PLEASE reassure me that he won't starve!!

[jojo2324]

I don't know what to do! He is just refusing food, I think with the notion to drive me mad! Last night he ate NOTHING. I was so desperate I threw animal cookies on his tray and he woulnd't even touch those. It used to be he was a real mooch, and would run up and want a bite of anything I was eating, but now he doesn't do that anymore, not even for cake! (Yes, I eat lots of cake. :P) He's like Sam in Green Eggs and Ham, outright refuses everything.

I feel like a horrible character in some ####ens novel, sending her children to bed with no supper. But what can I do? And then he wakes up STARVING and soooooooo irritable. And I'm frustrated because now I'm desperately leaning on some rather unhealthy fare, because at least I KNOW he'll eat it. Which is starting a vicious cycle, but if he eats, he eats, you know? And it's also frustrating because he'll gobble one food one day, and then three days later want nothing to do with it. Plus I feel like I have to have a buffet of food ready to offer him, all of which he will likely reject.

Do you think it would be bad if I started giving him a big sippy of formula at night, if this continues? I know they make those second stage formulas. Sorry this is so long, and in the totally wrong forum I just realized, but I'm too frazzled to fix it. Thanks for any tips.

[jojo2324]

Wow, that's some mighty sensitive software!! :) Rhymes with Mickens.

[Rachels]

He won't starve! We've been there. I know it's terrifying, but I promise he'll come through it. The thing is to make sure the calories he's getting count for something. A second stage formula is a good idea, or spike his milk with heavy cream. Try milkshakes made with milk and heavy cream. When Abby wouldn't eat, my ped said that any food was good food. If it was a cookie, so be it. You might look up my old nutritionist post, which had the nutritionist's very specific suggestions for high-fat, high-calorie foods.

Hang in there! This too shall pass.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[sweetbasil]

Joanne,
He's gonna be okay...Kellen (while admittedly small for his age) eats two good meals/day, and the other meal is a total loss. He even says "I don't wanna eat, Mom, I just wanna play!" Just as long as you're packing lots of good things into those successful mealtimes, I think that's all you can do. I've never been able to force him to eat, as much as I'd like to!

When he does get hungry for something specific that's inappropriate for that time of day (at our house anyway), like goldfish crackers for breakfast, I tell him as soon as he eats a scrambled egg, he can have some goldfish. Another snack he really likes are cheese sticks.

Kellen has just entered a stage that marketers target, so I'm using that to my advantage...Cat In The Hat Lunchables, Trix Yogurt (which he sucks down- while refusing to eat Dannon or Yoplait), etc. So that's somethinmg to look forward to- funny as it sounds!

Hang in there!

[MelissaTC]

Matthew is the same way. Last night, I made stove top (one of his favorites) mixed with veggies and cooked some chicken. He loves chicken too. Well, little man did not touch a thing. I made him a smoothie out of desperation. I used vanilla yogurt, peach nectar, frozen strawberries and a banana. You bet he gulped that down pretty quickly! He LOVES smoothies and those drinkable yogurts. Maybe you can try those?

You know that he is not going to starve. Matthew always eats eventually. The joys of toddlerhood!

[CherylT]

He won't starve!! Welcome to the joys of feeding a toddler! My DD will go a couple of days without eating anything, just drinking her milk (which I have to regulate at 2 cups per day). The kids just don't need as much fuel as they did when they were younger - as scary as it seems when you are going through it. Just keep offering food at the normal times and he'll eat it when he's hungry - don't knock yourself out making 6 meals trying to get him to eat (I know - I went through this and it did not help one bit!). I do admit though that a couple of times a week we eat something for dinner that is the kids' favorites - sausage and mac n cheese, or sausage and pancakes/waffles, pizza, etc. Good luck to you - this was probably the most frustrating thing for me to deal with!!

Cheryl
SAHM to Lilli 9/20/00 & Alec 10/21/02

[egoldber]

Like everyone has said, this is all normal!! Try not to stress about it, just offer him 3 meals and 1-2 snacks a day. Try to do it matter of factly, because half the fun of not eating for him is to push your buttons.

Sarah will sometimes literally have 2 bites for lunch and then nothing until dinner several hours later. They know what they need. I am actually in AWE of her ability to regulate her food intake. She will eat what she wants and no more.

HTH,

[Tracey]

I read a good suggestion in one of the many books I've read on childcare/parenting etc. (major perfectionist tendencies). It said to get an ice cube tray and turn it into a snack tray. Fill the little compartments with different finger foods like raisins, sunflower seeds, bits of turkey, bits of apple, bits of cookie...you get the idea. Offer him the tray to graze on, then put saran wrap on it to save what he doesn't eat.

Again, this is not the voice of experience since my daughter is only seven months and my first child. Sounds worth a try! At least it will already be fixed when he actually decides to eat.

[KimberleyDawn]

I haven't quite reached this milestone yet with William but I clearly remember it from the early Chris years! The ice cube tray sounds great and if/ when I find myself in this situation I will give it try.
Kim

[flagger]

I would avoid allowing him to eat at non-meal/snack times. He is trying to push your buttons and apparently he is doing it. Remember, YOU are the adult here. I know pregnantly hormonally frazzled, but it is a task of wills and if you do it once, he will keep at it.

His need to survive will overtake his battle of wills after a spell. You certainly are not treating him like an orphan and sending him to bed with bread and water. But as Beth said, offer the meals matter of factly. If it is all orange for a week, meaning orange food, no big deal. When it becomes playtime, mealtime is over until the next mealtime/snacktime.

Also, I would try to make at least one meal what you are eating for the night. There is no reason for you ever to be a short order cook in your own home. If he doesn't eat it, no big deal. He goes to bed hungry, but not starving.

Be strong, jojo, I know you can do it.

[newbelly2002]

LOL Joanne, I was going to start a post with exactly the opposite problem! Dante will eat and eat, and mooch and mooch, make the sign for all done and then furiously grab another handful of food as we're picking him out of the high chair. And it's strange food, for example yesterday: cod fillet, a cream mushroom sauce, and spinach with gorgonzola. Are these tastes normal for a toddler? It's actually really concerning me--the amount, not the taste. He's got a good old-fashioned plump belly on him while the rest is quite thin (face, legs, arms). I just want to make sure I'm not giving him too much since obesity runs in both sets of the grandparents. Sorry to digress...

BUT, I have heard that toddlers need only 2-3 Tablespoons of food each DAY in order to sustain themselves. That figure reassures me for when (and if) the food refusal stage ever hits my little piglet. Gannon sounds like he's too busy living life to worry about food right now. He'll come around when he's hungry. :)

Paula
Mama to Dante, 8/1/02

[Karenn]

Joanne,
Colin didn't eat much of anything last week or the week before. Granted, he was sick, but still, it was driving me crazy! This week, not only has he been putting away huge quantities of food (like quadruple what he used to eat!), but he's been trying new things that he wouldn't touch before. I'm sort of in awe actually. My little angle who wouldn't eat vegetables or meat is now eating both of those and trying other new foods too! If you'd talked to me a month ago I never would have imagined it could happen! It's like what they always say, "This too shall pass." I didn't believe them when they told me that, but it appears to be true! ;) Good luck!

[cara1]

You mean air isn't one of the food groups? DS keeps going through phases of eating nothing, and eating like a pig. He tends to eat better at daycare. Go figure. Things he would't even touch at home. I can't even remember the last time he ate a veggie. And things keep changing. He refused to eat yogurt for months. Then I took Beth's suggestion on the yogurts with the thicker consistency (we bought Danamils instead of YoBaby), and he really likes it. He'll even go into the fridge and take it out and bring it to the table.

Moral of the story as others have said, it WILL pass. Just in time for something else to come up... ;)

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

JoJO-I'm pulling this out of a hat...but what about a heavily buttered piece of toast (lite toasted so soft) with cinnamon on it...and if he recognizes characters can you just use a cookie cutter on the toast so it might look more fun. Gosh-I don't know what age that might appeal to but for somereason that was my first thought...

Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[loewymartin]

He won't starve :-)

My pediatrician said that I should look at what Alia eats in a week in its entirety. Meaning, if she's eaten in general within the week (had a few good meals) then we're doing fine. She did caution me on offering many different items at a meal - i.e. if you are having cheese tortellini, peas & carrots and a fruit for that meal, that's what we're having (and you know they are all things he would normally eat, not hates!) He might eat, he might not, but might eat that same meal at dinner if you try again. The trick is to not offer the above and then when he doesn't eat, make a grilled cheese for that same meal, and if he doesn't eat that make something else. She said it could in turn make him a picky eater.

Just some ideas. I know how you feel - especially since Alia's sick right now I want to offer her everything under the sun as long as she eats. What we're doing is writing down what she does eat...and noticing that although she may eat only a half a pancake at breakfast on Tuesday and nothing much else that day, on Wednesday she will eat a cup of tortellini soup, a piece of wheat bread and a banana for lunch!

Michelle - Mom to Alia born 5/16/02

[JacksMommy]

As other posters have said, don't worry! Kids will eat when they are hungry. Jack has gone through several periods like this, it particularly bothers my DH when he won't eat. My advice is to try not to let it bother you - I think babies can sense when we are tense about it, Jack definitely refuses anything that I REALLY want him to eat (like when I tried to hide his amoxycillin in chocolate pudding, he wouldn't even take one bite!). You didn't mention how long this has been going on, but it could be related to him beginning to get sick, or to teething. A few times when Jack has refused to eat, a couple of days later, he starts chewing on everything, and I realize teething was making him not want to eat. BTW, frozen peas and corn have been a huge hit with him, I think he likes the cold on his sore gums.

Good luck!

Laurel
Mama to Jack, 6/4/02

[jojo2324]

Thanks everyone!! Honestly, everything you've said I KNOW, I just can't come to terms with it yet. I think I do tend to overload his tray, but again, I KNOW that he doesn't need to eat that much, and that babies have the remarkable ability to not eat when they don't need to. If I really think about it, I eat small amounts and feel stuffed and his tummy is much smaller than mine! So I can't expect him to pack away huge quantities. (Yet. If he's anything like his father I'll have to fight for food at the dinner table in a few years. :)) Also, I think Beth just posted something about kids being more than happy to drink their fat (milk), as opposed to eating it, and that seems to be his inclination as well.

We've taken some steps yesterday and today. Yesterday he ate one whole YoBaby in one sitting, something he hasn't done in months. Usually he only eats half, or a couple of spoonfuls. My one concern is veggies. He's not going there! He used to love carrots, but that bubble suddenly burst. Last night I did see him mouth a red pepper, and he ate a little bit of salmon. Today he was very happy to feed himself some tuna. (I think his ability to self-feed with utensils will help him eat too.) Also, it does seem like dinner is the trouble meal. I just feel so badly...If he wasn't going to sleep for 10+ hours afterwards, I wouldn't feel quite so worried about it. So, baby steps. Thanks again everyone!! :)