Need some reassurance and prayers - UPDATE

[Virginia Dad]

First of all, thanks to everyone who replied. It really helped me get through the weekend. We went to the doctors and just got back. She said there was no need for concern and nothing she sees as a red flag. They told us that it was good that there was no change from last week. My DW's cervix is the same as it was. The doctor said that is good because there has been no further softening or dilation...no premature dilation as the doctor said. She told my DW to just take it easy and relax, but did not put her on bedrest. She even said that my DW doesn't need to stop working. All in all, the doctor said she thinks it's just the pains of pregancy being exemplified and everything seems to be progressing well. We have a regular appt. on May 30 and hopefully everything will continue to be fine at that time. We are 33 weeks along so it's getting close.

Thanks again to all of you. I was able to keep my mind at ease (somewhat) this weekend with all that I read. I am so thankful that everything went ok at the visit.

---------------------------------
My wife went to the doctors today because she had been having some discomfort in her lower abdomen/pubic region. She will be 33 weeks pregnant this Friday. It turns out that her cervix has started to soften...the doctor was able to place the very tip of her finger in. My wife was told to skip work tomorrow, and to take it easy the rest of this week and this weekend. She has a followup appointment on Monday afternoon. The doctor said it is probably nothing to worry about...but wants to be sure. This is our first pregnancy and it doesn't help that I am a worry wort about everything. I just wanted to know if anyone else has gone through this or heard stories about this. I am looking for reassurance that this is not highly unusual...and some prayers for the well being of my wife and child would be appreciated. Thanks.

Virginia Dad

[egoldber]

Here's hoping that everything turns out just fine! It really isn't uncommon for some women to walk around with "soft" cervixes for many weeks. Your OB is probably just being cautious.

Good luck!!!

[mamahill]

I agree with Beth, but wanted to add my own "closed-cervix" vibes to your wife... (how often do you have a stranger hoping your cervix stays closed? haha) I did have a friend who walked around dilated to a 3 for 3 weeks, though.

[mama2be]

Darn I posted a post and it didn't post...so if this comes up twice you know why...

I just wanted you to know you, wife and baby are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it is hard not to worry but it sounds like your MD hasn't put you on a lot of intervention and STRICT orders which is the good news...

Please keep us updated...I hope someone else here can shed more light on this particualr situation than I...

Hugs...YOU MUST KEEP US UPDATED!!!!

[atlbaby]

I'll be hoping and praying that everything turns out ok! I've also heard that women can walk around a bit dialated for weeks before going into labor, but it's good that her OB is being cautious anyhow.
I'll be thinking of you all, and please keep us posted!

-Rachel
Mom to Arielle Jill, 10/30/01
#2:) EDD 10/24/03

[COElizabeth]

Virginia Dad,

I don't have specific experience with your DW's situation, but I was put on bed rest at 32 weeks for elevated blood pressure, and I will share something I found comforting. I was allowed one weekly outing besides doctor's visits and non-stress tests, and that was my childbirth preparation class. I had the first one the night I was put on bed rest, and during the introductions I told my story and probably sounded scared (because I was).

A really nice woman who was pregnant with her second child came over later to reassure me. Her first child had been born at 26 weeks and thankfully is doing just great, but she was of course really worried about her second pregnancy. She said that a doctor had told her that 28 weeks is the "great divide" beyond which most babies do well if in a NICU and that after 32 weeks the babies are basically just "getting fat." She said the babies they saw come through the NICU who were born at 32 weeks usually did very well and went through quickly.

Now, it's obviously much better to have a baby go to term, and there is more going on than just gaining weight, but I was enormously reassured knowing that even if I had to have an emergency delivery at 32 weeks, my pregnancy was already far enough along that my baby would have an excellent chance of survival and good health in the long run.

I hope and pray that your wife's pregnancy continues normally to term, and I don't mean to suggest it won't. Hopefully slowing down will help her avoid an early labor, and I like others have heard of women walking around dilated and soft for weeks and weeks. But I hope it's somewhat reassuring to know that your baby should be past a lot of the hurdles in the worst-case event of having to make an early entrance!

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[cuca_]

Hope everything stays well with your wife and baby. They will be in my thoughts. The fact that the doctor said that it's probably nothing to worry about is reassuring. Sorry, but I have no personal experience or stories to share related to this type of situation. Let us know how everything goes.

[Rachels]

Thinking of you and wishing all the best for your wife and your sweet baby. It will all be fine!!! We're here anytime you need some support.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Virginia Dad]

Thanks for all the replies and for keeping us in your thoughts. I have done some reading and it seems as though it isn't all that unusual to be soft. We will just need to monitor her activity and let the doctors do their thing. I really enjoy this board and although am only a seldom poster, it's great having a forum to share with people. You all have already made me feel better knowing there are people who I can share with.

[sweetbasil]

You will all three be in our prayers and we look forward to a good report from the doctor and a full-term, healthy delivery of your sweet little one!

All the best,

[momathome]

I, too, started dialating at 32 weeks with Kasey and was put on bed rest until 36 weeks. Kasey was born full-term and completely healthy at 38 weeks. I will cross my fingers that things go equally well for your family and that you have a smooth delivery with a healthy baby. Good luck!
-Lauren

[twins r fun]

I'm glad the reading you have done is reassuring you! I hope all goes well with the remainder of the pregnancy. I will be thinking of the three of you. I'll just share my experience with you in hopes of reassuring you that no matter what happens your baby should be fine at this point in pregnancy. My twins were born at 33 weeks and of course had to stay in the NICU. However at no point in their stay did I ever feel like they were in a life threatening situation. Like Elizabeth posted, babies after 33 weeks really just need to learn to eat and to grow. My boys stayed in the hospital for 2.5 weeks and 5 weeks. They did have some trouble breathing but nothing that the doctors couldn't help them with. Obviously having a preemie is not the ideal situation and not one that you would hope for, but if it happens, you guys are passed the dangerous part.

Also I went into preterm labor at 22 weeks and my cervix was 75% effaced. I was put on pretty strict bedrest (allowed to shower and go to the doctor) and it makes a huge difference. I also had a cerclage done that probably helped a great deal too. But my point is that bedrest is very effective in holding off labor. I didn't even go into labor at 33 weeks-the had to take the babies by c section becasue one wasn't doing well. So even if your wife is experiencing some preterm cervical changes or labor, taking it easy will help a lot.

Just wanted to give you the worst case (which isn't too bad) and will still hope for the best!

Nicole

[jojo2324]

I don't have any experience with this, but just wanted to let you know that all three of you are in my thoughts. Please keep us updated on your wife's condition.

[bluej]

I actually just went through this. At 33 weeks I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I had lots of cramping and incredible pubic pain. I cannot express enough how painful the pubic pain was/is. It literally feels like if I were to take too long of a stride (which wouldn't be all that long) I will rip apart and the baby will fall out (if only it were that easy!). I imagine this is what your wife is experiencing and so I really feel for her b/c I fear it's not going to go away anytime soon. Anyway, I was put on 'moderate' bedrest until I reached 37 weeks (which was last Wednesday). My Dr. said I could get up and cook supper. Yeah, right. I decided instead of standing on my feet for an hour seven nights a week, I'd stay in bed and go on one Target outing a week instead. I'm a very bad patient. Anyway, I'm now 38 weeks along, 2 cm dilated and still 50% effaced. I don't know what station I'm at, but I'm guessing he's incredibly low b/c she was surprised to be able to feel his head w/o having to reach in too far at todays exam and to be honest, the pressure/pain is almost unbearable. Anyway, other than my Target outings, I stayed in bed or in a chair w/ my feet up and I'm still very much pregnant. I think if your wife takes it easy, the baby will hang out awhile longer. However, she will probably still be uncomfortable. Even though a massage won't take the discomfort away, it will help to relax her and take her mind off of the pain. HTH.

Jen

[nigele]

I do hope everything works out for the best. Take really good care of your wife this weekend and be sure to pamper her. I can only imagine how worried you both must feel. Pregnancy can be a really scary thing but know that you can always come here for reassurance!

[loewymartin]

Virginia Dad,

I went for an ultrasound around 23 weeks (I had a fibroid that the OB was watching, so I had a lot of ultrasounds!) but, during that ultrasound, they noticed that my cervix was "funneling". Meaning it was opening and closing...they said they don't usually do so many ultrasounds, so it may be completely normal, but told me we couldn't have sex, I couldn't lift anything over 20 pounds, no jumping around and not a lot of exercise (although they let me continue working).

I went for a regular OB appointment at around 34 weeks and was 1 cm dialated. At 36 weeks I was 3 cm. I ended up having Alia 12 days early at 38 weeks. When I got to the hospital (about a hour after my water broke and my contractions started) I was 7cm. I delivered Alia in 3.5 hours from start to finish - with no complications.

All this is meant to tell you that your wife's body is most likely gearing up a little early for delivery like mine did. I'm glad your OB is watching things closely. An attentive OB is a good thing :-)

Hang in there!

Michelle - Mom to Alia Jailin born 5/16/02

[Virginia Dad]

Again, thank you so much for all the wonderful thoughts and replies. My wife is not yet on bedrest, but has been told to take it very easy the next few days. When she goes back on Monday, the doctor will let us know what she thinks. From reading these replies, along with the internet and our pregancy books, I have stopped worrying as much as I was. I know it will be tough for her to be on bedrest, if it comes to that, especially since our classes start next week. But she knows that we have to do whats best for her and the baby. Hopefully all will be fine come Monday with some weekend rest. Thanks again!

[nofeea]

My DD was born at 33 weeks exactly(3 lbs. 14 oz.). She had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks but I was able to hold her right from the first day and she did great. She's now 6 mos. and you'd never know she was a preemie! Good luck!

[flagger]

Hi Virginia Dad (I will avoid using an abbreviation and not refer to you as VD),

You are in our thoughts and prayers. I know this is a cliche, but everything I have read and learned has been true. Each and every pregnancy is as different as each and every woman.

I used to be a constant worrier too and honestly it made me miserable. One thing that helps me is to focus the energy on the things I can change and not the things I cannot. If the baby does come early, there are medical introventions that can be done that are nothing short of miraculous in this day and age. However if she carries to term all you would be left with is worry which is not healthy but I understand what you are feeling.

I am having a daughter so what I concentrate on worrying about is how I can terrorize futor suitors. :)

Good luck and we are thinking about you. Please keep us posted.

[mharling]

Nothing to add, but I'll be thinking of all 3 of you too. Please let us know how everything goes.

Mary
Mommy to Lane Michael 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b33928e40550

[JMarie]

Be thankful your wife's doctors are on top of this - I have a family history of pre-term labor and my OB's dismissed my concerns. They never did an internal past my first appointment at 6 weeks, even though I asked them to and told them I was having pain and pressure. I ended up delivering my son at 35 weeks and he was in the hospital for eight days. He was big - 7 pounds, 5 ounces - but still needed a little more time for his lungs to develop. It was a difficult time, but looking at him now, you would never know he was early. I was early, all my sisters and brother were early, nieces were early, and we are all healthy, happy, normal (relatively speaking...) people. It sounds like everyone is making sure your wife and child get the best possible care and chance of a full-term delivery, but just in case she goes a little early, know that there are PLENTY of us out here who have success stories with our preemies (I think four or five were born early this year!). I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers, and please keep us posted on their progress.

Jennifer
Mom to Aidan Christopher 01/28/03

[Virginia Dad]

I too am already thinking about how to terrorize young men in the future! I never thought I would be as excited as I am about having a girl, but I can't describe the feeling of pure joy that I had when they told us it was a girl. My wife is already putting her foot down about the spoiling of "daddy's little girl' that she knows will take place.

[celfsh]

I will also be thinking of you and praying that all goes well. Please keep us posted.

celeste
mom to olivia 9/25/02
http://homepage.mac.com/the_big_fish

[SASM]

Hi there.

I am sorry to hear about your scare. I will definitely say a prayer for you. I would celebrate every Tuesday after I hit "28 weeks" ~ I was born at 28 weeks gestation, 30 years ago. I kept thinking that once I hit 28 weeks we would be home-free :-) You cannot imagine my excitement when I hit the 30's!!

Please take care!! Just be by your wife's side and do some relaxing things. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[parkersmama]

Just adding my thoughts and prayers. Hoping everything stays put and she makes it til the end with no more problems!

[megsmom]

I thought I'd reassure you with my experience. I think my cervix was starting to thin a little bit around this time as well. I'd had early and frequent contractions since 29 weeks and the baby was actually starting to settle into the pelvis around 33-34 weeks creating some definite pressure and discomfort for me. I slowly dilated and effaced over the next several weeks until I delivered a healthy 9 pounder at 41 weeks! Every woman's experience is different, but there's no harm in resting some. They don't even check a lot of women's cervix's until 36 weeks so who knows how many of us were walking around dilated and went on to deliver healthy term babies. It's hard not to worry with your first. Sometimes all you can do is pray and toss it up to a higher power (if you believe in one) to take care of you guys.

Jen (a Virginia mom)
mom to Meghan 7/13/01
and #2 EDD 11/12/03

[kathsmom]

Virginia Dad,

I don't have any experience with what you are going through, but just wanted to let you know that you and your wife and baby are in our thoughts and prayers. Take care and keep us posted on what is going on.

Toni - mom to Katherine (5/19/96) and Andrew (9/23/02)

[Annette_C]

I wanted to add my wishes for a healthy, full term pregnancy and tell you that your DW will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Let us know on Monday how she's doing because we care.
Good luck!
Annette
SAHM to Sabrina 6/24/02

[COElizabeth]

Wonderful news! I hope things go smoothly the rest of the pregnancy and that your DW feels well. Thanks for the update!

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[Virginia Dad]

Thank you. We are truly relieved.

[StaceyKim]

I think the best thing to do is to listen to your doctor and don't hesitate to call her if you have any concerns. Your wife should take it easy for the rest of her pregnancy. I am sure everything will be fine!!!
Keep us posted and good luck!