The Safety of Co-Sleeping?

[MartiesMom2B]

We are currently co-sleeping w/ Martie but I'm starting to wonder about the safety of co-sleeping. I have read the guidelines of co-sleeping from Dr. Sears and the attachment parenting website, but am still unsure of the safety. What if the co-sleeping guides are propaganda? I do follow the guidelines too. I co-slept with my parents and I didn't get rolled over on.

One of my friends is a local police officer and told me about a heartbreaking call he had to respond to because a mother rolled over on her infant, and the infant suffocated. My MIL also pointed out to me a Dear Abby column in which a 3 week old infant suffocated to death in the bed w/ parents. I've even seen this debated on Dr. Phil in which he said that there is no proof that there is a reduction in SIDS w/ co-sleeping.

I've started to transition Martie to the crib, but I still get a little panicky when she sleeps with us. Your thoughts?

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[flagger]

Quite frankly for us the risks of co-sleeping outweigh any benefit.

According to the AAP and the CPSC, there is no reduction in the chance of SIDS with co-sleeping.

Other risks include:

Parents can roll over on baby (AAP; CPSC)
Baby can fall off the bed (AAP; CPSC)
Baby can fall between wall and headboard (American AAP; CPSC)
Baby can suffocate in loose bedding (AAP; CPSC)

Edited to add: While it doesn't work for us, we respect that many other parents co-sleep peacefully with no harm coming to their baby. It is just not something that works for us as a family. We respect the differences in how all of us individually choose to raise our children.

[sparkeze]

I've been co-sleeping with my now 14 mo DS and we haven't had any problems. If you look into the stories of how dangerous co-sleeping is you're likely to find alcohol, drugs, obesity, or some other factor involved that is out of the ordinary. If you follow the guidelines it is very unlikely that co-sleeping itself will cause any harm.

My DH has witnessed many times where I looked as if I was going to roll on top of DS, but instead of rolling I actually shifted my whole body over if I wanted to change my position. I think there is some truth to the possibility of the reduction of SIDS. Co-sleeping alone is not the reason, but the lifestyle factors that tend to go along with co-sleeping. Most co-sleepers also BF, wear their babies, and in general are with them 24 hours a day. It's more of a possibility that all those factors in combination provide some benefit as opposed to just sleeping next to one another.

It's obviously a very personal choice, but I started co-sleeping because I found that it helped me function during the day. After having DS in a crib (which was in the bedroom) and getting up every hour all night I was exhausted. And imagine my surprise when he slept much better next to me! Not having to get out of bed was the deciding factor for me, even if he still woke up frequently it was easier to get him back to sleep when he was right next to me. Although I started co-sleeping because I got more rest, I do enjoy it a lot. It's great to wake up and see DS snoozing away right next to me and the first thing in the morning snuggles with DS and DH are wonderful. I think if you are aware of the guidlines and are careful, it's highly unlikely that your DD will get hurt. And also, as for falling off the bed, well DS has fallen off the bed a few times when he crawled off, but I hear stories about babies hurting themselves by climbing out of cribs. And the distance from the crib rail to the floor is not any shorter than a bed mattress. And who never lays their baby down on their bed for a minute to get dressed or change the baby? It's much more likely for the baby to fall off an empty bed than one with a parent/bed rail/some type of barrier on either side.

I really recommend that you do what works for you and your family. If she sleeps great in a crib? That's great - you don't have to be pushed out to the edge of the bed while your infant lays sprawled out in the middle! :) If you co-sleep and have a few drinks one night? It's not an all or nothing deal - you can sleep separately on a night like that. Or if your baby's sick you can co-sleep even if she normally sleeps in a crib.

Besides, babies are good at letting you know what they want. SO maybe it's not your decision to make after all! :)

[kaitlinsmommy]

I can definitely relate to your post. Our daughter often slept with us and also in her bassinette. We found we didn't sleep as well because we were worried she would suffocate. While Dr. Sears does advocate sleep sharing, he also says that baby should sleep wherever is best for the family.

I can tell you that around 4 or 5 months, our baby definitely developed a preference for sleeping for us. Since we did want her in her crib, we made the move and she seems very happy sleeping there now.

I think you and hubby are the ones who should decide where you want baby to sleep. If sharing sleep is stressing you out, maybe you could try something else. While our daughter is now in the crib, I remain flexible and put her in bed with us if she is cranky or scared. There's nothing like seeing her smiling face first thing in the morning.

Kim
SAHM to Kaitlin 11-30-02

[zen_bliss]

you'll wade through the studies and the anecdotal evidence, and unapologetically figure out what is right for you.

i'd take the dear abby stuff with a jarful of salt. dear abby and a lot of daytime talk tv plays to an alarmist 'better safe than sorry' mainstream audience looking for rules and order to make sense and exert some control over a chaotic world. it just doesn't make exciting copy to feature a story where a child died and there is no identifiable proximate cause. are you, as you suggested in the dr. phil reference, sharing the bed as a protection against SIDS? that theory suggests that one cause of SIDS is that the baby 'forgets' to breathe, and the breathing patterns of mom close by help the baby keep pace. you can achieve this with a 'sidecar' pack n'play/bassinet/crib/cosleeper arrangement with baby next to you but not in the bed.

if your gut feeling is that you really want the closeness of actually sharing the bed, but you are nervous about rolling over, there is a folding mini-cot/insert called the "snugglenest" that is basically a baby body-sized mattress with 3 sides of hard plastic sides around the top to protect against rolling onto her. the bottom half does not have the sides, so if you choose, you can slide her down to BF, then slide her back up so you don't have to lift her after a meal.

best wishes for loving and happy sleep!

[4S Ranch]

We co-sleep with my 3 year old and 3 month old and love it. But to feel comfortable, we have a king size bed, I use a small heavy foam pillow (it really can't be moved by a baby so I don't feel there's a risk of smothering). We don't have a headboard, but I probably wouldn't worry about that. But we do have a co-sleeper on the side that is sort of my safety - I know the baby can't fall off the bed. And she always sleeps between me and the co-sleeper, never in between my husband and me or next to the toddler. I have the covers tucked in so they only come to our waists. And after nursing, I scooch down with my little pillow until I'm even with my baby's face. That way, IF covers were ever to migrate up, I would feel it, too. In addition to that, we have a rule that if DH has had any drinks or meds, he sleeps in the next room. Okay, so maybe it's overkill on safety, but that's the way I am. I feel very safe with all these measures in place.

My 3 year old has slept with us since she was an infant, too. We often comment how bonded we feel to them because of co-sleeping and how we cherish this time because we know it won't last long. So many times my DH and I gaze at each other lovingly while watching our babes sleep. And EVERY single night when they're asleep and I'm about to be, I have a real "in the moment" feeling of love and appreciation for my beautiful girls.

I agree, you have to do what you feel comfortable with! Just thought I'd share my tips on safety.

Shelly

[Rachels]

Mothering magazine recently had an issue entirely about cosleeping, and they shared a bunch of studies pointing to its safety and its lower SIDS risk. They definitely have a cosleeping slant, but there was LOTS of literature. Also, they had pretty solid arguments refuting some of the AAP stuff. If you look at sheer numbers of SIDS deaths and compare that with location, you'll find that the substantial majority of babies died in their cribs. I'll tell you that in a year of cosleeping, neither of us have ever rolled over on our baby. Neither has she fallen out of bed during the night, or gotten tangled in blankets, or any of that other stuff. I feel very safe in choosing this option. And when she was littler and struggling with reflux, it was clearly to her benefit to sleep with us. We were right there to help her when she coughed or sputtered.

Do what feels right! You're NOT putting your baby at risk.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[daisymommy]

I don't have time for the long answer I would like to give, because Josh is waking up from his nap and I'm still not showered ;) But I will say that we coslept with Josh and felt VERY safe about it. I was always consciously aware of him lying next to me, even in my sleep. Just like knowing where the edge of the bed is, so that you don't roll off of it, I always knew he was there and would shift my whole body to change positions rather than come close to rolling over on him (as another poster said). Also, I was so sleep deprived after Josh was born that I literally couldn't function. I was afraid of dropping him, I was so dizzy with exhaustion. But when he slept with us, we got 4 hrs of sleep in the beginning, and I felt like I could take better caer of Josh during the day. I believe that if you follow the guidelines of cosleeping (read Dr. Sears on cosleeping and reducing risk of SIDS), that your baby is just as safe, if not safer in your bed than in a crib.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t102200.asp

From Dr. Sears:
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission that showed 515 cases of accidental infant deaths occurred in an adult bed over an 8-year period between 1990 and 1997. That's about 65 deaths per year.

During the 8-year period of this study, about 34,000 total cases of SIDS occurred in the U.S. (around 4250 per year). If 65 cases of non-SIDS accidental death occurred each year in a bed, and about 4250 cases of actual SIDS occurred overall each year, then the number of accidental deaths in an adult bed is only 1.5% of the total cases of SIDS. (meaning the rest occur in a crib!).

[mama2be]

WE are co-sleeping at 3 months 2 weeks...this was so not in our plans but it has been effortless for us in that we all are lined up asleep Steve-Tristan in the middle-Me...two cats at our feet ;)...We have a king size bed and we have tons of comforters which is my only scare but we pay close attention to keeping htem away from Tristan.

I have had no concerns yet with this scenerio. we do push a pillow down betweenthe head board and the mattress and Steve makes certain that his and miy pillow do not have the opening of the cases facing Tristan we have the part sewn together facing him.

BUT with no exception up until now tristan has only made a peep to eat and then goes right back to sleep so this just works great for us. Steve each week says, "next week we'll try him in his crib" :)...

I have zero opinion if soemone should do this or not but wanted to just tell you our scenerio :)...

[jojo2324]

Hi Sonia!

We are on month 11 of co-sleeping, and we have yet to roll on top of Gannon, or find him nestled between two pillows. He has never fallen off the bed.

We started co-sleeping, like Sparkeze said, for me to get some sleep! I am non-functional when I am woken up out of a deep sleep. I can tell you now that if I sat in a chair to nurse him at 4 am, there's greater risk of me dropping him on the floor because I would just conk out. He starts the night out in his crib, and then is brought into bed for his one feeding.

All that said, it is not overly restful for me. :D Like somebody else said, you are ALWAYS aware that a baby is next to you, and then I'm a worrywart, so I wake up frequently to check for possible blanket coverage or stuck limbs. Add to that, Gannon is quite a thrasher and sometimes his legs in my armpits or gut aren't that comfortable! :) Oftentimes I wake up to find us in the shape of an H: Shawn and Joanne on either side of the bed, and Gannon sprawled out between us.

It works for some, not for others. It's a personal decision. Good luck! :D

[kransden]

I always thought the family bed people were freaks, and I wasn't going to have any of that nonsense in my house! LOL Who is sleeping in my bed? Katie!

It started when my #$%@ MIL dropped my 20 day old infant on her head. The fat old #$%@ fell asleep holding her and dropped her on the hardwood floor. (Can you tell I am still angry??) After a frightening trip to the emergeny room etc., we had her next us that night so we could check on her every few seconds. After that, there was no turning back. She wouldn't sleep in the bass. at all.

The best thing I did though was buy a Snuggle Nest at BRU. I like a lot of pillows etc. and was afraid she would smother accidently. I was waking up all the time not getting any rest. This has a protective shell around her and I slide her down to bf at 5:00 am. Now everyone is happy. She is such a wiggle worm, she slides down herself and puts her feet on the dh back to get comfortable. We keep telling ourselves she needs to go to the crib now, but we just can't make ourselves do it. The dh is even more relucant than I am. I finally just decided not to worry about it. She'll move when we're ready.

Karin
Katie 10/24/02

[gravymommy3]

Karin,

I would have killed my MIL! I guess we are lucky you are not posting this from prison, huh?? :)

I have all three kids in bed with me (DH gave up and sleeps in Grayson's room, which he prefers anyway.) I have never had a problem with rolling over or covers or pillows. But I am a very light sleeper. I could hear the babies making "smacky lips" and know they wanted to nurse. And I always slept curled around the baby so nothing could harm them.

do what you feel is right and don't let others decide for you.