Just had a fight with DH about DD’s sleep issue – NEED SUPPORT (sorry, long...)

[marit]

My DD is driving me crazy every morning. For her morning nap she falls asleep on the breast and when I try to move her to her crib she sometimes wakes up crying. She takes her afternoon nap in daycare (where she falls asleep with no problem) and she sleeps through the night (in the evening she would either fall asleep on the breast or I will put her awake but groggy in bed and she will fall asleep on her own). But the morning nap is so hard! I know she needs it because she cries when she’s tired and she cries when I try to put her down because it wakes her up.

It wasn’t always like that, it used to be much easier but it only becomes more difficult with time. We DID sleep train her when she was 4 month old (Weissbluth) and it worked great for the evening but it never worked for her naps. Then we flew to Israel and the jet lag ruined everything and we didn’t sleep train her again since. I just don’t have the guts to do it again, now that she’s standing in her crib and is much more aware.

I bought the new edition of Weissbluth hoping there’s the magic answer there just for me, but my DH thinks this book got me all obsessed with her sleep the first time (he’s right…)

He says the problem is not with her not taking the morning nap it’s with me reacting very strongly every time I have a failed attempt to put her down. I feel like I don’t know what to do to help her, I know she needs that sleep and I’m tired of the struggle every day. I should probably just take thing more lightly, but HOW???

Marit

[kristine_elen]

Have you tried putting her in the swing to sleep? My son went through a few months where he'd only nap in the swing, although at night he'd be fine in his crib. Then one day I tried the crib for naps again and he went down like a charm. There was a recent thread on here about Weissbluth and as you'll see if you read it, many people are not fans. Not that I'm trying to start WWIII...
By the way, my son is going through some weird phase, at least I HOPE it's a phase, where he no longer just goes down easily for his naps. I have to rock him to sleep, but he doesn't want to be rocked, so I put him in a vice grip to keep him from pushing away. It takes about 20 minutes. I hold him, rock him, sing to him, then put him down when he's asleep or almost totally asleep (vs. our usual routine of a bottle, a burp then down and he put himself to sleep in a few minutes.)
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=37&topic_id=32064&mesg_id=32064&listing_type=search
Good luck.

[lizajane]

perhaps try starting the nap earlier? or waking her up earlier in the am? worked for us.

and ds does NOT like to be put in his crib already alseep. he wakes up a little a few minutes later and screams, i think because he doesn't know how he got there. maybe try putting her down in the am groggy?

[Tondi G]

How long are you waiting to put her down... maybe you are trying too soon??? Have you tried the heating pad in the crib trick???? Put the heating pad in to warm the sheets and then remove it just before you put DD down..... maybe it's the transfer from warm arms to cold sheets? Is her room darkened... maybe some blinds would help? Just thinking of anything that comes to mind!!!

The swing is an option! You could also try lying down with DD and letting her fall asleep and just leaving her in your bed for her morning nap?! I did that sometimes and Just surrounded DS with pillows... or you can get a bed rail!

I struggled with DS too about naps and nursing to sleep.... he'd go down for other people just fine but with me he wanted to nurse and he often woke up when I tried to put him down..... it is tough! Try to be calm and not get stressed about it cause your little one will feel it!!!! Good Luck

~Tondi and Mason 7/8/01

[marit]

Thank you all so much for answering!!!

The swing worked when she was smaller, but not anymore. It is a good idea to try earlier, though I'm always afraid that if I go too early she won't be tired! I am usually waiting about 15-20 minutes before putting her down, because she keeps eating long after she falls asleep LOL. She sometime wake just when I get up of the chair, before even attempting the crib so I'm not sure a warm blanket could help but I'll try that too! I will also try my bed again- maybe this time she will like it (she didn't in the past but who knows...)

Thank you again for your suggestions. I think the main issue for me is to decide whether "to Weissbluth or no to Weissbluth". It's the doubt that's killing me!

[barbarhow]

I feel like we have the same child....I struggle with Jack to get him to nap. He does beautifully the 3 days he is at daycare. They put him down at 9am and 12:30pm-he goes right to sleep. But oh no-not for me. It is a complete struggle. He sleeps beautifully at night, though so I always feel like I have no right to complain.
He has definately gotten better the last 10 days or so. He will go down for a morning nap, tends to fight the afternoon nap and won't even think about a late afternoon nap. I think as they get older the naps get easier.
Weissbluth is a hot topic on the boards right now as I'm sure you have noticed. I happen to like his methods, short of CIO. I think your notion of Weissbluthing or not might be too black and white. I have used alot of his concepts and applied them in a way that is more comfortable for us. For instance I could not bear the CIO-I will let ds fuss it out-but the crying is too hard for me. I nurse him to a point where he is just about asleep and then put him down. 98% of the time he now (finally) goes to sleep. Try and alter some of his methods or combine them with other methods until you find something that works for you. Follow your instincts and remember that just because one thing works for some it is not necessarily the method for all.
I had a similar disagreement with my DH about naps. He felt I was being too rigid after reading Weissbluth. Didn't understand why I was getting freaked out about the nap thing. A few things helped-He got to spend a day with the baby-all day-no dropping him off at his mom's for part of it and saw first hand why ds needs naps-both for ds and for my sanity. The other thing which kind of resolved it was when I said I was perfectly open to any ideas he had but they had to be real plans, not a fly by the seat of your pants kind of deal. I told him I would order some of the recommended reading for him. Well that shut him up but good!!! LOL.
Good luck!

Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[August Mom]

I agree. My son wouldn't nap except in my arms for the longest time. I consistently put him in the swing at the same time each day for awhile. He would nap there and eventually, I was able to transition him to the crib for his naps. It was not a quick process, but he was eventually able to take 2 naps in the crib.