Help!! My 19 mth.old DD is a BULLY!!!!!!!! (Long)

[Mommie2MadLyn]

OK, I'm just wondering if I am the only one dealing with this issue. My DD is already getting to be such a bully. I take her to a Gymboree class once a week and she is always "claiming her territory". Last week she even seemed to be singling out one little boy!! She kept telling him "Mine" about everything he touched and she even pushed him twice!! Its really getting to be embarassing. Then after the Gymboree class, we had two of her friends over and she would not share her "special toys", such as her baby and stroller, although she did let the boys play with her other toys. She also does this "Hug" thing that is more of a headlock than a hug!!:o I know she is not trying to hurt them when she does this, but I have tried teaching her to hug around their bellies and not their necks, but she doesn't get it. Everyone I talk to seems to think this is all pretty funny at her age, but I don't, and I certainly will not think its funny when she gets a little older. Hopefully by then she will be able to understand that nobody likes to be "strangled with love"!!! She does have two older cousins (3&6yrs.) that she does play pretty rough with, so I know that this is where she is picking up a lot of this behavior. But we are a very close family, so she sees them almost everyday and I would'nt want to change that. She also goes to daycare 2 days a week and I don't know what she's picking up there, but that's a whole different story because I've been told stories about her love of the word "mine" there too. Any suggestions? Sorry this is so long, and I sound like I'm rambling but this is really bothering me and I don't want it to snowball into a real problem. Thanks.

[jojo2324]

I don't have any advice, but I DO think it's funny the way she runs around strangling little boys she thinks are "MINE!" :D (Poor Brig...:))

[deborah_r]

I don't remember all of the advice, but I just read a chapter in "Trees Make the Best Mobiles" that dealt with teaching children how to share. They said that children needed to go through this stage (unfortunately for all of us!) but they gave some tips to help ease through it. The one thing I remember, they said to ask your child before other children came over if there were any toys they were unwilling to share. Then put those toys away until after the other children left.

I don't have any experience, but thought I'd share that little bit. If you want me to go back and refresh my memory on that chapter, I can and then I will paraphrase it for you. Let me know.

[toomanystrollers]

Hi Tracey,
If it's of any consolation, my dd was of similiar disposition at that age - pushing was her forte and she has lots of older cousins who would roughhouse with her. I was constantly repeating "no pushing", etc. and I truly believe her behavior was just age related (they just don't have the verbal skills yet to deal with their emotions) - somewhere around 2 1/2 - the pushing stopped. The sharing toys really didn't kick in 'til about age 3 1/2 - 4. She's really turned into a sweetie at preschool, but on the otherhand, she and her 2 yo brother bicker all day long!

Whenever Tess pushed someone at the playground (or wherever), I would always tend to the "victim" first - just to give Tess the idea that she wouldn't be getting my attention first. Then I would reinforce "no pushing" and sometimes when she's was truly having a bad day - I would give her a warning "If you push someone again, We will have to leave" and I would stick to it. I believe consistency is key when raising these not always wonderful little people :)

HTH

[Mommie2MadLyn]

Thanks Ladies for your input. I know a lot of this is just a stage, it just seems that she is entering this stage way before any of her peers. I don't want people to think that I can't discipline my daughter. My sister tells me if I think its hard now....wait till she's a teenager!!!!!! Lets not go there just yet:)!!!!