Bedtime fears

[jayhjay]

My DD (2 1/2 yo) has suddenly started having bedtime fears. It started casually a couple of months ago by saying "don't let the moose come" when we put her to bed. Neither my husband nor I had any idea what the "moose" was, but we said ok and she went to bed. It has now escalated over the past months to the point that she repeats it 25 times before we leave the room for bed or naps, and usually cries out a handful of times after we leave reminding us. She is waking up after a half hour or an hour crying about it. Plus she has now added an alligator too!

We have a new baby in the house (two weeks old) so I am sure that is not helping her insecurities, although this problem predates the baby. But is has definitely escalated. No amount of reassurance that moose and alligators don't live her, that they won't get her, that she is safe, etc seems to be working.

Has anyone dealt with this? It is only at naps and bed that this is an issue. I don't want her to be afraid, but I am also getting tired of repeating over and over again that nothing will hurt her. Any ideas?

[COElizabeth]

I don't know if this would help, but maybe you could let her pick out a new stuffed animal to stand guard and scare away the "moose." If she picks it out and thinks that it is the one to do the job, maybe it will? Or a special moose-scaring nightlight, glow-in-the-dark stickers, etc.?

Good luck!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[todzwife]

Could you get some air freshener spray and call it "moose-be-gone" or something? You could tell her that it will keep the moose away, and when you spray it, it will make her room smell nice? My mom did this for monsters with some of my younger siblings and it worked nicely.

[momathome]

Oh, I feel for you! A couple of months ago, Kasey started saying she was scared when she went to bed - she said she saw monsters and that her bed was scary. After several sleepless nights that included middle-of-the-night waking coupled with "Mommy, sleep on the floor next to me" we worked out a new routine that works for her. She now has a nightlight on, her door open, and books she is allowed to look at in her bed. Since we made these changes, she is sleeping much better. Talk to her and see what compromises you can make so that bedtime is not so scary (or as Kasey would say, "scare-dy"). Good luck - it should be just a passing faze!
-Lauren

[lukkykatt]

DS went through the same thing. We now use a night light and leave his door open a crack with the hall light on. I also started telling him that I would meet him in his dreams, so he would not feel "alone". Now before he goes to sleep, we always discuss where we are going to meet in our dreams.

[parkersmama]

Not too long ago, Wesley talked every night about keeping the owl away. "Don't let the owl in here. I'm afraid of the owl." We never did figure out what he was talking about! But, things that have worked for us at different times:
*leaving the door open and hallway light on
*having a nightlight
*putting lots of kisses (kiss her palm over and over) in their hands...they put a kiss from hand to cheek when they are scared
*using "monster" or in your case "wild animal" spray to scare them away (air freshener or just water in a mister bottle)
*for us it's even worked when I just said something like, "Now Moose and Alligator, you listen to me! I'm Kasey's mama and I say that you canNOT come in here! You stay out there where you belong and leave us alone! You're not welcome in here AT ALL! So STAY AWAY!" Wag your finger at them fiercely and stand with your hands on your hips like you mean business. This usually results in giggles for the child and actually works pretty well! LOL!

Also, it's worth pointing out that I've never found logic to work at all (they don't live here, can't get you, etc). Childhood fears like these are totally *irrational* which makes them impossible to ration with. Just play along and give her tools to deal with them while all the while being understanding, kind, and loving. Most of all, don't make fun (I know you wouldn't!) because her fears are *real* despite how silly them seem to us! HTH!