Anyone think you're nuts when you talk about your BB friends?

[MartiesMom2B]

I know that some of my friends think that I'm a basket case when I talk about my friends that I've made through the boards. When I told one of my close friends that I was inviting some of my friends over that I had met over the internet, she looked at me like I was a total loser and was inviting psychos over. LOL. Some people just don't understand. And then the looks that loved ones give me when I tell them the info that I've received from you. I think they probably want to check me into Dorthea Dix (local mental hospital). Only DH understands my message board needs. Ha ha.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[sweetbasil]

I don't think my DH even understands my message board needs- but as long as I keep my stories to a minimum, he'll take this any day over the days when we were newlywed, I was still in college, watching soaps on my days off, and telling him about the plots at night! LOL! Anyway, I've gotten to the point where when speaking of BB friends, I just say "I was talking to a friend of mine...." or "a gal I know in California/NJ/Boston/(pick your town) told me...." Funny, how I feel like I have to explain myself. Then again, most girls I know don't really know too much about the internet, and they think I'm a nut for being on the computer so much, checking e-mail/responding so often/quickly, etc....

And the same thing goes for "where did you buy that, Julie?" Like I'm even gonna say "eBay" or www.anything after all those eye-rolls? ;) But funny, how friends seem to get okay with it and eventually ask me to show them how to "do eBay", find a deal site or internet coupon, etc!

[brubeck]

You're not as bad as I am. I actually met my last serious S.O. (before my husband) over the internet and we emailed for ages before we met.

I think as long as you take reasonable precautions when meeting people it's okay. For example I met someone from these boards a little while ago. We met at the local BRU and each had a baby, so it wasn't exactly a high risk situation. Now if a guy had shown up with no child I might have been a little nervous! (sorry Flagger :-) )

I do think we should meet more though. Do the SF Bay Area Moms want to have a get-together like the Boston Moms did? Then if we've actually met it doesn't sound as weird to hubbies when we talk about these other people. :-)

[Rachels]

Yes yes yes!!! Everybody thinks I'm nuts. Some try to be supportive but secretly think I'm nuts, and some just outrightly think I'm nuts. But you are all vital to me. I do what Julie does, too-- reference my friends in faraway lands without mentioning that we haven't actually MET. :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Andrea S]

I can't help but laugh while I am reading this post and replies. People think I am crazy it is almost like I have imaginary friends who have great advise. I am going to have to start saying my friend in ... like you guys do.

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[mama2be]

HEY HEY HEY....I'm one of the psychos that you've invited over!!!!!

[mama2be]

I can say that my friends think I am nuts...and just plain don't believe that I'd ever fall into an internet friend "trap"...:)...I'm sure they are all behind my back saying, "Neve really needs to return to work"...

My parents were over for Easter and I spoke so much of Tammy (and others) that I swear we were dicussing my SIL or even sister...Steve chimed in too as if we both knew her all of our lives!!! And we have I feel!!!

I have my friend in the "Hamptons" (JoJo)...by girlfriends in California (Sarah and Tammy)...Lori and Jennifer in Chicago...and so many many more...I personally feel pretty worldly amongst you all :)...

So far I've had two of you all over to my house:)...and can assure you if anyone of you all came by my house is open to all!!!

[jojo2324]

I AM such a freak! :D It's all I can do to NOT talk about you guys every minute. Has anyone seen "American Pie"? "This one time, on the message boards..." It's even gotten to the point where if I see a mother and baby I wonder if maybe they are from the boards but haven't identified themselves...I mean, who doesn't read these boards?? ;)

DH knows you all by first name, and I think almost has all the babies' names down too. But sometimes even he reaches that exasperation point with all my chattering about the goings-on here.

And brubeck! There is a slight, slight chance that I might be making my way out to California in the next few weeks, and I would love a West Coast retreat. I will keep you posted.

[mamahill]

Add me to the crazy list. For a while I would lead into whatever story or advice as "a girl from my mom's bulletin board..." (like if I preface it by "mom's" bulletin board it's not quite so weird!), and now I just say, "Oh, well one of my friends..." People just automatically think internet=psycho/stalking/porn. Or else that we're just pretend. At first DH was a little skeptical ("How do you KNOW they are moms?" ), but then I told him, "If someone is going to invest serious time discussing a child's bowel movements, cracked nipples, new strollers, and the latest sales, then I'm willing to believe that they ARE a mom. And if they aren't, well then I give them props for putting up with all of us!"

It's like we're a secret club. And there is something so nice about being able to reach such a broad spectrum of mothers in one place.

And I'm all about a California get-together. We could plan it around Joanne's trip out here (come on, none of this "might" be coming out... you know you can't stay away from me! besides, are we going to solidify the arranged marriage agreements?! haha - now THAT would solidify the crazy bb friends ideas others might have!).

[mharling]

Pre-baby, dh did not understand my message board needs. Now that ds is here, dh will actually suggest that I either post a question or research something that has come up in our day. I think he thought I was nuts, but doesn't anymore.

I've mentioned some things to my mom that I've read out here and while she doesn't question the information I get, I think she does think I may be a little nuts for where I get the information.

Mary
Mommy to Lane 4/6/03

[nigele]

I also refer to you guys as my "friend who just had a baby, friend who helped me find my wonderful new ped, friend in California, friend who kindly sent Thomas her baby's stuffed monkey", etc... rather than my internet buddies. I'm sick of the looks and remarks I get otherwise!! Not to mention all the explaining I have to do. I don't know what I would do without you all especially with all the support you gave me during Tom's surgery. I consider you all very special to me. But I know that other people just don't understand. I met one of you ladies last year while I was pregnant and my DH was so worried that I was meeting a weirdo but now he understands since I talk about you ladies ALL the time. I drive him up the wall but he knows how much you all mean to me!

[nigele]

I say "Mom's bulletin board" too!!! And I feel like it's our secret club. :-) Anybody who doesn't understand the support we get here will NOT get a membership!!

I would love to come out to California - I can't wait to meet you, and Thomas is crazy in love with Ainsleigh. I'll rent his tux if you buy Ainsleigh a wedding gown!!

[mamahill]

I'll sign-up for a "Bride" subscription now! :D

[brubeck]

Awesome! I am always looking for an excuse to socialize with other people who won't mind my babies'..... uh....energy. :-)

[brubeck]

I'm sure Martha Stewart must have a 'Baby Bride's Living' magazine! :-)

OT: Speaking of MS, did you see her baby special this morning? I caught it while nursing. I can't believe that she actually thinks that new Moms have free hours to make 'vintage hangars'. Get a clue Martha! And do you know how many outfits a newborn messes up in a day? I'd need about 400 of those 'vintage' hangars thank you very much. Lessee, 400 hangars at 3 hours apiece with 8 hours a day to sleep and eat is 2.5 months of work......

[brubeck]

Okay, you guys may (or may not) have noticed that I never had a signature. At first I just didn't feel comfy posting that kind of info on a public forum.

This discussion however has made me realize that I'm being silly. You're all wonderful people I've come to know and after all, I've discussed baby poops, my breasts, my birth experiences and many more intimate things with you! So I am proud to debut my new signature!

[nigele]

Helen,

It's so nice to finally know your name, as well as Amy's and Andrew's! I agree that MS probably has a bride magazine for babies - how funny! I'm sure it's chocked full of ads for Baby Gap wedding gowns. Hee, hee.

[nathansmom]

My husband loves to hear all about the friends I have made here. In fact he's always telling me to run and share stuff with you guys. I guess I should share more but don't want to bore everyone.

My mother on the other hand thinks I'm nuts. How do you know that they aren't weirdos she always says. Oh well I don't think that and thats all that matters.

Thanks everyone for being my friend!!!!!!

[brubeck]

Thanks Lisa!

Could this be a new book for the Fields? Baby Bridal Bargains.... Hmmm, I smell a winner! :-)

[JMarie]

DH thinks I'm a complete nutcase, but he also thinks I've met some of the most thoughtful women (and men) this way. Funny story - one day when we came home from the hospital (I think it was before Aidan came home), there was a box at our front door. He looked at the return address and said "I thought your aunt moved to Boston. Who do you know in New York?" I was SO surprised to see that someone I'd met here had sent us a package for Aidan! Honestly - no one in my family was even so sweet! Anyhow, he still thinks I'm crazy that I have a list of phone calls waiting to be made (Aidan is not cooperating - I haven't talked to my own mother in three weeks!) and only TWO of those people I've met in person. I think it's wonderful that I've found such a supportive group that I can share just about anything with and know that I'll get honest answers. I can't thank y'all enough...

Jennifer
Mom to Aidan Christopher 01/28/03

[egoldber]

LOL! MY DH thinks it's pretty strange too. We had a call from someone here a few days ago and he was like, "OK how do you know this person? You mean you've never actually met her?" And he does know many of you guys by name (and your baby's names too!)!!

I haven't even bothered to mention such things to my parents or my ILs. They really would NOT get it! And I'd be afraid my MIL would lurk. YIKES!!!!!

[brubeck]

Alright, let's make a pact right now: NO ONE SPILLS TO THE MILs!

I shudder to think what would happen if my MIL read what I said about her on here! }>

[etwahl]

None of my friends seem to think it's bizarre. At least they don't show it. DH is extremely thankful and grateful for you all, because you've been so incredibly supportive. When he was still here, or even after he left, he'd often say "why don't you call Rachel to ask her?" or "Did you talk to Neve today?"

My best friends seem to know you guys too. Whenever I have a problem or question, they always say "why don't you post the question on the boards" and they tell everyone I'm okay because I have such a good support system (e.g. you guys). When I had the baby, I had my one friend calling Neve & Rachel to give updates and to ask for assistance when I was having troubles breastfeeding initially. It's weird, but they almost refer to you all like they know you as well. Funny!!!

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003

[C99]

My husband helps me run a bulletin board for women, so he doesn't think my need for message boards is all that weird. He just doesn't want to know about everything that happens here and on "our" board.

[JulieL]

To add to that, she put buttons on the onsie. That is a no no for infant, a.k.a. choking hazard. Not bad for a fun day outing on a cute dress or overall outfit, but not for a everyday onsie. Get a clue MS!!! She is not as perfect as she seems!!! And you're right, who has a time?

[blnony]

LOL. You all are so funny. For a little while DH thought I had gone insane, then I guess it finally grew on him. I call everyone by their name, "INSERT YOUR NAME, had the same experience we did...." Now, I think he just knows everyone and thinks its normal.
Actually, my friends are kinda jealous. They always tell me, "You've got the neatest baby stuff...where did you find that, or where did you get that idea..." I don't always tell them its from the message boards....:) But I do buy all my preg. friends the BB Book. But to my friends, I will say, a girl I know from Boston, San Fran...etc. so they won't think I'm total loonie case.
I don't tell my IL's or anyone like that, i don't even think I've mentioned it to my mom.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I met my husband on the internet, so my friends and family are already used to the concept. :)

A large percentage of the people at our wedding were internet friends, some of whom we hadn't met in person. :)

...Karen
Jake age 12
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[Rachels]

LOL, Beth! That was me! I was on vacation and discovered that the seat in our rented Dodge Caravan was installed incorrectly. There was no manual, and I couldn't figure it out. I remembered that Beth had one, called information for her phone number, and asked her (and her DH, who was on the other extension) how to install the seat! Saved my butt. :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[nohomama]

I have to admit, I rarely if ever mention to friends or family that I'm a member of an online community. Basically I fear people will think I've gone round the bend (at least the ones who still believe I'm sane). I always just say "a friend mentioned..." or "I read somewhere..."

Lola's father is really the only one who knows how often I frequent these boards. He knows better than to say ANYTHING. You should see the number of Mac rumor sites we have bookmarked. I'm not the only one around here with an online addiction.

[COElizabeth]

Neve, I thought you and Tammy actually did know each other from your pre-board life! LOL! I too have resorted to saying "a friend of mine" when talking about you guys to anyone but DH (who thinks it's cool that I have a "hobby" he can somewhat relate to - because he's a computer geek, not because he loves BFing discussions!). My sister is onto me, though. When I call her up trying to find diarrhea remedies for Rachel's Abby or asking about babies sharing rooms for Rachel W., she will ask, "What friend? How do you know her?" She's benefited from your advice, too, now, so she doesn't make too much fun of me anymore.

And Helen, it's nice to know your name finally! A friend just had a baby girl named Helen last night!

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[flagger]

A little late to this thread, but still wanted to respond. I mention to some of my friends and they don't understand, but then most of my friends I know from online.

Ms. Flagger understands my addiction to internet message boards. I have been involved with one in particular since August of 2001. There is a private forum on another one of them that maybe 135 out of the huge community of members are a part of. We have experienced births and deaths. There has also been life threatening illness, divorce, and marriage. We have also played practical jokes on a few of the members.

In addition we have had virtual baby showers twice for two of the members. Because of privacy issues, each time one person acted as a clearing house to receive gifts. They were then delivered to the person's house. A thread was also started on the board saying something to the effect of happy baby shower. I have learned through the grapevine that they are about to do the same thing for Ms. Flagger and myself in about two weeks. My best friend (next to Ms. Flagger) is acting as the clearing house.

I have talked to two of the members of the community on the phone and a few more either on AIM or Yahoo Messenger. The rest are just words on a screen, yet each one represents a real person behind an avatar and username.

Ms. Flagger knows about some of you by my stories: "Oh Neve said to look for this at Sam's." "Sarah said try this for Braxton Hicks." and so on.

Because of our lifestyle and her work, she rarely visits the boards. (The last time she was on our one for SAHPs there had been 78 new messages and it isn't that busy a forum YET.) However I do consider many of the people online to be more than just casual friends. She knows I have a pretty strong personality, but she knows I have to with three female dogs, her and a daughter on the way. Estrogen will one day overcome me. :)

Would my offline friends think I am batty for having a get together with online friends? Probably, but frankly I don't give a damn what they think!

[Annette_C]

This thread is so funny!
Yes, I too am guilty of constantly talking about my mommy friends and what's going on with each one's life.
Like Karen, I met DH online and I'm so happy I did!! I also used to visit a chat room from Italy and made so many friends that when I travel to Italy on vacation, I have an entourage of online friends meeting me there! One even came to visit us here in the fall!
Like most of you, though, I don't tell everyone where I know you from or they would think I'm losing it! My immediate family knows about all of you and your babies. DH asks me "what's new on the board today" when he comes home. My daughter (who's a PharmD) asks me if anyone needs medical advice (since I bug her all the times when there's a post on meds).
My family knows how much you all mean to me and DH actually said something last night that made me think...
I was telling him about something from the board and he replied that he was happy I had you guys as my friends (I went through a though period of feeling isolated and trapped a couple of months ago). He also said that I have more of a life from the board alone than he and most people who go to a job/etc everyday!
That brought a smile to my face and I reminded myself of how lucky I am to have you!
I just HAVE to meet you all soon IRL too!!!:)
Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

[jojo2324]

No, thank goodness I missed that! That is too much. Yesterday I was surfing the tube and happened upon her show, and she was doing yoga with her big fluffy dog laying right next to her, and her big fluffy cat laying right on TOP of her, all while she was trying to do a stomach exercise or something. It looked so ridiculous.

I subscribe to the magazine, and in a previous life actually used to read it! Now Gman just uses it to crumple up and chew. :D

[candybomiller]

Even though I'm not a mega-poster, I know that there's no way I could have survived this past year without you guys. It's hard to believe that I bought the book for info on how to save money (by the way Denise and Alan, I need my money back, but I don't want to part with the book!!!!! :) ) and ended up meeting an incredible support group that I wouldn't hesitate to call on at any time.

DH used to think I was insane. Now he's so incredibly greatful to everyone here that I think he's ready to buy everyone tickets to the Bahamas! He knows I would have never survived all the events of the past year without all of you.

We should have some sort of mega get together. Maybe a trip to Hawaii! Or something that wouldn't involve me stuffing myself into a bikini. LOL :)

Whatever people think, I am incredibly thankful for everyone here. I'm happy to consider all of you my friends.

Candy
Mom to Matt
5/22/02

[Karenn]

Just wanted to add: Me too! My friends try very hard to act like "internet friends" are the norm, but I know they must be thinking, "She learned THAT on line too? She must spend WAY too much time on line."

[Rhonda36]

I've kept you all as my dirty little secret -- what if my mom or sister lurked and found out what I've said about them? Horrors!

While I'm new around here, I've certainly come to appreciate all of you and your wisdom (and foibles). It's a great community, and I'm happy to come here every day to find out what is going on in your worlds.

DH might think I'm nuts, but he's too smart to say so. He did find it rather funny when we were driving through a posh area of CT and I spotted a Mountain Buggy Urban Double. He wiped the drool from my chin, and didn't bother to ask me how I knew what that was...

Rhonda

[mamahill]

Hehe, a couple times when I've responded to something you've said, I've had to catch myself and go back and delete "Helen" because I figured if you weren't putting out there, I wasn't going to spill the beans. Yay Helen, Amy and Andrew. And as soon as this yucky rain passes, we should get together again at a park!

[MartiesMom2B]

We definitely can't tell the MILs, or in my case SILs too. Just dropped MIL at airport this morning. As soon as I have a moment to compose my self I'm going to post a thread of the Top 10 "insights" said by MIL this past week. Ha ha.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

P.S. How do you make the devil smiley face? I love it.

[parkersmama]

I, too, refer to my internet friends as "my friend in so & so (insert your town here)"! I think I told you guys before that I have a bulletin board that I've been part of since Parker was born in 1997. I have a few friends that know a good bit about my internet groups so I'm up front with them but I just keep everyone else in the dark! Now one of my original internet friends has moved here and we are good friends and do things together all the time. They recently came to our son's 3rd b'day party and I felt like I was in the Seinfeld episode where George's "worlds collide"!! LOL! I was just upfront with everyone and said "This is my friend Amy who I met on the internet". I'm sure that everyone else thought I was insane!! Dh and my parents are completely used to it, though. :-) And I'm extremely happy to have found another great group as you all!!

[brubeck]

But did your MIL/FIL replace your toilet seat? They visited and told me our seat in the guest room was too old and worn for them (the house is 5 years old BTW). So they went out to Home Depot, bought us a new one and installed it.

They did the same thing when my hubby was a bachelor living in a studio apartment and only had one bed. He gave up the bed for them and slept on the floor. They didn't like his mattress so they went out and bought him a new one the next day so they could use it. Sigh. Thing is, that mattress is now in our guest room which I guess is why they didn't have any complaints about it!

To check out the Devil smilie (and others) click on the Smilie Lookup Table to the left of the message composition box. The devil smilie is the right side curlique bracket and the right side arrow bracket. :+

[MartiesMom2B]

Well I'm glad to know that I'm normal. Ha ha.

DH read my original post and said of course I'm glad that your on the boards. He believes that women listen to strangers more than women they know (I personally believe that I'll listen to your advice than my mom, MIL, or SIL b/c it's not outdated advice, people here have the same views as me, and more feedback than a few people). However I do have to admit to feeling smug about the information that I receive from you ladies, like when I looked upon a young unsuspecting couple about the get a well known's brand travel system and thinking ha ha this was not reviewed very well by the message board.

Anyhow, since we're all friends I'm just going to refer you as my friend __________ (insert name) and if they ask how I met you I"m just going to say a mommy group.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

P.S. Helen - so nice to hear your name. I understand why you didn't post it before. :)

[brubeck]

I probably should have done it awhile ago, I just got into the rut of not having it there. After all, my one year anniversary of being on these boards is coming up. Yikes! Has it been that long?

[Marisa6826]

My friends think I'm already a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I'm sure that I sound like some closet recluse when I mention my online activities and my "friends".

My MIL (who's opinion is dubious to begin with) rolled her eyes when one of my online friends came to my IRL baby shower.

But then again, I met my husband online and he's another internet addict - we fight over who gets online at night!

-m

[etwahl]

me too, me too. I met my hubby online, but we never told anyone the truth. we said we met through a friend! At the time, we were a little embarrassed. Now I wish we'd just told the truth, because some people know the truth and some don't, and it's not embarrassing to me anymore (not that much anyway!!!) And we used to always fight over the computer at night.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003

[stillplayswithbarbies]

We met online too. But we don't fight over who gets to go online, we have three computers all networked together and we have DSL so we can all be online at the same time. (my son's computer is not connected to the internet, it's for doing homework and if he needs to look up something on the internet one of us helps him and sits with him)

...Karen
Jake age 12
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[jubilee]

I've only told my husband about my BB friends. At first he thought I was researching everything baby related to death to the point I had to ask "complete strangers" (his words) what they thought. Now he asks what you all think about a product, like you are all the baby gurus!! I sure appreciated you all, and now so does my hubby!