5 things you would change next time around?

[ginalc]

My GF asked me this and I thought "what a great question for new parents!"
What are the 5 things you would change with the next baby? :)

gina, mom to 3

[Ryansmom]

Hmmmm... Here goes!

1. I would follow Dr. Weissbluth's advice much earlier than 9 months. This man made me a happy, happy mommy to a very good sleeper.

2. I would get tons more help with breast feeding. I did okay, but next time I plan on having more support.

3. I would ask for more help from friends and family. Who knew I wasn't Superwoman??

4. I would get in better shape before baby came along. (In progress now)

5. I would try to get to the hospital awhile before the baby is ready to make an entrance (not just a few minutes).

[Melanie]

1. Have already arranged for a Lactation Consultant to come immediately after the birth...not wait FIVE weeks.

2. Have already arranged and pre-paid for a housekeeping service (we did have one hired for the last month of pregnancy and planned for the next couple of months, but Dh lost his jobs 2 weeks before the birth...)

3. Cook! cook! cook! and freeze! freeze! freeze! foods ahead of time! We had nothing in the freezer and were going grocery shoppng the afternoon that my water broke. We had no food for a couple of weeks, only fast-food and a few meals my mom brought. If we have a baby of same sex, and a shower is offered to be hosted, I'll ask for a casserole shower.

4. Be willing and pre-arrange 'nap nanny's' for the first couple of weeks whenever someone offers. If they want to come visit the baby, that's great! Bring food and I'll be napping. We are the first of our 'group' and 'generation' to have a baby. So no one knew what it was like or remembered. Everyone just wanted to pop over at their convenience to hold baby ("what time will he be awake?" we were often asked) then go off to dinner leaving us starving and exhausted or come by after they'd gone out to dinner. Don't think so next time.

Really, I'm not a food-obsessed person, but when there isn't any, you miss it!

5. This is silly, but take preemie clothes to the birth and have a couple of outfits so something will fit those first 2 weeks.

[COElizabeth]

1. If nursing is going well, start bottle earlier and more often and continue it so baby takes it reliably when needed!

2. Swaddle more consistently and with bigger blankets. We gave it up too soon and then found it invaluable when we started again a month or so later.

3. Get a co-sleeper (in hopes of avoiding baby sleeping in car seat on floor next to me or sleeping on my chest and nearly falling out of bed because I'm so tired I almost drop him - that nearly happened once!)

4. Eat more healthily and moderately while pregnant - try to gain less weight.

5. Take more video.


Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[myllam]

Lets see,

1. I would have held my baby much much more. When they say
it goes so fast, they were not kidding! Now my DS is
22 months old and I can't catch him fast enough to get
a hug :-)

2. Don't listen to the lactation consultant when they say,
"no matter how much you practice, he won't latch correctly"
I should have switched to a new one ASAP.
(DS was 5 weeks early, so he got introduced to a bottle
early. I was so discouraged by the advice that I gave
up and ended up pumping full time for 6 months!).

3. Introduced vegetables and continued working on it much more
diligently. I'm still not convinced that not liking
vegetables is learned :-)

4. Not let DH give DS everything he asks for. Now DS goes to
DH much more often then to me because he knows who will
give in to him :-)

5. Let the housework slide more to spend time with DS. I worked
full time from 4 months on and it took a little while to
realize that picking up after everything was not as important
as spending time with DS when I came home from work. We
did hire a housekeeper and that has been a lifesaver!

[barbarhow]

Great question!

1) Take a breastfeeding class. Silly me I thought it would be one of those things that you just did, that because it is so natural it would be easy. And use an LC, immediately, the first week, not when things got really rough. (Thank God for Gina!!!)

2) Not gain as much weight in the first trimester. Oh but how I enjoyed all that ice cream.

3) Be more diligent about relaxation techniques. I took the hypnobirthing class. I totally loved the class and the concepts but did not like the tapes they gave out, found the woman's voice annoying. Should have found another tape to relax to rather than not practicing at all.

4) Get the birth announcements out sooner. Have envelopes preaddressed and stamped so that I can just put the stats on and send them out. It really stressed me out that they did not go out until DS was 10 weeks.

5) Tell my sister that it really hurt my feelings that she can't drive 20 minutes to see her new nephew. (He is 12 weeks and she has only seen him twice). I should probably not wait until the next one to deal with this......

Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[mamahill]

1. If there are signs of back labor, get the epidural ASAP, not when you stop dilating at 9.

2. Really sleep when the baby is sleeping (HA, like that will happen when I have a 3-year-old too!)

3. Introduce the bottle earlier and more consistently so s/he will take EBM.

4. Cloth diaper after meconium passes.

5. Not worry so much that I didn't fit into pre-pg clothes 6 weeks postpartum.

Off the top of my head, that's what I came up with. Good to start thinking about this now, though!

[Melanie]

>5) Tell my sister that it really hurt my feelings that she
>can't drive 20 minutes to see her new nephew. (He is 12
>weeks and she has only seen him twice). I should probably
>not wait until the next one to deal with this......
>
>Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

=( We have family members like this, too. As far as I am concerned, they are the ones missing out and they will see it eventually when they want to pop in to visit their cute nephew who wants nothing to do with them.

Mommy to Jonah

[brubeck]

Well I am done with babies (knock on wood) but here's what I actually did change for the second one:

1) I watched what I ate much more with pregnancy #2. The second time I gained about 15 pounds less than I did with #1.

2) I was much less stressed about BFing. It happened and everything was great, but I knew if it didn't work right away there were options so I relaxed and I think that helped a lot.

3) For the first 5 weeks I had someone watch the kids for about 2 hours a day so I could nap. It totally saved my sanity.

4) I cheated and had the first solid food be rice cereal WITH APPLES. Andrew loved it much more than his sister did. I also started the jarred foods with fruits and not veggies.

5) I spent time on this board during pregnancy and since Andrew's birth. I didn't have this resource available when I was pg with Amy or when she was small.

And all of this really helped!

[barbarhow]

That is finally the conclusion that I came to after many episodes of tears. It is sad for her she is 45, never married, no kids and never wanted anything more than to get married and have a family. But still her loss-not to know my beautiful son.

Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[bluej]

"1. If there are signs of back labor, get the epidural ASAP, not when you stop dilating at 9."

OMG, I couldn't agree w/ this more! Okay, my labor went fast, so I wouldn't have been able to get an epidural anyway, but it's great advice for those who have yet to have their babies. If you have back labor, get to the hospital and get your epidural ASAP! Why be in excruciating pain if you don't have to? And I have to admit, before having Ryden I wondered what was w/ all of the complaints w/ back labor. Wasn't labor painful no matter what? Nope, there's a BIG difference!

[C99]

1. Pack my "going to the hospital bag" at 31 weeks. {I didn't have anything packed or ready when I went into the hospital at 35 weeks}

2. INSIST upon breastfeeding from the get-go. {The NICU nurses fought me on this; I didn't realize that (a) it's MY baby and (b) BFing is good for preemies.}

3. Do not go back to work until the baby is 3-months-old and do not stress about going back to work until then.

4. Stock up on freezer meals before my EDD.

5. Let the baby sleep in his crib.

[blnony]

There aren't a lot of things I would really do different; but here a few:
1. I wouldn't worry about keeping house and stuff in the beginnng. I would just enjoy time with the babe. house stuff can wait.

2. I would nap when the baby naps. I didn't really do this and I was so tired all the time. It really ties in with no. 1 too.

3. I would arrange with a caterer or something like that to have food sent every other night in the first week or two. I guess you could freeze stuff (but we didn't have much freezer space and Audrey was a month early) but a friend had two dinners sent to us the first week, and it was the only real food we had for awhile until my Mom came to our rescue and cooked and cleaned for two weeks and I thought my DH was going to ask her to move in with us! :)

One thing we did that I really would do again, is limit vists in the beginning. We were 1000 miles from home when we had Audrey, so when people visted us, it was spaced out. I really liked that. We didn't have just a hoard of people to worry about at one time, and it was nice.

[Karenn]

Christine,

Can I just take your first four? That's exactly what I would have written! :) However, I got sent home from the hospital 3 times before they "let me stay" so I can't go with you on the 5th! I'd like to say "avoid back labor" for my fifth, but I'm not sure there's much I can do about that- except maybe spend time on my hands and knees!

Great idea for a thread!

[mama2be]

I can only give you two...three right now but you get back to me in the near future and I'll have you a list :)...

1. write thank you notes before baby...get them done...I write long notes and thus am always behind but I know a huge part of that is I write long ones...and then these boards...I should have wirtten notes before I even allowed myself on the boards...the guilt killed me...

2. I never ever ever would let them put me on another Hill Rom bed in the hospital. Granted I was discharged 9 hours after Tristan was born so was only there that one night in that thing but it is made for people in a coma and the movement of T and me caused it to inflate, deflate make tons of noise...not the peaceful night I wanted. The RN claimed it could not be unplugged and I didn't have the strength to fight her and should have...

3. I doubt I would let a student Anestheolgist give me an epdiral again...the student botched mine and really wish the "grand po bah" who was there and sweating did it...

[August Mom]

1) Take preemie outfits to the hospital for the baby's hospital photo and for coming home;

2) Introduce bottles of EBM earlier and more often;

3) Get the baby used to napping in the crib;

4) Send birth announcements out earlier; and

5) Take more photos of me with the baby and me and DH with the baby.

[twins r fun]

1. Drink more water!!! I think one of the reasons I went into preterm labor was because I was dehydrated.

2. Get cuter maternity clothes. I had lots of hand me downs and only a few things I picked out. I guess it worked out okay since I was on bedrest for a lot of the time, but assuming I'm not this time I want to look good during pregnancy!

3. Try harder to breastfeed as opposed to giving up and pumping. Hopefully not having babies in the NICU will help. As will having a more positive attitude about it.

4. Finish the nursery before the baby comes. The boys are 19 months and the nursery isn't done and never will be!

5. Not a change from last time, but something that will be important the next time around. Arrange for someone to come (mom or babysitter) once or twice a week so I can have alone time with the boys and alone time with the new baby.

[MelissaTC]

1. Buy a preemie outfit to take baby home in. Everything was HUGE on Matthew and still is :(

2. Not allow everyone in creation to come to visit. We had NON-STOP visitors (family) from everywhere for the weeks following the birth. I didn't realize how stressful their help would be. Next time, I just want my Mom and then everyone else can visit a few weeks later...

3. I will bring my boppy to the hospital! It was so hard at times to position my little tamale correctly with my regular bed pillows...and that c-section didn't help matters!

4. I will make an effort to nap...really, I will!

5. I will exercise during my pregnancy and make the effort to really drink my water!

[flagger]

I only have four right now.

1. Tell everyone the due date is two to three weeks later than it actually is to stop the "Is she here yet?" questions.

2. Not find out the sex of the baby.

3. Not do a Level II Ultrasound.

4. Along August Mom's suggestion as we are trying this now with varying success. Try to make sure one of us or both of us are in the picture with DD. That's what camera timers and remove shutter releases are for.

[Marisa6826]

1. Get a private room at the hospital. Had four roommates. Two were cool. The other two were experiences from hell.

2. Get a GOOD LC and fast

3. Definitely stock up on food beforehand

4. More pictures of all of us together and more video

5. Be in better shape before the pregnancy, and make more of an effort AFTER

-m

[MKH76]

1. Be more prepared for family when they come to visit to "help with the baby". My in-laws stayed with us for over a week and never once cleaned the tub or toilet, and asked me everynight what we were having for dinner. Aurgh!! We will have to have a heartfelt talk next time. A hotel would keep me sane, but we live in Alaska now and they are few and far between.

2. Pray that DH doesn't get orders to go away again for another 5 months, leaving me alone with a 7 week old coming home to a full of life 7 month old. It was hard on all of us.

3. Make sure EVERYONE knows I am breastfeeding. MIL (hmm...I'm noticing a pattern!! LOL) decided to supplement the baby with formula because she thought he wasn't getting enough of my milk, so she decided he needed formula while I napped.

4. If I do find out the sex, not tell anyone until after the baby is born.

5. I would also tell people my delivery date was 2 weeks later. I was over 10 days late with this one and I cried everytime someone would comment about me still being pregnant.

[Rachels]

I'm still working on my list. Can I put in a request for a shorter labor (preferably not posterior next time!) and an easier pregnancy? Or a baby who sleeps? Barring those, here is what comes to mind right now:

1) As Elizabeth said, I'll be more confident that this is MY baby. I got bullied a lot by my first ped into doing things that didn't feel right to me, and it made for three wildly stressful first weeks. I will trust my gut more the next time, and remember that it's okay to disregard advice that raises my blood pressure.

2) Keep a journal, at least occasionally. I kept a great one while I was pregnant, but have just quarterly updates on my actual child. I swore I would never forget those early days, but I have. Now that she's tearing around the house, I can't for the life of me figure out what we did all day long at four months old, and I regret it.

3) Have an LC lined up to come to my house within a day or two of birth, no matter what.

4) There are some things I would do differently around pregnancy and birth. I would exercise much more during pregnancy. I think I would plan a home birth. (If not, I'd wrangle some concessions out of my birth center so that I would not have to drive back and forth several times while in labor, and so that I could request one of the midwives with whom I feel safest.) I would insist on Zofran if I felt as horrible all the time as I did with Abigail. I would stop work earlier, work fewer hours overall, and rest more.

5) Hire a babysitter early whether I needed (or wanted) to leave the house or not. (I could always sneak upstairs for some uninterrupted message board time!) I never did this with Abigail because I didn't really feel the need to be away from her, but now I really wish I had found someone she and I both trusted before stranger anxiety kicked in.

This is a great thread!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[beckyr88]

This is OT, but I am curious about getting an LC for the *second* baby...I was under the (apparantly naive) impression that once we could do it, we could DO it!! Wah! We have to re-learn?

[Roleysmom]

I'm coming to this a little late but here are my five:

1.) Have the mirror in place when pushing when it looks like the arrival is imminent so I can see my child come into the world. I asked that the mirror be taken away while I was pushing because from my vantage point it looked like I wasn't making much progress (despite everybody's assertions that I was) and I found it demoralizing. I meant to ask to have it brought out again at the end, but it kinda slipped my mind!

2.) Like many before me, get a lactation consultant right away and not wait five weeks;

3.) Be a more confident public breastfeeder;

4.) Get help with the housecleaning right away, not wait six months until the house could be certified by the public health department as an unhealthful disaster (just kidding, kind of);

5.)If we decide again to take on a MAJOR home renovation while pregnant give enough time so not only is the construction done (which it wasn't) but we also have time to decorate and nest before the baby arrives. It's been seventeen months since DD's birth and we still need to choose rugs, put up our pictures, etc.

Whew! That seems like a lot.

Paula
-- mom to Roley Julia 01-04-02

[ginalc]

I nursed my first baby for 17 months without a single problem.

2nd baby nursed fine until she started sleeping through the night at 10 months. I developed mastitis and within hours I was unable to stand or drive myself to the Dr. I was amazed at how sick I got in such a short time.

3rd baby I developed mastitis 5 times in the first 3 months. I was completely unprepared for how fatigued I was caring for and nursing a 2 yr old and a new baby. I also had difficulty getting the 3rd baby to nurse well during the first 24 hours in the hospital. I had never developed a relationship with a LC before this and was unsure who could help me with my questions, even though I was a veteran nursing mom.

My request to see a LC (with baby #3) went unanswered in the hospital. I asked for a LC to visit and she showed up the next day and said "well, since this is your 3rd child, I figured you really didn't need me right away." My response? "Never assume ANYTHING!"

Every child is different, and there is always room for improvement!

gina, mom to 3
BFing for 4 yrs and counting

[smomom]

Flagger,

I'm just curious - why would you not do a level II ultrasound again? I had one the first time around (I picked that over the other recommendation - the amnio -yuk!) and was just wondering why you would not do it again.

BTW.... how are the pups doing with their new sister?

[smomom]

Here's my list:

1. look the best that I can upon arrival to the hospital. It's only going to get worse, so next time I do everything to look as good as I can when it all starts.

2. I will not equate my ability to breastfeed (or lack thereof) with my ability to be a great mom. I put way too much pressure on myself with my DS.

3. Try out the camera before taking the hospital pictures. We had a new camera that we had never used and our post-deliver pictures were garbage. (In our defense DS arrived 3 weeks early and it was on the "things to do" list to try out the new camera).

4. Take any help that is offered to me instead of trying to be superwoman.

5. Savor each moment just like we continue to do with our DS.

[MartiesMom2B]

The one thing that I would've changed if I could was stay at my crappity job if I knew I was preggers. I would have stayed there the extra 9 months knowing I would leave afterwards. However I was so happy to be leaving my job, there would be a good possibility that Martie wouldn't be here today, if you catch my drift.

To change next time around:

1) Hire a housecleaning service to clean up really good right before the due date

2) Not freak out so much about how fat I look after giving birth. I looked like the stay puff marshmallow woman with all the fluids that were given to me.

3) Make DH write the thank you notes for the gifts we got after the baby was born. I still owe notes to people and of course I didn't write everything down so now I'm racking my brain for what was sent.

4) Make my parents stay 3 weeks. Dad cooked and each meal was like a gourmet meal and my mom was great taking care of Martie. I guess the next time around mom can play and take care of Martie while I focus on newborn.

5) Buy a deep freeze for Dad to make more frozen meals for afterwards for us to eat.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[mharling]

>1. look the best that I can upon arrival to the hospital.
>It's only going to get worse, so next time I do everything
>to look as good as I can when it all starts.

ITA! I took a shower and completely did my hair and makeup before we left. Dh thought I was crazy and just laughed, but it did make a big difference! As yucky as I felt when all was said and done, I couldn't have imagined feeling that much worse.

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b3237413c427 - New 6/18

[mharling]

I've had to ponder this for a little while, but here are mine.

1. Take more pictures of me pregnant. I LIVED in overalls during the second half of my pregnancy and we don't have one picture of me full-term wearing them.

2. Cook and freeze more ahead of time. This turned out OK because my mom did some for us and dh ended up being home more than expected and did lots of the cooking for a while (and still does!).

3. Read a breastfeeding book before the baby is actually here. We're doing fine, but I still feel like there's a lot I don't know.

4. Take pictures with the doctor and nurses. Ds was born at 10:30pm. The nurse was off at 11:00 and the doctor had been on call. I figured they were anxious to get out of there so I didn't ask. I regret it!!

5. Address announcement envelopes ahead of time so I can get them out sooner.

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b3237413c427 - New 6/18

[ginalc]

You folks have some terrific ideas!!! Here's a few that I thought of while reading your posts.......

1. Hand a disposeable camera to the delivery nurses and ask them to shoot away!

2. Take the baby book to the hospital!!!

3. Ask visitors to write their own name and gifts or $$ in the baby book.

4. Take the baby book to the baby shower. Pass it around and ask everyone to write their name and gift. Also use this at the reception for the baptism. Who's thinking straight at these events anyway!?! :)

5. Ask people to address their own thank you cards if possible. OK, that might be a bit much, but maybe at the baby shower they wouldn't mind. :)

gina, mom to 3

[MartiesMom2B]

Mary:

You were so lucky. When I told DH that I wanted to take a shower before he left, he said no we had to go to the hospital that minute!

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[ginalc]

Just thought that I'd move this one up. Good ideas, folks! :)

[mama2be]

Just my opinion but I'd NEVER ask anyone to address their own thank you cards...I've never heard of that before and wouldn't dare do that-I'd be careful there...a dear girl friend can help you with addressing envelopes. not saying you have to address them (though I would) but to ask someone to address their own I think would be a HUGE faux pas (improper)...but just my 2 cents...

I also wouldn't ask them to write down their gifts...IF you had them write down their gifts I'd make certain it is one of your friends asking them to wirte down and not coming from you...but I wouldn't even suggest that...usually a good friend will keep tabs on all of that for you and write down the names for you while you open :)...that's part of the hostess responsibility.

[ginalc]

Thanks for the tip, Neve. I just had SOOOOOOOO many thank yous to send out this last time it took me months to finally finish all of them. I like to write a little message with each one and with my family and DH's, it seemed to take forever. I have trouble remembering that I DON'T have to do it all myself - I could ask a GF to help!!! :)

gina

[mama2be]

Thank god friends and close family understand...I prioritized mom's friends first since I didn't really know them and assumed they'd be the first to judge...then DH's co-workers...and still have about 4 left but more than 100 behind me. IF your girlfriends help I'd just have them write the addresses but you write the letter...I'm the same way I write so much :)...

[Marisa6826]

One of the things I did for my best friend's baby shower was to get her thank you notes that coordinated with the invites.

We printed out labels (which I personally HATE, but I didn't have time to address all the envelopes), return address labels and stamps and put them in a little bag with the list of gifts we wrote as she opened the boxes.

It was a HUGE hit and I know that many others have done it since for showers they've hosted.

Just remember to get extra thank yous for the people that didn't attend, but sent gifts anyway!


-m

[DDowning]

I can't think of all 5 right away but here's my list so far.

1. Like others I would like to watch my weight more. 4 weeks later and I'm just getting into my pre-pregnancy pants.

2. I would just schedule the C-Section and get it over with. I can't tell you how frustrating it was to labor for 10 hours only to be told, the baby's too big. The first epidural didn't take well during that time and the second was botched and didn't work right. By the time I got to the operating table to have the c-section epidural, I was one vomiting mess and completely useless 24 hours later. If I just had the c-section from the get go, I wouldn't have had so many drugs in me.

3. Have the baby get used to his/her crib from the first day.

4. Perhaps see if I can work it out next time to where the baby isn't born just when the peak of summer starts to hit. My little guy is a heat monster at night.

[liya]

Seriously.....

1. Try to loose some weight before the baby....i looked like a stuffed turkey.....

2. CD after the meconium passes...i dont think i will ever go back to the smelly sposies or the horrible experiences i had with them...

3. Get a private room....something horrible happened to my roomate and it was sooo sad to hear her cry and cry all night long and having my baby with me made her feel even worse...

4. Get an epidural if i can...I was 3 cm and all the sudden i was 10cm but i was 3 cm for like 18hrs the doctor was going to make me have a csection...

5. Get a mom(dont even ask) that helps me out and that loves me enough to spend sometime with me and my son....


thats all i would do differently

[kapow]

I'm a first-time mommy to an almost-two-week-old, so I can't really speak for what I would do differently with the next child. But here's my thoughts on what to do differently in preparation and in the first two weeks:

1. Spend time with an actual, live baby. Learn to diaper, dress, and bathe a baby before you have to do the same to your own! Even observing someone else do it would have been good. Or watching a video. I never babysat or spent time with babies and now I wish I had.

2. Take more pictures.

3. Have Mom come sooner! We brought Ian home on the 4th and Mom came on the 5th. Our worst night was the 4th. If not Mom, then have someone who can stay with you for a few nights and really help out.

4. Do NOT try to read all the sleep books out there. I overstuffed my brain with "expert" ideas, thoughts, and theories, and left very little space for my own intuition. My expectations of myself were very high and consequently I crashed hard the first week.

5. Learn a few easy relaxation techniques for when it's time to "sleep when the baby sleeps". And turn off the darned monitor when you're within earshot. I spasmed each time Ian made a whimper. And I did NOT sleep!

[loewymartin]

This one was hard :-)

1. I would "sleep when the baby sleeps". I had so many people stopping by, or my mom staying with me and felt funny sleeping during the day...not next time!

2. Which leads me to #2. Don't let everyone stop by the first week. It's just too hard - or if they do, have Ken entertain and play with Alia while I either sleep or be with the second child.

3. Leave for the hospital a little earlier (I don't know that I can actually change this as we left as soon as I felt the first contraction, which was right after my water broke, but the laboring went quickly!)

4. Relax...I was worried about bf (which ended up being a disaster); I was worried about having everything packed; I was worried about everything :-). And in the end, it didn't matter. Alia came when she wanted to, and we dealt with things as they happened.

5. Enjoy every moment. I had a meltdown with the little to no sleep I was getting, and trying to be Supermom. I know *now* that no one expected me to be at the same ability I was before I got pregnant! It takes time for the body to adjust to *not* being pregnant! And next time I will take that adjustment period to just gaze at my baby...or play a game with Alia. Just to enjoy being a family.

That's my list - of course some are easier said than others! But, at least I can try to make an effort if #2 ever happens!

Michelle - Mom to Alia born 5/16/02

[bnme]

For my girl friends shower I bought her the Thank-you notes and pre-addressed and stamped them in advance. I had all the adresses since I did the invites. I ran them through my printer so hand writing wasn't even an issue.

I think that would only be an issue if the person you were doing it for would mind ==they may want to pick there own cards, etc.

Also, in my circle (or any shower I've been to in my area -L.I, NY) a close friend or family member always jots down the gifts since unwrapping time at a shower can get hairy and the envelopes may not get inserted into the proper box and then what! Its not something we ask aloud for some one to do. It's just kind of "known" I guess. I can see it could seem awkward if its not a generally done thing in your area though.

[daisymommy]

bump so I can print all...

[newbelly2002]

Are you considering something we should know about.... :)

Paula, Mama to Dante
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b32384e84594 -6/25 update

[daisymommy]

Hee-hee. Not for me. I have a friend who's expecting, and she was asking me for advice. I realized alot of the things I was telling her were things that I would do next time around with my second baby. I remembered this great list, and thought it would be wise to print out and save for myself and friends. By the time I'd need it, it would probably be kicked out of the archives here. You guys wouldn't believe how much stuff I print out from here. I have it all in a big 2" 3-ring binder with index tabs for subjects (feeding, sleeping, gear, etc.). It has come in really handy at times!