Days & Nights reversed

[jbrandy]

Help--anyone have any suggestions as to how to get my 1 week old on a better sleeping schedule? Right now he's eating every two hours (mandated by my doctor) except for a nice block of time between 4 am and 10 am. He sleeps very soundly (like we want him to at night) between those hours. We would like those hours to be more like midnight and 6. Is there anyway we can get him sleeping better hours? We also have a hard time keeping him awake in general. He's alert and awake only for about 1 and 1/2 - 2hours a day (usually between 3 and 5 pm). Thanks for any suggestions.

Beth B

[Rachels]

Hi! Congratulations on your little one's birth! I know it's so hard, but he sounds like a perfectly normal newborn. (I'd give my eye teeth for that 4-10 sleep! How wonderful that he's doing that!) He will adjust his hours with time. Babies are typically very sleepy for the first couple of weeks, but they're not known for keeping adult-like schedules. It's WAY too soon to worry about the days and nights being reversed. I know how exhausting it is, though. Hang in there! Pretty soon you'll be able to stop that feeding-every-two-hours thing. Are you nursing or bottle-feeding? He'll begin to wake when he's hungry, and you can trust him to tell you when he needs to be fed.

Hang in there, mama! It will get easier!


-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[cara1]

Yeah, sorry. At one week, it just is what it is. Give the baby another week or two before worrying about it. Hang in there! He'll probably right himself soon, on his own. I wouldn't worry about sleep-training or starting a routine for much longer, though. Good luck.

[brubeck]

That's not entirely true. Even at this age you can start teaching the difference between day and night.

Give the baby a BIG meal before bedtime. Keep baby awake (and eating) as much as possible in the hour before bed.

Keep the baby's room dark at night. Perhaps you could use a dimmer so that when you go in during the middle of the night you can keep the lights low. Do not talk to or play with your baby, save that for day. At night just feed him and change him and put him right back to bed.

This method worked well with both of my kids, although they weren't sleeping through the night until 8 weeks (which is still early for many babies).

[egoldber]

I don't know if it did any good or not, but we did something similar to this. My ped suggested waking our DD at our bedtime and giving her a "top off" feeding and that might help her go longer at night. So what we did was feed her as usual in the evening. Around 10 pm, even if she was asleep, we woke her and DH gave her a bottle while I pumped. It did seem to help her start going longer at night, but not until about she was about 4 weeks old. By about 10 weeks, she was going 6-8 hours at night. Again, I'm not sure if this actually helped or made any difference, but it did seem to work.

HTH,

[mharling]

Beth -
Thanks for asking this question. I literally just came out here to post the same thing.

Good luck and I'll be thinking about you tonight when our babies are wide awake!!

Mary
Mommy to Lane 4/6/03

[mharling]

I've also been told by many people to trust him to tell us when he needs to be fed. This morning he slept from 5 to 10 (right after eating). Does 5 hours seem like a long time to go between feedings? We're bf-ing.

Mary
Mommy to Lane 4/6/03

[lukkykatt]

I feel your pain. My first son had that same exact schedule. If it is any consolation, he is now a much better sleeper than my second son. As someone already mentioned, we kept things very dark and quiet at night with limited talking or eye contact. Then during the day, we made sure he was sleeping in a sunny area and made no attempt to be quiet when he was sleeping. We did also use a white noise machine - I had read somewhere that the quiet at night can be startling to a newborn because they are used to the noisiness of your body. Also, we never let him sleep more than four hours at a time during the day (we were on that feeding every two hours in the beginning too, yuck...). Sooner or later, they get the idea that daytime is for being awake and that night time is for sleeping.

Hang in there - things will get better!

[jbrandy]

THANK YOU SO MUCH to EVERYONE who has posted advice here to me. I feel better knowing that things will straighten themselves out and will also keep the tips everyone has made in mind and try them. I was also glad to hear that I don't have the sleepiest baby in the world. We have to bottle feed in addition to me expressing my milk because he can't seem to "latch-on". The lactation specialist even gave up with him until we can get his weight back up. Things are improving in that light and his weight is returning so that is positive. Now--hopefully we can all get some sleep sometime. I am amazed at how awake I actually am on SOOOOO little sleep. Must be a "mom thing". My husband is a zombie these days. LOL. Thanks again.

Beth B
Evan Jeb
04-04-03
12:04 am 10lbs, 4 oz

[Rachels]

SEE A NEW LC!!!! If he's having latch & weight issues, she's not helping you correctly. It'simportant to nurse in these early weeks to get your supply up, which will help him gain, etc. Get a better LC. It will make a HUGE difference!
-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Momof3Labs]

I agree - not all lactation consultants are created equal! Also, it is normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their body weight after birth, which is over a pound for your big boy! How much weight did he lose? It isn't an issue, usually, until you exceed that 10% mark.

Our hospital has two LCs on staff, and they only charge about $45 for a one hour visit - much cheaper than a home visit, if your funds are limited. And LLL leaders will often see you at their house for free or a very low cost.

Hang in there - the first few weeks are rough but it does get a lot better fast!! And congratulations on your baby boy!!

[egoldber]

HUGS!!! I have been there and it is very scary when your babe is not gaining or is slow to gain weight!!!

As the others say, a new LC may be helpful. But all that being said, even after seeing several LCs, I had to supplement from the beginning. There are lots of reasons to supplement. I wouldn't wait too long to start working with your LC again (this one or a diifferent one) just as soon as his weight starts turning around.

Good luck!

[jbrandy]

Evan weighed 10lb 4oz when he was born on Friday 4-4 on Tuesday 4-8 he weighed 8lbs 15 oz. That was over a 10% loss. On Sat. 4-12 he was back to 9lbs 4 oz. I have tried again with him to breastfeed but...no luck. He is really lazy about the whole thing. I am expressing everytime I feed him and still only get at the most 1 oz of breast milk if I express every 2 hours. We tried breastfeeding in the hospital with everyone imaginable (including the lactationist) and too many nurses to count. We would try breastfeeding but it would take over an hour and he still wasn't getting anything. After the doctor's visit on Tuesday 4-8 she insisted we go see the lactationist--so we did. She tried with us for over an hour and said he was much too weak to even attend to it---he would fall asleep, wouldn't keep his tongue down to latch on, etc.... So, she wanted me to express and bottle feed to get his strength back before we tried again. I'm worried that if we do go back we'll have the same problems and we'll be starving him again. At least with the bottle and expressing I know how much he is getting. He is finally alert after a week. Any thoughts???

[egoldber]

My DD didn't lose quite as much weight, but she lost the full 10% and then gained NOTHING for 2 weeks until we started supplementing and I started pumping.

Personally, and I know others will probably disagree, if I were in your shoes, I would probably do as your LC suggests. I would pump like a fiend, feed that and supplement with formula if needed until your DS is stronger.

My experience is that my DD has low muscle tone. With her weak suck, she was never strong enough (even at several months old) to get enough from the breast. So I probably breastfed her 80% and used expressed breastmilk and formula 20%. I did this for 6 months, and then honesttly I stopped breastfeeding because I found it just too draining to continue this routine.

I DO think it is worth working with the LC again when your son is stronger AND you are less stressed about his weight gain. I don't think it is too late, and once your DS is stronger, you may have no breastfeeding problems. Many people here are against any supplementation, but my LC told me, and I believe her, that babes like my DD would have died or have been seriously impaired without being able to supplement with a quality infant formula like those available today. If he is now awake and alert, then you may want to have an LC come to your home and start working with you again. The sooner you get started, the easier it will be.

Also, what kind of pump do you have? If you don't have a good electric pump, you may want to think about renting a hospital grade pump to establish your milk supply.

Best of luck and please keep us updated!

[nitaghei]

Hang in there! I ended up pumping exclusively for the first 7 weeks after DS was born (NICU, nipple confusion etc.) In the first couple of weeks I rarely managed to pump more than 1-2 ounces each time. (Now I can pump anywhere upto 10 oz at a time). We also did the bottle feeding (EBM and 1-2 feeds with formula) just to keep his weight up - he also lost a tremendous amount of weight because he was ill.

Pumping like that was hellish - on several different levels. But - now DS nurses efficiently and happily. And we haven't needed to supplement since he started nursing - my supply went up after that. Just to let you know that things do work out! :)

My feeling is that right now the most important thing is to get enough nutrition into your baby. Keep trying to nurse, and keep pumping like crazy. Once he's stronger, he'll be better able to nurse.

Just one thought you might want to discuss with your LC:

We were told to use the NUK nipple - the theory is that it strengthens the baby's jaw and surrounding muscles and makes the transition to nursing easier. The NUK is a slow flow nipple - so feedings do take a long time. Lots of times I would have someone else feed DS while I pumped - that was the only way I could get any sleep (which made it worse emotionally).

Keep working with a LC - with any luck your problems will be resolved more quickly than mine!

Nita

[mharling]

Beth -
Here is what we have found to work for the last 2 nights.

As others suggested, we try to keep him awake more during the day and evening. I go to bed after the last feeding of what would be my night (around 11 or 12). Dh is a night owl, so he stays up with him until the next feeding, wakes me up and then goes to bed himself. Lane will then sleep until 6 or 7, I feed him again and then he'll sleep until around 9. We haven't really changed Lane's awake time, but this approach has allowed both dh and I to get a pretty good amount of sleep.

Mary
Mommy to Lane 4/6/03