TRADITIONS!!!!

[mama2be]

Now that I have started my little family...I am seeking great traditions to start...anyones...religious, festive, fun anything that I can make a constant tradition year after year...decade after decade...

Anyone have any to share...I know I have spent my life hearing some and saying "when I get married and have children I will do that"...many have faded in my mind but some have remained...lets share and learn from eachother...this could be fun...

[mama2be]

Two that come to mind for me...EDITED TO CHANGE MY "TWO" TO "SEVERAL":)

I so want to teach Tristan about all religions and to appreciate all faiths religions, cultures and people...to embrace diversity to it's fullest and to appreciate it so much. I'd like to educate myself on the big holidays of the differnt faiths and to show him how they celebrate. This will be a learning process for me too...Clarified to stress "learning process" meaning to learn/educate myslef about the actual traditions...I have always appreciated and loved differences (thanks mom and dad) :)...

I also want to have us write down what we are most Thankful for each year and to read them at the dinner table on Thanksgiving day out loud to eachother!!!


I really hope this one sticks...but I think of all of the Birthdays I have had and have celebrated for me and I never really stopped and thought till this past one (post Tristan) that 36 YEARS AGO MY MOM GAVE BIRTH TO ME...THAT SHE WENT THRU AN AMAZING EXPERIENCE ON THAT DAY THAT IT IS NOT JUST MY DAY...I'd like to think that every year on Tristan's birthday that we celebrate his day...but at the 11:30 PM hour when I had him that STeve and I are "toasting" the great experience that we had on that day...that it is our day secretly too :)...

Along the lines of the birthday I am trying tomake a commitment to every year on Steve's Birthday to send his parents a note letting them know how grateful I am for him!!!!

I do practice this...on Steve's and my anniversary we make a contribution tot he church where we were married. Our Minister let it slip once that he never hears from brides and grooms after he marries them and he is a fantastic man...I make certain he knows that we are very thankful for him!!!

Those are mine...I can only hope I keep it/them up and started...!!!
Even ideas would be great even if you don't "practice" them please share!!!

[cara1]

I've been writing a letter to my DS on Mother's Day and sealing it in an enevelope. I will give him the stack one day, but I'm not sure when. Either HS graduation, his wedding day, or the birth of his first child.

[sweetbasil]

This year at Christmas, we all spent time writing blessings for one another- it was Christmas for my side of the family, so my parents, sister and BIL, DH, DS, mom's mom, and me....

We all wrote out blessings, sealed them in envelopes, and put them on the Christmas tree. Then on Christmas day, we sat around reading (silently) the blessings that everyone had written to us, and got to keep them so we can look back at them all year long.

So it's not a tradition yet, but this year was a great start! DH is always disgusted with the commercialism of holidays, instead of the real point of the holiday we're celebrating, so this captured the spirit of Christmas- celebrating, gratefulness, thankfulness, encouragement, etc.

[Andrea S]

I love the birthday toasting one. I am excited to see what everyone else does I want to start some traditions for Andrew and future kids. Most of the ones I had growing up were around Christmas.

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[Jen841]

I have a Birthday Journal ready for the baby, not that I have done much other than purchase it on Amazon.com. We have the Anniversary Journal and enjoy having it, and hope our children will enjoy it some day.

It is a fun way to keep track of things annually. It requires 1 page of writing and a picture. I think it will be nice to give to my child or his/her spouse when they get married (my MIL gave me my son's baby book.) I think it will be funny to look and see how the child grows from Seasame Street birthday themes to Rollerskating parties,...

Here is what I bought....http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0927510979/ref=cm_wl_ovu-pg.1-pos.1/002-0444420-5165613?v=glance&coliid=I3RJLSKOBIDTFF&me=ATVPDKIKX0DER

Here is what we already have for our wedding anniversaries. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1892953005/ref=cm_wl_ovu-pg.1-pos.2/002-0444420-5165613?v=glance&coliid=I17FSP2A9H2G8Z&me=ATVPDKIKX0DER

[lukkykatt]

First, I love your toasting the birthday idea; I may do that one too!

For Christmas, DH and I always think of a gift that the two of us can use together, instead of each of us getting a gift for the other person. It is really fun to think of something that we will both use together in the upcoming year. I'd like to think that in the years ahead, after my boys are done with the Santa Claus phase, that we could pick a family gift all together, and then just exchange a few small gifts.

My mother always made Valentine's Day special for us by getting us a little treat to eat, and also getting us a present - nothing extravagent, but always RED. Just a special way to remind us how much we were loved. I am going to start doing that.

Also, my youngest son came home from the hospital (after his birth)last year on Father's Day. I was trying to think of something special that I could do to tie in his coming home, with Father's Day, but also include my other son too. If anyone has any ideas, I would love to hear them!

[DDowning]

I'm looking forward to carrying on a tradition that started when DH was born. My MIL sent me his going home outfit and his christening gown when he was baptised. The same outfits were used by his sister when she had her son two years ago. I'm looking forward to passing on the outfits to our son's future children.

[Karenn]

A girlfriend of mine with 3 children takes each of them out for a "special day" on their birthday. Just the two of them go eat lunch, and then she has a professional portrait taken of the child. I'm hoping to do this with Colin and any other kids that may come along. Otherwise, I know there is the distinct possibility that the years will slip by and I will be without any formal pictures!

[nathansmom]

we have a chuckwagon breakfast every july 24. this is a state holiday and we join in on any activities planned.

i love your ideas neve. i'm thinking of using them.

[August Mom]

Thanks for the links. I have the anniversary book but didn't know there was a birthday one. How fun!

[ddmarsh]

We have many but one of my very favorites is that every Christmas Eve when I was growing up (even through the first year I was married!) my mom always had a Christmas Eve gift for us which was *always* new pajamas. I started this with my children and have continued it as well. They are only just now realizing that it's jammies every year, LOL. I don't know what it is about this tradition, I think not only is b/c it has been done every year but also because it also somehow signals the start of the countdown to Christmas morning to me.

[nigele]

What a great post, Neve! I am teary-eyed reading all the ideas!

My Mom made the holidays special for us as children and to this day, I still remember how wonderful the traditions were - they are some of my best childhood memories and I want my children to have the same wonderful traditions. Here are a few:

Easter - instead of an Easter basket, she would give the girls a new purse or bag filled with goodies. I can't remember what she gave my brother but I'll have to call him...

Birthdays - first thing in the morning, on our birthday, she would declare "It's your birthday and you're the boss of the whole house." We got to decide where to go or what to do all day, choose what was for dinner, choose what shows to watch, boss our siblings around - to get us drinks, play a game with us, etc. ;-)

Christmas - my Dad would leave the house in the afternoon on Christmas Eve and without fail, while he was gone, Santa would show up to visit us. When Santa left, my Dad came back and we had to tell him he missed Santa Claus! That night, my Mom and Dad gave us their Christmas gift to us, which was always a new nightgown, or pajamas. My Mom later told me that she did this so she could get great photos!

I can't wait for all of the other posts!

[AngelaS]

For Christmas here, we give dd three gifts. This is symbolic of the three gifts the Wise Men gave to baby Jesus. She's hardly gypped on that day: she gets tons of gifts from relatives and it's also her birthday...

For MY birthday, we eat cake for breakfast. DD is 5 now and LOVES this tradition!! She talks about it for MONTHS! LOL

[parkersmama]

Ooh! Good idea! I just love traditions!

We have several...some ones that I had as a child and some are new.

For Christmas...all my life my parents and my maternal grandparents bought me and my brother each a Christmas ornament. When I got married at age 25, I had at least 50 ornaments and all of them are special. My mother was great about putting them in sandwich baggies with a slip of paper that tells who it's from, a description of the ornament and the year. I've been doing this for my own kids and it's a lot of fun to choose an ornament each year from a special place we've been or a special interest they had that year, etc. Also, both boys got a Snowbabies ornament their first Christmas so I'll be buying one for Amy Grace as well.

Also at Christmas we open one small gift on Christmas Eve (a toy...although new pjs is nice!). This was a tradition from my childhood, too.

On birthdays we make the whole day revolve around the birthday person. They get to choose meals, a restaurant to go to, and what to do. I also do birthday party's at home that have a theme and invite friends. I try really hard to make them lots of fun and special for the child. It's more work than doing it at Burger King or the skating rink but I hope it'll mean more to look back on. Parker has had a puppy party and a dinosaur party that were both lots of fun.

I also do small gifts for Valentine's and Easter and try to make "homemade" Halloween costumes. It's important to me that my kids know that I will spend my time working with them and on things for them. Looking back at my childhood I remember how special it was that my mom took time for me.

We are also trying to start a tradition of going to the same beach for a vacation every year, even if it's only for a weekend. We like to do new vacations, too, but the familiarity of going to the same place is nice and something I think we'll all look back on fondly.

My kids have also worn the same baptism gown that I did. I'm hoping to one day embroider it somehow with the initials and dates of each baby who has worn it and continue to hand it down.

I guess most of our traditions involve special holidays but I believe in making the holidays and birthdays special because it gives you something to look forward to every year. New experiences are great but having some things that remain constant is comforting and rewarding, too.

[jd11365]

I just got a book for the very same thing! It's called Making Memories: A Parents Guide to Making Childhood Memories that Last a Lifetime. It's by Josie Bissett (Jane from Melrose Place) and I recommend it highly.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1888387734/qid=1054159206/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-4907697-4778362?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I have heard of families doing this for the main reason that in all the Christmas morning pictures, the kids are wearing nice new jammies instead of old faded ones. :)

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel 2/27/91
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[stillplayswithbarbies]

>I so want to teach Tristan about all religions and to
>appreciate all faiths religions, cultures and people...to
>embrace diversity to it's fullest and to appreciate it so
>much. I'd like to educate myself on the big holidays of the
>differnt faiths and to show him how they celebrate. This
>will be a learning process for me too...Clarified to stress
>"learning process" meaning to learn/educate myslef about the
>actual traditions...I have always appreciated and loved
>differences (thanks mom and dad) :)...
>

There is a book that is written for kids to read called "Faith's Journey" by Christine Verney Isaac

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewwork.asp?AuthorID=3151

It goes through the major religions and explains the basic premise and traditions of that religion. I got it for my son to read when he was 10, but it would be good for you to get some ideas of traditions from, and for Tristan to read later when he is older.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel 2/27/91
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[MartiesMom2B]

My mom is Chinese and Chinese New Year was my favorite holiday and my favorite tradition. I loved it - getting together with all of family and eating hotpot. Hotpot is kind of a chinese style fondue. It was sooo fun to get together and cook your own food. And then of course we would get our red pockets usually stuffed with a $20.00 bill. In order to get your pocket you have to bow three times to your relatives and say "Gongshi Gongshi" each time you bowed. I'm sure the adults got a kick out of this.

Neve, are there any Philipino traditions like this from Steve's side of the family? I would really like Martie to know about her Chinese ancestry, even though I hated learning about it when I was a kid. Chinese school was the worse. I got yelled at for being lazy at writing my characters.

Oh and my Christmas tradition that I've had with Mike is to get a new Santa ornament every year.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[cinrein]

One that dh and I started when we got married is that every New Years Day we have the traditional good luck dinner in our dining room using the china and crystal. I plan to continue this with Anna as well. It feels good to start the year off in style! Plus, why save it "only for company".

On our wedding anniversary, we look at our wedding album and remember our wedding. This will be fun to do with Anna when she's older.

We always get a Christmas ornament from places that we vacation. It's fun to "revisit" those places when you trim the tree at Christmas.

Cindy
Mama to Anna 2/11/03

[alleyoop]

First day of School! Until I left for college, my Mom always made us milkshakes for breakfast on the first day of school (with our pick of ice cream flavor). Good thing that my sisters and I always wanted Mint-chocolate chip... or we would have had a cat fight on our hands!

Also, Valentines was a pretty big deal in our house. All three of us girls always had a small heart-shaped box of chocolates at the foot of our bed when we woke up and often Dad would bring home a flower for each of us! As we got older, the candy was replaced with a fun bra and panty set from Mom. I wonder what they would have done if they had had boys??

Somehow, all of the best traditions in our family revolved around food...hmmmm!

-Heather and Nate (9/28/02)

[mamahill]

First and foremost, is the RED PLATE. My mom had a red plate set (just red glass, as I recall) that you got to eat off of when it was your special day. So if it was your birthday, you did something exceptional at school, graduated, earned an honor of some type, etc., you got the red plate. It has continued throughout, and when I got married, one of my shower gifts from my mom was a red place setting for my family. I've seen "Special Plates" in stores, but ours was just a plain red glass plate. DH's family had a similar tradition, but it was with a silver goblet. We can't find one now, that doesn't have the year, or grape leaves, on it. I love red plate days.

On birthdays, whenever we came into the kitchen for breakfast, there would be streamers and a sign wishing the person a happy birthday. My parents would put them up the night before, after we had gone to bed. I remember the year I was turning 15, I had to get up to be at school early, and I thought for sure my parents wouldn't have done it, with me being so "old" and all. But I came into the kitchen to streamers, balloons, a sign wishing me happy birthday, and an appointment card informing me the next day I was going to be fitted for contacts (what I REALLY wanted, but didn't think I'd get). It meant a lot, and my parents still decorate for us! Also, just in the past couple years, we've begun a new tradition of singing the birthday song as loudly (but still nicely, and harmonizing!) as possible.

My mom also recounts the birth story each year. We also open new pjs on Christmas Eve. My mom took pictures of us on the front step of our house in our 'First Day of School' outfit each year. My dad interviewed us on camera after our first day of school each year (a painful experience, but fun to look back on!). My dad sends his MIL flowers and a card on my mom's birthday each year. I think that's nice. I've begun sending my mom a card on my birthday, but I've only done that since Ainsleigh was born (so twice now) since I have a better idea of what she went through!

Sunday nights my dad pops popcorn. He's a master butter-er :). When I was little we watched the muppets. Since it started, and even now, we watch the Simpsons.

I'm sure there are more, but that gives a nice overview. Good idea for a thread. I love traditions! TRADITION! (sunrise, sunset...)

[AngelaS]

My mom always took the first day of school pictures in front of the front door too. Those are fun to look back on. Remember how many hours you spent deciding what to wear on that all important first day??

And, then when we got home from school, there would be fresh cookies waiting for us. My mom delivered them to me my first year of college too. The second year of college, she'd just found out she had cancer and was in the hospital. But someone had brought her cookies and she gave them to me 'cause it was the first day of school. Traditions die hard.....

Another good friend of mine's mom always made 'snow day cookies'. They started out as 'First snow' cookies and his mom made them to celebrate the first snow fall of the year. As he got older tho, she made them EVERY time it snowed so we'd all go to his house to enjoy cookies on snowy days. :) I think it started as a way to warm him up after walking home from school on snowy days, but in high school, it attracted all his friends. LOL

[mama2be]

I agree Lisa it has left me teary :)...

I am printing it when it fizzles and saving it and want to incorporate everything...I love each and every idea, WOW you all seem like you had the greatest house holds!!!! I just love everything i read!!!

I remembered last night while tucking into bed that when we lived in Germany there was "Kris Kringle" day...their santa was tall and thin and I think it was December 6th that we would put a shoe outside our door and if you were bad it was filled with switches and if you were good it was filled with treats. many compnaies marketed "switches and candy" together as a joke. I always put os much thought into that it wasn't fair my brother's shoes were bigger...it was all aboutt he size and what Kris Kringle could fit into you shoe. I always put out my painted hot pink wooden clogs from Holland :)...

A nurse I worked with used a nativity set on display and daily/weekly or some schedule she would have the kids ADD at differnt time intervals
Just the Manger
The Animals
The angel
Virgin Mary and Joseph
Baby Jesus appeared on the 25th

and then the hole time the wise men were situated approaching the manger and she would move them closer and closer :)...

[blissful mom]

My dh is Eastern European descent, and I am Irish/Native American. So we are trying to pass all of those on to our children. One thing that we will do is on Christmas, we will all go to Midnight Mass and come home to a traditional Czech/Slovak meal with Kolaches--celebration pastries that were served at our wedding, also.

We will put a red vigil candle in our window on Christmas Eve to welcome the Holy Family, like they do in parts of Ireland.

Another tradition we want to start is to invite a woman and her children from a local shelter into our home ever T'Giving and Christmas for dinner and conversation. We'd like our kids to think of others at the holidays, and we'd like to keep it from getting too materialistic.

I don't know much about my Choctaw heritage. My family tried so long to hide it. But the more I find out, the more I will incorporate those. I like the nativity scene tradition someone mentioned. In my family, it was always the youngest child who put the Christ-child in the manger on Christmas Day (right after Christmas mass). Another thing I have heard of is making a manger at the beginning of Advent, and each time you make a small or large sacrifice for a family member during Advent, you put a piece of straw in the manger. It is a symbolic act of welcoming and making Jesus comfortable in our lives by our good deeds.

On birthdays, I'd like to make a crown of flowers for the honoured child.

Wow, I love this topic! There are so many good ideas that have been posted, this is so much fun!

Donna

[mama2be]

Donna love your post!!!

love the straw idea love it all :)...my parents are on the board of two homeless shelters in their area in northern va we would go and serve the homeless there every thanksgiving and actually stay and eat there with them...

Steve and I one year here went in the early afternoon "first shift" our first year here in Raleigh and served but then went to friends to celebrate after and I loved that...we plan to keep that up BUT they actually have so many volunteers that we trip over eachother...but this gave us both experiences...sharing and our day...

My absolute favorite Thansgiving was one of my girlfriends had a enighbor with AIDS Meals on Wheels delivered a Thanksgiving to him and he invited us...it was just special and so enjoyed!!!!

The orignial owner of my dog was a homeless man and I acutally invited him over once went to get him and he had forgotten...in hind site I am glad for that and don't want to scare you but just soemthing to think about (and I hate raining on a parade of kindness but just want to bring it to your attention) some people in need can "adopt" you and you have to becareful when you open your home they know where you live and if a strong mental illness is present it might not show itself on that glorious day BUT in the future it could. i had a chance with my first pregnancy (was working) to have a great gal to nanny, she would have brought her baby and she was a women in need...I thought "win win". But her estranged hubby was crazy, beat her in the past and after much thought I really was inviting him to possibly flip out and come to my home at some time...
The little Smart girls abduction was beleived to have started with the family hiring a homeless man to do work at the home (somehting I would have done until recently)...just alittle soemthing to think about. I almost didn't post this but you sound like me and I jsut want to give you something to think about as sad as that is...

I wouldn't really be fearful of a mom with children but you have to factor in ex husbands getting wind...new boyfriends getting wind...mental illness, possibly drugs and drinking of their friends at shelters who hear about you the kind hearted family...just something to think about...

sorry i'm pecking one handed here with a wiggle worm...

[daisymommy]

How funny! We do the same thing! I am almost 30 years old, and I still look for my jammies under the tree from my mama!

[Rachels]

Our Christmas eve gift was always a special book. We would read ourselves to sleep and wake up to Christmas. I picked out a special book for Abigail this year for Christmas Eve.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[daisymommy]

I'm so glad you mentioned the Red Plate idea. This has been a tradition in our family since I was about 5 years old. We had one that said around the edge "You are special today". It always showed up at the dinner table for birthdays, promotions, good grades, good deeds done, etc. It was such a memorable tradtion in our family that for my first birthday after DH and I were married he searched long and hard for a red plate like I had back home, and finally paid $40 for one on Ebay (so much to spend on a plate, but it was so cherished!).

[jubilee]

On Christmas morning we start the day by singing Happy Birthday and eating cake, for Jesus' birthday. My oldest son is always impressed we are eating cake for breakfast. :)
My friend that has teenage daughters has a tradition I want to do if I have a baby girl someday. On the day they start their period, she doesn't have them go to school and they celebrate "Womanhood Day". They go out shopping for new clothes, have lunch, talk about being a woman, etc. Since I remember being embarrased to start my period, I thought this was a special way to make it a celebration.

[MartiesMom2B]

Julie:

I love womanhood day. It's going in the file for Martie when she gets hers. I remember being dissapointed that my mom didn't make a big deal when I got mine.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[COElizabeth]

Wonderful stories!!! At our wedding, the minister (who is a friend of mine) gave us a letter she had written to us, and we have started a tradition of reading it again on our anniversary (but we have had just one so far!).

When I was growing up, almost every Christmas season we went to a Yule Fest in Austin and twirled around and around under a big Christmas tree made of strands of lights strung from a tall pole. We always got dizzy and fell down and then had hot chocolate and visited the little post office where you could send a letter to Santa. We also usually visited a church that had a live nativity scene.

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[mama2be]

They did this on the Cosby show!!!! I think it was with Rudy the mom took her out and called it that!!!

[kransden]

I would like to start this out with a disclaimer: I am not saying all people or shelters are like this, most aren't (I volunteer at an AIDS food pantry and it is great), but you have to be careful!

You are so right about some of the poor women in homeless shelters. Often they have mental problems/crazy husbands. Think of how they and their children might feel at your house: ill-at-ease and uncomfortable, the kids might destroy your house and/or steal, or they might think you are an easy mark.

Instead, why not pick a day - not a holiday- say the first Saturday in August or something and make that your annual charity day. Ask a shelter what they need for help. Go serve food or ask to adopt a family and find out what the mom needs - shampoo, kids clothes etc. Everyone thinks of people during the holidays, but the need is there all year around.

One last thing, make sure the people get the items. Sometimes the people that work in the office are a little "light fingered". A friend spent time in a shelter (crazy husband) and they were hungry all the time, but the office staff had no problem eating the free food. I had a cow when I found out.


Karin
Katie 10/24/02

[Caitlins Mommy]

On the day Caitlin was born,DH and I save that day to just spend time with her.We do have a birthday party for her with family and friends a week before her b-day,but we feel that the day she entered this world should just be for us.


On Christmas Eve Caitlin and I bake/decorate a cake together,and sing happy birthday to baby Jesus.I would have never thought about doing this,if it wasn't for the fact that my mom did this with me as a little kid.

Also when I was growing up,if it was your birthday, first day of school,got on the honnor roll,or achived a great acomplishment,my mom would let use use her great ,great,great,grandmothers silver and china.My mom gave it to me when Caitlin was born ,so I could do this for her.It was the best baby shower gift I could ever recieve, because it has alot of sentimental value.


I also make a date with Caitlin once a mounth.I let her decided in advance what we are going to do.Then I mark it down on the calender,and we count down how many more days left untill our date,by crossing off the days on the calender each morning.Last mounth we went clothes shopping ,and got our nails done(she is such a girlie,girl)

Caitlin also asked me if she could learn how to speak Spanish,and started to ask me about Mexico.So I signed us up to take a spanish class at our local communtiy college.We are also going to start to take clases to learn about different languages,and cultures.

I also wanted to teach Caitlin about compassion for other people/animals.So once a mounth we pick out a different charity,and she goes with me to voluntear{sp?}

This was such a great topic to post.Thank you for starting this Neve.I love to read about families different traditions.Have fun creating traditions with your precious little family!


Jennifer mommy to Caitlin Hope 9/28/96
Trying to give Caitlin a brother or sister

[mama2be]

OH Karin no disclaimer needed, I felt I should have put one in my post too but we all know we are not talking aobut everyone we are just stating a possibility...and you are so right!!!

I was typing earlier with one hand and a wiggly baby so it was hard for me to really say what I wanted to say. I wanted to stress that even the women and children are the sweetest people in the world there are so many more dynamics that can come into play with people around them.

I am so sad to say that I did an internship my sophmore year in college at one of the shelters for the month of Jan and "The Limited" gave us tons of clothes that needed repairs and I remember getting offered to take some home...I was thrilled and took them home and didn't think twice about it it was my mom who mended them and made me take them back for who they were donated for. Which now as I am older makes total sense to me...so what you say Karin is so true!!!!