Biting!!! What worked for you??

[jojo2324]

Please help! I am becoming increasingly wary of my child. Any time he comes remotely close to me he takes a big chomp, whether it be my leg, belly, arm, whatever! I am SICK of it. This is in addition to the regular schedule of kicking, slapping, hair pulling and other such niceties.

Suffice it to say, I am too tired and have too little time to read a book about this right now. I am trying to go the pacifist route and hold his arms and also separate myself from him following an occurrence. I am very consistent, but it's not working.

I am my wit's end. Seriously, he is biting me all the time. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want him near me because I know that it will result in pain and major frustration for me. And he is only biting me. He doesn't bite his father, caretaker, grandmother, nobody but me.

Thanks for any words of wisdon. Off to Gymboree, where hopefully he'll behave himself a bit better...

[Karenn]

Hi Joanne,
Colin went through a biting phase. I'm not sure what I did to end it because at the time, it felt like nothing I did was working, but it has stopped. (And it was just *me* too!)

Whenever he would bite, I would say "Ow!" in a louder voice and move him away from me. I also tried the Burton White arm thing if he bit a second time.

Another thing I noticed was that the biting happened far more frequently when he was tired and I think it might have subsided about the time he started sleeping better. (Not sure what I did to improve the sleep thing either though!)

Sorry, I wish I could be more help because I know how frustrating it is!

Good luck!

[Andrea S]

I can relate to most of your threads I think Andrew reads over my shoulder and copies G-man :). This is one thing he did first. We did the Burton thing where you take them in another room and hold their arms at their side so they cannot move and tell them no biting you only hold them for 30 seconds. Andrew still goes to biting if he gets tired.

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[schums]

My DS is a little older than yours (15 motnhs), but we have a routine that works for us. Whenever he is coming near us with an open mouth (or mischevious grin or other "warning sign") we promptly say "Only kisses, no bites!" in a calm, sort of cheerful way. The first few times he was confused, so I started picking him up (or bending over) and giving him a kiss so he knew what to do. This really seems to work, and it usually ends up in multiple wet sloppy kisses on the body part that was most in danger of being attacked. He'll still bite sometimes if we don't say it, but that is getting less frequent. Of course, he still tries to gnaw on our fingers, but I think that is more teething -- he'll take a teether if offered instead.

Sarah

[lukkykatt]

I am getting bit too! In my case, I think it is a teething thing. I have been removing him from me, shaking my finger "no", and saying "no biting!" in a firm voice. I do the same thing every time.

To be honest with you though, not sure what impact it is having. Sometimes he just comes right back for more. I figured if I was consistent, it would eventually stop at some point.

Good luck! I know it is no fun.

[jojo2324]

Thanks everyone. I think he is cutting a tooth right now, but this has been going on for weeks. I just lost it and put him in his crib to give us both a little space. I am SO frustrated by this. More than anything, it's painful. And no matter how consistent I've been or forceful with my tone, it's not working. We're talking a solid month of this. And I can pretty much guarantee that he will bite me if he is anywhere near me. The best is when he climbs on the couch and uses his teeth to grab hold of my leg and hoist himself up. What's that about?!?! Because of the frequency, I am sure it has nothing to do with tiredness. It is ALL THE TIME.

I am trying to maintain a calm exterior, but I couldn't do it anymore and charged up the stairs with him and plopped him in his crib. I *really* don't know what to do. I am working two jobs and dead beat between that and the pregnancy. I don't have time to read a book, let alone find a book that resonates with me. What did I do wrong? He is such a terror. Those of you going to the retreat will see what I am talking about. It is never-ending, the slapping, kicking, hair-pulling. I feel like a punching bag, and now I am feeling guilty for putting him in his crib at all. I just didn't want to really lose it. I have such a short fuse with him right now.

Sorry, this turned into a whole 'nother issue...:(

[partyof5]

Joanne,

*Hugs* to you. I know how frustrating it can be and it's good that you put him in his crib so that both of you can have a "time out."

My younger DD, Sophia, started out by only biting me. Exclusively. Never DH, Lola (that's what we call grandma in our language), Lolo (again grandpa in our language), or her older sister. Right before the baby was born Sophia bit her older sister on the leg after Isabella took a toy from her. She bit her so hard that there was a bruise on Isabella's thigh. I felt AWFUL.

I called my cousin in Texas who is a pediatrician, as well as having three children of her own and she gave me some advice that worked for me. She told me NOT to react loudly or scream when Sophia bites. By reacting louding or screaming Sophia sees that we are excited and she gets attention. It was positive reinforcement for her. That's why she continued to bite. She suggested that when Sophia bites, I should remove her from the situation, calmly tell her that biting is not good and leave her by herself for a time out. Granted I had to do this several times before it worked, she has stopped biting. I also found that if lay her down on the floor while I "removed" her from the situation, she got the picture much quicker. Maybe because it wasn't so easy for her to run back to her sister.

I hope this helps a little bit. You may want to consult your pediatrician also to see if they have any "tips" for you. Then you could share them with us :-) Good luck!



~Cindy
mommy to...
Isabella (1999)
Sophia (2001)
Ethan (2003)

[jojo2324]

Okay, so what do you do when you hold his hands because he bit, and then he BITES your hand?!?!?!?!

Serenity now, serenity now...

[SeekerMage]

well if nothing else works...as cruel as it sounds you have to bite him back. It was the only thing that worked for one of the women I used to work for, and it only took one time. Bite just hard enough to cause a reaction from him, not enough to really hurt. Then explain that biting hurts, no we dont do that etc. I also read in a book to try and give them something else to bite, but I dont agree with that because its just condoning the biting in the first place. Hope he stops soon...I know how tough it can be!

[josephsmom]

Joanne, I can definitely see how upset you are by this. I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Our local children's hospital offers lots of classes on positive discipline, managing aggressive behavior, and all kinds of things like that. Maybe there's something similar in your area; please ask your pediatrician. And please don't feel guilty for putting him in the crib so you could both cool off. I really think that was a good decision. When Joseph is angry, he sometimes slaps or head-butts. One time he slammed the back of his head into my nose. It hurt so bad I reflexively started to cry. I had to hand him to DH and walk away for awhile. I've also put him in his crib once or twice when he was just inconsolable and nothing I did was helping and I didn't know what else to do. This parenting stuff is not always easy. Hang in there.

Helene
mommy to Joseph 12/29/01

[nigele]

Joanne,

Isn't having a one-year old fun??? We are going through the biting phase, too.

BTW - I LOVE Gano's new pic!!!

[luvbeinmama]

The first time DS bit me, he bit while nursing. I screamed, took him off, set him down in the middle of the room, crying, and cradled my sore breast. He has tried biting a couple times since then, but we are very strong with him about the no-biting rule.

Since holding his hands away from you just gets you a bite on the hand, I would try a stern face, say "no!" and put him down where he is by himself for a bit. And let him cry some, ignore him for a while. Basically, put him in a time out away from you whenever he bites. He will eventually get the idea that if he bites, he doesn't get to be with you anymore.

I'm wondering... does his biting in any way coincide with your taking on work and having less time with him?