Birth Experiences...natural, epidural, nubain, etc.

[1ontheway]

I truly hope to have a natural birth baring any medical complications. But-most moms I know think I'm nuts and are very vocal about it. I get the line about "you wouldn't have major surgery without pain medication so why would you go through labor without any?"

So I guess I'm just wondering how things went for some of you moms out there. I've researched the medical stuff, so I'm just wondering what others experienced. Did you have a successful natural birth or opt for the medication? I know that DH is concerned that he might not be able to handle seeing me in a lot of pain. Am I really being naive?

TIA!

Christina
EDD 1/12/04

[mamahill]

No, you're not. There are plenty of women who go through labor without any medication. Although I was aiming for as little intervention as possible, you never know WHAT that labor room will bring, and as such, I had just about every intervention, except for a c-section. It was a good learning experience for me, though. In the future, I will NEVER have Stadol or Morphine again. These were given to "take the edge off" contractions that were coming every 2-3 minutes, lasting 45 seconds for 5 hours. It only succeeded in making me hallucinate and extremely loopy. If I have any indication of back labor again, I'm going straight for the epidural. That was the only thing that allowed me to sleep and regain my strength for the almost 2 hours of pushing that I went through. Had I not had that strength, I most certainly would have ended up in the OR (Ainsleigh's heart rate dropped to around 30 for a while, and we had to work fast).

My doctor was in favor of as little intervention as possible, as long as the baby was fine. Go in with the attitude you have, but don't feel like a failure or any less of a mother if you need interventions. I started sobbing before I admitted I thought taking the epidural made me a wuss. But, I was at a 9 and starting to close. I won't wait that long next time :).

Good luck!

[redhookmom]

Well, for my first I "planned" to go natural. After 30 hours I got the walking epidural (I can't remember the real name). I was able to take a nap and get it together for the birth which felt pretty "natural."

For my second I "planned" to get the meds and wound up going natural. My first labor lasted for 54 hours and my second for 18 and the active labor for only 8. So, things felt like they were moving along quickly. I also figured out that the pain med had not worn off the first time.

In the end I figured out you just can't plan it. I am really happy with the way both labors happended.

Jessica

[millerpjm]

I also wanted to have a natural childbirth experience. I didn't want an IV, didn't want to be hooked up to a monitor and be in bed the whole time, wanted to walk around, etc. I ended up having to be induced because my amniotic sac was leaking fluid (my waters didn't break, just a hole in the sac). They hooked me up to the monitor and the IV right away and started the meds. It was a tough day, and I ended up deciding to have an epidural. My OB was sure she would have to do a c-section because I was not progressing, so at first I was hesitant to have the epidural, since I heard that sometimes slows down the process. But, since the OB thought I would have to have a c-section, I got the epidural-otherwise my husband could not have been in the OR with me. I must have been one of the few who has the opposite happen, because after another hour she checked me and I was at 10, ready to push. I was slightly disappointed, but I was still glad to have a vaginal birth instead of the c-section. I would definitely keep your mind open. I really wanted to go natural, but it didn't happen for me. Keep you mind and options open. You know your body best. I do not think you are crazy... I wish I could have done it. But the end result is what counts. My end result is starting to take steps at almost 9 months old!

Jen
Proud mama to Thomas 2/3/03

[Momof3Labs]

You have to do what feels right for YOU! Remember that in the end, the only thing matters is that you and baby are healthy and doing well.

And welcome to the world of parenthood - where everyone has unsolicited advice to give you, and most of it should go in one ear and out the other. Learn to smile and nod and say "gosh, I NEVER thought of that!" and walk away. ;-)

[KathyO]

My labour was REEEEAALLLY SLLLOOOOWWW (clocked in, finally, at 44 hours), so I had it sped up with Pitocin. I don't regret that, because if it had gone much longer I would have been too exhausted to push, but the Pitocin contractions were very rough, and I ended up opting for a dose of Nubain. That helped a lot for that last three or four hours, and was completely out of my system when it came time to push.

Nobody knows what kind of birthing experience you will have. Keep your options open, but no, you are not crazy to want to go drug-free or minimal-drug if you can. Anyone who tells you otherwise is presuming to know your future; ask them to give you some winning lottery numbers while they're at it.

As for your DH - mine is not fond of pain or blood (I do the first aid in this family), but he was more awed than distressed by what I went through. Be sure to tell your DH ahead of time that no matter how ineffectual he feels at the actual time, he is making an enormous difference just by being there. I couldn't have done it without mine, but was too caught up in the labour to express it at the time.

Best wishes!

KathyO

[heva]

Hi Christina. I'm a physician and during medical school, I was absolutely horrified at the way women who wanted to have natural births were treated by their attending physicians, the nurses and the residents. I saw birth after birth converted to c-section because women were not allowed the privacy, support and freedom to labor the way that they wanted to (without drugs, without suggestions like "would you like your epidural now?", without 15 different people examining them). It was depressing, sad and a big reason that I chose not to be an OB-GYN.

Having said that, there are wonderful physicians out there that do believe in childbirth with minimal/no intervention, but they are the EXCEPTION, not the rule. The rate of elective c-sections continues to rise, in part, I believe, because women are starting to believe the hype that labor is a disease to be treated, just as we are taught as medical students.

And I completely understand your comment about the very vocal, well-meaning moms who think you're nuts. I got the same reaction in spades from my medical colleagues (particularly the anesthesiologists I know). I was very careful about telling people how I was planning my labor, because I did not want to get a lot of negative feedback. After all, if you believe it's going to be a terrible, painful experience, it certainly can be!

So, DH and I made 4 important choices about our childbirth experience:

1) Delivered at a community hospital with strong commitment to natural childbirthing. On our tour prior to delivery, the nurse who led us through the labor/delivery/recovery rooms around made it clear that fetal monitoring was not routine. On the backs of the bathrooms doors were posters with upright, sidelying and kneeling laboring positions. Every room had a bathroom with a whirlpool. And best of all, it was NOT the University hospital where I worked.

2) We chose a midwife. Not only did she literally spend hours getting to know DH and me in the months prior to our delivery, she encouraged us to work out all of our issues (and there were plenty, given my experience during medical school) prior to ever setting foot in the hospital. She suggested that we take an alternative childbirthing class (see number 3), and was tremendously supportive and willing to listen to our concerns all the way through my pregnancy. Perhaps the most incredible part of building our relationship was that we never had to make a birthplan because she knew us so well by the time labor came around, that we trusted each other COMPLETELY. From the moment I arrived at the hospital room to about an hour after the birth, she never left me (about 5 hours). She was calm and loving every minute. I spent about 3.5 hours in the whirlpool with DH and our midwife sitting quietly in the bathroom next to me. She checked me only once (I was 7 cm when we arrived), and when I asked her about 3 hours later, "when will I know it's time to get out of the tub?" she suggested that I check myself - and I felt DS's little head covered with hair for the first time! Just the most incredible moment of my life, short of the actual delivery. What a gift! When I moved to the bed and delivered him on my hands and knees about 25 minutes later, the tone of the room never changed - everyone (DH, midwife, me and our nurse) was still calm, quiet. No cheering, no rushing around, and DS immediately went to my chest and stayed there for 2 hours. Bliss.

3) We took a Hypnobirthing class (check out http://www.hypnobirthing.com). Essentially, it is a course that teaches you to use deep relaxation techniques to make labor easier. While I wouldn't say that my labor was absolutely pain free, it was totally manageable, and in retrospect, I could not imagine taking drugs and missing out on the total experience. The only times that I experienced true pain were the few minutes when I was afraid and unsure of what was next, and lost my level of relaxation. This was our midwife's first hypnobirth and she was amazed at how peaceful it was. The testimonials sound way too good to be true - but it worked!

4) I practice yoga and took 2 classes per week as soon as I was feeling up to it (beginning of 2nd trimester). I can't advocate this enough, as I think it was the reason I was able to deliver DS without being exhausted. Despite sleeping only about 4 hours the night before, as I was able to completely relax and rest between contractions, even though I kneeled for about 2 hours straight. Also, I think it was the reason that I felt healthy and energetic the day up to delivery. The day before, I scrubbed my deck! And as a bonus, because of the flexibility from yoga, I was able to paint my own toenails all the way through pregnancy :)

Wow - this is long, sorry. I hadn't posted anything about our delivery til now, so you got the whole she-bang. I know there are many people out there who've had great deliveries that made very different choices, but this really worked for us. I'd do it again tomorrow.

[mamahill]

WOW - your number 2 had me all teary. It took me almost 9 months (post partum) before I could think of my labor and NOT get all tense. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story!

[DDowning]

All throughout my pregnancy, I kept an open-mind as to the actual birth experience I might endure, thinking I'd opt for as natural as I could. I was 5 days overdue when my waterbroke and I never progressed by 8cm, DS had the cord wrapped around his neck and he wouldn't move down the birth canal because his head was quite large After giving it a good 8 hour try, the Dr. recommended C-section and that's what I had done. As about as unnatural birth as you can imagine but because I had an open mind, in the end all that mattered was that I had a healthy son. It didn't matter what hole he came out of.

Good luck to you in the coming weeks ahead!

[votre_ami03]

Heather, Your experience had me crying too! Congrat's.

Christina, I think keeping an open mind is the best advice. I wasn't opposed to an epidural, I just wanted to do what was best for me & what felt right. I was induced & progressed rather fast. My contrax didn't really bother me until the Dr broke my water, even then I felt they were pretty managable though. I had an epidural after 12 hours of good labor & then b/c the Nurse mentioned the word "SLEEP", I had only 4 hours the night b/f & was getting very desperate. ;) My son was born approx 4 hours & a short nap later.

The biggest thing is, don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work the way you planned.

Christy & baby Nolan 7/22/03

[lisams]

I realy wanted my labor to be as medicated-free as possible, but things changed at my 38 week appointment. My blood pressure was too high and I was sent to the hospital to be induced. The induction made my conractions very strong and back to back so I opted for an epidural. I was a little disapointed that I had to be induced, but in the end it didn't matter. We were both happy and healthy and that's all that mattered to us :)

Lisa

[stillplayswithbarbies]

It is absolutely possible to have a natural birth. Trust your body, it knows what to do.

I had nothing with Logan. Not one intervention. It was pure bliss, the whole experience. I labored at home all day, and by the time we got to the hospital, there wasn't time for them to do anything that I didn't want done . . . she was born 20 minutes after we got there.

With Jake, I had pitocin to speed things up, and a pudendal block, and an episiotomy. Labor was hard work, with a lot of pushing. The epidural was sheer hell to recover from. Very different kind of birth, due to just those few small interventions.

If you want to have a natural birth, here are my suggestions:

1. have a midwife (I didn't, but there is a midwife on staff at the ob/gyn practice)

2. deliver at a birthing center rather than a hospital. (I didn't because they only let you stay 12 hours after the baby is born, and I thought I wouldn't want to go home that early, based on my experiences with my first baby.)
3. take a Bradley class instead of Lamaze, or at least read Dr. Bradley's book. The Bradley method is all about natural childbirth.

4. Read the book "Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation" by Pam England, Rob Horowitz . There are things in the book to help your husband understand and be a part of the process too.

5. Read the book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. This book will give you the strength and the confidence that you are seeking right now in your post.

The birth of my daughter was the most awesome and empowering experience of my life. I highly recommend a natural birth.

By the way, not all women have pain during contractions and birth. My contractions never felt worse than menstrual cramps, or gas pains. And there was no pain as she came out. I didn't really have to push with her, because my body had taken it's own natural time to get to that point. She just slid out.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[jennifer13]

I planned for an unmedicated, low-interventionl birth and ended up with every possible intervention, including a c-section. It was terribly disappointing. So one lesson is to understand your birth plan is just a guide for what your priorities are, and that the goal is healthy mom and baby. The biggest surprise was that I actually progressed much more quickly after receiving the epidural. I was induced (I was at 42 weeks) and was stuck at 3 cm for many hours (with incredibly painful contractions, so much so that my doula thought I was in transition! Ha!); after the epidural I quickly progressed to 7 cm. Things were rocky from there but not because of the epidural. My doula said she does sometimes see women progress better after the epidural because their body is more relaxed. So just keep that in mind.

BUT, I know many women who have had excellent birthing experiences without pain meds, so you CAN do it! Keys to success seem to be a supportive provider and often a doula.

Best of luck to you!

Jennifer
Mom of Norah, 5/23/03

[lizamann]

It certainly is possible!! I was planning on going with minimal interventions through midwives, ended up with pitocin but still no pain meds or other interventions. At 12 days overdue, they told me that my water was decreasing and that my placenta was degrading, so I had to be induced. But I did it with zero pain meds. People will tell you that's crazy, but it wasn't. In retrospect I'm actually kind of happy that I had the pit because my labor was 8 hours from needle-stick to baby. I'm not sure it would have gone that quickly without help.

I actually really enjoyed the labor process and am glad that I got to experience it full force. It was more intense than actually painful, but as someone has said before, it's "pain with a purpose." It's supposed to be that way! It's not like other pain, like a knife cutting into your finger, which is telling you that something is seriously wrong.

Others have good suggestions (though you weren't looking for any) but I just want to emphasize that who you choose to be on your team is a very large factor. If you choose a dr., then you're likely to get a medicalized birth. If you choose a midwife that understands your wants, it's more likely to happen naturally.

Best of luck! I feel very lucky and blessed to have had the l and d that I did.

OH, fwiw, I thought that breastfeeding dd with thrush was WAY worse than labor. People don't believe me, but it's true. May you NEVER get thrush!

[Rachels]

You can do it!!!! I had a natural birth in a birthing center, even with 37 hours of truly arduous back labor. I labored in the jacuzzi, falling asleep in the arms of my support team between contractions. I gave birth on a birthing stool and helped my midwife catch my daughter. The astonishment still hasn't worn off, and the experience of her birth and what I accomplished in having her without intervention has sustained me in some of my tough mothering moments. I'm so grateful.

One thing I will say, though, is that you really can't have a natural birth without also having good support from people who believe you can do it. EVERY woman in labor hits a point where she says she can't do it anymore, and that's when you need your support team to step up. The feeling that you can't do it is a passing phase, but you honestly believe it in the moment. Three contractions later, it's entirely possible that you won't be saying that anymore, but you need LOTS of help in the interim. If someone is standing over you offering drugs, you're likely to say yes unless someone more persuasive is supporting you in birthing naturally. I can't recommend enough the idea of having a doula. My husband was skeptical but I insisted, and now neither of us would even consider birthing without one again. I am quite sure I couldn't have done it without her. No one else is prepared to love you in labor the way your husband can, so he's essential, but a woman trained in childbirth simply is more helpful in those difficult moments. Choosing midwives and having a doula almost certainly spared me a surgical birth. I had no tears, no episiotomy, no trauma. I wouldn't do it any other way for a normal pregnancy.

If I can be of support to you or answer any questions, I'd love to. Feel free to email or PM me!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[barbarhow]

I had similar experiences with well meaning friends and was told by many of them that I was insane for wanting a med free labor. Many of the comments bordered on being hostile-it was pretty amazing to me what a charged topic this was for people. I know my body well enough to know that I am so sensitive to meds and felt that I would end up feeling worse from anything that they decided would help me feel better.
My decision to go natural was in part spurred by Christiane Northrup's book-Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom. Her chapter on labor and delivery inspired me to look further into hypnobirthing and other alternative labors. As someone who has been in the health care field for 20 years-I got some looks from colleagues when I told them about hypnobirthing. I had a wonderful midwife who was totally invested in our decision to do hypno. We did however, talk ahead of time about the possibility that it might not go as planned. I had the interview with anesthesia in case I wanted the epidural. DH and I talked aobut it and on the advice of a friend, we decided that DH would have a huge part in the decision if I decided I wanted meds. I told him that I trusted him to help me make the decision and felt that he would probably be more clear in the heat of the moment than I would be. I did end up asking for an epidural-I got scared. He helped me through the fear-was so incredibly supportive-Without him it would have been so much more difficult. It wasn't easy but-when DS was born-22 hours after labor started, I immediately felt great. It was so amazing. And DS was so alert from the time he was born. Bright eyed and taking everything in. It was incredibly beautiful.
Listen to your body, trust yourself and believe that you know what is right for you. Good Luck.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[lizajane]

first, i like the way you said "hope to have a natural birth." because sometimes things happen that endanger you or your child and intervention is the best way to go for saftey reasons.

i had an easy labor, delivered vaginally with only 30-45 min of pushing (11 hours of labor) BUT i did have both pitocin and an epidural. i thought the epidural was SUPER. but that doesn't mean i would EVER tell any other woman that she just HAD to have it!

tell those nay-sayers that surgery is not natural but labor is. do what YOU want to do! make your decision and tell everyone to shut their traps! i HATE it when other people try to tell me what i HAVE to do. yuck.

so good luck. i hope you get to have a natural birth, as you plan. either way, it will be marvelous in the end. just know that if you get to a point where an epidural would allow you to regain focus on your birthing experience, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

and please remember that your baby's health is most important. i was sad to learn that an acquantaince's baby had an apgar score of ONE when he was born because she INSISTED that the dr provide no intervention. he is fine now, but clearly suffered a LOT of trauma that could have been prevented. i would not have wanted to put my baby through that stress just to say i had a vaginal delivery. but maybe that is just me...

[kaitlinsmommy]

I had a natural birth. So natural, in fact, that dd was accidentally born in our bathtub. I never even made it to the hospital. I agree with Lori that every birth is a success and you just don't know what's going to happen.

If you really want to do natural, though, I think it's best to prepare. We were very happy with our Bradley method class.

[heva]

Thanks, Sarah...DH and I cried when DS came out! As corny as it sounds, it really was the best day of my life.

[ralu]

I also was lucky to have a natural childbirth (except for the elimination of the placenta). I wanted to avoid medications mostly because their effect on the baby is largely unknown. For me, it wasn't as bad --- I had about 4h of active labor plus 2h of pushing (that was the worst part). The contractions were like very bad menstrual cramps. I spent a lot of time in the shower. I think that what helped me was that I was expecting the pain to be much worse, so I kept saying to myself that I can bear it, since it's just the beginning. I had taken Lamaze classes and was trying to breathe right during contractions, but I don't think I was very successful. Or perhaps I was because I was trying to concentrate on my breathing and counting rather than on the pain.

I gave birth in a hospital, assisted by my OB and my husband. I was very surprised that the hospital staff had read my birth plan and that they didn't try to medicate me at all, although they were certainly regarding me as somewhat weird for wanting to deliver naturally. My only complaint is that they didn't let me move around or choose my own position for the pushing. I am happy that I delivered in a hospital with a doctor because, after the baby was born, the placenta did not eliminate by itself and I lost a lot of blood; they had to do an emergency removal in the operating room.

I have to say I felt so good about being able to deliver my baby by myself (although I know it was a lot of luck involved). Although I know this is a cliche, it really was one of the most beautiful days of my life and I often think back at it.


Raluca

[calebsmama03]

Heather - Can I just say that you SHOULD have been an OB-Gyn!! You would be fantastic!

On the original topic - it is absolutely possible to have a natural birth! I will try to keep this short since much of what I have to say has been said already...
Go with a midwife if you can. If not, make sure your doc is on-board with your wishes. I'd also recommend a doula - invaluable support for and DH. Read as much as you can to be better informed. I had planned to take Hypnobirthing classes but ended up on strict bedrest at 22 weeks with preterm labor. I had tons of time to read, so I did. The previous suggestions are great ones - I especially liked Hypnobirthing, Birthing from Within and The Birth Partner (Penny SImkin) - more for the support person but gives great ideas of positions to try and pain relieving measures. I forced DH to read it :) I also agree with the person whosaid that fear makes things worse. This is stressed in the Hypnobirthing book.

Although my actual labor was about 15 hours - if you don't count the 14 weeks of PTL contractions :) - I was in early labot for all but the last hour of it. I did not check into the hospital until about 5 hours before DS was born, and I stopped progressing after I got there because I felt "pressured". My midwife was and hour from sending me home when she suggested I lie down and relax, she'd come back in an hour and if I was still at 4cm I'd go home. After just a minute of lying down with DH and relaxing, my water broke and the ctx became constant. My MW came back to check on me and I'd gone from 4 to 9 in 5 minutes. After 20 mins of pushing DS was out - no pain medications and no interventions, not even an IV. I can definitely say that when things sped up I panicked and it got much more painful, but having a supporting DH, doula and midwife all reassuring me that I could do it made all the difference. It was extremely intense, but in retrospect I am so glad I didn't give in to an epidural. The difference with labor pain (aside from the purpose, of course) is it is finite (though it doesn't seem that way!) - it is all over once the head is out. Trust your body, be an informed "patient" and you will do wonderfully.

Feel free to e-mail me if you'd like any other info on natural birth - I read a lot during my weeks in bed!
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[annex]

I did plan to have a natural birth, and it was successful, but only because I was an idiot of sorts. I'm not sure I would recommend my route. My reason for wanting to go natural was a mix of knowing intellectually about epidurals stalling labor and other such unwanted complications, and wanting to prove how tough I was. However, I did very little to prepare myself for a natural birth - just one very unhelpful childbirth class which spent 20 minutes total on teaching Lamaze breathing. I never practiced it after the class. I didn't get a midwife or doula. I registered at the local university hospital, not a birthing center.

By sheer luck, most of my labor felt like moderate menstrual cramps. When my water broke, at home, I was quite surprised since I didn't even think I had been having real contractions. The next hour while I waited for DH to get home and take me to the hospital was difficult as I was having very strong, close contractions but I paced the house, packed the hospital bag, and did survive. By the time I got to the hospital, I was ready to throw natural childbirth out the window and get an epi, but the nurses laughed at my request because I was already fully dilated! So I pushed for 2 hours (the pushing bits helped temper the contractions' pain, thank goodness, since I had no choice then) and out came DD.

Looking back, I can see that if I had been in the hospital when my water broke, I most likely would have got an epi. The hospital staff kept exclaiming when they read my chart because they so rarely saw a natural childbirth there. I somehow doubt they would have been great natural childbirth coaches had I needed to call on them for that kind of help. My DH similarly so, what with him not having done any practice with me. My ridiculous "mind over matter, no special prep needed" macho attitude that I'd carried with me prior to labor was so unhelpful during the worst bits of my labor. Also, looking back, the pushing for two hours probably could have been a lot shorter if I had a doula or midwife who had made me squat or do other position shifts. The hospital nurses had me on my back in bed the whole time and were generally not giving me much coaching at all. I was just too drained and unsure about the whole process to know better.

Hope this helps, and congrats on your pregnancy!

[houseof3boys]

What wonderful stories people have posted here for you to read through Christina!

I also had a drug free birth. I did have to have an IV since I threw up everything including ice chips. I was really kind of bummed about it too since I had been practicing all of my yoga poses and the IV gets in the way a bit. They did have to break my water at 8 cm since I had contractions for 3 months prior so it was inevitable that DS had meconium in the fluid. The staff said they needed time to set up all of the gear and get the IC team in place for delivery so I let them break it at 8 so they could get it ready. I brought my birthing ball and sat on that for a few hours and I sat in the tiny bathtub at the hospital too (after sitting in my wonderfully large tub at home for about 5 hours prior to going to the hospital). I was really adamant about a natural and drug free birth and asked them to not offer drugs to me AT ALL because it would only piss me off (yes that is exactly what I said :P) to keep saying no. I had prepared for labor by doing tons of yoga relaxation breathing exercises and reading the books that Karen (stillplayswithbarbies) suggested. I also read the Bradley Book so I was familiar with that style of husband coached labor as well. I didn't go to any of the childbirth Bradley classes though. I had full intention of delivering in a squatting position or using the squat bar on the bed, but I had no choice but to lie down on my back after they saw the meconium! Labor was quite painful but worth every minute of it and I plan on doing it again for the next one. I was in active labor for about 20 hours and I pushed for a little over 2 hours. He was so happy in there he didn't want to come out!

Everyone thought I was a lunatic and said I would fold when it came down to it. My husband still tells people he is in awe of me and what I went through to deliver Ryan into the world. I love hearing him say that :)

Women have delivered babies for thousands of years without drugs and all across the world today people deliver drug free! You can too if it's what you want. It is really important to be prepared for everything though and to have an open mind. I would have had a drug in a second if something were going wrong or Ryan was in any danger. I had to have an oxygen mask (I didn't wear it, I just had it if I needed to put it on) when I was pushing too since it was so excrutiating since he crowned for so long and I didn't prepare myself for that. I also chose not to have an episiotomy
since I had read that tearing naturally was better for healing. That is the *only* thing I wonder if I chose correctly since I had some pretty intense tearing and stitches afterwards.

I would make sure that DH reads the books that you do so he is prepared for everything! If you want to do it naturally you can and it is YOUR birthing experience not everyone elses, so don't let anyone other persons experience or comments about what you want take that away from you.

Edited for horrible spelling!

[jubilee]

#1 baby- no pain meds, big baby (9lbs 13oz), military hospital. I wanted meds and they wouldn't give them.

#2 baby- induced, epidural at 5 cm dialated, big baby (9lbs 9oz), regional hospital

I was thinking about going natural with baby #2, since I'd already done it with #1, but I ended up with a nurse that was pro-epidural, and in the midst of pain I decided I would like more relief. My big suggestion is to ASK FOR A NURSE THAT ENJOYS ASSISTING WITH A NATURAL CHILDBIRTH. Some nurses like the increased interaction of a natural delivery and some don't. Ask right when you walk in the hospital and I think it will make the difference.

[elvisfan]

dd #1-induced labor-epidural- 5 hour 39 minute labor-8lbs 9 oz-military hospital-awesome experience but tough six month recovery(tore badly and had to be restitched 2 weeks pp)healthy baby
dd #2-induced labor-epidural-5 hour labor-9 lbs 4 oz-military hospital(same terrific midwife)-awesome experience-easy recovery, healthy baby

I always say,"Yeah, I had natural childbirth. It hurt and naturally I opted for the drugs"

[Melanie]

(responding before I read the other responses)

"you wouldn't have major surgery without pain medication so why would you go through labor without any?"

Yes, and surgery is to correct a problem, pregnancy is not a problem, disease or a condition.

Having said that, I was right in line with your thoughts, natural birth at a birthing center. ILs and friends were in an uproar only comforted by the fact that the "hospital" was only 10 minutes away. Well that hospital is full of morons who wanted to cut me open at 34 weeks b/c I had a gall bladder attack, but I digress.

Are you naive? Well, I was. I had a "high tolerance for pain." (mothers, laugh with me, you know you thought it, too!). Anyway, I just kept thinking it was pain with a purpose and struggling through it. We were exhausted and 15 hours later I was only 3 centimeters! So, we went for the hospital/tubes/drugs/SLEEP route. Luckily it turned out beautifully, much better than I'd ever imagined. We did NOT go to the aforementioned hospital, rather one 45 minutes away. LOL. I do feel that the path we took was necessary for us, and had we gone the traditional route I might not have had the happy birth I expected (we would have never found the wonderful doctor and hospital our midwife sent us to that morning).

Afterwards, my mother (who was not there) said, "I don't think your husband could handle another try at a natural birth." LOL. Anyway, nature's done it's trick and I've forgotten the pain, so yes, next time we will opt for a natural water & midwife birth. But I'm going to try hypnobirthing as well.

[hez]

One more story to add--

I was at 41 weeks, less than 1 cm dilated, so we were induced. Did the 'midnight induction' thing. Good points & bad points to that-- bad being that neither of us could sleep that afternoon in prep because we were too nervous!

After 12 hours or so, and only getting to 2-3cm, I got the nubain, thinking "I'll just take the edge off". I'd gone in with an open mind, as well, intending to avoid any pain med help. I really didn't like the nubain-- made me woozy, and while the edge was taken off, I didn't think it was worth it. I think it may have interfered with my ability to focus & relax.

At 16 hours I got an epidural (at 3-4 cm). And then I got a boost because they underestimated how much to give. And a couple hours later I had jumped pretty quickly to 7-8 cm, so I had another boost, as the epidural couldn't keep up.

I'd had a hard time by the time we got to 16 hours, and after the epidural, I could actually rest. It was a very emotional decision to get the epidural. I really had thought I could do this on my own, and maybe under different circumstances I could have. All I know is that for me, it was a relief when it came, I'm guilt-free about it, and with the end result, it ended up being the best decision.

At 21 hours or so, at 9 cm, when DS's heart trace still wasn't reactive, they checked his oxygen levels with this neat probe thing, and determined he wasn't getting enough to be able to handle a vaginal delivery. So, we ended up with a c-section. My wonderful anesthesiologist put me on a 15 minute 'trip' because I was freaking out. I woke to DS's cry. Poor DH just held my hand while I was 'out'.

The most ironic part is that DS's heart trace was never reactive from the moment I checked in to be induced. The nurse on duty said (as they were deciding whether or not to induce at that point), "What, are we just going to send you in for a c-section now?"

[spencersmommy]

I was the opposite, I knew I wanted an epidural b/c I was afraid of the pain and people said you usually have a long labor with your first. My water started leaking at home and we went to the hospital to get checked. They said we were staying and they gave me Pitocin b/c I wasn't having any contractions. 4 hours later, nothing yet, so my doctor broke my water bag and gave me some drug (I'm embarrassed to say I am not sure what it is!). That made me sooo sick! I was sweaty and sick and feeling pain! So after an hour of that, I got the epidural and felt tons better! I watched TV, read magazines, talked on the phone, and 3 hours after the epidural, I was ready to push. The lights were dim, we used the mirror (I didn't want to until after I started pushing, and I am glad I did!), and my husband caught the baby and cut the cord. I really felt it had been pretty easy! I know it was b/c of my epidural. I am glad I had one, but I know not everyone wants one. One thing though, my right leg was a little numb for about 2 weeks afterward. Not too bad, but I didn't feel comfortable driving for a while. For my next baby, I plan on having another epidural, too. Good luck to you! Childbirth is an amzing process! I absolutely loved it!
Amy
Mommy to Spencer 6-4-03

[sntm]

LOL - the toenail polish comment was for me!! definitely going to have to be better about yoga next time.




shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[elvisfan]

You know, I just want to share an opinion. I've read through this thread and I see a mentality that saddens me~the mentality that childbirth is some kind of contest with winners( those who do not accept drugs) and losers( those who opt for drugs).
For those of you who have yet to give birth, don't buy into this mentality. Please.

[Melanie]

I don't feel I *lost* b/c I accepted drugs, I just strayed from our birth plan in a way that was necessary that everyone ended up healthy, for us. However, the reason I would try for a natural birth again is because I feel very lucky to come out of the hospital unharmed. I have known people to suffer life-long unpleasant/painful/devastating effects of hospital/medical interventions during child birth, and *I am not comfortable* with modern interventions during childbirth. If *you* are comfortable with it, then that is what is right for you and your family.

[KathyO]

I think that in many of these cases, the point the writer is trying to make is that we plan ahead of time about what we want to happen (which is good), but that we have to remain flexible because stuff just happens and sometimes the plan goes out the window, and you have to be prepared to roll with that.

I planned/hoped for a drug-free birth, but when the moment came I opted for pain relief and have no regrets. Nobody pushed it on me; I called the shots from start to finish. I do not begrudge the elation of women who were able to carry through with the plans they made.

But I agree - it's too easy to measure yourself against others, particularly in categories where the "measurements" are completely meaningless. I met an acquaintance today who is due the week before I am. She never fails to enquire whether my daughter is toilet trained yet (hers is, mine isn't). And I admit that in my petty, evil soul of souls I was happy to see that she has gained WAY more weight than I have. Both guilty as charged!!

Cheers,

KathyO

[houseof3boys]

Sorry that you felt that there was a competitive hierarchy with the responses to the post elvisfan. The posters struggle was whether she could have a natural birth since she was not getting a lot of external support with that so she was seeking opinions by posting. The majority of people that are going to respond on these boards are trying to be encouraging with their own experiences with natural childbirth since that was her question. You know how supportive everyone is here (including you!) so that is what the common thread was with everyones response to her question.

Childbirth is a wonderful experience for all mommies...drugs or no drugs! :)

[elvisfan]

>Sorry that you felt that there was a competitive hierarchy
>with the responses to the post elvisfan. The posters struggle
>was whether she could have a natural birth since she was not
>getting a lot of external support with that so she was seeking
>opinions by posting. The majority of people that are going to
>respond on these boards are trying to be encouraging with
>their own experiences with natural childbirth since that was
>her question. You know how supportive everyone is here
>(including you!) so that is what the common thread was with
>everyones response to her question.
>
>Childbirth is a wonderful experience for all mommies...drugs
>or no drugs! :)
It's just that when I see comments like"You can do it!" regarding natural childbirth, it sounds like we are talking about a race or a contest. What if complications arise and you "can't do it"? What then?
If the OP wants a natural birth, fine and dandy. I feel that at times people put more emphasis on the way a baby comes into this world versus the end result-a healthy, happy baby.
To the OP, I pray that you deliver a happy and healthy baby and that you have a pleasant birth experience....

[stillplayswithbarbies]

the way that a baby comes into this world has a lot of influence on how happy and healthy it is.

I think that is why we all research so much and try to plan the best we can.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[elvisfan]

>the way that a baby comes into this world has a lot of
>influence on how happy and healthy it is.
>
>I think that is why we all research so much and try to plan
>the best we can.
>
>...Karen
>Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
>Logan Elizabeth Mar 03
Well,if that is the case, then I encourage everyone to get pain relief as I did.....my babies were both happy and healthy at birth and beyond...........

[Rachels]

You were lucky. I'm not saying that there is never an occasion for medication, but let's not pretend it doesn't have risks for moms AND babies. I think that Karen's point about research is an important one. If you aren't truly familiar with the risks, there's no way you can make an honestly informed decision about your care. I think that lots of times, women in this country simply don't know that there's so much literature out there. Doctors aren't sharing it, because it's often counter to the way they practice. I feel pretty strongly that it's worth taking the time to learn about what the research says. Making a blanket statement that "everyone should get pain relief" is absolutely unsupported by every scrap of literature on the topic. Yes, many babies do just fine with meds. And many experience complications which give them -- or their families-- a less than optimal start.

As for the "you can do it" sentiment, it's absolutely essential that a woman hear that when she is undertaking natural childbirth. It's not because it's a race. It's because it's an experience that by its nature demands a great deal of support. Having done it, I can say with certainty that having others support me and express their belief in my abilities was critical to the process and had NOTHING to do with putting down any woman who made a different choice.

But I will say that I think it's kind of sad when someone posts asking for support about natural birth and gets answers that say, essentially, "I found it impossible" or "You're nuts if you do it," or even, "There's a much better way." She's almost certainly hearing plenty of this elsewhere in her life. The fact that you chose to be medicated for childbirth is unrelated to what she's asking for, and is a quiet suggestion that she can't or shouldn't do it.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[houseof3boys]

Hold on elvisfan. I don't mean to start a huge debate but Karen's point is valid, there is documented research on drugs affecting the baby for hours and even up to months from drugs used during labor. That is not to say that all babies have weird side effects that impair them in anyway but it does affect the baby and it would be naive to think it didn't. Clearly it is not discussed as readily as it should be but that is because of the racket that drug companies would cause. No one is debating to not use drugs in a case where there was an emergency, several people said that. But drugs that a mother receives does impact the child in varying degrees. Just as the half of glass of red wine I had with my dinner affected Ryan when he ate sooner than I planned tonight! Perhaps he'll sleep a little longer if you know what I mean :P (injecting a bit of humor here to lighten the tone...did it work?)

Drugs are totally necessary in many labors, but the amount of drugs used in labor in the United States is astounding compared to other countries where drug free births are commonplace. Someone just posted about this on these boards not that long ago.

This shouldn't be a touchy controversial post (please let's not go through another one of those), it should be a supportive post that is based on the facts and personal experiences of others.

I am very passionate about this issue since I tried to educate myself the best I knew how before I gave birth and I take it to heart I guess.

[elvisfan]

>You were lucky. I'm not saying that there is never an
>occasion for medication, but let's not pretend it doesn't have
>risks for moms AND babies. I think that Karen's point about
>research is an important one. If you aren't truly familiar
>with the risks, there's no way you can make an honestly
>informed decision about your care. I think that lots of
>times, women in this country simply don't know that there's so
>much literature out there. Doctors aren't sharing it, because
>it's often counter to the way they practice. I feel pretty
>strongly that it's worth taking the time to learn about what
>the research says. Making a blanket statement that "everyone
>should get pain relief" is absolutely unsupported by every
>scrap of literature on the topic. Yes, many babies do just
>fine with meds. And many experience complications which give
>them -- or their families-- a less than optimal start.
>
>As for the "you can do it" sentiment, it's absolutely
>essential that a woman hear that when she is undertaking
>natural childbirth. It's not because it's a race. It's
>because it's an experience that by its nature demands a great
>deal of support. Having done it, I can say with certainty
>that having others support me and express their belief in my
>abilities was critical to the process and had NOTHING to do
>with putting down any woman who made a different choice.
>
>But I will say that I think it's kind of sad when someone
>posts asking for support about natural birth and gets answers
>that say, essentially, "I found it impossible" or "You're nuts
>if you do it," or even, "There's a much better way." She's
>almost certainly hearing plenty of this elsewhere in her life.
> The fact that you chose to be medicated for childbirth is
>unrelated to what she's asking for, and is a quiet suggestion
>that she can't or shouldn't do it.
>
>-Rachel
>Mom to Abigail Rose
>5/18/02
I'm not suggesting anything. All I'm saying is that she shouldn't feel badly if she *does* accept pain relief. Also, you don't get extra points for having a drug-free delivery. Your kids won't hate you twenty years down the road if you get the epidural.
I made my decision to accept pain relief during my l and d on the advice of my good friend-an OBGYN who had delivered just weeks earlier-as well as my own OBGYN who strongly recommended the epidural as she herself had had one during childbirth. Also, I wanted the birthing experience to be a pleasant one, and it was...both times around:) Yes, things can happen...things like a very negative natural childbirth experience that stays with you for the rest of your life. I know of at least four mothers who delivered without the benefit of pain relief and every single one of them has negative memories of the experience. It isn't all glory and wonderful and touchy feely.....that's in the (childbirth education) movies.
Yes, I did the research. But you have to consider the source of the research. A book like Birthing From Within is going to put down epidurals like no tomorrow. Of course it is..it was written by a midwife who had been a student nurse in the 70s when laboring women were routinely tied down, anesthesized and cut.....of course, it's going to be against anything remotely "medical" like a epidural or an episiotomy-heck, it was even against circumcision. That book ended up in the trash........

[elvisfan]

edited:double post........
......walking away with hands in pocket...op: seriously, hope it all works out for you...and remember, the point isn't how you're going to get there....the point is you are going to arrive:)

[Calmegja]

I could not agree with you any more, Elvisfan.

I don't care how the baby gets here, as long as mom and baby are safe. Honestly, it could be by FedEx, and that's be just fine with me.

What matters is every moment afterwards, not how you get the baby here.

[Calmegja]

>the way that a baby comes into this world has a lot of
>influence on how happy and healthy it is.
>

Okay, so by that thinking, my two babies that had to be resuscitated/needed special care at birth are probably not as healthy, and not as happy as their sisters, who had much easier deliveries?

That is simply untrue. Again, it's all the moments that happen after the baby is here that counts, not the method of delivery.

[bethwl]

Yes, a healthy baby is the most important thing to everyone, but you know, how it happens is of importance to the mom and she shouldn't be made to feel selfish for caring about the process and what her body goes through. I am thrilled that my daughter was born healthy and alert, but I think it's ok that I was disappointed that the midwife had to call an OB who did a vacuum extraction and cut me (and I tore). I trusted my midwife and her worry about the baby's heartbeat not recovering during my too-close-together contractions and I understand perfectly that she felt a vacuum extraction was necessary. I can still wish it hadn't happened that way.

Anway, to the OP, try not to let people tell you you are crazy and that it's not possible. My advice is to try to surround yourself with other people who have had or want to have natural childbirth. Take a class specifically geared toward having a natural birth (we liked our Bradley class a lot); I don't think you should expect to have a natural birth without doing a lot of work to prepare yourself. Tell your husband that the best thing he can do for you is be supportive and learn as much as he can about how to help a laboring woman. If you truly want a drug-free birth, then ask him to help you reach that goal. But if you find during labor that the pain is too much for you to bear or the methods you practiced for pain relief aren't working and opt for medication, that's fine. Medication for childbirth is and should be an option, but I don't think it should be a foregone conclusion (as it seems to have become in this country).

[stillplayswithbarbies]

my point is that the interventions and the medications do affect the baby. Women should do the research and understand what the possible effects of the interventions will be, before they decide to accept them.

All the happy moments after the birth can't change how the drugs have already affected them, if they have. Or other interventions.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[ismommy]

I think that reading and educating yourself about your pregnancy and birth is the best thing you can do. I had planned a homebirth with a midwife and ended with an emergency c-section. But I have no regrets or anger about that since I know this was necessary for me to have a healthy Bella. My midiwfe was with me up until I went into the OR and later told me I was her hero for putting my fears(I was terrified of the epidural) and what I wanted for my birth behind me and just doing what was necesarry. BTW I think all moms do this not only at pregnancy and birth but throughout their childrens' life.
I think you should have a positive attitude about natural childbirth - I had alot of people tell me I was nuts for wanting an out of hospital birth and when I had the emercency c they made comments. Hey I was never against technology I just dont feel its necessary for childbirth with no complications. I had several staring with being hit by a drunk driver.
I have to say even with the emercency c Bella was snuggled by here dada in the OR and rode back to our room with me. She then latched on with the help of our midwife who had stayed to make sure everything was okay and calm a very worried grandma. We had a great breast feedng relationship.Like many have posted we had some rough momenst but we figured it out. And she is one of the most attached toddlers I know so even medical interventions at birth doesnt have to hurt the bonding experience.
I am not saying that interventions are good - as I plan a second I am desperatly seeking someone to do a VBAC. But I did want to offer reasurance that if plans go out the window you can still have a great birthing experience.
Best of luck with your pregnancy, birth and mommyhood.

Helene
mommy to Isabella 9/19/01

[Calmegja]

Honestly, Karen, I think it's been a long time since I've seen something written that is so insensitive and flat out wrong. I'm struggling on how what you said is supposed to be either helpful, supportive or accurate. Some of us who had interventions have also researched the topic until we're ready to explode with information, too. And just because we've come to a different conclusion than you doesn't make it wrong.

Don't bother responding. I'm putting my hands in my pocket, as well, and walking away before this becomes a trainwreck.

For future reference, or for your future personal experiences, I think you may want to peer outside your box and look a little more closely at what is accurate, not older studies, or an experience that is different than more modern techniques, and also, think, just a little about the kind of pressure of expectation you lay on someone when you say that their first moments with their child are cheapened/lessened by the flavor of their birth experience.

I stand by my assertation that a healthy baby, and a healthy mother are the goal, and if it arrives by FedEx is need be, that's fine with me. Getting all hung up on the process as a determining factor for how your relationship will be later, or even to make asides to the baby's health and happiness being determined by method of delivery....I have very little I could say to that.

So c-sections, inductions for med reasons, adoptions without an ideal birth process, all of these need not apply in your scenario to produce a happy, healthy infant?

Geesh.

[newbelly2002]

**my post is a complete aside to Heather. I wrote it before reading the following 4 pages where things have become a little...heated.**

Let me guess, Heather...Martha Jefferson? I had Dr. T (Thiargarajah) as my OB. It really felt like a birthing center not a hospital. And I also took two prenatal yoga courses there on Market Street.

Your post made me nostalgic. And like you, we're considering, if we're anywhere in VA when #2 comes around, at going back to MJ it was that good!

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/1/02

[muskiesusan]

I also planned for a natual childbirth and got a lot of unsolicited advice from friends who thought I was crazy. It actually made me quite mad, I didn't tell them they were nuts for planning on having an epidural, why couldn't they respect my choice? I had one friend who was so vocal so often about my choice, I told DH that if I did ask for drugs, he was to say her name, but I can be petty like that!

I think preparation is key. We tood Bradley classes, had a midwife, and a doula all involved.

With that said, I did have a cesarean birth. Nicholas was breech and despite doing everything to get him to turn, it didn't happen. I am pregnant again and planning an unmedicated VBAC. I am not angry that I didn't have a natual birth with him, but I am a bit peeved that as a result of the epidural I have virtually no memory of the birth, and I was shaking so badly from the drugs I couldn't hold Nicholas for some time (I had an awesome OB who tried to give Nick to me immediately). I know not everyone has this reaction to an epidural, and that it works great for them, but for me, I want to try and avoid it with this baby.

Sorry so long.

Susan
WAHM to Nicholas 10/01/01
& Baby #2 due 4/23/04!!!!

[COElizabeth]

Susan,

Please don't think I am trying to dissuade you from an unmedicated birth or arguing with the effects of the epidural, but I wanted to mention a possibility just in case it applied to you and could be helpful.

I once had knee surgery under epidural anesthesia. I was supposed to be awake during the procedure and watching it on video camera. However, I was also given some other drug (a sedative or narcotic - I still am confused by all the terms) to make me relax a bit. Instead, it made me go a little crazy (as in trying to rip down the surgical curtain), so they had to up the dose and make me so sedated I fell asleep and don't remember anything.

Since then, I have had two other knee surgeries with spinal anesthesia and delivered James with an epidural and was awake and alert through all three of those events. I was not able to obtain the hospital records from the first knee surgery, so I didn't know what drug had had that effect, but I made sure to tell the nurses when I had James that I wanted no narcotics or sedatives at all. They respected my wishes and never suggested any of those drugs. I did have an epidural, as I mentioned, but I was fully awake. I did have some shivering afterwards, I think, but not so bad that I couldn't hold my baby or anything like that.

It might be worth checking to see if you were given any other drugs so that you can avoid those if circumstances change your plans for delivery. Also, I am not sure, but I believe that anesthesiologists have different choices of drugs even for an epidural, so they might be able to avoid that drug even if it was the epidural that caused your problem. It's certainly worth asking about if it could give you more peace of mind going into your next delivery!

HTH.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[heva]

You got it, Paula! Dr. T was our backup. Funniest part of labor: when I arrived at the ER, I was in transition, (poor little old man who greeted me said "Well, I know why you're here! Would you like to walk or ride?" and I managed to grunt out "RIDE!!!!"), so I was pretty much just trying to ride out the storm. Good in a way, as they got me up to the ward ASAP! Anyway, they wheeled me into the room, I tore off my clothes, except for a t-shirt (it was hot), and climbed onto all fours on the bed with my bare butt sticking up in the air. While I didn't see this for myself, DH tells me at that very moment, Dr. T stuck his head in the room, waved "Hi" to DH and ran away, not to be seen again! We had a good chuckle about that...

[stillplayswithbarbies]

>
>So c-sections, inductions for med reasons, adoptions without
>an ideal birth process, all of these need not apply in your
>scenario to produce a happy, healthy infant?
>

You have already said you won't reply again, and I respect that. But I do want to clear up one thing.

I said this:
>the way that a baby comes into this world has a lot of
>influence on how happy and healthy it is.

I did not say, nor imply, that the only way to have a happy healthy baby is to avoid c-sections, inductions for med reasons, adoptions without an ideal birth process, or anything else.

I simply said that the way a baby comes into this world has a lot of influence on how happy and healthy it is.

There are risks and there are trade offs and sometimes the risk of having a sleepy baby far outweighs the risks of having a baby with more serious complications. (or any other scenario we can imagine)

At some point during my research, I realized that the ob/gyn's main focus is on the mother. I am his patient. And being a doctor, he is interested in relieving my suffering. Relieving my suffering was not paramount to me, helping my baby have the best birth experience he/she can have is paramount to me.

I am glad that there are all these medical interventions that save lives of both the babies and the mothers. But I am sad that people don't always understand the consequences and are not given the opportunity to make an informed choice.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Rachels]

In theory I agree with that, but in practice, lots of interventions do not always keep mother and baby safe. Often, they do the opposite. There are 22 countries in the world that have documented better survival rates for moms and babies than the US. In every one of these countries, there is a much, MUCH lower rate of epidural use, narcotics for pain relief, episiotomy, electronic fetal monitoring, and cesarean birth. In every European country with a better outcome (including EVERY country in Western Europe), midwives are attending at least 75% of all births. So it DOES matter how you get the baby here. Using lots of technology for a normal birth can make the mother more comfortable and sometimes has no notable side effects, but it can also contribute to illness and injury and even death in the mother or the baby. The death rate for women with a cesarean birth is three times the death rate for women with a vaginal birth, for example. Even epidurals have consequences, and not just in a few women. For instance, sometimes they just don't work. Often, they leave the mother with a debilitating spinal headache that can last for literally weeks and interrupt her ability to care for her newborn. They also slowly raise the mother's and baby's body temperature, frequently resulting in babies born with a fever. The only way to know whether it's an epidural fever or a septic fever is to give that newborn baby a spinal tap. (NOT the introduction to the world I wanted for my daughter.) And episiotomy is the most commonly performed surgical procedure in the US, despite the fact that the World Health Organization has deemed it a practice which is frequently used inappropriately; they recommend that no country have more than a 10% episiotomy rate.

These aren't pretty facts, but they're facts. They're worth knowing before you decide that opting for a technological birth is really no big deal. Thank heavens the technology exists. It's essential when birth is NOT normal. But when it is, it can and does muck things up FAR more often than many women are aware. And that can affect not just the birth, but "everything after."

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[lisams]

This is kind of off-topic, but did anyone else find that the medical procedures after delivery were more influential in the interference of bonding/positive experience than the labor itself? I was induced for medical reasons and had an epidural, but it was what happened after DD was born that was a little bothersome. Here are some of the things I didn't like:

1. They put ointment in her eyes right after delivery when she was so alert. I know this had to effect her vision as she was gazing at me.

2. Cutting the cord immediately instead of letting it pulse.

3. They put DD on me for the few minutes after she was born but then went to bathe her. I've heard that the vernix (spelling?) is actually a wonderful skin protectant that is absorbed and doesn't need washing off. I would have loved to hold her longer than a few minutes. I didn't think there should have been such a rush to wash her off.

4. The encouragement from staff to send her down to the nursery. Are you kidding me!! I wanted to soak up every ounce of her and couldn't take my eyes off her! Plus she was nursing and I wanted to feed her on demand. I don't know how I could have done that if she wasn't rooming with us.

5. DD Being taken down to the nursery to be examined/tested instead of having the ped. do it in our room so I could ask questions.

I know there's more, but these are the ones that stick out at the moment. I will do things differently next time and will feel much more in charge of making decisions about medical procedures for me and the baby. I had read up a lot on the birthing process but never really thought about directly after the birth/infant procedures.

Lisa

[stillplayswithbarbies]

We had things like that in our birth plan. I wasn't paying attention when they had DH cut the cord, but DH says it was not right away, she was already laying on my chest. They did the eye ointment sometime later that night. She didn't get her bath until after they took me to my room, and DH and my son went with her for the bath. She roomed in with me. The whole time we were there, she didn't go anywhere without either me or DH with her. The ped did the exam in our room the next day.

I had done a lot of reading before the birth and knew what to expect, so we had all that in the birthplan. But actually it didn't matter as those are all standard procedures at the hospital where we delivered. I am very lucky to live where I do.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[newbelly2002]

Man,he was the best. He was so low-key throughout the entire pregnancy, untilt I passed a row of gallstones at week 38. Then he got serious. Once we got that figured out, he was low key again right up through the delivery. Our labor nurse was also an LC (Alison) who was fantastic! Everyone knew my wishes and even when things got rough, they kept to them.

The best part was that the following day Dr. T came in and we had the following conversation
Him: "You know, your pregnancy was exactly the type they intended epidurals for."
Me: "Why didn't anyone even mention it."
Him: [with a chesire-cat grin] "because you said you didn't want it."

I couldn't have asked for anything better.

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/1/02

[lizamann]

I just wanted to add, after reading the other thread, that I had a doula, which was a huge factor in helping me through my natural birth. Hiring one will really increase your chances.

[calebsmama03]

YES!! I had much of this written into my plan but when DS heartrate was low the option of delaying cord cutting and keeping him with me were no longer an option. Other than a few seconds while waiting for a portable oxygen tank to arrive, I didn't get to hold DS for 6 hours. As you can imagine I was about jumping out of my skin with anticipation while they were weaning him from the oxygen tent to room air. Throughout the process I had a nursery nurse insisting that I go to my room and sleep since it would be a while before they got him out of the tent, then they would *have* to bathe him first and put him back under the warmer for another 45 minutes since the bath would make his temp drop. You would not believe the argument I had with this lady over her insistence that he get a bath before I hold him (she also told me that I shouldn't touch him while he was under the oxygen since it would stree him too much - HELLO!) I "won" the argument and got to hold him as soon as they determined he was OK, but she was so rude and even made a comment to the effect that DS was "dirty and gross" and it was silly for me to want to hold him that way. Grrr... I could go on but I won't. Needless to say DS didn't leave my sight the rest of the time!! Just another set of things that moms need to educate themselves about!
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[heva]

How insulting that your own body fluids that DS lived in for 9 mos. are "dirty and gross." Sometimes people are so stupid. I'm so sorry you had to go through that!

[lizajane]

paula and heather-

random in the midst of this conversation... but i was born at martha jefferson (of course, it was 1975...)

[COElizabeth]

Lynne,

How terrible! I can't remember, did you deliver at Rose? I did, and while the nurse wiped James off some with a towel while he was on my chest, he didn't have the bath and warmer routine until the next morning, after spending most of the night on my chest. That nurse is definitely in the wrong profession!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[nathansmom]

I planned for a natural childbirth. I had to be induced 2 weeks early due to medical problems. I hadn't even started to dilate. I have to describe my contractions as menstrual cramps. I really didn't think they were so bad. However when they gave me Piction I thought I was going to die. I was throwing up and in extreme pain. My nurse suggested the epidural and I decided to get one. I had to have an emergency csection. If I hadn't had the epidural I would have missed the birth of my child. No one should feel cheated that they didn't have a natural childbirth.

Nathan and I both spent time in NICU/ICU after the delivery. Nathans apgar score was low, he had low blood sugar (8), and the cord was tightly wrapped around his neck. There is no evidence that any of the medication I had during labor caused any of these problems. Nathan today is a very happy well adjusted child.

[1ontheway]

Sorry that it seems I started another debate. I was just hoping for some encouragement which I greatly appreciate. DH and I are taking a childbirth class geared towards natural birth (a variation of Bradley), but the instructor does stress being open to other options should the need arise through medical emergency or the need for inducement or augmentation. I feel that we're getting a very well rounded approach with pros and cons on the issues so that DH and I can be educated and make the best decisions for us. I do not have a midwife, but I must say that our OB practice seems very flexible on most issues. That is part of the reason we chose them-knowing they support the mother's decision-whichever it may be whenever possible. We were also very impressed with the flexibility of the hospital when we toured. So we are excited but open if things do not go exactly as planned.

Thanks again for all the personal experiences. I'll keep you all posted with it how it goes.

Christina
EDD 1/12/04

[heva]

I was born at UVA in 1971!

You think there are issues with birthing practices now...my poor mom was not allowed to deliver without an epidural and her doula was not permitted into the delivery room. Even worse, she had appendicitis 6 wks after I was born and always says the pain she had from mastitis (because no one in the hospital knew how to work the breast pump) was worse than the appy! I'm happy to say that UVA now has a great lactaction consultant.

[starrynight]

I wish you a ton of luck and I hope you have the birth experience you want and a healthy baby.

I had all 3 of my kids without pain meds, that was my choice but I can understand not everyone does it without meds. I did end up with pitocin with my last delivery and I hated having the iv because it made me itch but I wasn't really progressing and since my water had broken already they wanted me to deliver in the next 24 hours so the pit was started. I think the key to a pain med free delivery is to have a supportive person there besides the nurse, either a doula or your dh. My dh hated seeing me in pain but at the same time he knew this was what I wanted and didn't suggest the meds and just tried to help me breath through it and rub my back etc. If you don't want the meds or want to at least try and avoid them tell your nurse to not suggest pain relief or ask about the epidural unless you ask for it. In my second delivery the nurse kept asking me to get it and kept bugging me about it, even brought me forms to sign "incase I changed my mind" I was very upset and got sick of telling them NO I didn't want it. With this last delivery I told the doctor and nurse I didn't want it and they left me alone.

[mrmansmom]

You are absolutely not being naive and not nuts! Going through labor is NOT major surgery, so that statement is completely invalid. Child birth is a natural event- the complete opposite of major surgery. I think it's nuts for people to immediately say they want to involve medication in their birthing process. It takes such a short amount of time for the drugs in the mother's blood to reach the child. Why would you want to expose your child to that UNLESS there was a complication with labor?

I think many women, for some reason, don't have confidence in themselves and their bodies, so they they think "Give me drugs!" Our bodies are designed to give birth, and if you go into the process with the right attitude you absolutely can do it.

I recently gave birth to my first without using drugs and I am so glad I did it that way. I didn't have the easiest delivery, either. It was such a good feeling afterwards to not have any of the side effects I've heard about form drugs and more importantly for my child not to have any effects.

Yes, labor was painful (putting it mildly). But if you just take it one contraction at a time you can do it. No one knows how long labor will last, so just think about the present, not that your labor could last for 6 more hours (or whatever). You will feel such a sense of accomplishment when it's over.

Please don't let anyone talk you out of it or try to make you feel bad. You are doing a great thing for yourself and your baby!

[dogmom]

Why did I click on this thread when I knew it would get my upset?

"I think many women, for some reason, don't have confidence in themselves and their bodies, so they they think "Give me drugs!" Our bodies are designed to give birth, and if you go into the process with the right attitude you absolutely can do it."

I am intimately familiar with the miracles that our bodies our and when they can sustain. I do have confidence in my body, I did get an epidural. It was not scary, it was not bad, it allowed me to relax in a way that breathing (which I did practice and do yoga) just didn't get me to. When I hear people talking about "walking and positions" I got to laugh. I was in every position there was with the epidural and there was no way I was able to walk before the epidural. I realize that I had a hard, fast labor, and not everyone has those. The epidural actually slowed things down, which was a good thing so we could rotate my son around.

Yes, giving birth is not a disease or a surgical procedure. But neither is menstrual cramps, and I take Motrin when they are bad. I realize an epidural is a bit more than Motrin, but I was very versed in the procedure and happy about it. People can choose not to have the "wonderful, natural childbirth in a birthing center" for many reasons. My reasons were talking to one too many husbands who lost their wives during childbirth. I realize it is very rare, but it is my reality. I wanted to make sure if I blew a cerebral anuerysm or popped a pulmonary embolism someone would be right there that could do something about it. My OB was very understanding about my needs. The first thing I said to him was "As long the baby comes out alive and healthy and I come out alive, I really don't care how you get me there."

I would never dream of talking someone out of "natural" childbirth, but I would also not try to talk someone out of an epidural if that's what they wanted. I know people who thought they needed an epidural who were suprised out how easy it was, and I know people who were dead set on the natural childbirth experience who now would now never recommend it to anyone. I just think labor is individual that it really pays to be flexible.



Jeanne
Mom to Harvey
1/16/03

[mrmansmom]

It certainly wasn't my intent to be inflammitory. As someone who experienced natural childbirth, I was just trying to be supportive of the original author. When I was pregnant, I too would get the "What are you thinking??!!" type comments. These days, a very large percentage of the population has medication assisted births, and you are viewed as being weird if you don't do the same. OF COURSE every woman should make the decision she feels is right for her and her family. However, I stand by my statemnt that many women do not have the confidence in themselves to go through with a natural childbirth. Labor is a very intimidating thing to think about. Many people hear about the pain and think that there's no way they can do it. I would like everyone to think that they can do it, though. Nature is how (most) babies are created and that same thousands-of-years-old biology has refined our bodies to make birthing as efficient as possible. I'm not telling anyone that she is a horrible uncaring mother if she chooses an edidural or narcotics for assistance during labor, I would just like for people to at least THINK about natural childbirth rather than dismissing it so quickly as being antequated and/or mountain man-ish. It is doable and it is an awesome experience.

[newbelly2002]

"But if you just take it one contraction at a time you can do it."

That's part of the problem, sometimes there *is* no break. I had confidence; the pain didn't intimidate me. My mom had done it with no meds, so no one was telling me that it was "weird." But after 6 hours of intense, one on top of another, contractions, it wasn't a possibility. I had no strength left and the nurse was concerned that without a break I was going to end up with a C-section.

The narcotics did NOT leave me dopey nor out of it. They were administered about once every 2 hours over the course of about 12 hours. In between I was up, walking, showering, sitting in the hot tub, bouncing on the birthing ball, rocking and moving about. I was never connected to any tubes. I didn't sit in the bed until it was time to push, and they needed to put it in a temporary catheter. Without the narcotics, I wouldn't have had the strength to continue. i wouldn't have had the strength to push. I wouldn't have had the strength to hold my son on my chest and to know the amazing thing that had just happened.

What bothers me is the all or nothing attitude that seems to come up when talking about childbirth. There's a whole lot of in-between. I think problems arise when women find that they can't have the med-free birth experience they want and then think why bother, it's all over anyway. I wish more people would talk about/consider the multitude of options inbetween.

Just my .02--okay, maybe .10--cents :)

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/1/02

[AngelaS]

I had complications and lots of drugs with my first. When I had Gabrielle, I had NO drugs and it was painful, but I made it thru. It was an incredibly awesome experience and SO empowering. I would do her birth again! :D