Unsure about whether to keep my sitter . . .

[posterelle]

We hired a young woman to help for the summer, while I ease back into work. She's very conscientous, responsible, etc. The problem: her schedule has just changed, & she's not available the hours we originally talked about. It's just one day different, & we can adjust, but . . .

Also, while she's very responsible, etc, she gets unnerved when our baby's fussy, & she has a kindof "downer" personality. One night when we came home, she was really worn out & upset bc our baby had cried a lot. And she kept telling us about it. I'm glad she *cares*, but it seems like she shouldn't get so unnerved by it.

Meanwhile, another sitter we once used is now available for the summer. She's older, more experienced, & a natural w/babies. Very , very good with ours. (we barely have a language in common, but that's another issue . . . )

The real question is -- would it be unethical to let the original sitter go now? If , at hiring, I'd said "Let's try it out for 2 wks", then I'd feel much better @ letting her go now. But I didn't. And maybe I should just feel lucky that she's trustworthy, & responsible, etc. ???

[emilyf]

If she changed her hours then I'd say she's already broken her end of the committment, if you like the other sitter better then I wouldn't feel bad changing. Just blame it on the schedule switch.
Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02

[bluej]

I don't see anything unethical about letting her go, even if she hadn't been first to change her schedule. You are clearly more comfortable w/ the other lady. The fact that she seems to get unnerved when the baby is fussy is reason enough in my mind to switch sitters.

[spu]

that's a really good question and the fact that you're being so considerate is more than alot of folks out there. Since she's dealing with a human life (your baby!) I'd say you have the right to do whatever you want. In addition to the schedule shift, you could say it just doesn't seem to be a good fit / match with the baby being fussy and all... blame it on the baby's needs. Since she gets stressed when the baby gets fussy, that's a red flag in my book.

good luck!

susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte & else

[MartiesMom2B]

I'm one handing it, but I whole heartedly agree with Emily.

Edited to say:
I guess having a babysitter is like having a boyfriend. If you ever become unsure about either one you should dump them because you'll get nothing but heartache.

If you want to let her down "easy" just let her know that it was because of the schedule change. That's what I would do.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[mama2be]

The second I read your post I strongly felt "get the new gal!!!!" or the other gal I mean the one who is now available that you liked better. I fear that even the nicest young gal who can not handle a baby crying might "flip out" with the crying and that scares me. That doesn't mean she is not lovely...not smart...not a great gal...BUT as we all know people who can not handle a baby crying can flip real quick when put in that scenrio...I would go with the more "baby friendly" gal...

The gal who watches my dogs is a delightful girl...I adore her mom more than words can say...her mom alsways says "Britany will watch Tritan for you...she is an excelelnt babysitter!!!!" Her mom really thinks (wants) this. But everytime Britany is over she never has asked to hold Tristan and has even abruptly said to her mom "NO I don't want to" when her mom tires to push my bugaboo on her (I wish she didn't do that). Britanny is a LOVE I just would never have her watch him due to that...

You have an out...she changed her schedule...but even more accurate you might just want to say "I realiaze you have many strengths but you have been honest that a crying baby is not one of them"...

[Melanie]

There is no more important job than to care for your child. If you are concerned (and the behaviors you described would concern me) then let her go. Who cares about Ethics, it is your child. If you feel really terrible, give her a weeks pay or something.

[kransden]

Some people are baby people, some are not.
Some people are bothered by screaming babies, others aren't.
Just ask yourself this. "If something happened to my baby in this person's care could I ever forgive myself?"

When my MIL dropped my 20 day old baby, all I could do is blame myself. All week long I had that little voice saying to watch them, MIL is not in good health. Then I would argue with myself that I was being silly. I won't ever ignore that again. dd is fine BTW.

Karin
Katie 10/24/02

[posterelle]

Thanks everybody! am feeling much more confirmed in my instincts. Just to clarify -- I was not concerned that the original sitter would harm my child in any way. If i were, obviously, she'd be out of there in a second. It's just that she's not a champion soother (nor was I the first 6 wks!), & that she feels really bad when he cries.

[kransden]

I don't think the sitter would ever purposely harm your child. I can't imagine you hiring her! I know my MIL never meant to hurt dd, but it did happen. I just meant that if crying rattles her there is much more likely to be an accident, or if there is an accident she might not be able to keep her wits about her in the midst of the shreiking. I know I have a problem doing that and dd is mine!

Karin
Katie 10/24/02