Tips on becoming a couple again

[flagger]

Ok your baby is now sleeping through the night. You, knock on wood, are past the colic stage. What are some tips, or things you did to remember or to become a couple again.

Sure sex would be nice, but when you are both so tired, the mind may be willing, but the body says "Gee that bed sure is comfortable." ;) I am talking just as much about intimacy.

What have you done/do you do to keep the spark alive (hell get that pilot light relit) when most of your conversations revolve around your wee one. I as an intelligent adult never once thought I would be so happy to share news that included "Honey she FINALLY pooped!"

TIA

[lizajane]

we have started waiting until after bedtime to eat dinner. one parent cooks while the other puts DS to bed. then we can eat like normal adults, instead of one at a time, or reheating, reheating, reheating...

we have also started renting movies and doing the "couch cuddle." we used to have "my spot" and "his spot" but now, we are entwined almost every evening!

and we hope that soon, we will be able to find someone to come over at 8:00, just after bedtime, so that we can go out to eat or to a movie guilt free- knowing that DS is out for the night and won't scare our friends away from parenthood with crying. (and won't scare us that our friends won't know what to do for him!)

as for the sex thing... i had a 9lb 9 1/2oz baby that was 22 inches long. so that isn't really the most fun activity for us anyway! we are still a little forced to stick with just intimacy. ;)

good luck to you!

liza

[egoldber]

We waited WAY too long to do this, but I would recommend finding a sitter that you are comfortable with ASAP. We don't have any family close by, and it has taken us this long to slowly build up a small collection of 2-3 babysitters that we really trust and that Sarah adores. It is amazing what a truly baby free evening can do for your ability to talk and re-connect.

And I gotta tell you Flagger, if you ask my DH, he would tell you that the sex vs sleep dilemma continues to swing to the sleep side WAAYYYY more often than it does on the sex side!

[Marisa6826]

Uh. Sex? What's that?? ;)

Seriously, it's been a long and difficult road already.

We're finally using a babysitter on a kind of regular basis. It really does make a difference. The sick part of it is that I would prefer to use the sitter so I can go grocery shopping! We were THRILLED to be able to go to dinner and a movie last weekend. The only thing was there wasn't a movie we wanted to see! What a bummer. The last film we saw was My Big Fat Greek Wedding. We used to go AT LEAST once a weekend. Oh...I remember those days.

We, too, have started renting movies again and it's so nice to be able to put her to bed and remember what our "old" life used to be like.

As the baby gets older, you will find it easier and easier. Promise!

-m

[houseof3boys]

Since "movie night" seems to be something everyone does I will tell you what we do every weekend. I don't know what we would do without Netflix.com since there is no way I could haul off to Blockbuster to look at rentals (way too many excuses for not going). For those who don't know what netflix is: you go onto the website and they have a bazillion movies and you put them in a queue or holding for shipment, you number or put in order the movies to be shipped and then you get them mailed to you by the usps. We have the basic plan for $20 a month and you get 3 movies at a time and you can keep them as long as you want (no late fees). When you mail one back the next one in your queue ships. They have a ton of kids movies too and they do have some of the Baby Van Gogh type movies. So for us, at least Friday or Saturday (or both) we have cuddle time and watch a movie in bed. We didn't have to go anywhere to get it so no excuses of "I'm too tired to go get a movie" come up. Then you just drop it in the mail (it's postage paid so no stamps) to send it back. It sounds like I work for them but I just think it is the greatest thing in the world since I hate Blockbuster!!!

Pop the popcorn and pop in the dvd and let the cuddle time begin. :-)

[dogmom]

I just jump my DH after the 2 am or the 5:30 am nursing session. I sort of look at it like going to the gym. You always feel too tired, you know you should, you don't want to before hand, but you know after you are done you will feel so much better and wonder why you were so reluctant to do it. It also tends to put my DH is a much better mood for work.

[mharling]

LOL!!!

And, your description is exactly right! I often tell dh that I don't think I'm in the mood, but afterwards I'm glad I didn't say no.

BTW, I'm still LOL! :)

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b3237413c427 - New 6/18

[COElizabeth]

Wow. :)

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[flagger]

I write jokes as a sideline freelance and one I wrote last week is based on a little reality:

"How on earth do they know...I placed a order from my insurance company's mail order pharmacy for a 90 day supply of Viagra...they sent me ONE pill."

[sntm]

that's hilarious! will expect to hear you on leno.

shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03