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lmintzer
12-10-2003, 04:54 PM
Thanks to all who really cheered me up and encouraged me on Sunday night when I was having my meltdown about dh going back to work.

Monday went okay--I had my hard moments in the morning with the 2 kids before my dad got here. Jack was pretty good while I was nursing Joshua, but then when I went down to make Jack breakfast and Joshua started crying, Jack got upset. And the demands from Jack come fast and furious (he was like that before but is trying even harder to control what he can in his little world now that the baby is here). He's also even more compulsive than ever (he's a little boy who likes order--takes after his mom, lol). His favorite activity lately is lining up toys. He'll sort by color, by type of toy. He'll line up his food, his plate and cup and fork--pretty much anything. I know this is normal behavior in a toddler but it is even more pronounced than ever now.

My dad is definitely a help while he is here (2 days/week when I don't have my nanny). DH and I joke (not in front of ds) that Jack is like having twins, so now it's feeling like we have 3 kids. My dad plays with him and will even change his diaper. I still do all the food-related stuff for both kids and put Jack down for nap and give him his bath, etc. I am pretty worn out by the end of the day running from kid to kid. I also feel like I have to run interference between my dad and Jack, since my dad can be too critical and say "no" too much (which Jack then reacts to and acts up more). But I can't look a gift horse in the mouth. I need the help, so I have to accept it even if it isn't perfect.

My nanny is quitting her other job (office job which she works at when she's not here). It is SO tempting to think about hiring her full-time, at least for the short-run. However, I don't want to leave her in the lurch when, say, 3 months from now, I decide that I can handle some time on my own with my two children. I may see if she's interested in a few additional hours while she's looking for other work, though. Until Joshua's nursing is really stable (i.e., more spread out feedings that don't take 45 minutes each) and until I'm not struggling to get him latched on the right side with my Boppy, my back rest, my nursing stool, etc., it's feeling good to have as much help as possible.

On a more fun note, I'm feeling "entitled" to fun baby equipment. I ordered a P3 in Synergy and a matching infant carseat from Marilyn at A Running Stroller. I may order a Latch Marathon for DS #1 as well. And then, when the new Aria doubles come out in Jan. . . you never know. : ) DH thinks I'm crazy to buy the P3. We didn't really need it. But I felt like a treat, and it is a nice in-between size that either child can ride in comfortably. And it does also have the rear step that Jack can use when he's a touch older. Here I am justifying all this to myself, lol! DH has been in "speaker mode" lately (new large, free-standing stereo speakers and new speakers for our 2nd car). So I say he can have his little obsessions and I can have mine. I should post all of this on the stroller board, no?

Well, sorry to ramble. Better go check on my tiny guy. He seems to be making some noise in his sleep.

Lisa
& Jack, 4/20/01
& Joshua, 11/16/03

egoldber
12-10-2003, 10:58 PM
Lisa, I'm glad things are sorting themselves out for you. But I had to respond to this part of your post!

"He's also even more compulsive than ever (he's a little boy who likes order--takes after his mom, lol). His favorite activity lately is lining up toys. He'll sort by color, by type of toy. He'll line up his food, his plate and cup and fork--pretty much anything. I know this is normal behavior in a toddler but it is even more pronounced than ever now."

Just in the last couple weeks, Sarah has started doing this too! She lines up all her toys in either neat orderly rows (she call them choo-choos, its very cute) or in neat orderly stacks. And then she will take them apart and do it again. She will do this for HOURS! Its almost freaky to watch her, yet I'm grateful for the self-entertainment! So your toddler is not alone!

pritchettzoo
12-10-2003, 11:53 PM
Glad to hear it's going better than expected!

FWIW, as long as your nanny knows it's not going to last, I don't see why hiring her full-time or more-time would be bad at all. She might appreciate the extra income while she's looking for more work.

I hope it keeps going well for you!

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

amp
12-11-2003, 12:36 PM
Lisa, So glad that you are feeling better equipped to deal with DH being gone all day. It sounds like you, Joshua and Jack are all adjusting and in no time you'll be an old hand at this! Hang in there!

kathsmom
12-11-2003, 02:16 PM
Lisa,

I am so glad that things worked out pretty well for you and your family during your DH's first day back at work. My DD was in kindergarten when DS was born, and it still took awhile for all of us to get into some kind of routine.

I agree with what one of the other posters stated about hiring your nanny to help you out more often. As long as she knows it's only temporary while she is looking for another job, I think she would probably do it to help bring in extra money.

Take care and let us know if you need anything!

doubleL
12-11-2003, 03:20 PM
Lisa,

Reading your post is like deja vu for me... it was just 6 short months ago I was going through such a similiar situation.

The one thing I particularly wanted to comment on was how Jack is handling it. My DS sounds very much like him. When we bought DD home from the hospital I was SOOOOOOO nervous about DS. My pediatricians did NOT help at all by cramming down my throat to never leave the two alone together for fear DS was going to accidently or purposefully hurt DD. So initially when DD would start to cry so would DS. I thought he was realizing how much time DD was going to demand and getting upset about that. So I would try to distract DS in a different direction and he would cry even more. However it turned out, I think (It was very hard to know since DS language was close to nil at the time.), that DS was actually concerned about this new little baby and didn't want to see her upset. So when I included him on settling DD and teaching him ways to soothe her or make her smile, he was very happy about that. FWIW.

At the same time he did start demanding and testing ME a TON!!!! And I felt it was really important, though also very difficult, to try to give him a lot of special time, comfort, and discipline appropriately while still caring for the newborn. It's a juggling game.

Unfortunately, I can't say it's really getting any easier. I'm pretty scared right now because DD is about to be on the move and generally needs a lot more of my time than when she was a newborn (she was a pretty easy baby though). DS is now starting to show more signs of actual jealousy.

But to end on a happy note... it has also been so much fun!! Really! They are definitely each others best friend. DS is constantly checking on DD. He used to kiss her constantly. Now he makes sure she has all her teethers surrounding her. Nobody can make DD smile and actually laugh but DS.

Best of luck and enjoy!!

Lou
~DS 5.01
~DD 6.03

muskiesusan
12-11-2003, 08:31 PM
Lisa,

I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking of you. I know it must be hard, and I would definately ask your nanny for additional help if she is able. And, you are definately entitled to fun baby equipment!!

Susan
Mom to Nicholas 10/01/01
& Baby #2 due 4/23/04!!!!