Stole idea from other posts: House Chores!

[KimberleyDawn]

When I was home with DS I felt I never had time for cleaning, cooking and laundry....now I'm working FT and I feel I have even less time because I can't even try and sneak something in during the day!
HOW IS EVERYONE MANAGING (home mom's & working mom's)!!!
I'm going crazy with guilt but I'm soooo tired! If I leave everything for the weekend I have no fun time with the family before back to work on Monday.
Kim
DH does stuff to help but I would NEVER ask him to do laundry or cook just like he would NEVER ask me to do the lawn or garbage!

[peanut4us]

I've found that our "never" ask the other to do typical stuff the other usually has done has gone by the wayside. We definately both do laundry. I always sort and leave any special instructions with him if he is going to do it. Usually, he'll start a few loads and later in the day I'll shift everything to its next stations. Folding laundry is definately gender-neutral. We also both take out the garbage.

Now, mowing and edging are DH's domain, mostly because I literally blew up our last lawn mower the one time that I tried to mow (big cloud of black smoke, fire, boom, not good :o ). He's the better cook and enjoys is more, while I tend to put together menu ideas and the grocery list.

Since I've been back to work, I've let the house go to pot. Sara's room is always clean... it takes about 5 minutes to vaccuum and dust in there a week. The rest of the house... we vaccuum downstairs once a week... again that's a 10 minute job. We sweep the kitchen about 2xs a week... I used to mop only 1 or 2 times a month, but with Sara crawling, I feel the need to up that. I can do that during her nap time on Saturday in about 15 minutes. What else... oh, bathrooms... DH never cleaned a toilet bowl until I went back to work after we had Sara... usually he cleans a bowl a week, I clean the other 2. It takes about 20 min to clean 3 bowls, 2 countertops, and 3 sinks... I only do the floors as needed.

Probably sounds pretty bad, but it doesn't really look bad. I was worrying about spending too much time cleaning and "upkeeping" on the house instead of spending time with Sara. Then I realized, that my house doesn't have to be "as clean" as I have always liked it.

My advice would be to identify five 10-15 minute cleaning tasks that are the most important to you. And do one task each night after the kids are in bed. At the end of the week, that almost a whole hour's worth of cleaning. Make sure you don't let yourself get side-tracked while you are doing your cleaning task. And definately give your DH some specific jobs to do. Tell him that you want to organize cleaning better, so you have more time with the fam. Ask him what he would be willing to help out with. My DH said vaccuuming, which surprised me. It's much nicer to have them tell you what they are willing to do than just "assign" them a task that they don't want to do.

When DH and I first started that, he said he would vaccuum. So I said, OK, it's Sunday night... by Friday night, I need you to, at minimum, vaccuum the living room and entry way. If you have the time and feel so inclined, if you would vaccuum x-other area (just one, like my bathroom), that would be great. He did it fine the first week. I gave him the same speech the next. And he didn't do it. So he was a little miffed and feeling bad when he saw me vaccuuming the living room and entry way on Friday night. I didn't do it to make him feel bad; I just wanted it done. When he realized that if he didn't do it during the week, it was important enough to me for me to do myself, he made sure to do it. I still remind him every week though, or it doesn't get done.

Good Luck!
Edited for atrocious spelling

[bluej]

I'm not managing so well. Laundry is my daily goal and I meet that, and I usually try to get the house picked up each day as well. I keep thinking that if I get it picked up, then the next day I can clean a room and so on. Well somehow b/w the time of getting it picked up and the next day it becomes messy again. I'm really working on getting the kids to pick up after themselves and am doing rather well w/ that. It's DH that's the problem :( And I certainly don't cook every day! It's more like every other day around here. If a meal isn't going to make enough for leftovers, I don't cook it! Awhile ago a bunch of members decided to organize a yahoo group for organizing your home. I don't think anyone has gotten too far in that! I just keep telling myself it won't always be like this. My house wasn't this chaotic prior to becoming pregnant w/ Ryden and as he gets older and sleeps more and I sleep more and he plays more independently hopefully the house will become cleaner. Clearly a lot has to fall into place for that to happen!

Edited to add that we have three vacuum cleaners. One lives permantly in the dining room and gets used daily. I tuck it away only when we are going to have company. I hate dragging the vacuum cleaners out, so if they stay out, they get used more. Another one is downstairs in the family room and that one stays out as well (no one goes in there other than us). The third is tucked in my closet and is used for the bedrooms and living room and only needs to be dragged out once a week. I clean the main bathroom while Caden takes his bath (3-4x a week). I have to be in there anyway, so I guess I never really count the time that takes. So I guess I'm doing better than I thought!

[sntm]

compared to joey, my house is a mess!
DH now does most of the cooking and cleaning, because I usually have papers or homework to do in the evenings and he likes projects anyway. we try to pick up before bed, but that doesn't always happen.

we usually end up vacuuming once a month, mopping once a month, cleaning the bathrooms thouroughly once a month (though i try to wipe up weekly), with everything done serially, so the kitchen one weekend, the living room the next.

i do laundry once a week but it is usually a several day process with clothes sitting in the dryer waiting to be folded.

it looks cleaner than it is, but i hate it! my dream is to one day when we have more money have a weekly housekeeper, though DH bristles at that idea -- says he doesn't want other people cleaning up his messes. i said fine, but hope you include me in "other people"


shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[hez]

We cheat. A few years ago we had free house-cleaning every other week for three months as part of a panel. I got addicted! With both of us working full-time, I had felt like my weekends were always spent cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

So, I have given up other things to budget for our cleaners while I'm on leave. They're here every other Thursday, and they're wonderful. I do spot stuff in between, and we do a good job of putting all the clutter away before they get here, but the nasty jobs like cleaning the toilet gets done by them, not me :)

We split on the cooking. We make easy stuff that doesn't require a lot of concentration, or we eat frozen dinners (I love Healthy Choice bowls!), and we're starting to go out on occasion again. We were menu-planning so that grocery shopping was easier, but that's gone down the tubes with the holidays approaching.

DH has taken over the laundry. I sort it, but he's so anal about folding things, I let him do it. Since the laundry room is next to the family room, this way he can legitimately watch all the ESPN he wants while he's doing laundry. I have a girl friend who would just throw a load in when she left for work in the morning, and dry/fold it when she got home-- one load a day, no more, no less, and she was able to keep up. That may have to be revisited when I go back to work.

DH has always taken care of the garbage, but I'll take it out if I notice the kitchen bag's full. I've only mowed twice since we've lived here (majorly steep hill in the back, and I embarassed myself the first time when DH was on a business trip and I had to have the neighbor pull-start the mower for weakling me!). So, sometimes the lawn gets a little long. I did pay the neighbor's kid to mow once over the summer when I was pregnant and DH was away on business.

I make myself a list when I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. It always has 'shower' and 'brush/floss' on it or else I might forget (ha, ha), but if I get two other things done on it I feel good, and stop feeling so guilty.

We're not SuperGirl (or whatever the Superman equivalent is). Just need to decide what's important (i.e. the baby's needs are met, I'm clean, I'm fed, DH is fed), and relax on the rest. It's worth it to me to skimp on other things $$-wise so I don't have to do the heavy cleaning.

Good luck sorting it out!

[heva]

DH got me a maid for Christmas 2 y ago and it saved our marriage :) The best $75 every 2 weeks I've ever spent. Now all I do is pick up and put away stuff. We share the dishes, cooking and trash, but I always seem to be doing laundry. While I'm on maternity leave, that's ok, but I'm sure we'll have to talk when I go back to work.

[ktdid74]

I just signed up with a maid service, too! I'm so excited I can hardly wait till they come!! Anyway, I only work 2 night shifts a week but was at the point where I anytime I see my dirty bathroom or dusty mantle that I wanted to cry. My friend suggested I look into someone cleaning the house for me. I thought no way, why should I not be able to deal with my house myself. The thing is I have a 3yr old and 7 month old who take up all my time. During naps, I try to nap (for work) or clean something but just can't keep up. I brought it up with DH, was sure he would shoot down the idea, but he said find out how much it is. I'm going to work an extra shift a month to cover it ( I have a small house and it'll be 75 every 2 weeks). We need a new car but I'd rather have the maid service for now!!
I think it's going to save my sanity. All I have to do is straighten up the day to day stuff and keep up with the laundry (which is a whole other story :) ) but they'll do the big stuff. I can't wait to see my whole house clean (for a few hours at least :) ) at one time.

[hez]

Seeing your whole house clean for at least a few hours every 2 weeks is a WONDERFUL feeling!!!! Such a stress reliever-- enjoy it!

[houseof3boys]

Boy oh Boy do I feel lazy after reading this post. Joey come over here honey and teach me how you do it. I think if I didn't spend so much time on these boards, ebay, email and other sites I would have a spic n span house. :)

I tried to fly lady but got annoyed with the zillion emails a day so I gave that up. I do clean the bathrooms very well at least once a week. I hate a dirty kitchen (since I do love to cook) so that is fairly clean as well. Other than that, DH does the vacuuming since I hate to do it. I keep telling him he needs to step it up and do it more often since the dog is shedding like crazy lately and he needs to get in the habit of doing it since Ryan will be crawling in a few months. I have one of those electric sweepers so I will use that so I don't have to drag out the huge canister vac. Laundry is an almost everyday occurrence but I don't mind it most times. My new thing is to just put 2 loads max on the guest bed until I am ready and then I'll just put Ryan in there with me and fold it with him on the bed playing with the clean clothes! Makes it fun for both of us I guess.

I am currently on a quest to ebay all of the "junk" in the house right now that we just don't need so I am thinking I may get a maid with that money so I feel like I am contributing since I am a SAHM now! I do believe that a clean home makes me happier and I get really stressed out when we have guests coming in because then I have major pressure to clean clean clean. My IL's are here this weekend so the house is spotless! If only I could keep it that way..... :)