Longing for a baby?

[sparkeze]

My baby doesn't look like a baby anymore. I've caught myself wishing I was pregnant! Yikes! And even more, the other day DH mentioned that he's decided he definitely wants more babies. This coming from a man who says he'd be happy if Matty was an only child.

We've long discussed and decided that we're not going to have another baby for a few years, or at least until Matty is 3 which means the earliest possibility for trying to get pregnant is over a year from now. I know I'm not ready for another baby yet but I'm feeling twinges.

Anyone else? Are twinges normal after your baby becomes a toddler?

[newbelly2002]

I went through a few "twinges" when Dante was about 7 months. Then he started teething. That cured that.

And this new stage is definately not helping either. He's adorable and interactive, and I LOVE that. But he has also just realized that crying equals attention. Now he cries when he is frustrated, bored,or deprived of what he wants. You pick him up and he smiles one of his amazing smiles. It wasn't so bad when I thought something was wrong, but now I KNOW I'm being manipulated.

Definately not ready for another one yet.

Paula, Mama to Dante 8/1/02
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b33a3c3de467

[egoldber]

Oh can I ever relate to this one!!! Sometimes I ache so badly for another baby it obsesses me. And watching everyone here have their little ones is very hard. And it only gets worse as Sarah becomes less and less of a baby and more of a little girl. We also planned to be on the "3 year plan", trying to have a second when Sarah will be around three. But I'm not sure I can wait that long!!!

I went through some twinges when she was about 9 months and resisted those. To be honest, I'm glad I did. I know lots of people have babies less than 2 years apart and wouldn't do it any other way, but I would think it would have to be incredibly stressful. If anything, I find that she demands MORE of my time as she grows into toddlerhood. Although she often plays by herself nicely, she is also napping less (although thankfully is napping now) and wants to go outside and do activities that require constant supervision.

But I would say listen to your heart and do what you feel is best. I don't think I can stick to my original plan. I just feel "ready" and I didn't think I would feel ready this early.

HTH,

[Rachels]

I know. Groan. I have started to have a little baby-ache, too, especially as Abigail approaches her birthday. I am nowhere near ready physically-- need some good rest, food, etc. first-- but I have a real mix of delight at the little girl she's becoming and sadness that her infancy is over. I totally understand. And Beth! Plans, Schmans. If you feel ready, go for it, girl!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[mamahill]

I know I'm in the minority here, but we are on the 3-year plan (getting pg when Ainsleigh is a little over 2 - yikes, that's next summer!), and I couldn't be more happy. I am loving each new milestone and watching her grow into a little girl. And maybe I just didn't have a very good newborn. Not as bad as Tammy is having it, but definitely not an easy child (hence my absence from these boards until I resigned up in August when she was 4 months old!). But if you're ready, I say go for it!

[twins r fun]

I'm in the camp with you Sarah. On the three year plan (though DH hasn't quite agreed to that-he still says "what's wrong with the two kids we've got?"). I definitely want another child, and get little twinges when I hear of people getting pregnant with a second child or third BUT it's really important to me to be able to enjoy the entire baby stage for these two and then to enjoy it all again for a new one!

Nicole

[sparkeze]

Well, I don't think we're ready NOW, but I was so surprised to find myself even thinking about it. Until DS was 3 months old I honestly thought that I would never ever want another baby. Ever. And I still have days when I think that! :)

But I suppose with a second baby I would be a little more experienced that with a first. But then again you have 1 to chase around while you care for a newborn. At least I wouldn't be in amazement that the hospital let me take home a live, breathing human to care for with a second!

Glad to know I'm not just a sucker for punishment! I can say with certainty that I don't miss being pregnant though!

[ddmarsh]

IMO, as with planning a first child, it often is a matter of the heart. As a friend of mine says if it were all about practicalities and perfect timing most people would have none! I say go for it, but of course I'm longing for another and Lily is my fourth and she is only 3 months - surely I have something wrong with me ;).

Debbie

[gravymommy3]

Hey, I was on the 3-year plan, but with my own little twist. Try - 3 kids in 3 years! LOL! Even after that rollercoaster, I still have the twinges. Unfortunately, sniff, sniff, I had my tubes tied, so I can't act on the urge. Very few people can absolutely control timing of anything, much less babies. If you want another one and both of you agree, go for it. And if you decide it is too much when the baby gets, here, send baby to me for a month or two! JK!

[atlbaby]

I also began to feel twinges last summer, when Arielle was 9,10 months. They shocked me! I (and DH) had always thought we'd wait until July/August (when Arielle will be about 21-22 months) to begin to try, because we didn't want to have a second child before she was two and a half. I assumed the twinges were a result of my weaning her, which was at 9-10 months too. But I was still longing for a baby in the fall, and I began to constantly talk about moving up our TTC date. So this summer became March, became February, which became January, and OOPs--I guess I gave in to those twinges! :) I think I wore out DH with my incessant begging and cajoling!

Seriously though, we *did* have a plan, and things will be tough around here with two children in a small apartment, but like Debbie said, sometimes you just need to follow your heart. Three years ago I never would have imagined wanting to be a SAHM and wanting to have children this close in age, but I could not be happier!

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2:) EDD 10/24/03

[brubeck]

Maybe it's my plan. We were on the two year plans and managed to (almost) make it. But when Amy was 13 months and I thought, "Oh it's time to go off the pill again now." it just seemed so soon! I had ony had my body back for a short while since finishing nursing and dieting and here I was starting all over again. It might have been nice to wait a year, but in the long run I think we're happy to have our kids closer together in age.

[stella]

We had to visit the fertility clinic to have #1 who was born 6/25/01. So I was pretty well convinced that birth control was for other people, but that we would need further help to have #2. Plus I was still nursing. (I'm sure you can see where this is going!)

So imagine my shock and awe when I had a positive hpt. When he was 8 months old.

SO now I have two 17 months apart - a boy (22 mos) and a girl (5 mos) and it has been a LOT of work. As in - don't make a lot of plans becaus ethings could go haywire at any time.

But tonight, as ds was taking all the cards (credit, insurance, drivers' license) from my wallet, he started handing them to her and she was holding onto them and it was such a sign to me of how much he enjoys having her around. NOw if I can remember to pick them all back up!

It was nothing I planned and I have always wanted 3 or (dare I say it?) 4, I have been so exhausted recently that I decided two is it.

But I have a little baby fever as well. Even though I have a baby.

So there are times when I know that if I ever want to have some semblance of a life I should stop having babies, but on th eother hand, I want to be part of a large family with all the chaos and fun that that encompasses.

I think I must be delirious from a lack of sleep - we're just about to start sleeping all night - the 5 mo. old, that is.

I'd love to know what other people think about this.

[brubeck]

Just as an aside Stella:

We get a lot of those credit card offers in the mail. Some of them come with fake 'sample' credit cards. We pull those off and give them to my daughter. She loves them. In 18 months she has collected about 30 of these things and sometimes even carries the around in Dad's old wallet.

You know what they say, buy them an expensive toy and they'll spend all day playing with the box.... :-)