OT: What would you do? re: drunk driving neighbor-LONG

[deborah_r]

I live in a three story apartment building and there is a below-ground parking garage. The other day when we were waiting for the gate to open so we could enter, a woman was fitting her car into her parking space. The way her space is situated, if she doesn't cut it right, she can't get in straight and then has to back up and enter again. She rarely cuts it right. Immediately across from her space is the room that stores the trash dumpster, and the door was open, to air it out I think (or else the smell comes up into the hallways, which you don't want)

So anyway, I immediately cringe because I know who it is in the car and I have smelled alcohol on her breath before after she gets out of her car, and she has numerous dents and dings on her car and I've seen her do some pretty weird things getting in and out of the garage. When we approach, she is kind of in her space but not straight, so she has to back up. I see the open door to the trash room (which is a common thing, not unusual at all), I picture her erratic driving skills, and think "Oh God, I hope she doesn't back into that door (well, that was my 2nd thought after - "Oh God, I hope we don't have to ride up in the elevator with her!")

Well, she puts it in reverse and apparently STANDS on the accelerator because she whizzes back and rams directly into the door. I think the car even bounced a little, so she was going pretty fast. I was stunned. Then she put the car in her space, and apparently sat in her car a bit, because we were VERY pokey about emptying the car and it was a while before she got in the elevator.

Forgot to mention that the area she backed into, where the trash room door is, is also where the door is that you go into/out of when you enter or exit the elevator - basically it is the path from apartments to garage. Also if I do laundry I go out of that door and around the corner to the laundry room, right in the path of where she backed up. So there is a lot of opportunity for her to do this while someone is walking there.

We haven't said anything to the building manager yet. I didn't want to get involved and then have to see this person all the time. There was definitely damage to the door, but it still functions, I think it doesn't close all the way now.

Also, if we notified the police, could they "stake out" the building and watch her leave and follow her sometime? I assume they are too busy for that, but maybe not, as there isn't a lot of crime in my neighborhood. And another thing, another lady I know in our building is a US Marshall (how cool is that! actually I think we have 2-3 US Marshalls in our building, but I know her best) - should I say something to her?

What would you do? (I feel like I'm writing a very LONG card for the board game Scruples)

[lizajane]

one of my best friends, who often lurks here and could even be reading this post, lost her sister to a drunk driving accident when her sister was 18 years old. drinking and driving kills people. i would call the police station and ask for suggestions, or call an alcohol abuse hotline to ask for tips.

it may be "none of your business" as you don't know this person as a friend. but since you are clearly concerned as a tenant and a citizen, and if you are willing to make the effort, perhaps you could seek out someone whose business it is. while i probably would not approach the person, i would want to try to find someone to say something, too.

thanks for being someone who cares!

[pritchettzoo]

I would contact the building manager. She should pay for the damage to the door. She wouldn't know that it was you who told, especially since her car has damage to match the door and the door is in the path of her car. I would broach the drunk driving situation in a hypothetical to the building manager. Chances are he/she has had other complaints about this resident.

Talking to the US Marshall might help, but I agree with the PP--you can call the non-emergency number to the police and get advice from them. Edited to say: If you ever see her leave and she's drunk, definitely call 911 asap!

What a scary, troubling situation!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[dogmom]

I guess the question is, if something happened because of this woman's drunk driving how would you feel? Would you wish you had done something? Call the police, tell the building manager. I mean, do you really care what this woman things about you if she is driving like this on a regular basis.

Jeanne
Mom to Harvey
1/16/03

[kristine_elen]

I'm not sure what, but I definitely think you should do something. What if she kills someone? You could contact your local Mothers Against Drunk Driving
(http://www.madd.org/home) and ask them for suggestions. (Main page, on left, has a place to enter your ZIP code to find chapter near you.) I hate drunk drivers. The laws in this country make me sick -- people get away with so much.
Adding: You shouldn't feel guilty or weird about reporting her. SHE is breaking the law and putting people's health and lives at risk. If she walked around the building and garage firing a gun, would you feel bad about reporting it?

[amp]

I agree with the others. You might need to say something. Here's a terrible question for you...what if next May Kai (or anyone else for that matter) has just started walking and he toddles out that door just 2 steps ahead of you? God willing she won't be "whizzing back" at that time. Obviously I would *never* want something like that to happen, but just wanted to put it in a different perspective. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Like you said, you have to see her everyday, but I'd hate to think what could happen if you didn't. Not that you can stop her in any way, but at least you'll know you did something. Good luck! It's a tough decision.

[houseof3boys]

Deborah I would totally report her. Do you know how awful that would be if something happened and she did hurt someone (or even worse) with that kind of drunken behavior?

Do something or you could regret it.

Btw, I am loving Kai's new pictures on shutterfly. Soooo cute.

[MamaKath]

Another one joining in the crowd here. The building manager needs to be contacted about the damage to the door. Also the non emergency police line should give good info.

And I agree with what someone said about the laws being too lax. DH hit a kid's car who ran a red light at a highspeed in front of him last month. Thankfully DH was okay, but there were open beer cans in the vehicle and the kid wasn't even ticketed for it. When we asked the state troopers about it later they said they couldn't prove it was his- maybe they were his dad's and the dad left them in there!?!?! Can you believe that?? Now we are left to fight with an insurance company over our vehicle that was totalled, a bunch of medical bills from dh, lost wages, etc. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and I think we got a better outcome then most in alcohol related accidents do! Sorry for the tangent, I just think it is important to follow through in some means.

[luvbeinmama]

It's not always the laws that let people get away with so much. DH has arrested people, and had the DA's office drop the case because they thought they MIGHT lose the case!! He gets really peeved about that sometimes. Esp. when he thinks he has a good case.

Of course, the gun laws are useless, but that's another discussion.

[luvbeinmama]

Wow! Now DH would have given him a ticket for sure!!! May depend on the state or the trooper!!

[zen_bliss]

growing up on a busy street, across from a bar (which was my school bus stop in the am, how bizarre is that) i saw frequent and horrible drunk driving accidents to make me the rare 16 year old who did not relish getting a drivers license. i have *very* strong opinions on DUI.

that said, yes, you should do something. BUT. if you report her to the building manager, i'd be concerned about you. the building manager is not under any confidentiality obligations. and should el-drunko find out that you've been making waves, your comfort could be compromised, your car vandalized, you get the pic. you don't need that in your home life. if you are friends with the us marshall, definitely pick her brain for some ideas.

your best shot is if you can give the police something immediate to act on -- if you notice that she's messed up and you see her leaving, call the local police department (not 911) for a fast response. say that you are a concerned neighbor who wishes to remain anonymous for your own safety reporting that this person is a habitual drunk driver, is right now in (car description, plate) heading westbound on (street), is currently intoxicated and weaving and is a danger to herself and others.

[starrynight]

I agree with everyone else. She only hit the door this time but if people are sometimes walking through there she could hit a person! I wouldn't worry about what she thinks, your safety and the safety of your other neighbors is more important hon.