To those whom I have hurt or offended...an open letter

[flagger]

I let my emotions get the best of me today and took some things very personally. I cannot take back those who I rated negatively. I am sorry I have managed to alienate apparently a great many of you here. I post what works for us and I am sorry if some of you take it as the only way. I am a total Leo who from time to time thinks my way or the highway and I am sure it comes across when I post. Ms. Flagger has just learned to let me think I am right.

I have some very strong opinions as do others. I am sorry I took it to a personal level instead of addressing the post or the idea. When it all comes down to it the only things that matter are Ms. Flagger and Cocoa and my dogs and even my evil mother. ;)

For those who are stay at home moms, I wanted to share a story about this weekend:

Ms. Flagger and I have completely reversed our roles against the norms of society. It came to a head over the weekend when instead of reaching for a Pepcid AC before eating Chili that had been cooking for 19 hours, I realised later I had in fact swallowed a Midol.

All my best,

Flagger

[Sarah1]

Flagger (and I mean this as as a term of endearment), you're the biggest drama queen in this place. And this is coming from someone who, most of the time, totally agrees with what you have to say!

Maybe the Midol was just what you needed! LOL!

[lisams]

That makes me feel better- thank you for explaining. If any of my posts ever offended you, I never meant it. It's so hard over typed words since you can't hear the tone so I can understand how things can be misunderstood.

Lisa

[KimberleyDawn]

Flagger!
Thank you!!!!! I was getting sooooo worried that things were going to reach a level and it couldn't be fixed....
Glad you're back AND BEHAVE you brute ;)!
Kim

[bluej]

"Ms. Flagger has just learned to let me think I am right"

Hmmm, sounds like our household. There are many times you remind me of my DH. You can be harsh at times, but I let it roll off my back b/c MOST times you are wise and reasonable, even when you don't agree w/ what is being said. I think when most people don't agree w/ something they just move on, but then there are some people who have to have their say or they can't sleep. The latter would be my DH and I suspect possibly you. And yep, even when I don't agree w/ DH the fastest way to get him to shut up is to just let him believe he's right! Most of the time I take him to task though :) I'm glad you took the time to clear the air!

[houseof3boys]

So you did have PMS? That's what I thought old school.

:P

I'm sure those you TOTALLY offended won't give a rats behind, but the ones that you semi-offended might feel better with your letter.

Bullseye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mamahill]

I completely agree! :D You're the guy who can go from the one we love to hate, to the one we hate to love in mere seconds.

More importantly, has the bloating gone away?;)

[flagger]

One of those events that you wish you could freeze forever and bottle up happened yesterday evening. I handed Cocoa a Kleenex and watched her tiny little brain process something she had never seen or felt before. She didn't try to eat it at first. She just held it, rubbed it on her face, moved it from hand to hand. It was just awesome seeing something with her eyes. I so hope for many more of those moments.

Of course, I had to turn away and grab the camera. The DSS poster boy strikes again leaving her sitting high on a computer table with my back turned. Fortunately she was too entranced to move. :D

http://www.flaggshipweims.com/bbb/kleenex.jpg

[csa12]

Hi Flagger -
I don't post much but I have read a lot of the heated posts and exchanges that have taken place between people. While there were some posts of yours that some people took offense too and could be viewed as being inciteful, I think a lot of misunderstanding occurs b/c others misinterpret tone or refuse to ignore "strong" opinions and move on. I view everyone involved in this forum as a fellow parent first and NOT as a parenting guru or "expert". I take the info they have to offer with a grain of salt. True, some post more forcefully than others, but I have learned to not take what they have to say personally or as a strike against my method of parenting. AGAIN, I am not referring to personal attacks but only to forceful statements about parenting styles.

With all that said, I am glad that you apologize for letting your emotions get the best of you, but hope that you continue posting about your parenting experiences in whatever manner you choose (short of personally attacking someone of course :) ). I know that you would never become overly paranoid about how your posts are interpreted, but hope that this whole episode won't affect the experiences/information you would like to share with the message board. Not everyone communicates the same way. If they interpret the tone of your post as bully-ish when you are merely stating your experience, then that is their problem and certainly not yours!

Cheers,
Cheryl

[Jenmv]

"I am a total Leo who from time to time thinks my way or the highway and I am sure it comes across when I post. Ms. Flagger has just learned to let me think I am right."

LOL! DH is a Leo and is the exact same way. I have to "let" my husband win arguments and than nine times out of 10 he will come back and decide to do things my way but it has to be "his" decision. KWIM? My friends think it's nuts but it is the game we play to keep peace in our marriage. DH also has a habit of saying rash things which tend to get people riled up. This may explain why your tone although admittedly obnoxious from time to time has never bothered me. I'm used to it!

[houseof3boys]

Whoa! Let's not get Leo happy here. As a TOTAL Leo, you don't see me blaming it on the stars when I am right *all* of the time. :P

I think that is why Flagger's old school ways don't really bother me except to say that he just likes to stir the pot up by announcing it with such passion! Oh, yes you do Flagger!!!!!! :)

Edited to say that I have been saying Flagger is old school for months now and it is a little endearing nickname I have for him, so those that seem to think this is new you clearly don't get my personality nor remember many posts about it. What's the now famous phrase....Don't feed the trolls?!

[momathome]

What happened between me and Flagger had nothing to do with his personality, old school or otherwise, or how I feel about his parenting style. I am very much a believer in to each his own. He is certainly entitled to his opinion and I respect that. What I do not respect, however, is the fact that he turned his ratings back on this week for the purpose of giving negative ratings to me and several others who had given another person that he does not get along with a positive rating. This would the same as my giving negative ratings to everyone who rated him positively because I do not agree with him and his views. It was the malicious intent behind the negative rating over something that took place 2 months ago that floored me. I also find it astounding that a number of people have lept to his defense, claiming to be understanding of his "old school" style. Last time I checked, being "old school" does not open the door for blatant nastiness. I am shocked and hurt that he has received positive ratings for this incident. I have been on these boards longer than most and I have never felt so unsupported as what I do now.
As far as things between Flagger and I are concerned, we have resolved the issue outside of these boards and wish him well.
-Lauren

[McQ]

I'm glad you didn't let all the stuff that happened yesterday drive you from the boards. I enjoy having you here.

And I'm a Taurus so you don't want to get into an arguement with me in my household either :)

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[Sarah1]

Lauren,

I think everyone agrees Flagger was a jerk to do that. Himself included.

As far as leaping to his defense in the rating incident, I don't think anybody was defending his actions at all! The sense that I got was that we were all telling him to shape up!

I just hate to think of you feeling unsupported, because I (and I think everyone) supports you.

[alkagift]

Hey, Flagger, I was so charmed by this I tried this with my DS. He looked at the kleenex, let it fall to his lap, then looked around for the "good toys" I keep on the bed while I'm pumping.

Oh, well, I guess I've used them too many times with him for him to be interested!


Allison
Mom to Matthew Clayton, 5/19/03

[momathome]

Sarah,
The feeling I got from reading the above posts was that "Oh, Flagger, you silly man, up to your old tricks again, must be that Leo in you" - WHATEVER!!! As I have said, what happened between the 2 of us had nothing to do with his personality or posts. It was totally about the ratings game that he played, turning his on and off when it suits him which in turn forced me to shut mine off altogether, something I did not enjoy doing. This kind of crap has been going on for a long time and the whole thing just gets old after awhile.
That being said, I do appreciate the supportive nature of your post and hope we can all work to put this behind us and not support negativity. Thanks again.
-Lauren