I MUST BE THE MINORITY!-any young mama's out there?

[JulieL]

Ok I just read the posting on what did you do before you had your baby. I for one am 22 and have been married for 4 years now. And am quite the minority for my age to be married and have a child. I was working at an insurance agency full time trying to work my way up from the bottom, while going to school at night for a degree in special ed, when by total surprise I found out I was PREGNANT!!!. My husband goes to school full time, he is 23, and works full time. He is finishing his undergraduate this semester, YEAH!!! He is going to medical school this fall. Where, we don't know yet, but he has been accepted to two schools. Just have to brag on my DH, anyone who knows how hard it is to get into medical school can understand!!! So now I work from home 24hrs a week for my dad, and am a full time mama and loving it. One day far far away, I will finish my degree and hope to tutor kids with disabilites and who are underprivilaged for free out of my home. So being SSOOO young I just noticed that I may be alone in this. Just wanted to see if I am right! Also anyone else have a DH/DW in medical school or residency for that matter as well???? I have some questions for you!!! It's a long and scary, but exciting road me & DH are riding. Love to hear back from you! P.S. I love reading about all you gals out there and your advices. I get encouraged everyday reading what you have to say! I hope to get to know all of you better. Thanks for being so accepting of new people to the message boards!

-JulieL
mama to Anthony 3/23/02

[Zansu]

DH is a 2nd year resident in FP. He'll be chief next year.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have, although DH did med school the hard way - four years in Mexico and one year in New York -- so I'm not as familiar with domestic med school experiences.

Suzanne
mom to Benjamin 5/1/02

[atlbaby]

I am 26, and expecting #2. I was had just turned 25 when Arielle was born, and I was in grad school. DH was in his 2nd (of 4) years of residency at the time (Emergency medicine) and when the baby comes he will still have about 9 months of residency to go. I can't say it's been easy on either of us with the number of hours he works and the many overnight shifts he must do per month--but it's doable, and worth it!

Med school is hard, as I'm sure you both expect--especially the first 2 years, but it's really "just" classes and studying and he probably won't be as dead tired at the end of the day as he will be in residency. And the last 2 are much easier, so you have that to look forward to.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have! Congratulations! Do you have an EDD yet?

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2:) EDD 10/24/03

[celfsh]

Hi, Julie. Just like you, I thought I was the only "baby" on this board :)! I just turned 24 last December, DH turns 25 next month. We have been married going on 4 years also. I don't have any experience or advice to give medical school-wise (I have a degree in marketing and work from home for a technology firm, DH is a mechanical engineer in the oil and gas industry), but my sister had two kids while her DH was in med school, and while it was definitely hard, it WAS doable. And she is, and always has been, an AMAZING mother.

Anyway, it's nice to know I'm not alone...looking forward to getting to know you better!

celeste
mom to olivia 9/25/02

P.S. Thanks for all the great advice in the "Mommy Fit" forum!

[sweetbasil]

Julie~
Another young Julie here to say hello! I'm just barely :) 26, DH is almost 31, and we've been married 6 1/2 years....I had DS when I was 23 (almost 24), and am due with our second in three months. So when am I no longer classified as a young mama? :)

[todzwife]

I just turned 22 on January 30th, and DH just turned 30 on Feb. 23. :) We have been married for almost 2 years. :) He graduates from Dental School (USC) in May! Woo-hoo!
Shandelle :)
EDD 10/25/03

[jojo2324]

YAY!! I thought I was the only young'en here. I am 23 (my birthday was January 23rd) and my SO is 32. We just got engaged this past Christmas and will have been together 6 years this coming July. DS is nearly 9 months old, and given his behavior today, I am not planning on #2 any time soon. :D

No words of advice about med school.

[mamahill]

I always *thought* I was a "young mama" until I came here. Now I guess I'm old? *sniff* DH and I married at 23 and had Ainsleigh at 26. In my childbirth class, out of 10 couples, only one other was our age - the rest were 5-10 years older. So I always felt young! (plus, I have it in my head that I'm still 24. I actually had to pause and think about it, the last time someone asked!) Too bad age doesn't necessarily bring wisdom in child-raising...

[twins r fun]

I'm totally with you Sarah! I turned 26 two weeks before Jacob and Caleb were born-I thought that was young! My birthing class was specifically geared toward multiples and almost everyone in there was in their late 30s or early 40s. And I still think of myself as younger, about what you said, 24-why is that?! I still sounds young when I say I had TWO kids by 26, though!

Nicole

[MartiesMom2B]

Julie:

OK I'm a little older than you are. I'm 26 and will turn 27 in May. Before getting pregnant a lot of people were telling me that I was too young to be a mom. I had a miscarriage last May and my SIL told me that was God's way of telling me I'm too young to have a baby. (I was too in shock to not slap her across the face-even though I'm not violent). So I'm so happy to see so many other mommies out there my age. Not that I think that it matters what age you are to be a mom!

I have no experience with Med school, however I do have a friend who had her daughter last summer, and she's in her 4th year of med school now.

Sonia
EDD 4/14/03

[Dcclerk]

Welcome! I am not with you on the age thing... I'm 29 and will just turn 30 before having my little Junebug. But, I am happy to talk about DHs in med school and residency. When Junebug comes, DH will have only a few weeks left of his residency (Family Practice) but then will be going on to a fellowship (so, in essence still in residency). I don't know what it is like to have a little one in med school, but will definitely be going through it while DH is in training. I look forward to comparing notes:).

Kerry
Due June 4, 2003 with #1

[JulieL]

Sonia
I can not believe your SIL said that to you!!! I would have freaked out. I too have to told by so many, your how old??? My daughter is your age and out raving! So what, what does that have to do with me???? I also have the fabulous gift of looking 5 years younger than I am. I know, I know one day I will love that! But right now I still get weird looks from complete strangers when I am with Anthony. Like they are thinking, Oh my god look at that 16 year old! When of course I am older AND MARRIED! When I got married at 18 I hadn't even been graduated a year so I wore my high school ring forever so people would know I had graduated! DH and I weren't going to have kids until he was out of med school and into residency, well that sure did change!!! There are benifets of being young and disadvantages, but I grin and bear it! Plus every day I look at my DS I know it's worth it!

-JulieL
mama to Anthony 3/23/02

[MartiesMom2B]

Julie:

You should've heard the reaming I gave DH when he didn't defend me in that situation. Well I should've defended myself. Anyhow, my mom had me when she was 20 and my brother when she was 27. She's thrilled to be 47 and having us out of the house and she and my Dad are able to travel and do all the fun things now. So that's something that we'll have to look forward to later.

Sonia
EDD 4/14/03

[JulieL]

Kerry,
Guess what my b-day (when I will be a whopping 23) is June 5th!!! HE HE HE, maybe you'll have your Junebug on my b-day! But I know once the day comes you won't be able to wait even one more day!!! One my other posting see what you think of my questions. I would love to get a support group in this! I can't wait to hear more about your little one, girl or boy???

-JulieL
mama to Anthony 3/23/02

[atlbaby]

Julie, (sweetbasil)
I'm wondering the same thing: Am I old yet? I still feel (and get mistaken for) and 18-20 year old, and like I think Sarah said, I always think I'm 24 (what's with that number?) But I felt so old when in the span of 2 months I turned 25 and had Arielle! :)

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2:) EDD 10/24/03

[mama2be]

...no matter what our age we all think we are 24 still :)...

Funny I read the post topic and I'm thinking who is to draw the line of what "young" is...I certainly think I'm young!!!

[candybomiller]

Sonia - Slap your SIL for me too! I had a miscarriage before getting PG with Matt when I was 23. I'm 24 now and Matt's a happy, healthy 10 months old. I can't believe your husband didn't knock his sister to the ground. What a b*&^%!

Congrats on this one. So close to your due date now. :)

Candy
Mommy to Matthew Nicholas
5/22/02

[lmintzer]

Hi Julie. Welcome. Well, I guess I don't qualify as young (I hit the big 3-0) in September, but I feel pretty young sometimes. . . DH (age 33) is a physician. We've been married for 5 years and have been together for (gasp) almost 10--yikes, I was pretty young then. So, I went through the whole medical school, residence, and fellowship thing with him on top of my own Ph.D. program. He's a neurologist now specializing in epilepsy. It's been a long haul. We didn't have Jack until late April in the last year of fellowship. But here's what I can tell you about babies and medical education (based on friends' experiences, etc.).

The WORST times to have a new baby are during 3d year of medical school (when you do your first clinical rotations and take call, etc.) and during internship which is synonymous with the first year of residency. Probably internship is the worst year of all--even worse than 3d year. Depending on where dh decides to go and on his own personal style (does he stress a lot about written tests and studying?) 1st year would be a reasonable time to have a new baby. 2nd year is okay too, although they have their first set of board exams in the spring of 2nd year which they have to study pretty hard for. The hours during 1st and 2nd year are really reasonble since they are mainly in classes. 4th year is even a bit more low key for most months of the year--during 1-2 months, they may do what's called a "sub-I" (sub-internship) where they basically act as an intern on a service they are interested in going into. But otherwise, 4th year can be great--lots of elective time (dh could even do a "reading elective" and be at home for an additional 2 weeks+ on top of vacation time.

Residency is rougher than medical school on the whole, though specialty will determine exactly how busy things are. A good rule of thumb: surgical specialities are much more time-intensive--more call months, more long days. So if dh knows now whether he is interested in a surgical field or a medical field, that might help your decision making (a good numbe of doctors-to-be know up front what better suits their personality and interests). Residency ranges from 3-6 years, and some do fellowship after that. For example, my dh did a 4 year Neurologly residency (1 year of internship in general internal medicine and 3 years focused on Neurology) before doing a 2 year fellowship in Epilepsy.

Hope that helps a little. Let me know if I can answer any more questions.

Lisa
& Jack, 4/20/01 ("I'm 23 months today!!")

[momathome]

Hi, Julie!
I have always felt like the young one, too. I was at the end of sophomore year of college when I found out I was pregnant with Liza (now 5) exactly one week after my 20th birthday - SURPRISE!!! My DH (then boyfriend) and I had only been dating for 7 months, but LUCKY ME, we were (and are) very much in love. We got married when I was 4 months pregnant, I gave birth to Liza 3 months before my 21st birthday, and we now also have a 2 year-old dd Kasey who just loves to play with big 5 year-old sis Liza. Oh, yeah, did I mention that the first 3 years of our marriage were spent living in abject poverty in Boston on my DH's grad school salary while he finished up his 6 year PhD in Chemistry at Harvard? (Ah, the good old mac and cheese days!) Thank goodness, he finished the PhD, got a fantastic job at a pharmaceutical company, and we bought our first home a year and a half ago. I also remember vividly pushing newborn Liza in her stroller when I was 20 and having everyone I came across tell me what a good baby-sitter I must be for this little girl! Welcome to the boards!
-Lauren (now 25, sometimes feel like 20, somedays 42!)

[JulieL]

You know you are right. I hope when I am fifty and in menopause that I still feel young. Young is how you project yourself not how you look. Hense young at heart. I also think beauty in a woman is subjective as well. There are some women at my church who I am sure are in their 40's and I think they are just gorgeous physically and so vibrent in spirit. So onward to always feeling young. Just as long as the cops out there don't ask me if I am 14...again.

-JulieL
mama to Anthony 3/23/02

[Shirale]

Yay! I too, thought I was the only youngy!!! I just turned 24, got married when I was 22! DH is 31 and we've been married just over 2 years!!!

[Annette_C]

I just wanted to tell all of you young moms that I understand how you feel. In fact, I got married at 17 and had two kids by the time I was 20 (I had a son at 18 and a daughter at 20).
As they grew older, no one would believe I was their mom. When my son started college, his friends thought I was his girlfriend! My daughter and I were constantly mistaken for sisters.
I have to say that it was fun! I've always been young at heart and fit so I never showed my real age.
All along, my husband and I kept saying what you ladies mentioned here: the kids will be out of the house and we'll still be young enough to enjoy life! Well, sometimes things don't go the way you plan...
My husband died suddenly 6 yrs ago when the kids were still in school. It took us all a while to deal with that but, TG, we made it. Then, less than 2 yrs ago, I got remarried to a wonderful man, moved to a new, bigger house and I sold my business. I wanted to start living, traveling and do the things I had missed out on the first time around.
But, again, somebody had different plans for me because I found out I was pregnant only 2 months after getting married! DH had never been married and had no kids so he was on cloud nine but me....well, I knew what it's like to have and raise a baby but the deed was done! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE DD to death but I was so worried about the health of my baby (and my own) because of my age. But, at 44, I gave birth to Sabrina, a healthy 9 lbs 4 oz baby (and I only gained 20-25 lbs in 42 wks), with NO complications whatsoever! My OB kept using me as an example to her patients because I was doing so well. I even continued to exercise every day of my pregnancy...up to the last day.
So, as you can see, life is full of surprises!:)
Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

[smilequeen]

I'm 28 :( and I'll be 29 before we have a baby...so I don't get to be in the young club :)

But, I still get asked for my college ID, does that count? LOL

I think I would have loved to be a young mom. although I'm very happy with the way my life has gone.