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View Full Version : How often does your baby look you in the eyes?



alkagift
10-17-2003, 10:37 AM
This is a weird question...I don't want to seem paranoid. Matthew is 5 months old and looks and smiles at us, squeals and gurgles pretty often. However, several times a day, mostly with me, he does not want to meet my gaze--he sort of avoids direct eye contact, if you get what I'm saying. Like when we're driving along and I'm talking to him, he's not smiling or saying anything, he's staring out the window. When I go to take him out of his car seat, he's looking at the straps or at the ceiling--not in a super interested way, just idly looking at them. I've got my most "fun voice" going, but he doesn't want to interact. He does not do this much with my husband, mostly me, but I'm trying to discover if I'm making more out of it than there is and he's really just tired or something. What do you guys think?

Allison
Mommy to Matthew, 5/19/03

peanut4us
10-17-2003, 10:45 AM
Allison,

I don't know. But I don't think I'd worry about it yet. Sara just really started responding to us and the world at the same time about 2 or 3 weeks ago. I mean... there was the all about mommy and daddy phase, then there was the all about everything else phase. And it's like she just learned how to see us in context with the rest of the world.

cindyl
10-17-2003, 10:48 AM
my daughter is exactly the same way, and has been for quite a while. sometimes she is very interactive, but a lot of the time she is with me, she does her own thing (chews on or closely inspects a toy, practices standing up and sitting down, or just hangs out, for instance). i try to get attention, but sometimes she doesn't want to engage. on the other hand, sometimes she is very interested in "chatting" with me and getting my attention. i just chalked this up to her personality. she does this with my husband, though substantially less. i think it's normal. they have such sensory overload -- every day, probably every hour, they are learning something new -- sometimes, they just need a break. i wouldn't worry about it unless he spends most of his time just zoning out.

cindy, mom to chloe (1/03)

amp
10-17-2003, 10:50 AM
I'm certainly no expert, but my experience with DS is that he very regularly makes eye contact and smiles and "talks" and coos, but he also checks out everything else. And there are plenty of times when he looks away. I just assume he's turning away from contact because of the same reason newer infants do, in that they do that when they are overstimulated or have had enough interaction for the moment. Or that he's distracted or tired or upset. I guess I wouldn't be too concerned, but maybe discuss it with your ped. if you are concerned.

alkagift
10-17-2003, 10:52 AM
Joey,
So you know what I'm saying! Exactly! He seems to have gone from the "life is mommy" to "life is whatever mommy isn't." I mean, it's definitely not all the time, but mostly when I'm taking him to daycare and when I'm there during lunch to see and feed him. It is comforting to know eventually he may put it together!


Allison
Mom to Matthew Clayton, 5/19/03

COElizabeth
10-17-2003, 11:04 AM
James does this, too, and has for a long time. Sometimes he will actually smile as he continues to look away, as though he is amused by worrying me! But then other times he will laugh and look at me for a long time. I think babies just need some down time, but I understand your worry. If you spend more time with him than DH does, then you're probably getting the "silent treatment" because you're the most familiar one to him.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

flagger
10-17-2003, 11:48 AM
Babies need to disengage from you and avoiding eye contact is one of their cues. They are several cues that they want to be interacted with and many cues showing they do not want to be.

I wouldn't worry about it in the least.

jmofarrill
10-17-2003, 12:13 PM
Anwyn does this too, usually when I pick her up from daycare. I think it's either "I'm tired, leave me alone" or "what's going on over there?" curiousity. The dc workers think I'm nuts b/c when I pick her up I say "Don't look at Mommy!" It's more marked when she's tired or on the verge of over-stimulation, so I try to get her to a quiet and peaceful location quickly. After she rests, she's into mommy again; she's always into mommy after sleeping!