Will/Guardianship

[jd11365]

I tried to do a search as I know this was discussed before but couldn't find it...

Heaven forbid something were to happen to my DH and I, I would like to have an official guardianship set up as well as a designation of trust for the baby. I really don't want to get a generic will at Staples and fill it out...I guess I don't trust the validity...maybe I'm wrong. And I don't want to have something verbal...I want this completely clear and legal. I am also not in the position to spend a ton of money now that I am a SAHM, though I know this is an important document. I know several of you are attorney's and might be able to shed some light on the subject for me.

Thanks!

[flagger]

This is something we are in the process of doing now. We have budgeted between $400 and $500 for this. The only thing slowing us down, is we have yet to discuss with the executor.

When there are kids involved to us it is worth spending the money to get everything set up properly. Remember a holographic will (handwritten, no scratch-outs, white-out) is considered a legal document. However chancing a fight between surviving relatives and the state taking custody, it is worth the extra $$$ for piece of mind.

We have asked both a primary guardian and a secondary should something happen to the primary.

Our next step is for life insurance.

[COElizabeth]

Here is one thread from early this year. As an aside, sometimes you need to check the box to search archived threads when you do a search for an old topic. That may be why you didn't find it before.

http://www.windsorpeak.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi?az=read_count&om=346&forum=DCForumID30

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[COElizabeth]

I'm sure you have thought of this, but make sure that you get insurance for both the stay-at-home parent and the one working outside the home. The stay-at-home one may not have much income, but if something happened to that person, it would probably cost a lot of money to pay for child care.

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[August Mom]

Actually, a holographic will is not binding in all states. It depends on the law of your particular state.

I'm one of those attorneys out here and I strongly recommend that you see an attorney in your state to prepare your will. There are often problems with those form wills you can buy and it is often difficult for non-lawyers to know which language from those forms to leave in, which to leave out and what language to insert where. Consequently, those wills sometimes lead to unintended consequences. Legalese is definitely a foreign language to non-lawyers. LOL Most attorneys will provide you with a free consultation. You can call to make sure. Also, you can limit costs if you have thought out what you want to do, where you want your assets to go and what percentage goes to what person or entity, the persons to be named as guardians and executor and backup selections as well. You probably also need a separate document called a trust. You will want to think about who should be in charge of the trust while you are alive (probably one of you) and after you're gone (possibly the guardians, but not necessarily). Also, it will be more economical if you go to a small law firm that specializes in or does a lot of wills, trusts and probate work. Avoid large firms if you are trying to watch costs.

Good luck.

[Melaniee]

We are wanting to do this now, as well. We met with someone about a Living Trust which is so much better than a will in our state, but the fees were something like 1800! We do not have that! I am on the hunt for a do it yourself thing to have in the meantime...anyone?

[AngelaS]

Shop around for a lawyer to write your will. We paid about $200 for each of ours, but later discovered there's a local lawyer who does them for $40, because he feels they're SO important that money shouldn't be the thing stopping you from having one! Isn't that awesome?

[kapow]

My DH and I just went through the process of getting wills & life insurance before Ian was born.

We met with a lawyer who gave us rates for a standard will and two different levels of trusts. We went back and forth before deciding to keep it simple with a will only. Our estate is so very simple right now and we're not going to set up a trust to deal with the slim possibility that we both die in the near future. It's more likely that one of us will be disabled, so we decided to get the right kinds of insurance products for us. DH's insurance is set (he qualified for the super-healthy rates, yay) and I'll be setting mine up in 2 months, once some of the pregnancy effects have worn off.

I recommend going with a lawyer and not doing it yourself, however be sure to do your research if a lawyer recommends setting up trusts. It's worth it if you have an estate to protect.

[COElizabeth]

Kelly,

I take it from your note about your life insurance that you may have run into some of the difficulties I did. I had a bit of a hard time getting life insurance because my cholesterol was high when I had the insurance physical in my third trimester, but I later found out that is NORMAL for a pregnant (and nursing) woman. The insurance company ended up accepting bloodwork done by my doctor at an earlier date, but it was still a hassle. For anyone out there TTC, I recommend getting life insurance BEFORE you get pregnant, because cholesterol, weight, and blood pressure can all go up when you are pregnant (the first two being normal!), and insurance companies can be hard to get to recognize these obvious facts!

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[ddmarsh]

Another advantage to having a lawyer draft the will is that when you require/desire any modifications down the road it can be done quite easily. Wills may be invalidated when someone believes they can "strike out" portions of it, etc.

While wills *can* be done on one's own it is just not the ideal way to do so. Often people view them as "extras" when in fact they are so crucial. Realize that if your will is deemed invalid down the road your estate will then go through intestacy and incur a huge expense to the estate and end up divided, not according to your wishes, but according the your state's statutory intestacy scheme. As someone mentioned if you look around you can certainly find someone to do one quite reasonably.

I would also suggest having a living will or durable power of attorney for healthcare drafted along with the will and/or trust.

Good luck -
Debbie

[Marisa6826]

We recently did our Wills, Guardianship, Trustees, Health Care Proxies and Living Wills. It ran us about $1500. But that's a NYC rate.

We had no idea how complex the whole thing gets. It was all very depressing, but very necessary.

We now have applications in for life insurance.

I STRONGLY recommend getting an attorney to do it for you.

-m

[pritchettzoo]

I think someone else already said this, but to reiterate, holographic (handwritten) wills are NOT valid in all states. They are not recognized here in GA, and we're not exactly a cutting-edge state!

The ones from Staples, etc. are made to comply with most state laws, so they would work in a pinch, but that's not going to put your mind at ease.

Get recommendations from people in your area for an attorney. Also, I second someone else's recommendation to go with small firms or solo practitioners. Make sure they have experience with wills & trusts. If you're talking trusts with huge sums of money, your financial advisor would be able to recommend someone. DH & I just did our wills and we did it ourselves, but we basically copied from a hornbook for our state. But he's an attorney and I'm studying for the Bar right now. I wouldn't have done it myself if not for that or if we had a large amount of property. Pretty much all we have is student loans and some mutts...

Anna
#1(DD) EDD 9/10/03

[Marisa6826]

Anna-

Just out of curiosity.... My attorney didn't recommend doing a will and naming Sophie as a beneficiary until she was born. He said it would be very complicated if, God forbid, something happened to you before you gave birth.

Were you able to get around that?

-m

[pritchettzoo]

I didn't name the child, I just specifically stated in the will that the will was made in contemplation of future children. That way DD-to-be is covered from the get-go (since we're not going to be updating it at the hospital or anything) and once we do update it to name her specifically, we'll leave the contemplation language in there and future children will be covered until the next update. We don't have enough property to have a trust pre-created, and GA laws allow the will itself to create a trust in a sense.

I hope that makes sense. It's late and I'm a wee bit nuts...

Anna
#1(DD) EDD 9/10/03

[Marisa6826]

I completely understand! :)

We realize that we are going to have to rewrite the Wills once we have another baby.

We will likely already have the life insurance by then and will have to do a Trust.

UGH.

-m

[DDowning]

We're in the middle of completing a living trust now...the paperwork is pretty intimidating! Contemplating all the "what if" scenarios is pretty taxing as well!