work for me - DS is much too tempting a distraction to get anything significant accomplished. It's hard being away from him during the day - but I do actually succeed in getting work done. And not coming back to work wasn't an option for me either.

Good luck

Nita
mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

PS: I worked on the Friday, went into labor on Saturday and delivered on Sunday - so I didn't take any time off before.

[danielleh]

Hi,

I had saved up 2 weeks of vacation that I took before my due date. Then, my company gave 6 weeks of 100% paid disability (for a normal delivery; 8 weeks for a c section) concurrent with FMLA leave. I took the full 12 weeks of FML. I had discussed coming back part-time and working from home with my boss before I went on leave, but I got laid off (as part of a 20% staff reduction) on the last day of my leave. I am actually pretty pleased with how things turned out, since the company I worked for is about 55 miles from where I live and I was not looking forward to even a part-time commute of over an hour each way with a baby (my parents live near the company and would have watched DS).

Good luck,
Danielle
mom to Jimmy born 8/29/02

[suzska]

>Nita
>mom to Neel 01/05/03
>dog mom to a cocker and a PWD
>
>PS: I worked on the Friday, went into labor on Saturday and
>delivered on Sunday - so I didn't take any time off before.


I worked on Friday (was supposed to have another full week before mat. leave started), water broke at 7:30am Sunday, and Evan was born almost 11 hours later--6:24pm. I was supposed to attend the shower that day of a co-worker who was due a month after me, and still training my replacement at work. Oh, well. Apparently they got by just fine without me. LOL!

[muskiesusan]

My company's policy at the time was 6 weeks, with 4 weeks paid with 60% disability and 40% by the company. I asked for and received an additional 8 weeks unpaid.

After my 12 weeks were up I decided I couldn't return to work full time (I had a difficult c-section recovery and ds still wasn't bf all that well). So, I began working at home 20 hours a week and continue to do so. This was much harder than I thought it would be, and I still struggle with the decision. Although my employer is happy with my performance, I wonder about it and if I am being fair to Nicholas.

Susan
WAHM to Nicholas 10/01/01

[brubeck]

I teach too, and we actually timed both kids to be born at the end of the year so I could take the Spring semester off and have it connect to the summer. My daughter was born at Thanksgiving and my son just before Christmas. I both cases I went (am going) back to work the following August. Of course this entire leave is unpaid, but we planned for it in advance and have managed to budget properly for it.

My husband (who works disgusting hours) took 2 weeks of FMLA (vacation time) for each baby. By the time our son was born his firm was offering 1 full week of paternity leave so he got an extra week the second time around.

I think the real answer is that you want your wife to take as much time off as possible, given the constraints of finances and maintaining her job position/salary. I do know a family where the wife took her full maternity leave when the baby was born (2 months) and then she went back to work while Dad took 12 weeks of FMLA.

[caroliner]

I took 13 weeks after the birth. I have a disability plan with work where I get 50% pay during the disability period, 8 weeks with my section and I supplemented with leave time to 75%... I then worked part time for another 3 months. Now I am back to full time. DH took 2 weeks completely off, and then did a lot of work from home pretty much the rest of the summer. This worked out well for us and I will likely take 3 months with the next child, but probably not do the part time as I still had the same work load.

[JMarie]

I think I am quite in the minority here, but I worked up until I delivered (not entirely by choice - Aidan was 5 weeks early!) and took 6 weeks off at full pay. I could have taken an additional six weeks under FMLA unpaid. I was calling my HR department at two weeks PP asking that my leave be shortened to just two weeks (they declined because my OB refused to sign off on it and something about federal laws). Don't get me wrong - I am more than ecstatic to have Aidan and be a mom, but there is no way I could do that as my full-time job. I was crawling the walls with boredom - I think they should offer leave once the baby is active! I also must admit that DH pretty much took care of everything - he's completely over the moon over his son. I certainly mean no offense to the many, many SAHM's (and SAHD's) that are on this board - quite the contrary, I have so much respect for anyone who is able to be there for their child in that capacity. I just know I'm not one of them. I honestly think if it was possible, DH would be more than willing to be a SAHD and let me be the breadwinner - that's actually how I always imagined my life. Unfortunately, finances just aren't where we'd need them to be in order for him to do that, so we work opposite shifts to keep Aidan out of daycare. It's not ideal, but it works for us.

JMarie
Mom to Aidan Christopher 01/28/03

[C99]

Well... I was going to take 4 months at 55% disability pay, but my company got acquired while I was pregnant and I was laid off when I was 5 months along (although I worked off-site so no one knew I was pregnant). Then I took a 3-month contract starting when I was 6 or 7 months pregnant that was supposed to end on my EDD, but when Nate came 5 wks early, it had to be interrupted. B/c I was on a project-based contract and not an employee, I didn't get an official maternity leave. I took 5 weeks off anyway before I was forced into the office for 2 4-hour days each week. I just started going back into the office this week for 4 5-hr days until the project is finished.

[KM]

I took the full 12 wks FMLA allows. 6 weeks paid STD (8 wks for c section) then used the 4 weeks of vacation i had saved for the remaining time (if i hadnt had the c section, my last 2 weeks would have been non-compensated time, but that wouldnt have changed my actions).

While i wanted to get back to work, and did keep up with email and important matters from home, i would have been too much of a walking zombie at 6 weeks to really be back full time. Heck, there are days now (with baby at 3.5 months old) where im pretty exhausted in the morning.

[Zansu]

I'll join your minority. :) I love DS and I love being a mom, but I am not cut out for SAHP-dom. Kudos to those of you who do SAH!

I worked full time for three weeks PAST my due date. DS decided to cook a little longer and didn't make an appearance until 43 weeks. I worked Friday, labor started over the weekend, and I had DS on Wednesday.

I took eight weeks' leave (six at 100% and two vacation), and returned to work full time. During my last week of leave, I started DS at daycare so he (and I) could get used to it.

I kept up on work email while at home (there was NO way I was returning to eight weeks' of mail), and called in once a week or so.

Suzanne
mom to Benjamin 5/1/02