Sleeping with baby

[mam615]

Calling all co-sleepers! We started co-sleeping with Dorothy right away and loved it. From the start, she's been waking up every 2-3 hours to nurse, but she only eats for 5-10 minutes and we go back to sleep.

When she got to about 4 months (mid-February), she started making more noise and getting impatient if I didn't feed her instantly. This wasn't a problem for me (a SAHM), but dh started losing sleep. So we decided to transition her into her own room (sniff sniff). For now, I am sleeping with her in her room.

The problem is that I cannot get her to go to sleep in her crib. I think I made the mistake in the first few months of letting her play in there, and now she just kicks and rolls over and cries after a while if I don't take her out. Plus, it seems she won't go to sleep unless I lie down with her (can't do this in the crib!). Naps are usually in the stroller, in bouncy seat, in car, in bjorn, and occassionally in bed. Once I was able to start her nap in the crib, but she woke up after 5 minutes.

Any advice on how I can get her to think of her crib as a place to sleep? I do plan to sleep in the room with her for at least a couple of weeks until I force myself back into my own bed.

I did order a copy of the No Cry Sleep Solution from Amazon; am kicking myself for using Free Super Saver shipping -- it seems to be taking forever to arrive!

Your thoughts are appreciated.

[Momof3Labs]

If she sleeps in the bouncy seat, can you put the bouncy seat in the crib and let her nap in there? Then, after a few weeks of that, put her directly in the crib.

We started Colin out in a Moses basket and to transition him to the crib, we first put him to sleep in the basket in the crib. Eventually we put him directly in the crib (warming the spot with a heating pad first), and finally we were able to put him down without warming the spot. The whole process took maybe 4 weeks, but he was also 1-2 months old at the time.

[daisymommy]

We're going through the same thing here. Joshua has slept with us for 7 months now (alternating between the Arms Reach Co-sleeper, and our bed during the night). Last week we decided that he should probably start sleeping in his crib, before it was too late to change things. However, he has been teething for a month and thus it has not gone well. I figured he could be in this fussy stage for at least another month, so I wasn't waiting.
The first two nights I literally cried when I got into bed, and his little bed next to me was empty. It just didn't feel right. I felt (and still do feel) that it's for everyone's own good at this point, and the older he gets, the harder it will be to change things.
That said, every night he goes to sleep in his crib (after much resistance at being laid down), and sleeps for about 3 hours. When he wakes up, forget the crib. I have to bring in into our room or risk waking the neighborhood up with his cries (or go insane myself with the frustration of trying to lay him down again in the crib for hours.)
What is so hard for me is how easy it is to just let him sleep with us. That way, he'll sleep 7-8 hours straight, and I wake up to him softly patting my cheeks saying, "mama-mama-mama." :) How do you do what your head says is the best thing, when your heart tells you otherwise?
Anywho...I'd still like more advice as well on how to get him to sleep in his crib. Sigh...parenting sure is tough sometimes:(

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I say follow your heart. No mommy has to go to college with her son so he can sleep. :)

My first son slept with us all night every night from the start. He weaned from breastfeeding at about 13 months, and still slept with us. By the time he was 4 or so he was sleeping all night in his own bed. For ages 2 and 3, I would put him to sleep in his bed and then he would come in with us when we went to bed. At some point he decided he wanted to be in his own bed and stayed there.

Until he was about 6 or 7 and could get up and go downstairs by himself on weekends, he would wake up in the morning and come join us and watch cartoons in our room (softly) while we slept in. It was good to know he was safe there with us.

I have wonderful memories of the closeness of the whole family snuggled up together and intend to do the same with this one. Follow your heart.

...Karen
Mom to Jake age 12 and expecting Logan Elizabeth or Garrett Logan, EDD March 21

[sarasprings]

Peter started sleeping with us when we brought him home. We were told to wake him every three hours to eat because he needed to gain weight. This of course became his schedule, which wasn't so bad because he slept solidly in between his feedings. I got THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION to see if it would help lengthen the half our naps (unfortunately it didn't).

When I started working 3 days awake (he was 4 months), Peter started daycare and started getting one cold after another. As expected, he began getting very restless in bed -- although still waking only every 3 hours. In January, I quit my job because my poor little boy had been sick for 4 months straight. Guess what! He got well and started waking up every hour! DH and I tried using every technique possible from the book, while keeping Peter in our bed -- and nothing "worked." We used the author's technique for moving him from our bed and to the crib and spent two weeks sleeping in Peter's bedroom. Still, he was much too reliant on us for sleep. I would hold his hand for hours and if I let go, he woke up and cried.

I can't believe we did it, but finally (two weeks ago), we used Ferber's method. It was/is incredibly painful, but nothing else we read or friends suggested worked. But, as hard as this is, Peter is sleeping better. Last night he we didn't go into his room until 5 am and he cried twice for about a minute. While that is unusual, he's only waking and crying more than a minute once or twice a night. I would never have used Ferber if I hadn't tried everything else, but Peter wasn't getting quality sleep, and he desperately needs it.

THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION has a lot of ideas: having a daytime schedule, increasing feedings during the day, quality naps in a distinctly brighter setting, using a lovey, using verbal cues, and having a nighttime routine, for a few. She actually suggests having your child play in the crib so he/she sees it as a happy place. I can't find my book right now and have to disconnect and order dinner. I will look later if you would like some more info from it.

I hope you see some success soon.

Sara
mom to Peter 5/4/02

[JulieL]

My son slept with us for four months, sometimes in his bassent by our bed, but usually wound up back in bed with us. We had intended to have him in his crib right away, well that didn't happen. Then at six months we moved him into his crib. He screamed and I cried my eyes out. This would go on for 3+ hours. Every 30 min I would go in pat his back, give him hugs, try to soothe him, to no avail. This went on for a month. So nights he tired himself out sooner. He still woke up in the middle of the night and I would bring him to bed w/us until he fell back asleep then snuck him back into his crib. I stopped doing that around 9 months and that was another battle. He would cry and I would hug him and turn on music, cry myself, then leave him in there. Eventually he did figure out that I was always there when he needed me and that he was sleeping there whether he liked it or not. The consistancy ended up working, just not very quickly. My only consolation to myself is still, even now, when he wakes up for his morning bottle around 5:00 I bring him into bed with us. He usually sleeps longer with us, than not. I am not sure there is an easy way to go about it. Though I agree that the longer you put it off the harder it will be. Everyone told me I shouldn't sleep with him but I heart said, who cares!!! I WANT MY BABY AND HE WANTS ME!!! Keep it up, but for me it was a very lllooonnnnggg road. Hope it's easier for you. Don't know if anything of our experiance is helpful. Hopefully you can say, it's not that bad for us!

-JulieL
mama to Anthony 3/23/02

[Rachels]

I agree-- follow your heart. If your HEART wants him to be in another room, and he tolerates that, that's what you should do. But if you and he really want to still be together, it's okay. Cosleeping has lots and lots of benefits for children (although mainstream societal approval doesn't tend to be one of them). You're not going to harm him by continuing to cosleep if you want to.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[mam615]

Update:

Dorothy is doing better! I think two things really clinched it. First, I have started doing a bedtime routine and made her bedtime pretty consistent. Starting at 6:45 or so, I give her a massage. It's much easier than I thought it would be. I just keep some olive oil by her changing table and do it there. It only takes 10 minutes or so. I also try to do a little yoga with her after the massage, but she doesn't seem too into that. Then I give her a warm bath and get her into her pj's. Next, I walk around the house with her, saying goodnight to all the objects we come across, ending with a moon and stars nightlight. Finally, I nurse her to sleep and then put her in her crib. She's been asleep by about 7:30 every night since I started this. Sometimes she'll wake up in a couple hours, but a pacifier usually puts her right back to sleep.

Second, I let her cry a little when she wakes up from naps too soon. (This isn't what Pantley suggests in No Cry Sleep Solution; she says to quietly go in and soothe baby before she wakes up too much. But this wasn't working for me. My presence was waking Dorothy up even more.) She usually goes right back to sleep or plays a little on her own. If she cries for more than a few minutes, I'll go in and get her.

Last night started out great -- she slept from 7:30 to 11:30, and then woke up and I went in and nursed her. And then I made a terrible mistake. When I went back to bed, I forgot to turn on the monitor. To my horror, I didn't wake up until 4:30 AM. I am positive my poor little baby was crying at some point during that time and I didn't hear her. I felt so awful. I went in and she was sleeping, but she had spun around and her head was at the foot of her crib. She must have been thrashing around in frustration/desperation.

Well I've been feeling guilty all day and have been sticking very close to her. She seems to be fine. And guess what? This afternoon she was chewing on my finger and I discovered her first tooth coming in! Ah, the ups and downs of parenting.

[beckyr88]

Nothing to add except that Dorothy is beautiful!! What a great picture (love the name too)!!

[mam615]

How sweet! Thanks Becky! Stella also takes quite a lovely picture.

[cdlamis]

Michelle-
Hope I am not too late with this post.
My daugher slept with us for the first 8 months of her life. She would start off the night in her crib but then end up with us and she NEVER napped in the crib- just didnt like it I guess. Lately though she was waking every few hours even right next to me.
Well, we moved her crib into our room- right next to the bed and she completely changed her sleep habits. She slept 12 hours straight- the 1st night! And now she takes 1-2 hr naps there- by herself. It has made a huge difference!
Hope this helps and good luck.
Daniella and Julia 6-13-02