Spacing your kids apart...

[CherylT]

I can barely believe it, but DH and I have actually been thinking about having another child (we don't feel that our family is 'complete' yet). I am curious what everyone's take is on spacing your children apart. We have a 2 year difference between DD and DS, but are debating whether 2 or 3 years would be best for child #3 (DH thinks 2, I think 3 - course I'm the one that has to wrangle them all by myself during the day :)). I have 3 brothers and we are all 3 years apart except my last 2 brothers are only 2 years apart. My brothers that are 2 years apart are much better friends than the rest of us, but they also fought much more too. What do you all think?

Cheryl
SAHM to Lilli 9/20/00 & Alec 10/21/02

[mamahill]

I wish there was a set answer to this! Beth asked a similar question a couple months ago and the responses were as varied as the respondees. I think the basic idea is that it totally depends on your children's personalities (like you can control THAT?!). My sister and I are 3 years apart and we're very close. A friend of mine has boys 18 months apart, and then one 4 years younger. The boys with the 4-year gap are MUCH closer than the two boys 18 months apart. So I think it just depends on what is easier for you. For us, we're on the 3-year plan because I just don't know how you do it with them 2 years apart! And the thought of getting pregnant right now makes me ill (and I had a good pregnancy!).

Good luck, whatever you decide!

[egoldber]

Cheryl, here's the link to the earlier thread:

http://www.windsorpeak.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi?az=read_count&om=675&forum=DCForumID30

I think that what I learned most there was that there is NO perfect spacing. You just have to decide what works best for you.

Good luck!

[AngelaS]

I used to be a nanny. The kids were exactly two years apart. That was HARD! LOL

My girls are 4.5 years apart. Yes, I kinda started all over just when life was getting REALLY easy, but big sis is SUCH a great helper, I don't have to worry about her hurting the baby, she was content to spend the morning sickness mornings watching movies and eating yogurt that she served herself....you get the idea.

I LOVE this spacing! :D

[twins r fun]

That spacing is very enticing to me. I think it would be neat to be able to have one on one time with the infant/toddler/preschooler while the older one (in my case two) is at school. I worry about it not being as special the 2nd time around because you won't have many of those calm just you and the baby moments. The drawback to that for me is that I would be home from work forever-the actual drawback being finances there! I think if I could have a second set of twins right as the boys go to kindergarten that would be perfect. I wouldn't have to worry about the large gap between the two sets because they'd still have a sibling REALLY close in age! Now only if you could place an order for stuff like that- "two babies in the year 2007, hold the morning sickness, heartburn, and bedrest, please!"

[bluej]

I can vouch for the 4.5-5 year spacing. I think it's wonderful. My kids are 4.5-5 years apart. It is very nice to have the one on one time w/ each child. It's also nice to have eager little helpers that are old enough to understand their limits in helping and yet actually be helpful at the same time. Not to mention how nice it is to get a couple years of rest b/w babies :)

[caroliner]

My sister and I are 21 months apart and are the best of friends... we definitely did fight growing up, but all fights were easily forgotten... I have a brothers 3, 7 and 9 years older and I was not anywhere near as close to any of them... my sister and I were always able to enjoy the same activities, play together and had (and still have) a lot of the same friends. I enjoyed this spacing so much that I am having my 2 only 19 months apart, but that is all based on my own personal experience. I think that whatever you decide will probably work just fine since it will be based on what you think is best for your own family.

[CherylT]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and thanks for the link (teaches me for being absent for a while). I think in hindsight a greater number of years between kids would be great since I could spend more one-on-one time with them (I worry about that now), however I've got the 'age' thing working against me so I don't have that luxury. Anyway, thanks again for your insights!!

Cheryl
SAHM to Lilli 9/20/00 & Alec 10/21/02