UPDATE - We Didn't Go :( OT- Quandry over possible weekend getaway

[Marisa6826]

UPDATE: Jonathan's firm decided not to send him. They're doing conference calls instead. On a side note, my Mother is up from Florida. It should be a VERY interesting weekend for all of us!

Thanks for all the input. We're thinking that this weekend might be a "dry run" for another trip in October for my birthday.

We'll be going to that dinner party Saturday night instead so the little black dress will be put to use! :)

-m



Jonathan will likely be going to LA this weekend for business. His boss said I could come with - we would be only responsible for my ticket. I found a really decent deal on Cheap Tickets.

My mother has offered to come up from Florida to take care of Sophie providing that I buy her ticket and cover her expenses for lost time at her job (long story).

I'm kind of afraid of leaving Sophie with my mother unsupervised for three days. I know that **I** have my rough moments when Sophie is being a devil baby. I don't know how my mother will react in the same situation. She might think it's fine since it's a relative novelty for her. Sophie is her first grandchild and she has only seen her on one occasion back when Sophie was about three months old.

It's going to cost us roughly twice the amount of my ticket plus a car rental if I go to LA. Jonathan WILL be working so I will be on my own for most of the time. Although - the hotel he is being put up at is five stars and on the beach - not to mention it's also a spa hotel! ;) I've also never been to LA.

We have already accepted an invitation to go to a formal anniversary party on Saturday night and I just bought the quintessential little black dress for the occasion. The couple are very good friends and they would understand if I bailed.

Here's my quandry.

Do I spend the money, go to LA and leave my mother and Sophie together or do I stay home? We're planning on trying for another babe in about six months so I don't know the next time we will have the opportunity to get away for a couple days.

I'm thinking that if I DO stay home, I just might buy my mother a ticket anyway so that I'm not stuck at home with a teething 7-1/2 month old. I can always take her instead of Jonathan to the anniversary party!

Input please!

Thanks

-m

[flagger]

Well, your mom has certainly dealt with a teething baby before unless you were born with chompers. ;)

You asked for input I say go. Use that little black dress and (perish the thought) have a date with your hubby on Saturday night. Hell the spa would be worth the price of admission.

You might find a last minute deal on priceline or hotwire.com for your mother.

[August Mom]

For me, the ultimate deciding factor would be my comfort level with my mother watching the baby for 3 days. Getting away with DH sounds great, especially with a spa. But, personally, I probably wouldn't go away for a weekend and leave my baby with someone he had only met once. It would be best if you do decide to go to have your mom come at least 1 day early so that Sophie could get used to her and you could help your mom get used to the way you do things with Sophie. Ultimately, if you are worried about your mom's ability to deal with Sophie and Sophie's ability to feel comfortable with your mom, you won't have a good time in LA. If you really do feel confindent in your mom's abilities and you think that Sophie will react okay with a relative stranger, then have a good time.

[C99]

If it were me, I wouldn't go. As tempting as it sounds to get a weekend away with your husband (without the baby), it sounds like it's going to be really expensive due to the short notice. You also sound like you're unsure about leaving Sophie for 3 days (have you ever left her for even 1 day before?). I recently left Nate (who was in bed, asleep!) for 2 hours to go out with some friends and that was pretty hard.

hth

[sbaker]

I had a similar situation when DS was about 8 months old. I went with my husband on his trip and took DS with me. We had a fabulous time. Sometimes it's good to get away even if you have to take a teething baby with you.

Just my two cents...
:) :+ :)
Sara
Mom to Rayce 02/09/02
Baby #2 due 01/05/04

[SeekerMage]

I would say go. your mom is a grandma, and has obviously raised kids so Im sure she can handle your "devil baby" if the situation arises. Also note that kids tend to act different when mom is not around. My daughter even on her worst day is an angel in my moms eyes and she puts up with a lot...because she is a grandma! Grandmas have a way with kids and Im sure they will both survive. If anything have her come a day or two ahead of time so Sophie has a better comfort level with her.
As for the trip, look around for a cheap ticket for your mom, dont worry about renting a car as Im sure the hotel will have a bus or other transit to the places you will want to be going, and if not look into things within walking distance etc. If the hotel is a five star hotel it will have lots of anmeities and Im sure transit is one of them. If anything look up the hotel online and find out what is offered, you might be able to plan ahead of time and see that you wont need to rent a car. If you do, then look around, call all the rental places and play lets make a deal! You might also look into finding a vacation book at the library on LA that will give you deals on where to go to save money etc.
Though if you are still not sure about leaving the baby, just think of what great shape you will be in when you come home. Every mom needs a break every once and a while. Sometimes getting away, even if only for a few hours makes you a new woman. I say if you can swing it go. You will be in better shape to handle those devilish baby teeth when you get back and will cherish all those little moments even more!

[Rachels]

Personally, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't want to be separated from Abigail for that long. But the issue isn't whether I would be comfortable with it, it's whether YOU would be comfortable with it. I don't think we can really answer that question for you. How do you feel when you think about 3 days without her? If you feel relief and excitement, you should go. If you feel worried or sad, you and she probably aren't ready yet for that kind of separation.

If you do go, think about bringing your mom up a day early so that she and Sophie can have some time to adjust to one another before you leave.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Marisa6826]

If I do go, I was planning on having my mother fly up Thursday so I can go through our "routine" together.

We went through the financials and when all is said in done (before shopping and the spa ;) ) it would cost us about $500 over and above what Jonathan will be getting paid for the weekend. We also just got a few tax refunds, so money isn't so much the issue (but who shouldn't be saving money?! ) .

I'm sure I would desperately miss Sophie, but I think it's important for her to know her grandparents. She "talks" to my mother on the phone all the time so she knows her voice (smiles and tries to grab the phone).

His office still hasn't given him the final plans, so consequently, I can't make any either. We agreed that if we know what the story is by this afternoon, then I might just go.

This is just an incredibly hard decision for me.

-m

[flagger]

Before I had Cocoa, I was all gung-ho about including her in everything we do. Now I am a firm believer in the power of a recharging for mom (and) dad being infectious around the house.

A happy, well rested mommy, makes for one happy baby as I believe your stress compounds with her stress. I think the hardest thing for any parent to do is to give themselves permission to take some "me" time.

If you go, you will call every day (probably twice or more), but think of yourself far far in the future. If Sophie had this opportunity, would you relish the chance to spend time with your grandchild?

[JustMare]

Is taking Sophie with you out of the question? It might be more relaxing having her with you and less expensive since you won't have to get your mother involved.

Otherwise, I'd stay home. Grandmother and all, but she only met Sophie once. I'd be a nervous wreak the whole time and especially now since Sophie's teething.

What if you stayed home and invited your mom for a visit so the three of you can bond. Perhaps you can go to a day spa on Saturday and leave Sophie with your Mom for a few hours.

Hope everything works out.

[Marisa6826]

Mare-

Unfortunately Sophie's now at the age where she kind of requires entertainment all the time. Calculate all the crap you need to take with and the time difference... ARGH!!!

It would be an absolute pain in the ass to take her with. Not to mention that it would also be the last thing from a relaxing weekend for me.

You will soon understand, my friend! :)

-m

[memedee]

I say go.
I am a grandmother and I would love to have the baby for three days and no one is going to care for her as well as a family member.
Go and have a good time.
It will be good for the baby and good for you.

[cinrein]

What did you decide?

Cindy
Mama to Anna 2/11/03

[Marisa6826]

Cindy-

I still haven't made a final decision as Jonathan's company is dragging their feet on making THEIR arrangements.

I don't want to buy a ticket and then be stuck with it if they decide last minute not to send Jonathan, although it's likely he will be sent.

My mother IS coming up this afternoon until Monday. I figure if I can go, great. If not, it will be a dry run for another time, and relief for me while Jonathan's away.

I'm hoping to be able to go, but if the company waits much longer I don't know that I will find another good ticket deal (the one I had expired).

Will keep everybody updated!

-m

[kransden]

I would go if you can trust your mom. My mil thinks she can take care of babies, but physically can't. Dropped my dd on her head at 20 days old (Yes, I am still angry and I know I should get over it, but I can't). If you know in your heart of hearts that mom isn't going to physically endanger your child - GO. Your mom will be able to deal with "devil baby".
A few suggestions, make a video tape of yourself and your husband talking to dd. Make a couple of audio tapes too. Lastly have some blankets that smell like you for dd to cuddle with. It works with some babies.

One last thing, have dh rent a convertible in LA and drive down the PCH with the top down. You'll have a great time!
Karin



Karin
Katie 10/24/02

[emilyf]

One more vote for go- we left ds in May for a weekend w/my mil and I was dreading it, but it turned out great. I missed him a ton of course but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. It was nice to be alone w/dh and to get a bit of a break. And he had a great time with his nana and his cousins. It was good for everyone! If you do decide to stay I'm sure you'll have fun with your mom too-
Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02